Secrets Will Kill You

I could say real guns didn’t bother me. I could say that I don’t get nervous when I point a gun at a person. I could say I wasn’t shocked by how easily Dean shot Mrs. Tanner. But it would all just be lies. Guns bother me. Sure, I’ve dealt with guns all my life but I never had to use one to take a person’s life. A person. Sure, I get nervous around guns but I don’t show it because I’m supposed to be the strong one. I’m supposed to be the one who isn’t scared of taking something out, if it’s necessary. If it ever came down to it, yes, I would shoot first, ask questions later…I think. If it put Brit’s life at risk, there’s no doubt in my mind that I wouldn’t do it. But, I think maybe I should just step up my game…I should be able to just…do the job. But, my dad was so controversial that even though he taught me to defend myself, he taught me how to have feelings and have a conscience. Blood shouldn’t freak me out. Guns shouldn’t freak me out. Killing should freak me out…but it doesn’t. Killing people upsets me…shouldn’t it do the same to everyone? I guess not, since we have serial killers in life…but Dean. He’s not a serial killer. He’s a guy on the job. He did what he had to do. Maybe it’s something I should be learning from him. The point of our road trip in the very beginning was to learn from one another. They taught us how to aim well and we taught them how to suture and bandage each other up and we told them about a lore or three. Maybe I should be learning how to…just shoot…whatever it was that needed shooting.

“Hey” a voice said, loud enough for me to snap out of my thoughts. I looked up and saw Dean walking over to me as I was leaning against the wall. “You okay?” he asked.

“Yea, yea I’m fine” He eyed me. “Just thinking…” He continued to eye me. I had freaking diarrhea of the mouth right now. “I don’t know…I wonder why I have such a problem with shooting things…well not shooting things. I shoot things just fine but…”

“Shooting people” he assumed.

I nodded. “I never shot anyone before…what if today…that changes?” I asked him.

He shrugged. “Then it changes. If you need to shoot someone, you shoot them…”

“Shoot first, ask questions later. I know…” I finished for him. I was quiet again.

“I think you’re going soft on me” he chuckled.

I scoffed. “I am not”

“I bet I could shoot better than you could” he challenged.

I laughed, mockingly. “Oh really? I beg to differ”

“Well then when we get out of here, how about we see”

“You are so on” I agreed.

“Good…but for now…” he lightened up. “You have to promise me you aren’t getting soft” he said, picking up my gun from the small table and he handed it to me.

“I’m not getting soft, Dean” I rolled my eyes at him and took my gun from him. He still eyed me. “I swear to you. If it comes down to it, I’ll shoot” I nodded.

“Hey, let me in! Let me in, please!” we heard a man yell from outside as we all were gathered in the waiting room.

I stuck my gun in the back of my hands and put my shirt over the end that was hanging out. “It’s Duane Tanner!” Mark yelled and opened the door so another man came in to us.

Mark locked the door again. “Oh, thank God” Duane said with relief. “Duane, you okay?” Mark asked.

“That’s the guy that I, uh…” Dean asked and slid his finger across his throat. “Yea” both Sam and Brit answered.

“Who else is in here?” Duane asked as he tried to walk more toward the middle of the room.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa. Easy there, chief. Hey, Doc, give Duane a good once over, would you?” Dean asked, gripping onto Duane’s shoulder tightly. We all walked into the doctor’s office and Dean sat him in a chair.

“Pam?” Dr. Lee called out. “Who are you?” Duane asked Dean.

“Never mind who I am. Doc?” Dean responded.

Pam entered the room. “Okay” Dr. Lee said. “Duane, where you been?” Mark asked.

“I was on a fishing trip up by Roseland. I came back this afternoon. I saw Roger McGill being dragged out of his house by people we know. They started cutting him with knives! I ran, I’ve been hiding in the woods ever since. Has anybody seen my mom and dad?”

Dean puckered his lips and sucked in some air, looking at us. “Awkward” he breathed out quietly. I rolled my eyes at him.

“You’re bleeding” Dr. Lee stated and we all looked at his leg.

