First You Fall

Zacky's P.O.V.

I don't pray to a God. In my line of business there is no God and if there was one he sure as fuck wouldn't be on my side. Less then half an hour after I had gotten the call, Brian and Matt were carrying a bloody and unconscious Jimmy into the house. Minutes after that, our personal doctor had arrived and had locked himself alone in the room with Jimmy. I spent the twenty minutes in between that time and the time the doctor came back out, wondering what the fuck I was supposed to do. I couldn't pray because no God would listen to my ass. I also couldn't lose Jimmy, he's been like a fucking brother to me. So I couldn't fucking pray and I had no control over Jimmy's fate but I could fucking get revenge on the fuckers who did this to him.

“Did you get the plates?” I asked, directing my question at Matt.

“I got the plate numbers for both squad cars and a pretty good look at the two of the officers.”

I absentmindedly spun the pistol around in my hand. Brian stood beside me, swiping his knives repeatedly across the legs of his pants. Matt was cracking his knuckles and Johnny sliding his chain across the floor. We stayed like this for a few more minutes before the doctor stepped out of the room.

“I've managed to stop the blood flow and I think he's in a fairly stable state right now.”

“Does he need to get to the hospital?” I asked. I had known Caine, the doctor, for a few years and he always dealt with the various wounds and rare bullet shots we'd gotten but with Jimmy laying in a bed unconscious I wasn't sure how much I was willing to put in Caine's hands. On the other hand if I took Jimmy to the hospital now, the police would have ample proof to give him some minor jail time.

“He should wake up pretty soon so I doubt he needs to be taken to the hospital but I'll stay here and if the blood flow picks up again I'll get him to a hospital immediately.”

I nodded and pushed myself up from the wall. I waved my hand and started down the stairs knowing the guys would follow. I walked into my office and headed straight for my desk drawers. I pulled a few guns from the drawers and started tossing them to the guys after pocketing two for myself.

“How are we handling this?” Matt asked, sticking the gun in his pants before grabbing a baseball bat, his weapon of choice.

“We're heading to the precinct and staking the fucking place out until I find out which cops were in the cars responsible for Jimmy's shooting. We'll follow them home and kill the fuckers right on their front steps.” I moved away from the desk, accidentally knocking over a stack of papers that had been teetering on the edge.

I would have ignored the fallen papers if a large manila envelope on top hadn't caught my attention. Last time I saw one of those someone was trying to shoot Toni.

“What the fuck is this?” I asked, bending down and grabbing the folder.

“It came earlier today and I thought I'd run it through you before opening it.” Johnny replied, pausing beside the door.

“Whatever it is, we'll deal with it later. Let's fucking go.” Brian said, bouncing on his heels, a sign that he was already in the mood to kill someone.

I ignored him and tore the envelope open before turning it upside down over the desk. A slim, beige folder slipped out. I opened the folder and I swear I think my heart stopped beating for a few seconds. And if my heart hadn't crashed then everything else did. I fell backwards onto my chair, my eyes not moving away from the pictures displayed in the folder. The first was an ID photo of a cop sporting a badge, blue hat, and a look that tried to hard to be intimidating. This hadn't been what fucked my mind over; the other pictures had the pleasure of doing that. Scattered across the folder were various tiny pictures of Toni and that cop. One appeared to be outside in a parking lot and they were standing together next to her car. The other showed the two of them sitting together in a Starbucks. Another one showed Toni handing the cop a stack of papers while he stood beside her table. The folder was littered with enough close up shots that there was no fucking way to mistake that it wasn't Toni in those pictures. My Toni. My leak. They didn't belong together. They shouldn't go together.

By this point the guys had come over to see what had me so shocked. Apparently I wasn't the only one blown away by the pictures. No one spoke for a few minutes, everyone inspecting the pictures. I just sat there. I didn't need to look at them anymore. I'd seen all I needed to.

