Secrets Will Kill You

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Snow. Remember when you were young and naive and you didn’t have a care in the world? When winter came rolling around, you would look forward to snow for many reasons…most popular reason? It could you out of school of course! Then, it gave you the opportunity to hang out with your friends, go sledding, snow boarding…or just sit in, eating soup, drinking hot chocolate, watching classic Christmas shows. Remember when you were little and went to bed early just to wake up in the morning and see that Santa Claus visited your house and left some awesome presents? Remember that? I do…I remember looking forward to December even when it just turned January, I wanted December to come back. I was always…different. I had this thing for snow where I could just watch it fall from the sky for hours. It’s something I liked. Just watching the snow. I used to love Christmas. It wasn’t because of the presents though…it was because my family and Brit’s family would always get together and it was more than just nice…it was amusing. Her aunt hated my aunt but had a thing for my uncle and then Brit’s cousin would have a thing for me while my sister had a thing for her cousin. My cousin had a thing for Brit while she had her eyes set on one of my other cousins. I looked forward to Christmas because of the soap opera that laid out in front of us. Brit and I would just walk around together, watching some arguments go on between the two families…in the end though, it was just me, Brit, dad, mom, Lindsey and Brit’s parents that had a civilized dinner.

It was pretty dark out and as Sam and Brit were at the motel while Dean and I were walking side by side down a little path that was part of some kind nature park. There were some trees and an open area for kids to play and even a little frozen lake. It was really a beautiful sight. I was wearing my coat that showed off my curves as it stuck to me, keeping my body heat in and I was wearing a scarf as well. My dad brought it back to me one day when he came back from one of his trips. The snow had been falling for hours…it actually started yesterday so it was definitely piling up. Ever since Dean and I got back together (officially) it was like we just couldn’t be separated. I had my hands in my coat pockets and the two of us walked in silence. It wasn’t that awkward or uncomfortable. I just stared at the snow fall as I felt my lips twitch into a small smile and I felt his eyes on me. I was actually enjoying the moment though. This was more of Brittney’s scenery…the whole walk in the park thing…but throw in some snow…and I’ll walk by myself if I have to.

Dean got in front of me so he started to walk back ward as I continued to walk forward. He held a hand out to me and I raised my eye brows at him and eyed him. But, then, I took his hand and he got back to my side and we kept walking hand-in-hand. I was kind of jealous of Brittney in a way…she always had a thing for cheesy, cliché stuff like this…I’ve always wanted to like that stuff but I never could…and this right here? I never found someone who would actually walk with me through snow like this before…and I still haven’t. Ya know why I say that? Because I felt Dean’s hand slip from mine and when I turned to see what he was doing, I felt cold hit me in the face. The dickhead hit me with a friggin snow ball!

My jaw dropped as I wiped the snow off me and I gave him a hard stare. He just gave me that ‘yea I did it, what are you gonna do about it’ look.

“Ya know Mel…looking that mad cant be good for your pretty little face. You’ll get wrinkles…but with all that steam coming off you, it’ll melt the snow off you for sure” he smirked.

“You just cant let me have one moment can you” I glared at him as I bent down to clump some snow together.

“Now, what fun would that be?” he questioned.

I stood up, ready to throw my snowball but before it could even leave my hand, I felt another snowball clash into my face. Dean doubled over in laughter. I stared at him, wide eyed while getting the snow off me again. But, then I chuckled to myself.

“Okay, you are so done” I threatened and I chucked the snowball at him. He ducked.

“Missed” he grinned.

But, then I threw another quickly and it got him right in the face, I even saw some fly into his mouth. I started laughing as he rubbed his face with his hands. “Oh you’re gonna get it now” he threatened, raising his eyebrows at me with that smirk. Then it was war.

Snowballs were being thrown from his side and mine and I was laughing hard…it’s been a while since I laughed like this…it’s been a while since we’ve been able to just kill time with each other. Then, I squealed as I felt a hard wall fly into me. It was Dean's body. We both went tumbling to the ground in a snow bank on the side of the pathway we were on and we went rolling. I was laughing so hard, my sides were hurting. He grinned as he crawled over to me and hovered over me, looking down at me. I stared up at the silhouette of his face.

“I’m going to get you for that” I warned.

“I have no doubts…but ya know, if I wasn’t me, I might find your threats kind of offensive. You want to get rid of me sooner than planed?” he smirked as he brought his face closer to mine.

“That isn’t funny” I gave him a pointed look.

“Not even a little?” he asked.