“Where’d you get that?” I demanded.

“I was running. I must’ve tripped”

“Tie him up. There’s rope in there” Dean ordered, gesturing to a cabinet.

“Wait…” Duane said as he started to stand and I felt my hand twitch to my gun but stopped when Dean raised his gun first.

“Sit down!”

“Sorry, Duane, he’s right. We’ve gotta be careful” Mark said.

“Careful? About what?”

“Did they bleed on you?” Dean asked.

“No…what the hell! No!”

“Doc, any way to know for sure? Any tests?” Sam asked.

“I’ve studied Beverly’s blood work backwards and forwards”

“My mom?” Duane asked, getting ready to panic.

“It took three hours for the virus to incubate. Sulfur didn’t appear in the blood until then, so…no, there’d be no way of knowing. Not until after Duane…turns” Dr. Lee explained.

“Dean, I’ve gotta talk to you. Now.” Sam said sternly.

Dean came over to Brit and I. “Make sure he doesn’t move, alright?” he whispered as he reached behind me and I got chills as he placed a hand on my waist.

But he did it to take out my gun and hand it to me. I took it and nodded. “Yea” He walked off with Sam into the waiting room.

“Mel, this is the vision…it’s happening” Brit murmured.

“I know” I sighed.

“Dean cant kill him. Not yet. We don’t know if he’s infected…”

“Brit, he’s going to do what he has to. The guy showed up out of nowhere and has a cut on his leg. His whole family was infected”

“But then we can just keep him tied up and wait and see…”

“I know, Brit. I know…” I said and then Dean came back into the doctor’s office and locked the door.

He made eye contact with Brittney…and then with me. He was going to do it. “Oh, no. You’re not gonna…no! I swear, it’s not in me!” Duane started crying. “Oh, God. We’re all gonna die” Pamela stated. “Maybe he’s telling the truth” Mark tried.

“No, he’s not him. Not anymore” Dean said, pointing the gun at Duane.

“Stop it! Ask her! Ask the doctor! It’s not in me!” he pleaded. Dean looked at the doctor quickly but kept the gun pointed at Duane. “I…I can’t tell” Dr. Lee said in almost a sad tone.

Brit stepped forward. “Dean, hold on. You don’t know if it’s in him”

“Brittney…”

“Don’t do this, Dean. Don’t make the vision come true”

“I have to…”

I stepped forward this time and I started walking closer to him. This was against what I was taught…yet it was what I was taught. If I said I believed in no violence…no killing…I would just be contradicting myself.

“Dean…you don’t have to…” I said, unsure of even myself.

Something didn’t feel right about all of this. My first instinct was to shoot this guy…but my second instinct…the stronger one…it was saying that maybe he isn’t infected.

“I’ve got no choice, Melissa”

And that’s what made me decide. No choice? That isn’t what my father taught me. I gave him a hard look as my eyebrows furrowed and he finally took his eyes off of Duane to look at me. His face lightened up but he tried to keep his stern look on. Duane was sobbing, preparing to be shot by tensing up and keeping his head down. Dean looked between Duane and me and I just kept my blue eyes on his green ones.

“Damn it” he muttered as his arms dropped and he looked down at the floor.

Duane let out a sigh of relief and I became less tense as well. Dean stared at me. I just nodded and walked over to the door, unlocking it, letting Sam in. He looked around and saw Duane wasn’t shot. He looked at Brittney and then at me. I just shook my head and Dean, Brit and I walked out to the waiting room as Sam brought out the supplies to make the explosives they talked about.

The four of us were silent. “You made Dean Winchester stop…you made him hesitate…” Brit whispered, smirking.

“What? Sam must have said something to him while they were talking…and you helped too…”

“Yes, but you were the deciding factor”

Dr. Lee came out to all of us. “It’s been over four hours. Duane’s blood is still clean. I don’t think he’s infected. I’d like to untie him, if that’s all right” she said.

