Dark and Dirty Like You've Never Seen

On the drive back, Frank filled me in on the big things I wasn’t aware of along with some smaller, funnier things about him. I learned that though he was an only child. His mother had quite a few miscarriages before and after him. She had three before him when she decided to give up. While they were looking into adoption she found out that she was pregnant with little Frankie. She didn’t want to give her hopes up but with each passing trimester, she was thankful. He was born premature, weighing only three pounds, eight ounces. That might account for why he was so short today. He was their miracle child and they didn’t want to press their luck. If they were going to have another kid, then it would have been great, but Frank was enough for them.

I found out that Frank chose to live with his dad when his parents split. Not because he didn’t like his mom, but they didn’t want him to change schools and make new friends again and his dad’s house would be in the same school district.

On a lighter note, I learned that Mikey and Frank had technically been friends the longest out of everyone, meeting him in the third grade, but he ended up becoming best friends with Gerard sometime in middle school. Gerard and Frank became really close and at one point (under the influence of alcohol, supposedly) might have shared a kiss or two. He had finally got me to smile and even laugh a little at this point.

When we got back into town, I felt my stomach turn at the thought of going home. I looked over at Frank, a little nervous to bring up the subject again.

“Frank … are you taking me home or …” I trailed off. I wasn’t sure where else we would go, but I don’t think I want to be home just yet. He examined the clock on his car stereo and made an executive decision without my consent. He turned the opposite direction of my house. I looked down the road that would have taken me home then looked back at him. “Where are we going now?”

“My place.”

“Oh …” I didn’t complain. I didn’t want to go home, and I’d never been to his house before. There was no reason to protest for anywhere else. I didn’t actually care where we went. I was surprised to find that Frank only lived about half a mile from my house. He pulled up into the drive way of a one story, light blue house. It seemed pretty plain and simple. No lawn decorations or welcome mats. This must be his dad’s house. It doesn’t seem to radiate femininity. He slid out of the car grabbing his back pack and his jacket.

“You can just leave your stuff in here if you like.”

I smiled at him, throwing my purse back in the seat. I grabbed my jacket though, for whatever reason. We walked to the side of the house where there was another entrance way. We stepped in to a little area to hang coats and take your shoes off, though it looked like it wasn’t used much. I noticed Frank left his shoes on, so I made no attempt to take mine off. At this point, I could see there was a set of stairs to the basement right when you walked in, or you could walk up about three steps to your right and go into what looked like the kitchen. Frank walked up the stairs, and I followed close behind him. He gave me a quick tour of his house.

“Well, this is the kitchen where we attempt to make food.” He smirked at me and I couldn’t stop the giggle that escaped my lips. He continued walking through the house. “This is the dining room slash sitting room. I pretty much just crash here when I get out of school. This is the living room to your right and the front of the house and to your left is the hall with the bathroom and mine and my dad’s rooms. That’s about it. Oh, and the basement is just a laundry room and my practice room.”

At about that point, I heard the toilet flush down the hall and a door open. I found myself holding my breath waiting to meet his dad. I wasn’t sure why I was so nervous, but I forced myself to breathe again and attempt to act normal.

“Right on cue. Angela, this is my dad, Frank sr. Dad, Angela.”

A man standing about 5’8 with dark hair and glasses stepped into the living room. He smiled at me and I felt myself instantly smiling back. They look so much alike. They had the same mouth and eyes, both inviting and relaxed.

“Hello, Angela.” His voice was deep and fluid. I reached out and shook his extended hand. “Ouch, what happened there?” He motioned to my other hand in a cast. I felt my smile dissipate quickly as I racked my brain for an answer. Frank cut me off before I could say anything, and I took in a sharp breath, not wanting him to tell his dad what really happened.

“She broke it in gym. She fell and landed on it funny. She’s tough, though.” He smiled casually and bumped into my arm. I mustered up a half smile and nodded.

“Ow … sorry to hear that. I hate to be rude, but I was just getting ready to go do some laundry.”

“No, you’re fine.”

“Yeah, we were just going to chill in my room.” Frank started to walk towards the hall, but his dad stopped him.

“Alright. Just keep the door open.” He looked at Frank over his glasses. I felt my face flush while Frank just rolled his eyes.

“Got it.” We walked back to Frank’s room as his dad made his way to the basement. His room was at the very end of the hall. He turned the handle and threw the door open. His room was dark, even after he switched the light on. He had black curtains pulled shut over the window, hardly letting in any light. There were posters hung all over the walls of various bands. He had a queen sized bed in the back left corner of the room with a small nightstand next to it. There was a small TV on a table against the opposite wall, facing the bed. The right side of the room had a door hanging open, letting me get a glimpse of his closet and part of his wardrobe. He also had his acoustic guitar and two small amps against the wall. There were dirty clothes scattered on the floor. It’s pretty much what I thought it would look like.

