Dark and Dirty Like You've Never Seen

I shifted uncomfortably on my feet as Gerard, Frank, Ray, and I stood in line at the coffee shop. I kept glancing at Gerard and feeling my stomach start to flip irrationally. I tried to control my erratic behavior and focus on my feet planted firmly on the tile. I saw Frank out of the corner of my eye, watching me fidget. He leaned back and whispered in my ear.
“Is everything ok?”
I nodded slightly, swallowing the lump in my throat. I saw his face soften, obviously not buying it.
“Tell me what you want. I’ll get it so you can sit down.”
“Oh, um …” I fumbled around in my purse for my wallet while I thought of what I wanted. I felt his hand on my arm, stopping me from retrieving any money.
“I said I’d get it.” He smiled at me until I sighed, letting my wallet fall back into my purse.
“I’ll just take a white tea. Something fruity, preferably.”
“Alright. You can pick a table. I’ll come find you.”
I nodded, turning to find a cozy table to sit at. I noticed Gerard had turned his ear to us, listening in on the conversation. I felt a bit of anger boil inside of me. Why can’t he mind his own business? I thought to myself, then the memory of earlier surfaced, washing away my anger and quickly replacing it with embarrassment. I felt my face burn as I grabbed an open table by the door. I think I subconsciously wanted to be close to an escape route. I couldn’t escape from the conversation I had heard, though. I thumbed a loose thread on my purse, mulling over the idea. I really had no reason to be angry at Gerard.
It’s then I realized that I wasn’t angry. I was using my anger to mask the true emotion I was feeling – for Frank. I wanted to feel his hand on mine again. I wanted to feel his arms wrapped around me, his lips pressed to mine. I felt my head swarm with the idea of Frank and I. Together. Us. I wasn’t angry at Gerard for making that assumption, I was embarrassed at the fact that maybe he didn’t think we were, but he could see the look on my face and knew how I felt. Did he know how I felt? That’s silly; he’s not a mind reader I thought to myself. My stomach clenched. My feelings for Frank were incredibly strong. How can that be? I only just met him a few days ago. The moment I locked eyes with his the day he stumbled through the door, I felt something; Was it lust? Infatuation? Maybe more. I couldn’t believe how far I’d let myself fall for a guy I knew so little about. I bit on my bottom lip and ripped the piece of thread off my bag. Get ahold of yourself, Angela!
I straightened up in my chair and sat my bag on the floor next to my feet. I folded my hands together on top of the table and looked up at the line to see how they were progressing. They were headed toward the table, drinks in hand. I looked across all their faces before lingering on Frank’s. He smiled slowly at me, his lip ring glinting against the soft lighting. I felt my heart race and my palms began to feel clammy. I let out a slow, steady breath and felt my mouth pull up into a just as inviting smile. He sat the cup down in front of me before taking the seat next to me, Gerard and Ray sitting opposite of us. Frank casually threw his arm around my shoulder as he took a sip off his drink. He winced a little, probably from burning his tongue, but kept his composure. I smiled, taking the lid off of my cup, and placing the tea bag on it. I felt the heat of his arm as it grazed my back. I bit my lip and looked down in my lap. I had a sudden urge to rest my hand on his leg. I shot my head back up quickly and kept my hands busy by playing with the sleeve of my cup. Gerard was the first to speak up.
“So, how did you guys meet?” He nodded toward me and Frank. We looked at each other. I felt my face start to heat up, but, as usual, Frank was as calm as a cucumber. He gave me a wink before turning back to Gerard.
“St. Pat’s. We had science together.”
“Oh that’s right. You transferred. How’s that going? That’s gotta suck being your senior year and all.” Ray piped up. It was the most I had heard him say all day.
“Eh, it’s not horrible.”
I felt his hand slid from the chair to my shoulder, giving it a quick squeeze. I looked at him from my peripheral, but he kept his gaze steadily forward.
“Besides, it was nice to finally get away from … a few people.” He paused, deciding on something else to say in place of what he was going to say. My eyebrows arched. This time I turned to look at him.
“What was wrong with your last school?” I finally found my voice and piped up.
“He hasn’t told you about the psycho bitch yet?” Gerard asked, perking up. I swallowed and shook my head. I saw a dangerous flicker of light in Gerard’s eyes as he gave Frank a quick look.
“There’s nothing to tell. Just this crazy girl …” Frank said nonchalantly.
“You mean your ex? And there’s plenty to tell. She – oof!” Gerard was cut off by a swift kick to his leg from Frank.
“Yeah, she’s my ex, but there’s nothing to tell. We dated for a while, it wasn’t working, I tried to break up with her and she went nuts. Then I left. End of story.” Frank finalized the whole topic. The table was quite for a minute. I shifted uncomfortably, facing myself closer to the door. At this point Frank’s hand had slid off my shoulder and under the table, leaving the spot where he touched me cold. I didn’t think anyone was going to be able to break the tension filled silence, but Gerard had already composed himself again and continued as if the exchange didn’t even happen.
“Well, besides psycho bitch, there were a lot of other douche bags at that school. From what Mikey tells me, it hasn’t changed all that much. So, Angela, have you always gone to St. Pat’s?”
