Dark and Dirty Like You've Never Seen

I sat curled up in my bed under the covers. The tears had already dried on my face leaving my skin itchy and hard. I was sweating under my comforter, but I didn’t want to come out. How long had I been under here? I reached down for my phone. The light was so bright compared to my dark room I had to squint my eyes. It was almost nine. I had been under here for almost three hours. My stomach hurt. I was hungry, but I just wanted to throw up. I decided to finally throw off my covers. The cool air hit me in icy comfort. My body shivered as the sweat began to cool me down. I got up and walked over to my closet flipping on the light. I pushed the door over to look in the mirror at myself. The light from the closet showed me the mess I was. Still in my uniform, my clothes were wrinkled and folded from laying on them for so long. My hair was tangled and sticking up in different directions, some of it to my face from the dried tears. I saved the worst for last. I slowly began to unbutton my shirt. I shrugged it off and finally got the first sight of the after math of the fight between my dad and me. A bruise on my shoulder from where I was drug upstairs, and a slight red mark on my chest from being pushed into my room before the door was slammed in my face. I cringed and felt my eyes begin to brim again. I didn’t want to cry; my face hurt and was rubbed raw.

I pulled my shirt back on haphazardly buttoning it back up. I slowly opened my door and peeked my head out. I pulled it opened the rest of the way, stepping out into the hall. I made my way down to the bathroom. I closed the door, turning on the light. I started the water before peeling off my clothes. I stepped in slowly, letting the water rinse of the sweat and shame. My eyes began to prick again with tears. I held them back the best I could. I was sick of crying over this. It’s not like I don’t know its coming. I wanted so badly to just melt and run down the drain with the rest of the water. I don’t want to be here but I know I can’t leave. I stay in the shower until the water starts to turn cold. I make my way back to my room wrapped tightly in a towel, my clothes clutched in my hands. I throw my uniform in the corner with the rest of my clothes that need washed before falling down on my bed. I roll over and see my phone sitting on my nightstand. I grab it and hit the home button, turning on the screen. I flip through my contacts until I come to Franks name. I hesitate over his name before hitting the text button. I stare at the blank screen, waiting for me to ask for help, ask him to come over and save me. From what? The damage is already done. What can he do? I let my fingers run along the screen, typing absent mindedly. I sent a simple message, “Hey. It’s Angela.” I held the phone waiting for a response. Moments later it vibrates back.

“Hey. What’s up?”

I feel my lips pull up into a smile. They began to surge with heat thinking of the contact we shared early that day. I ran my tongue over them gently, contemplating my next text.

“I just wanted to make sure it was you.”

“Of course it’s me. Is everything ok?”

I felt my body tremble. Everything is ok now. Do I tell him about earlier?

“Everything’s fine. I just wanted to say thanks for hanging out with me today. It was nice ”

“You’re welcome… I didn’t weird you out did I?”

I thought back to his lips pressed to mine, his hands on my waist and in my hair. I felt a rush run through my body longing to touch him again. My skin became suddenly ultrasensitive to the towel rubbing against my skin. I shifted, causing my body to shiver at the touch of soft cotton moving along my arms; my legs; my thighs… My face heated at the thought when my phone vibrated again.

“I’m sorry. I just couldn’t help myself. You’re just … I’m sorry. It won’t happen again.”

“No, I’m sorry. I didn’t mind. It just surprised me, that’s all. I mean … in a good way.”

“Oh. Good. I’ll try not to let it happen again ..”

I felt my smile drop a little. I started to text him back to tell him that I really enjoyed it but my phone buzzed again.

“So do you want a ride to school tomorrow?”

Well the moment was lost. I don’t know how I’ll be able to bring that up again. I sighed and replied to his new message. “Yeah. That’d be nice  7:30 ok?”

“Ughhh .. not that I enjoy 7:30, but yeah that’ll work haha ”

“Alright, well I’ll see you in the morning. Night Frank”

“Goodnight Angel”

I felt my face heat up. Angel? I felt that familiar warming sensation running through my body. I wasn’t sure what or how to reply to that, but my phone vibrated again.

“Angela* Sorry .. I feel like a super creep now :/”

“No you’re fine. It was nice ” I felt stupid for a moment. He just said he was sorry for kissing me. Why would I think he meant to send that to me? I groaned before setting my alarm and finally passing out.

I woke up the next morning a little after six. I had showered so late the night before that I didn’t really feel like taking another one. I rolled over and grabbed my phone off the night stand. I had a text from Frank. He must have sent it after I fell asleep.

“Alright then, Angel ;) See you in the A.M.”