I looked up but kept my head down as Sam and Dean exchanged a look. Dean glanced at me and then continued working on his explosive. Brit looked over at the doctor. “Yes” she answered and the doctor walked back into the office.

“You know I’m gonna ask you why” Sam finally said to Dean.

“Yeah, I know”

“So, Why? Why didn’t you do it?”

“We need more alcohol” was all he said.

Sam sighed and stood up. He gave me a look and gestured for me to follow him. “Go talk to him” I muttered to Brittney.

She looked over at Dean and walked over to him as Sam and I started to slow down our pace as we walked toward the office. “So how’d you do it? How’d you hypnotize him?”

“I did not hypnotize him. You’re his brother and what you say really does matter to him whether he shows it or not”

“Yea well he keeps looking at you as if…”

“As if nothing. He is not looking at me in any kind of way so shut your trap” I glared up at him.

He chuckled and opened the door for me so we walked into the office where Pamela was. “How you holding up, Pam?” I asked.

“Good. It’ll all be over soon” she said and Sam went into the cabinet drawer and I leaned against the wall. “In fact…I’ve been waiting for this the whole time”

“For what?” Sam asked.

“Well, to get you alone” she said and I was completely off guard when she threw me into a cabinet and it fell on top of me.

I kind of blacked out but I heard a lot of thumps. “Melissa!” Sam grunted.

When my vision became clear, I saw Pam on top of Sam with a knife in her hand. I didn’t know what came over me but some kind of adrenalin started pumping through me and before I knew it…I was on my feet and multiple loud shots filled the room. Pam fell over, dead, and Dean and Mark kicked the door open. Everyone came piling in. Everything was kind of a rush and a blur and then it all kind of hit me really fast and my mind started to process everything. I was the one shot Pam.

Everyone looked from Sam to me in shock. I didn’t say anything though. I just lowered my arms and went over to Sam with Dean. We went to help him up but Mark stopped us.