“Sorry it’s so messy.”

“It’s fine.” I smiled as I walked slowly around his room, inspecting each poster. He haphazardly threw all his clothes from the floor into a hamper in the corner of the room. He moved the various magazines and other objects off his bed and threw them into a drawer in his night stand. He plopped down on the bed and patted the spot next to him. I walked over and sat on the bed next to him, finding that it was surprisingly comfy.

He grabbed the remote off his bed and switched the TV on to a random music station. The volume wasn’t very high, but judging by the way his eyes were boring into the side of my face I had a feeling we weren’t really going to watch TV anyway. I gulped and turned to look at him.

“Yes?”

“Your turn.”

“For?”

“I told you some stuff about me. Your turn. Tell me something about you.”

I looked down at his bed, suddenly fascinated with the pattern of his comforter. I picked at a loose thread on the bed, not saying anything right away. I felt his hand on top of mine, stopping me from messing with anything. I looked up at him through my lashes.

“Come on, Angela. What do I have to do? Why can’t you just trust that I won’t hurt you?”

“I know you won’t …” I said just above a whisper. I felt him place his hand under my chin and lift my face to meet his gaze. His thumb traced lightly over my chin, causing my body to shake slightly.

“I don’t want you to say anything you don’t feel comfortable with, but I want you to trust me. I want you to know that you don’t have to hide anything from me.” His hand slid up to my cheek and he was making small circles with his thumb, his ring and forefinger barely grazing my hair line. I felt myself leaning into his hand slightly, feeling lightheaded.

“I want to tell you, I just don’t know how.” My hand was itching to grasp his, to put it to my lips. I wanted to feel his calloused hands as I pressed my lips to them. I wanted to feel his hands all over me; his lips tracing paths all over my body. I felt my thighs and face heating up at the thought, my breathing quickening. I didn’t understand. How can I feel this way and have these thoughts when I look at him but I don’t trust him enough to share things with him. He isn’t aware of how dark my past is, and I’m terrified to let him in. What if he never talks to me again? There are things in my past that I have never shared with anyone, and I knew deep down I had found someone that I could trust wholeheartedly to tell this too … and it scared me to death. I have never before felt a connection with anyone to this degree. I hadn’t realized that I was staring at him, with who knows what kind of look in my eyes until his said my name again. I blushed and turned away from him. He placed his hands on either side of my face and made me look at him.

“Angela, please. I can’t think of any way to prove my trustworthiness to you. You just have to have faith in me. I don’t look like much, but I know that I’m willing to sacrifice a lot for the people I care about. Ever since the day I stumbled into that classroom…” He paused and shook his head. I felt my hand go up without thinking and grasp his. He let our locked hands fall into his lap and stared at them for a second then looked back up at me. He bit lightly at his lip ring and I saw that clouded look in his eyes making my entire body surge with electricity.

Not a second later, I processed that he had leaned forward and pressed his lips against mine. It was light and sweet at first. He pulled away from me, but I couldn’t hold back this hunger for him anymore. I felt myself turn my body on the bed to face him head on as I forcefully crashed my lips back into his. His free hand slid up into my hair, pulling it slightly. I went to deepen the kiss, but he tugged at my hair, causing me to lean my head back, exposing my neck. His lips latched onto my collar bone and I couldn’t stop the moan that escaped my lips. I was milliseconds for jumping onto him when, to my un-satisfaction, he pulled away from me. We both sat on the bed breathing heavily. He leaned forward pressing his forehead to mine.

“Jesus Angela. I can barely control myself around you. You don’t know how hard it is to not do this to you all the time. I haven’t known you very long, but that doesn’t change the fact that I’m crazy about you. You’ve been the only thing on my mind since the day I took you home for the first time.”

I was trying to understand what he was saying. Frank was crazy about me? I couldn’t imagine that this beautiful man in front of me was as crazy for me as I was for him. He continued while I tried to understand what he was saying.

“I know what I said back at the hospital might have scared you, and I’m sorry. I don’t know if I actually meant that, but it was just so natural to say to you. I don’t want you to say it back until you know for sure. Hell I don’t even know for sure but … I think I’m falling for you. I don’t want another day to go by without you knowing that someone cares about you. Because I do … a lot. I just want to know if you can say the same.”

“I … I do… I mean -- ” I could barely breath at this point let alone give a coherent answer.

“Oh gosh. Here goes nothing … Will you just go out with me already?”

“Yes… yes!” I couldn’t stop the laughter that escaped me. I thought my heart was going to burst. I jumped forward almost completely in his lap, and wrapped my arms around him. I felt him nuzzle his face into my hair and chuckle with me.

“Finally!”