“No…not even a little” I murmured as I cupped his face in my hands.

Then, in one swift motion, he leaned down and kissed me. I started to kiss back and we made out a little. I moved my head to the side to catch my breath but he continued to kiss down my neck. I laughed a little.

“Dean, I am not getting naked with you here, on the cold snow, in public” I put my hands in his hair.

“Why not? It’s something new…”

I felt him smirk against my neck. I laughed and pushed him off me. He laughed too as he laid on his back, beside me. I just stared up at the sky as the flakes came down on my face. I felt Dean looking at me but then he looked up as well.

“I had another dream the other night…it was of the past…first one I had in a while…” I started and I felt his eyes go back to me.

I had his attention…but I just kept staring up. “I think I was 15, you were 16...and my dad convinced yours to come by for the holidays…it was hard but he got him to agree to it. You guys showed up Christmas morning and you and I…we were fighting about something…I cant remember what it was about but it was pretty intense..."

I paused. "We were standing on my porch, outside and then, out of no where Sammy and Brit came over to us and started to smile at us. They looked up and then so did we…and there was a mistletoe hanging over our heads”

I laughed a little. “I gave all three of you a ‘yea right' look…and right when I opened my mouth to reject you out loud…you kissed me…and then it started to snow” I said and turned my head to look at him.

“Are your dreams always so vivid?” he asked me.

“Yea” I nodded. He nodded too. “Your dad really laughed a lot when him and my dad were hanging out…it’s nice” I stared back up at the sky.

“Do you think…you could draw a picture of it?” he asked, almost embarrassed.

I gave him a sympathetic look. “Yea…" I said lightly. "Yes" I said more confidently, to try and make him feel a little better. Then, he took my hand and helped me up and we continued walking.

I felt him continue to glance at me…and I felt him pick up the pace slightly. I turned my head to look at him and I saw the look he had in his eyes…I know that look. I started to pick up the pace as well. It turned into a little race between us as we reached the motel parking lot and headed for the Impala. We got in the back and he started to kiss me right away. I guess he felt me shiver because he leaned forward to put the heat on…I didn’t shiver from the cold though. Then…he put the radio on and Cant Fight This Feeeling Anymore by REO came on. We exchanged a look.

“I guess Sammy was messing with the radio” he said slowly. I pulled him to me.

“That’s okay…Brit got me to like this song…I really like this song…” I told him and kissed him.

I can't fight this feeling any longer.
And yet I'm still afraid to let it flow.
What started out as friendship,
Has grown stronger.
I only wish I had the strength to let it show.

“This could be our song” I joked, mockingly. He laughed. “If only we were like Sam and Brit” he said. “I’m happy we’re not” I smirked and our kissing became heated.

Dean’s POV

I know I made a joke about it when Mel joked about the song being our song…but it was our song. I couldn’t fight the way I felt about this girl…I felt different with her…and I loved having her around.

You're a candle in the window,
On a cold, dark winter's night.
And I'm getting closer than I ever thought I might.

And I can't fight this feeling anymore.
I've forgotten what I started fighting for.
It's time to bring this ship into the shore,
And throw away the oars, forever.

Why were we fighting in the first place to be with each other? None of it makes a lick of sense now that I think about it…but I wasn’t focused on anything else at the moment…I kind of had my mind occupied by this girl who was willing to stay with me…and she had me wrapped around her finger…she just couldn’t know that.

My POV

The next morning we all left right away because Sam and Brit found a gig. “So…where did you and Dean go last night? I woke up and saw you both were missing” Brit said.

“Nowhere…just went for a walk…”

“While it was snowing huh” she smirked.

I just smiled and rolled my eyes at her. “He wants to have a Christmas this year…”

“Do you know this will be our first Christmas with the boys?” she smiled at me.

“Yea…last year we didn’t know them well enough so you and I went bowling” I laughed.

“And then we sat in the motel room, bored out of our minds while watching old movies” Brit added. “It’s true” I laughed some more but then my laughing died down.

“It’ll be my first…and last Christmas with Dean” I realized.

The atmosphere just completely turned into a depressing one. “It needs to be good…I don’t want our first and last Christmas to be crappy” I stated.

“Okay…it’ll be hard though since we’ll be working on the case…”

“It’ll be over by Christmas”

“You do realize Christmas is in three days right?”

“Yea, I’m aware…what’s the case anyway?”

“Some guy was in a Santa get up, putting some presents around the tree and then he got pulled up the chimney” she said.

I glanced from her to the road and back at her, giving her a look. “Oh, I’m serious” she nodded.