“She bled on him. He has the virus” he spoke and we all looked at each other in shock.

~~~~~~

Sam was sitting on the examination table as he held a bandage to his chest where the big cut was. “Doctor, check his wound again, would you?” Dean requested but she was frozen. “Doctor!” Brit yelled.

She kept trying to walk forward to Sam but I kept holding her back discreetly. “What does she need to examine it for? You saw what happened” Mark said.

“Did her blood actually enter your wound?” Dr. Lee asked. “Come on, of course it did!” Mark yelled.

“We don’t know that for sure!” I yelled back at him.

“We can’t take a chance!” Duane yelled. “You all know what we have to do” Mark said.

“Nobody is shooting my brother” Dean stated.

“He’s not gonna be your brother much longer. You said it yourself” Duane remarked.

“Nobody’s shooting anybody”

“You were gonna shoot me!” Duane claimed.

“If you don’t shut your pie hole I still might!” Dean snapped. “And if he still doesn’t, I might” I snapped. “And if they don’t, I will” Brit threatened as we all got in front of Sam, protecting him.

“Guys, they’re right. I’m infected. Just give me the gun and I’ll do it myself” Sam said.

“Forget it” Dean said.

“We are not going to let anyone shoot you, Sammy” Brit said.

“Brit, I’m not gonna become one of those things”

“Sam, we’ve still got some time…” I tried as well.

“Time for what? Look, I understand he’s your brother and your friend, and I’m sorry. I am” Mark said and took out his gun. “But I’ve gotta take care of this”

“I’m gonna say this one time. You make a move on him, you’ll be dead before you hit the ground, you understand me? Do I make myself clear?!” Dean yelled.

“Dean!” Sam grunted.

“Then what are we supposed to do?” Mark asked.

“Get the hell outta here, that’s what. Take my car. You’ve got the explosives, there’s an arsenal in there, you two go with them. You’ve got enough firepower to handle anything now'

“What about you? You’ll need some explosives, you got that truck” Dean looked at me. “No, we aren’t leaving either” Brit stated.

“Guys, no. No. Go with them. This is your only chance"

“No, you’re not gonna get rid of me that easy” Dean said.

“Well at least the girls should…”

“No, Sam” Brit said, sternly.

“Starting to get sick of us, Sammy?” I questioned.

“He’s right, come with us!” Mark tried again but Dean, Brit and I gave him a look. “Okay, it’s your funerals” he ended and he walked out with Dr. Lee and Duane and Dean followed them to walk them out.

Brit and I spun to look at Sam. “You know what I realized, we both called you Sammy…” I laughed a little. “We didn’t mean to…” Brit started.

“No…no. I’m glad you did in a way…just as long as no one else does it, I don’t want everyone to make a habit of it…”

Then Dean walked back in and shut the door as he was smiling…it was a forced smile though…like mine. Brit was barely trying. “I wish we had a deck of cards…” Dean started as he chuckled a little.

“Yea, or a foosball table or something” I added.

“Guys, don’t do this. Just get the hell out of here” Sam said and tears glazed over his eyes.

“No way” Brit said.

“Give me my gun…and leave. All of you” he ordered.

“For the last time, Sam…no” Dean said and then Sam slammed his fist down on the table and the tears started to flow down his cheeks.

“This is the dumbest thing you’ve ever done…” he said, looking at Dean.

“I don’t know about that. Remember that waitress in Tampa?” he grimaced.

“Dean, I’m sick. It’s over for me. It doesn’t have to be for you”

“No?”

“No, you can keep going”

“Who says I want to?”

“What?” Dean sat down on a chair.

“I’m tired, Sam. I’m tired of this job, this life. This weight on my shoulders, man, I’m tired of it”

“So, what? So, you’re just gonna give up? I mean, you’re just gonna lay down and die? Look, Dean, I know the stuff with Dad…”

“You’re wrong. It’s not about that. I mean, part of it is, sure, but…”

“What is it about?”

Dean hesitated. “You girls should leave….you still can” he said instead.

“Who says we want to?” Brit asked and they both looked at us.

I sighed and sat down on the floor, looking up at them as Brit walked over to sit next to Sam. “We’re tired too guys. I’m tired of this freakin life. Brit’s definitely tired of it…but we’re still in this if you guys are. We don’t want to keep going really if we’re not a team…” I spoke and the guys stayed silent.

Then there was a knock on the door. Dean got up to open it. We all saw Dr. Lee. “You better come see this” she said.

We all followed her to go outside where Mark and Duane stood. “There’s no one. Not anywhere. They’ve all just…vanished” she spoke. Dean was looking in a direction and then I looked too and we were looking at the word “Croatoan”.

~~~~~~

As morning came, we were all getting ready to leave. Sam still hadn’t had the disease after five hours. Dr. Lee said there was no more trace of the virus in any blood that she sampled, not even Mrs. Tanner’s.

“He’s gonna be fine. No signs of infection” she said.

We all looked at him. “Hey, don’t look at me. I’ve got no clue”

“I swear, I’m gonna lose sleep over this one. I mean, why here?” Dean started. “Why now? Where the hell did everybody go? It’s not like they just freakin melted” I added.

“Why was I immune?” Sam threw in.

“Yeah, you know what, that’s a good question” Dean said. “Maybe this is just the one that got away” Brit said. “I think you’re right” Dean agreed.

Then he looked at me and it was like I could read his mind saying ‘can I talk to you?’. I nodded. I gestured to Brit so she would head over to the truck and Sam took the hint as well because he walked with her over to the truck.

I faced him so my back was to the Impala. “Listen…I uh…I wanted to thank you…for sticking up for Sammy before…I thanked Brittney too…but…it…I mean, you shot someone to protect Sam and you have no idea how thankful I am that you did…just…thank you” he said and I laughed at his loss of words and he smiled.

“What’s wrong Winchester? You seem nervous” I laughed a little.

“Well…you make me nervous” he said.

I tried to see if there was any sign of joking but there wasn’t…he was serious. “I what?” I asked.

“You…make me nervous. You’re…not like other girls and…” He paused and I waited patiently. “Look, I’m trying this new thing okay. Sam said I should. I want to be able to give you compliments without you questioning why I’m complimenting you…”

“Dean…you’re not exactly making much sense…”

“Yea, see that’s one of the symptoms of nervousness” he said and I laughed lightly.

