These Are the Lies I Have Created

“You take sugar in your coffee, right?” Gerard asked, setting the two coffees down on the counter and reached for the shaker of sugar. I grabbed his hand before he could pour some into my cup. “Uh, no,” I said and began dumping some cream into it. I stirred it up, “I don’t like sugar in my fucking coffee,” I said laughed; realizing after that probably made me sound like an asshole. “Thanks though,” I said and popped a lid over the cup. I blew into the small hole, hoping it would cool down soon before I fell asleep. Sleeping... dreaming. I looked at Gerard, a small smile on my face. He looked at me and laughed, his eyebrows furrowing. He looked nervous.

“What?” He asked, cradling the Starbucks cup in his hands. I shook my head.
“Nothing,” I nudged my head towards the door and followed him back outside. I felt like things should be moving faster than this, and by the way he was looking at me it seemed he felt the same way. I was stuck at a stand still, a draw. I didn’t know what to do, so I stood there and blew on my coffee. He lit up a cigarette. I coughed, my nose scrunching up as I tried to politely step away from him. He looked up, his eyes widening as if he hadn’t realized that his smoking wouldn’t bother me. He took the Marlboro out of his mouth.
“No,” I said, waving my hand, “Go ahead, it’s fine,” I shrugged.

I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to think of something to say. Instead, I took a sip of my coffee that I’d been trying in vain to try cool down. “Fuck!” I placed my hand to my mouth as the burning liquid sunk down my throat. I had burned my tongue. Gerard’s head snapped up, his hazel eyes were wide.

“Are you okay?” He looked concerned. His expression made me laugh.
“Yeah, I just fuckin’ burned my tongue,” I groaned.
“Oh... that’s fucking sucks,” he said with a small laugh.
I nodded, blowing on my coffee and taking another sip. This time it was less hot, only I couldn’t really taste it. I looked at Gerard. He’s probably the only man I’ve seen who can smoke and make it look sexy. “So,” I bounced on my toes, “Wanna go back to my hotel room?” Shit, that was a bad idea. Shannon and Tomo were probably still asleep, or getting ready. I could always kick them out. Gerard looked at me, his eyebrows furrowing again, “And do what?”

“Um,” I shrugged, “Have sex?”
Gerard’s eyes popped open, he was gawking at me. “Jared! We... we just met and-” he looked at his phone, “It’s only fucking eleven in the morning, we have to record soon!”
I laughed, “Uh, I was kidding-” Not really. “But just because it’s early never stopped me,” I smirked. He was still staring. I sighed with defeat, “Alright, c’mon you lil bastard. Lets go get to recording,” I said, beginning to walk towards the studio just up the block. Gerard’s hand swung near mine, and he gently took my hand in his. A small blush crept over my face and I smiled, giving his cold hand a squeeze. “You excited to record?”