~

We got to Michigan and there was absolutely no snow on the ground, which depressed me. We got to the house where investigation was going on and we pulled off our FBI agents drill and started to question the wife. She was crying most of the time. She didn’t see anything, there was no forced entry and she heard thumps on the roof. But, that was it. When Dean and I finished questioning her as Sam and Brit finished looking around, we all walked outside and headed back to the Impala and the truck.

“Agents!” Mrs. Walsh called after us so we turned to face her as she got to us. “The-the police said my husband might have been kidnapped”

“Could be” Dean nodded.

“Then why haven't the kidnappers called? Or-or-or demanded a ransom? It's three days 'til Christmas. What am I supposed to tell our daughter?” she asked and I gave her a sympathetic look.

“We’re very sorry Mrs. Walsh” I said, sincerely and we continued to walk away. “Find anything?” I asked.

Sam sighed. “Stockings, mistletoe…” Sam started and then he took something out of his pocket. “This” he said, putting it into my hand.

“A tooth?” I narrowed my eyes at it. “Umm ew” I said, throwing it into the air and Dean caught it as Brit snickered at me.

“Where was this?” Dean asked. I got a good look at it. It looked like a molar with the root missing and it had some dry blood on it.

“In the chimney”

“Chimney? No way a man fits up a chimney, it's too narrow”

“No way he fits up in one piece” Brit stated.

“Alright. So if dad went up the chimney…” Dean started.

“We need to find out what dragged him up there” I finished.

~~

We got to the motel and Sam got on his laptop as Brit was reading some book. I chilled on the bed, throwing a bouncy ball into the air and catching it. “So, was I right? Is it the serial-killing chimney sweep?” Dean asked and I sat up.

“…it's actually Dick van Dyke” Sam smirked.

“Who?”

“Mary Poppins”

“Who’s that?”.

“Oh God” I muttered, shaking my head. These guys have got to get new lines...and they had to get out more.

“You never heard of Mary Poppins?” Brit asked.

He just gave her a blank look. “Never mind” Sam shook his head.

Dean shrugged. “Turns out that Walsh is the second guy in town grabbed out of his house this month”

“Oh yeah?” Sam inquired.

“Yeah”

“The other guy get dragged up the chimney too?” Brit asked.

“Don't know. Witnesses said they heard a thump on the roof” Dean said and all four of us made a face.

“So what the hell are we dealing with?” I asked.

“Actually, I have an idea” Sam spoke.

“Yeah?”

“It's uh.. it's gonna sound crazy”

“What could you possibly say that sounds crazy to us?” Dean asked and we all stared at him, waiting for him to share.

“Umm…Evil Santa” he said and we all exchanged looks and then looked back at Sam.

“Yeah, that's crazy” Dean stated.

“Yea, babe,I mean…it does sound kind of crazy…” Brit said.

“Well, I mean, I'm just saying that there's some version of the anti-Claus in every culture” he said and we all walked over to him, looking over his shoulder at his computer screen and he printed out some pictures.

"You got Belsnickel, Krampus, Black Peter…” he handed us some pictures. “Whatever you want to call it, there's all sort of lore”

“Saying what?” I asked.

“Saying that back in the day Santa's brother went rogue. And now he shows up around Christmas time, but instead of bringing presents…he punishes the wicked"

“By hauling their ass up chimneys?” Dean questioned.

“For starters, yeah”

“So this is your theory, huh? Santa's shady brother?”

“Well, I…just saying, that's what the lore says”

“Santa doesn't have a brother. There's no Santa”

“Yeah, I know. You're the one who told me that in the first place, remember?”

“You told him that? I bet you did it when he was like 7 or 8 right? What the hell is wrong with you?” I hissed, hitting him in the stomach. He grunted and looked at Sam for a moment.

Then, Sam sighed and looked back at the screen and Dean glared at me. “Yeah, you know what? I could be wrong. I got to be wrong” Sam said, shutting the laptop.