“Zacky-” It was when Brian spoke that I finally snapped.

“Get out.” I cut him off and glared at the guys.

“We should-” Johnny tried this time.

“Get the fuck out now!” I shouted, slamming my hands down onto the desk and swiping the disgusting folder away from me.

The guys all filed out of the room, leaving me alone to my thoughts. I loved her. I loved her and she did this shit to me. I felt everything that had become my world over the past year start to slip away. None of that shit mattered anymore. If Toni was the problem then I would just have to take care of her. I stood and up and left the room. I found the guys sitting around the lounge talking to each other. The sounds stopped once they saw me standing in the doorway.

“Brian, go take care of the cop that shot Jimmy. Johnny and Matt, you two are going to go kill the fucking cop that the bitch has been talking too. I'll stay here and take care of Toni.” I said, leaving no room for negotiation.

My demeanor must have scared the shit out of the guys because none of them asked any questions. They all stood and headed towards the front door. Once I heard it shut behind them, I headed back up the stairs and to my bedroom. I sat on the bed that Toni and I had shared, staring at the door. I pulled my gun from my waist and started twirling it absentmindedly again. My plans to kill that night hadn't changed.

Toni's P.O.V.

“Honey, you're drunk. Call a cab and head on home.”

“I'm not drunk.” I said, staring at two Rorys.

I'd shown up at the club about two hours ago. After my awkward encounter at Starbucks, I'd decided to spend the rest of the day outside of the house. The last thing I needed was to go back and find that the guys were still hiding shit from me. I'd ended up at the club and my phone had died hours ago. I hadn't intended to get this drunk but drinking seemed like a better idea than sitting around and wallowing in my own disgusting pity.

“I'm not giving you any more drinks. I'm calling you a cab.” My former boss and friend turned and pulled out her cell phone.

“No Rory! I wanna stay here. Give me another drink.” I managed to get a full sentence out without stuttering, proof that I wasn't drunk. Or rather I wasn't drunk enough. But a few more drinks would take care of that.

“The cab will be here in a few. Just stay here. I'm not letting anyone serve you anymore so don't even try it.” Rory pointed at me before moving off to mix drinks for all the other people surrounding the bar.

I sighed and dropped my head onto the counter. When had everything gotten so complicated? When had all the good things turned to shit? I ran my palm over the smooth surface of the bar while I kept firing off questions at myself. I did this until Rory popped back up in front of me.

“Come on.” She said while hopping over the counter.

She grabbed my arm and dragged me through the crowds of people filling the club. Once we were outside I took a deep breathe. The hot, stale air did very little to sober me up though it did make me cough a little. I was done with deep breathes for the night. I didn't fight it as Rory stuffed me in a cab and gave the driver my address. I knelt down and kept my head in between my knees the entire ride. I needed the blood to flow to my brain. I wanted to have all my sense straight when I got home and approached Zacky.

I felt a hand pushing my shoulder and I looked up to see the cab driver staring at me.

“Miss. We're here.” He gestured out the window before stretching out his palm and waiting for the cab fare.

I pulled my wallet from my jeans and opened it. Without asking how much, I just pulled all the bills out and tossed them at him. I'm a lot more generous when I'm drunk. Or maybe just too lazy to count out the right amount of bills. I stumbled from the cab and up the walkway. It took me five minutes just to get the door open. I dropped my keys and phone on the small stand beside the door. It took almost fifteen minutes to make it up the stairs. The house was unusually silent so I assumed the guys were out on a job or something.

I reached the top of the stairs and made it down the hallway to mine and Zacky's room. I pushed the door open and stumbled into the room. I almost jumped out of my skin when I saw Zacky sitting there on the bed. I had thought all the guys were out.

“Jesus fucking Christ!” I shouted. “You scared the shit out of me.”

