Dark and Dirty Like You've Never Seen

We pulled up to the familiar yellow house with brown shutters. I stepped out of the car and Frank was quickly at my side, his hand casually hanging onto my waist as we made our way to the front door. Frank knocked and waited for a minute. We could hear the music blaring from the inside. After another moment, Frank assumed no one heard the knock and just let ourselves inside. Upon first walking into the house, I didn’t recognize anyone. After scouring the room, I saw Ray leaning on a counter in the other room. Frank grabbed my hand and led me through the crowd of people to the kitchen. Ray saw us and waved at us to come over to him. When we reached him, Frank shook Ray’s hand, pulling him into a bro hug and shouted over the music.

“Where’s Gerard?”

“Out in the garage. Nice to see you again Angela.”

I didn’t attempt to respond. I just smiled and nodded at him. Frank held tight to my hand as we made our way through the house to the back door. We stepped outside and I recognized the garage where I had meet Ray and Gerard for the first time. It was much quieter out here. There was only a few people in the garage, smoking and discussing various things. Gerard saw Frank and jumped up off the couch, almost losing the cigarette out of his mouth.

“You made it!” Gerard yelled, practically tackling him in a bear hug. I stepped back and laughed watching Frank trying to push him off. Gerard then saw me standing behind them and finally climbed off of Frank. “You brought her back… erm …. Amber?”

“Angela.” I corrected.

“I’m sorry. I’m super drunk right now.

“What’s the occasion?” Frank asked, keeping a hand on Gerard’s shoulder to hold him steady.

“Why do I need an occasion? It’s Friday night, the parents aren’t home, and you kids don’t have school tomorrow. That’s why I don’t understand why you’re not drunk yet!”

“We just got here.” Frank replied with a chuckle.

“Well you better catch up.” Gerard replied happily. He reached in his pocket, pulling out a pack of cigarettes and shoved one in Frank’s mouth. “Have a smoke with me. Amy?” He pulled out another one and offered it to me.

“It’s Angela, and I don’t smoke.”

“I hope to God you drink.”

“Yeah … a little.”

“A little? Well tonight we’re drinking a lot.”

I smiled and managed a nervous laugh. I had wine one time with Lacy. Her dad is a big wine-o and we snuck into his liquor cabinet once and split a bottle. I went home with a stomach ache and had to give my parents a lame ass excuse and tell them I was throwing up “grape juice”.

Frank started to light the cigarette but gave me a quick glance. He pulled the stick out of his mouth and leaned over to me. “Do you mind if I smoke? I’ve never done it in front of you and I’d feel bad …”

“No, I don’t mind.” I thought about the way he smells with the mixture of cologne and stale cigarettes and it made me smile. He returned my smile with his goofy grin and leaned over and kissed me gently just below my ear lobe, causing me to shiver.

“Hold the motha fuckin’ phone. You said you guys weren’t boning?”

“Gerard!” Frank rolled his eyes. I bit my lip and felt my face heat up as I thought back to the first time Gerard met me and the conversation him and Frank had before we went to the coffee shop. “Look, I asked her out today. She’s my girlfriend.”

“Well congradu-fucking-lations. All the more reason to celebrate!” Gerard wrapped his arms around both of our shoulders and led us outside.

We sat on a bench outside of the garage. Frank and Gerard blazed up their cigarettes and made casual conversation. I watched as Frank put the cig in between his lips, inhaling deeply and holding it in before letting the smoke escape into the night sky. Some of the smoke lingered, creating ribbons around us. I continued to gaze at him as he repeated this mantra. I didn’t realize I was licking my lips while I watched him do this until Gerard leaned over and spoke directly to me.

“Have you ever smoked before?”

I shot my gaze in his direction before letting it fall to my feet. “Oh … n-no.”

“You wanna try?”

I began to shake my head. I mean, I wanted to try it but I was afraid of choking and looking like an idiot in front of them. Frank noticed my hesitation and leaned closer to me.

“Here, open your mouth a little.” I hesitated before parting my lips slightly. He brought his cigarette back up to his lips, taking a long drag. He held it in and turned to face me again. “Now breathe in slowly.” His face was a mere inch from mine. I did as he said. As I began to inhale, he allowed the smoke to pour out of his mouth. I watched as it made a sort of tunnel between our lips, none of it escaping into the air. I felt it slide down my throat, burning just slightly, and filling my lungs. Just as the last bit left his mouth he pushed his lips to mine trapping the smoke. I fidgeted a moment but gave into him reluctantly. I felt the smoke leave through my nostrils causing my nose to itch slightly. He detached his lips from mine, letting me blow out the rest of the smoke. I took in a deep breath and expected a coughing fit, but I was ok. My heavy breathing could probably be accounted toward how hot that exchange was. My lusty stare was interrupted when I heard Gerard’s voice once more.