“Maybe. Maybe not” Dean said and we all looked at him. “I did a little digging. Turns out both victims visited the same place before they got snatched”

“Where?” Brit asked.

~~~

So…we went to some kind of ‘Santa’s Village’ thing that sold trees and had a fat guy in a Santa suit. This was not a Christmas type place. It was outside, in the mud and the freezing cold and it was so dreary outside and there were small red houses around that didn’t only need a paint job. There were wooden deer cut outs and some trees had lights on them. I looked around at the dreary place. This was where the two last victims were before they died thuh…I wouldn’t be surprised if they caught some kind of disease just from the air.

“…it's a Christmas miracle. Hey, speaking of. We should have one this year” Dean said, looking at Sam

“Have one what?”

“A Christmas”

“I agree” I grinned.

“No thanks” Sam scoffed.

“No, we'll get a tree. A little Boston market. Just like when we were little” Dean continued.

“Dean, those weren't exactly Hallmark memories for me, you know”

“What are you talking about? We had some great Christmases”

“Whose childhood are you talking about?”

As they continued to argue, I pulled Brit away. “I wish Sam would want a Christmas like Dean wants it” I said.

“You know how you and Dean want one this year since it’s Dean’s last one?” she asked me as we stopped walking.

“Yea?”

“Well Sam doesn’t want one because it’s his last one” she stated.

“Well, he’s going to stop being such a Grinch and just have a damn Christmas with his brother, his girlfriend and his best friend, weather he likes it or not” I snapped.

We continued to walk. “Why is it that you’re grumpy and depressing all year around but then Christmas comes and you’re a different person who does nice things for people” she laughed lightly.

“Because I'm actually a nice person” I said, simply.

So, we found the perfect size Christmas tree to fit in the motel room. It was three feet tall but it was better than nothing…and it was what we could afford. Then as we continued to walk. I acted like I was talking to Brit and analyzing the tree in my hands as I started to slip some Christmas lights into the inside of my jacket. Brit looked at me in shock but she was still smiling.

“I saw that” Dean said, coming up from behind me.

“You saw nothing” I smiled.

“What’s with the tree…and the lights?” he chuckled lightly.

“The lights are for decoration. What, we cant be festive?” I sneered at him and he backed off a little. “And if you must know, I was just looking around at some trees…trying to help Brittney here get over how much she misses our traditional family Christmas trees…” I started, trying to make him believe me.

I hugged Brit as she started to play along and act like she was about to cry. “So sorry if I was trying to be a good friend” I glared.

“Brit…I uhh…I’m sorry…” he started as he rubbed the back of his neck.

“No…you should just go now. I need a minute” she fake-sobbed.

It was a little over-done but it did the job. Then he awkwardly turned to the right, then to the left and then went over to Sam.

Once he didn’t see us, I pulled her away from me. “Okay, I’ll get the stuff in the truck, be right back” I said and took off.

I went as fast as I could to get the tree and the lights to the truck and hide it in the bed of the truck and then I raced back to the others. “Where’d you go?” Dean asked.

“Nowhere” I held my breath so I wouldn’t show that I was breathing so hard from my sprint to the truck.

“I uhh is she okay now?” he whispered into my ear.

“Brittney? Yea…yea she’s fine now” I let out the air so it played off as if I sighed. “Umm what are we looking for again?” I asked, to quickly change the subject.

“Uhm...lore says that the anti-Claus will walk with a limp and smell like sweets” Sam said and we started walking around.

“Great. So we're looking for a pimp-Santa. Why the sweets?”

“Think about it, Dean. If you smell like candy the kids will come closer, you know?” Sam said and we all exchanged a look.

“That’s creepy” I commented. “How does this thing know who's been naughty and who's been nice?” Dean asked.

“I don't know.

We stopped walking as we came to a very small line of children and their parents where that fat guy in the Santa suit was sitting. The Santa did not look appealing at all. He just looked like some old perve. “Maybe we do” Dean said. Then a girl in an elf costume came walking up to us.

“Welcome to Santa's court. Can I escort your child to Santa?” she said a little to joyful to my liking…even with my Christmas mood going on.

“Uh…” Sam stammered.

“No. No. Uh.. But, actually my brother here…” Dean patted Sam’s shoulder. “It's been a lifelong dream of his” he said and I snickered as Brit tried to resist.

She looked at Sam, unsure of what to say. “Uh, sorry. No kids over…12?”

“No, he's just kidding. We only came here to watch” Sam said and I held my head down. Nice Sam.

Dean and Brit also shook their heads at him as she backed away, obviously disgusted. “Ew” she said and walked away and Brit smacked Sam upside the head.

“Uh…I-I didn't mean that we came here to w…” he started but stopped as he looked at Dean. “Thanks a lot, Dean. Thanks for that”

Then, Dean and I just started laughing as Brit rubbed Sam’s back, trying not to laugh. But, then we all looked over at Mr. Santa as he stood up and he was limping…he limped right by us, grunting and he did smell kind of like candy. We may have found our anti-Santa…but that meant we had to stake out tonight…and I barely got enough sleep as it is.