“Yes but I don’t understand why I make you nervous…and you want to give me compliments? I just don’t…”

But before I could continue…my lips were occupied with his. He came at me with such force, I backed up into the Impala as his hands cupped my face and he just…kissed me. I was shocked at first…but then I started to relax a little and kiss back as my hands went to his hair. It was…breath taking, yes…but that’s all I’m saying. I’m not the type to get into detail when I kiss someone…but this one was amazing.

We finally pulled away, both of us were breathing hard as he kept his forehead on mine. I looked up and saw he was staring into my eyes. “I think…you’re getting a little soft on me, Dean” I laughed a little and so did he.

“You don’t know how long I’ve wanted to do that” he whispered.

“You know…I’d love to do it again…but now I feel awkward because your brother and my sister are watching”

He looked up at them and so did I. Their jaws were dropped as they were grinning. But then Dean just gave them the finger and I laughed as he kissed me again.

~~~~~~

Brit and I were sitting in the truck as we followed the boys to a spot where the grass was very green, there were few trees and there was a wooden fence about six feet tall where you could overlook a river. The boys got out of the Impala and walked over to the fence and Sam got up on it so his back was to the river. I saw two beers in Sam’s hand and two were in Dean’s. The whole while over here, I was smiling…I knew it…and I knew Brit was staring but I just couldn’t stop.

“Okay, spill now. The suspense is killing me” she said.

“There’s nothing to spill”

“What? That kiss was…wow! Where did it come from?”

“I don’t know…” I shrugged. “It’s no big deal” I added, opening the door to get out.

“No big deal? Yea, okay…we aren’t done yet” she said as she got out as well.

“Oh of course we aren’t” I rolled my eyes.

I had my hands in the front pockets of my jeans making them ride down a little more so even more of my skin would show. Brit gasped. “You’re teasing him!” she hissed.

“I am not” I narrowed my eyes and took my hands out of my pockets so they came back up a little.

I got up on the fence, next to Sam as Brit did the same on the other side of him. Sam handed her a beer. “Forget it” Dean said lightly as he smiled at me and handed me a beer.

“No, I can’t. No way” Sam said.

“Come on, man, I thought we were all gonna die. You can’t hold that over me”

“No, no, no. You can’t pull that crap with me, man. You’re talking”

“And what if I don’t?”

“Then I guess I’ll just have to keep asking until you do” Dean paused.

“I don’t know, man. I just think maybe we oughta…go to the Grand Canyon” he said and that time, we all looked at him weirdly.

“What?” we all asked.

He got in front of Sam. “Yeah, you know, all this driving back and forth, cross-country. You know I’ve never been to the Grand Canyon? Or we could go to T.J. or Hollywood, see if we can bang Lindsay Lohan” he said in a lower tone to Sam.

I just rolled my eyes and laughed under my breath. We may have kissed but that doesn’t change him. I gave Brit an I told you so look.

“You’re not making any sense” Sam stated.

“I’m saying we should take a break from all this. Why do we gotta get stuck with all the responsibility, you know? Why can’t we live life a little bit?”

“Why are you saying all this?” Sam asked and he looked at me and then back at him. “No…well yea…but…” he said, answering some kind of brother telepathic question that Sam asked.

But, he didn’t finish, he just started walking away. We all jumped off the fence. “No, no, no. Dean, you’re my brother, all right? So, whatever weight you’re carrying…let me help a little bit”

Dean stopped and faced all of us but Sam stepped forward a little. “I can’t. I promised”

“Who?”

“Dad”

“What are you talking about?”

“Right before Dad died…he told me something. He told me something about you…you and Brittney” he said and looked at me as I felt a lump in my throat.

“What? Dean, what did he tell you?” Sam asked.

He looked at me, as if for help…but I couldn’t help him even if I wanted to…hes been hiding something from all of us…and it was time to tell us what it was.