“Well that was hot as fuck. You’ve never done that with me, Frankie!” He pouted and playfully punched Franks arm. Frank just laughed and sat back against the bench. I also leaned against the bench and stared out into the cloudless sky.

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I stumbled into the kitchen with yet another empty bottle. I chucked it into the trash can causing it to shatter along with other bottles. A slight hiccup escaped me and I giggled as I made my way to the fridge. I opened it and retrieved a random bottle, not caring about the contents. I popped off the lid and took a swig of it. It burned like hell but I couldn’t taste anything at this point. Where’s Frank? We had ended up heading inside and Gerard wanted me to start my “drinking career” off right. We took shots. Lots and lots of shots. Everything from Jim Beam, to Captain Morgan, to Jaeger. They taught me some drinking games as well. The last I remember seeing Frank was in the middle of beer pong when he stumbled off to the bathroom. I was starting to realize I didn’t recognize anyone around me. I made my way through the house looking for a familiar face, occasionally sipping off the bottle in my hand. I found myself in the back yard. How did I get here? I thought I saw Gerard and made off in that direction. I fell against someone and looked up at them innocently. He had glasses and mousy brown hair.

“Have you s-s … seen Frank … or Ge … Ge … Gee?” I decided to shorten his name due to my slurred speech.

“Gerard’s around the side of the garage. Who are you?”

“Mmmm … Angela.”

“Oh, you’re Angela. I’m Gerard’s brother, Mikey. I heard about you.”

I just smiled and nodded. I didn’t really know what to say to that. “I’ll catch ya later … Mikey?”

“Yeah.” He laughed, confirming that I had gotten his name right. I turned around and made my way around the garage. I saw Gerard sitting up against the wall smoking. I kept one hand on the garage as I made my way over to him. I plopped down next to him, causing him to jump slightly. I reached over and pulled the cigarette out of his mouth and placed it between my own lips, taking a long drag. I turned my head to the sky and let it roll out of my mouth, laughing all the while. I turned to look at Gerard and he had narrowed his eyes on me causing me to cease my laughter. He brought his hands up to the sides of my face and concentrated hard on me. I didn’t understand what was happening, but I couldn’t stop him.

“Vee?” He looked like he was about to cry. I just shook my head slightly.

“No … it’s Angela. You weren’t even close this time.” I let out another laugh and took a nice swig from the bottle I had. He sat and stared at me dumbfounded and I heard him mumbling next to me.

“You look just like her …”

I had no idea what he was talking about and right now I didn’t care. I let my head fall on his shoulders and shut my eyes tight.

“Gerard … make it stop.”

“What, baby?”

“The world; it’s spinning SO fast.” I didn’t like that he called me that, but my brain wasn’t functioning properly. I felt him wrap his arm around my shoulder and pull me closer to him. I thought for a minute that I heard my name but I didn’t dare open my eyes. I was just starting to feel better. That’s when I heard my name for sure this time. I slowly opened my eyes and looked in that direction. I saw a blurred vision of Frank walking over to me.

“Angela, I’ve been looking everywhere for you. Have you been back here this whole time?”

“Nope. Just got here.”

“How drunk are you?”

“I don’t know. I hope not too much. I’ve never … never drank before. Am I going to be ok-k?”

Frank leaned down and took the bottle from my hands.

“Jesus, who let you have a bottle of tequila?”

“Me. I did.” I smiled lazily and pointed at my nose. He sighed and sat the bottle on the ground. He proceeded to pick me up in his arms and hug me to his chest.

“We need to get home. Gerard, thanks for watching her for me. I’ll call you tomorrow, okay?”

Gerard just picked up the bottle and tilted it toward us before taking a drink off of it. Frank carried me to his car and sat me gently in the passenger’s seat. I heard his door shut and the engine kick on. I tried to look out the window but felt my stomach turn. I quickly closed my eyes and sighed.

“Frank, who’s Vee?” There was a moment of silence before he answered. I almost thought he didn’t hear me.

“Who was talking about her?” his voice seemed strained.

“Gerard. He called me Vee. He said something like I looked just like her.” There was another long pause. “Frank?”

“He’s drunk. I don’t know what he was talking about.” He didn’t say anything else and I didn’t press the issue anymore. I just wanted to go home and go to bed.