I pushed the door closed and leaned back against it, closing my eyes and trying to get my drunken and shocked self under control. Once my breathing returned to normal I opened my eyes and found Zacky still sitting there. Now that I wasn't scared shit-less I was able to get a good look at him.

He sat on the bed, spinning a gun around in his left hand. Legs spread, body leaning over and head looking up at me. The look in his eyes could only be described as murder. It was a look I'd never seen him give me before. I imagine it's the look that the people who work with him often get. Most likely right before they're killed or maimed.

“What the fuck happened?” I asked, moving closer to him.

“Where have you been?” Zacky asked, my skin crawling at the harsh and deadly edge in his voice. The gun was still being spun around.

“Out.” I replied softly. “Zacky what's going on? And where are all the guys?”

“What'd you tell your cop friend today?” He asked, that same low and deadly growl in his voice.

It took me a moment to comprehend what he had just said.

“Wait, Zacky what are you talking about?” I asked, now backing away slowly. The look in his eyes and the tone of his voice was starting to scare me.

“Where're you going?” He asked with a short, humorless laugh. “Not trying to run are you?”

He stood up and before I knew what exactly was going on Zacky had me pushed against the wall beside the door. He ran his hand down my side but it didn't give me the same comforting feeling it used to. Suddenly, he was pressing his lips to mine but it wasn't like any kiss we've ever shared. It was forceful and harsh. Before I could register what was going on he had pulled his lips away again.

“You taste like a lying bitch. And a bit like Jack Daniels.” Zacky roughly grabbed my arm and threw me onto the floor.

Normally I would have been able to catch my balance but I was still in a bit of a drunken state and my reaction times were very lowered. Instead, I hit the ground hard.

“Did you have a couple drinks with your cop friend? What was his name again? Daniel, right?” Zacky spoke almost to himself while he paced around me on the floor.

“Zacky what the fuck are you talking about? I don't know any fucking Daniel and I sure as hell don't know any fucking cops.” I said, getting to my knees and trying to stand again.

“Stop with the fucking lies already!” Zacky kicked me in the stomach, sending me back to the ground in a coughing heap.

Staring at the ground and coughing, my drunken mind tried to figure out was going on. There was no fucking way this was a nightmare because I could clearly feel the bruise forming where Zacky's foot had collided with my stomach. I was trying to make as many connections possible in my mind. He thought I knew some cop.

And then the rest of the situation hit me at lightning speed. I don't know why or how but Zacky really believed that I was talking to some cop. He was going to kill me. Zacky, the man I thought I loved, was going to kill me right here on our bedroom floor.

The sound of the bullet clicking into place was enough to sober me up very fucking fast. I looked up to see Zacky pointing his gun right at my head. And that was it. Everything I thought I knew, everything I thought I felt, this entire past year, all of it was just gone.

“I trusted you. I loved you. I fucking saved you from yourself, from the fucked up life you were living before me. And you do this shit to me.” He growled.

“Zacky I don't know what the fuck is going on but I didn't do whatever the fuck it is you think I did.”

“I said stop fucking lying to me, bitch.” Zacky kicked me again and my entire body slumped to the floor again.

“Get up.” His voice came out low and rough.

I stayed where I was fighting the urge to roll around in pain.

“Get the fuck up!” He shouted, reaching down and using my hair to pull me to my knees.

Once I was kneeling before him, he pressed the barrel of the gun to my temple. The metal felt freezing against my sweaty skin. Who knew death came with this chilling sensation? I felt my heart beat faster as I looked up into the eyes of my boyfriend which also happened to be the eyes of my killer. I would have spoken again to plead my case but it already felt like a lost cause. I was ready to die right here on the bedroom floor.

And then suddenly the sensation was gone. The barrel of the gun wasn't pressed to my temple anymore.

“Get the fuck out.” Zack said, ripping the door open with so much force that I swear the hinges loosened.

I was in shock for a moment and couldn't seem to make my tired, beaten body move.