I sipped my tea before I answered. “No. I used to go to the public school but my parents thought I needed a change of scenery. They said my friends were bad influences.”
“That blows.”
“Not really. I mean, I still see my friends, but in the end it was better. St. Pat’s has a no bullying policy. The public schools weren’t so generous.”
“You were bullied?” Frank asked, calm and collected once again.
“Yeah, I mean not like getting my ass kicked everyday “mean”, but they would say a lot of shit. I just learned to ignore it.”
“Well I wouldn’t bully you, if it means anything.” Gerard said, tipping his cup to me. I guess he’s attempting to redeem himself.
“Well thanks for the information. I’ll remember that.”
“Yeah, anyone who does is gonna be one unlucky asshole” Ray piped up, smiling at me. Silent but deadly I thought to myself and smiled back. Maybe these guys aren’t so bad after all. I felt myself ease into my seat.
We chatted for an hour or so, getting to know each other. I found out Mikey is Gerards younger brother. Bob, whom I haven’t met yet, is from Chicago, which is where he’s at right now. Frank is an only child, and was bullied at school, too. His parents divorced when he was ten years old. He lives with his dad right now, visiting his mom’s house every weekend. I told them about my old school and my friend Lacy. I was about to the bottom of my tea when Gerard stood up and stretched.
“Well, it was fun chatting, but I work at 5:30.”
I looked down at my phone. It was almost 5 now. Shit. My parents were probably going to be mad I didn’t tell them where I was going. Everyone else stood up and gathered their things, throwing their cups in the trash. We made our way back out the car, and drove Gerard back to his house. We pulled up to the front of the house to let Gerard out.
“Hey, Ray, You need a ride home?”
“Nah, my cars just parked around back.”
“Alright man, let me know when we’re meeting again, ok?”
Gerard gave him the thumbs up before walking into the front door, Ray trailing behind. Frank put the car back in gear, and made his way to my house. It was quite for a minute or two after dropping them off before I broke the silence.
“They’re not that bad.”
“Hmm, what?” Frank glanced over at me.
“Your friends. They didn’t seem so bad.”
“Oh, yeah. They were pretty chill today; I just thought you were going to see us practice. I wasn’t sure what kind of music you listened to or if you would like it.”
“I listen to just about everything. I’m sure I would have.”
“Well … I mean, you’re always welcome to the next one we have, you know if you want to.”
I looked over at Frank and smiled. He sat slouched a little in his seat, one arm out the window, tapping the hood of the car. The wind was blowing his hair in different directions, giving him a messy look. He started to bite on his lip, messing with his lip ring. I swallowed and looked away from him quickly. He’s just so damn hot, it’s driving me insane. I wanted so bad to bite on that lip ring. My face burned and I turned to look out the window.
“If you’re not interested, I understand.”
“Oh, no I’d love to. Sorry, I was just thinking.” Crap, I forgot he asked me a question.
“About what?”
Oh Jesus. “Oh, … uh, just about my parents. I think they’re going to be pissed I didn’t come straight home.”
“You know, if you need me, all you have to do is call. I’ll be here, or where ever you need me, as fast as I can. Here.” He took my phone, and punched his number in, saving it. I took it back, feeling my hand graze his in the process. “Please, tell me you’ll call me.”
“I will… Can I ask you a question? Why are you doing this?”
“Doing what?”
“Everything. The rides, buying me tea, offering to help me. Why? You barely know me.”
“Because you never said no.” His face was starting to turn pink. “I can’t let you walk out of my car knowing that something bad might happen to you. I feel like it’s partially my fault if I don’t do something to help.”
“But you don’t have to. You don’t have to get involved.” My heart was racing now. I started to wring my hands together. At this point, we had pulled up in front of my house. I sat looking in my lap.
“But I am. I will, only if you want me to. I can’t sit by and watch this happen to you.” He grabbed my wrist and flipped it over, showing me the bruise. I clenched my jaws and looked up at him. I felt my other hand slid up, grabbing his hand.
“I want you to.” I tried to lock eyes with him, but his gaze was so intense. I let go of him and began to get out of the car. “I have to go.” I walked around to the trunk of his car. He turned off the engine, stepping out of the car and coming back to the trunk with me. He turned the key, popping it open. I reached in and grabbed my things. “Thanks for the ride.” I said, shutting the trunk and turning away. I took one step before I felt his hand on my wrist pulling me back. I turned around and felt his other hand grab onto my waist, pulling me against him. Before I had time to process what was happening, I felt his lips crash into mine. My breathing stopped for a moment. My eyes fluttered shut as I felt myself lean into him. My hands slid up to his chest and to the side of his face. I became lightheaded, my cheeks flushed completely. I don’t know how long it lasted, but I felt him pull slowly away from me, his breath washing over my face. He was just centimeters from my face. I didn’t want to move. I wanted to be here, wrapped up in him. I was trying to find the words, anything to say but I was stunned. He leaned forward one more time, kissing me right below my ear.
“I want you to, too.” He whispered before pulling away from me. I stood there for a moment before turning away and walked up my walk way. I heard his car roar back to life before taking off down the street. I turned to see him drive around the corner. I bit my bottom lip as I continued up to the house.
What just happened?