“Get the fuck out now!” Zacky shouted and I swear my heart shook at the sound.

Suddenly my body regained it's strength and I was leaving the room in record speed. I made it out of the house before my mind even caught up to the pace my body was moving at. I ran out of the house and just kept running. Now that my mind was running, my body couldn't stop running. The faster the thoughts flew around my head, the faster my legs would send me flying down the street. I wasn't sure how long I'd been running before I came to a stop and leaned back against a building. My body had finally slowed down but my mind hadn't. What the fuck was I supposed to do now. Everything I owned and almost everyone I knew was back at Zacky's place and there was no way in hell that I'd be able to go back there. I sat there on the street for almost an hour before the shock of everything wore off. I couldn't just stay on the street so I had to get my ass up and do something. I decided I would catch a cab to the bus station and get on the first Greyhound out of here. It didn't matter where it was going. I just had to get away and not come back. I reached into my pocket and pulled out my wallet. It didn't take me long to remember that I had given all my cash to the cab driver earlier that night. God, that seemed so long ago. Had it really only been a few hours ago that I was still so in love? Had it been a few hours ago that my biggest problem was not being told everything? And now here I was with a shit load of worse problems on my hands. I would have used the few credit cards in my wallet but knowing Zacky he had already had those cut off in the hour or so since I'd been viciously thrown out. At least I still had my life and I suppose that that was something most people didn't get away from Zacky with. But then again what kind of fucking life was I going to have, sitting on the streets of Huntington Beach.

I climbed to my feet and started walking again. I knew a place where I'd be able to get so cash. The walk took about half an hour but with some many thoughts cluttering my mind, I hardly noticed the time it had taken. It was past midnight now and the streets were empty. I finally came to a stop in front of a run down looking pawn shop. I glanced down at my wrist at the anniversary gift Zacky had given me. The beautiful bracelet usually felt weightless but all of a sudden it seemed to feel heavy around my wrist. I ran my fingers along the white gold once more before taking it off and clutching it in my hands. I walked into the 24 hour pawn shop and up to the seedy looking counter.

“What do you need?” The man behind the counter asked without looking up from his book.

“I want to sell you this.” I let the bracelet dangle from my fingers.

The man looked up and his eyes widened at the sight of the white gold charm bracelet with the tiny gold charms hanging off of it.

“How do I know that's real?” He asked, composing himself though I could tell he was still excited to see the piece of expensive jewelry.

“It's as fucking real as the come.” I said, laying it neatly on top of the dirty counter.

“I'll give you 200 for it.” The man grunted, taking his eyes away from the bracelet and looking at me.

“200?! Are you shitting me. This thing cost more than five times that amount.” I said, indignantly.

“Look, lady, I don't even know if the bracelet is real or not. You're lucky to be getting 200 out of me.”

“Lucky? Well I'll take my fucking luck elsewhere.” I said, snatching the bracelet up.

“Wait!” He shouted, his hand reaching for mine. “I've only got 350 or so in the register. I'll give it all to you for the bracelet.”

I pretended to think about it for a moment. I was actually really happy the guy hadn't called my bluff because there was no other pawn shops anywhere in the vicinity so I had no where else to turn if I didn't get the money here. 350 would be enough to get me on a bus somewhere far from here with a little bit left to spare for a few nights in a motel room until I could figure something out.

“Deal.” I said, nodding at the guy behind the counter.

He walked over to the register and pulled out a tiny key, opening it up. He emptied out the big bills and walked back over to me. He counted the money in front of me before putting it in a white envelope and holding it out to me. I ran my fingers over the bracelet in my hand one last time before letting it fall onto the counter and taking the envelope from the man. I gave another short nod before turning around and leaving the store.

I walked down the street looking around for a pay phone. I would need to catch a cab to the bus station and from there I was gone. With nothing but the clothes on my back and a couple hundred dollars in my pocket, I was getting the fuck out of this place and leaving behind this life.