I couldn’t stop the grin spreading over my face. Today has already started off better than I anticipated. I hopped out of my bed and made my way downstairs to the kitchen. I wasn’t worried about running into my dad. I’m sure he’s still passed out. I rummaged through the cabinets and the fridge until deciding on a bowl of oatmeal. I sat by myself in the cold kitchen eating my breakfast, letting it warm me from the inside out. I finished and cleaned my bowl and spoon before returning them to their designated spots.

I still had about 45 minutes before Frank would be heading over here to pick me up. I figured I would get dressed now and maybe have some time to enjoy a cup of coffee on the back patio before he got here. I made my way quietly back upstairs and into my room. I opened my closet and pulled out my last clean school shirt and tie. After careful debate, I decided on going with the pleated plaid skirt instead of my usual khaki Bermuda shorts. After getting dressed I stood in the mirror and looked at myself. I pulled my hair up into its usual messy bun but found myself blushing at my reflection. It kind of looks like I’m going for sexy teacher or something. I pulled it out of the bun and ran my brush through it. Maybe I’m just thinking too much about it. I put it back in the messy bun and smiled to myself. Besides, maybe this will make him be not-so-sorry about that kiss yesterday. I put on some foundation and a thin coating of eyeliner before settling on my appearance.

I checked my phone again. Well, shit. That took longer than expected. He should be here any minute. I gathered up my books and threw them in my bag before making my way downstairs. I carefully opened the front door so it wouldn’t make any noise and shut it quietly behind me. I turned toward the road just in time to see Frank’s car pulling up. I smiled at him before shooting my gaze down to my feet. I suddenly felt ridiculous. He’s going to think I dressed like this on purpose. Well … I mean I kind of did. Whatever, the point is I started to regret my “Ha! Take that!” attitude this morning. I made my way to his car but before I reached the door, he jumped out and ran around to my side opening it for me.

“Thanks”. I grinned at him before setting my stuff in the back seat and climbing in. He shut the door and made his way back to his side of the car. He climbed in, pulling on his seat belt along with him. I was already strapped in and ready for the ride. He looked over at me and I saw his gaze travel downward. His eyes shot back up to mine and he smiled sheepishly before turning his gaze to the road. He put the car into gear and began to pull away from my house.

“You look nice this morning” he said after clearing his throat. I looked over at him from the corner of my eye and saw the slightest shade of pink on his cheeks. I bit my lip to stop the ear to ear grin that was threatening to escape.

“Thank you.” I slouched down in my seat slightly and rolled down the window. We drove the rest of the way to school with the radio on low and enjoy the air of the early morning with our windows down. I stole glances of him when he seemed to be lost in his own world. He seemed so calm; like there was nothing in the world at this moment that could bother him. I felt almost envious. What does it feel like to be so chill and laid back all the time? I always feel so stressed, whether it is something happening now or something I know I’m going to have to deal with later.

We pulled into the school parking lot before I could think any more on the subject. I retrieved my bag from the back seat grabbing Franks along with it and handed it to him. As I turned to give him the bag I saw his eyes dart up to mine, his face turning flush. Was he just checking out my ass? Why yes he was! My subconscious squealed with delight. I smiled innocently before tossing him his bag and started walking up to the school. After a brief second, I heard his feet shuffling to catch up with mine. He had completely composed himself again and smiled at me, bumping into my arm playfully. I chuckled at him as I continued up to the side doors of the school. I could feel the heat of Frank’s arm brushing so close to mine. I felt my lips start to turn upward. I felt that pulling feeling again in my stomach. It was a good feeling. All of a sudden, a rush of adrenaline ran through my veins. Realization hit that I had control of this situation. He was caught off guard and left helpless to my pleated skirt and feminine wiles. Finally the tables have turned. I have the effect on him that he has had on me since he walked through that classroom door. I swallowed before reaching my hand out and brushing it against his. I saw him turn towards me but I kept my face forward. He turned to look back to the school when I did it again. He looked at me and smiled.

“Are you trying to hold my hand?”

“Maybe …” I smiled keeping my gaze straight ahead.

He shook his head, pulling his backpack further up on his shoulders. I bit my lip and before I lost my drive, I grabbed his hand and pulled him along the side of the building behind the bushes right outside the doors.

“Whoa, Angela. What …”

I didn’t give him a chance to finish his sentence or process what was going on. I don’t think I let myself process either. I laced my fingers through his belt loops, pulling his hips to mine before crashing my lips into his. I shut my eyes tight, terrified of the look I was going to find on his face. After a long second, he caught up to what was going on. I felt his hands move to my sides pulling me towards him so his body was completely flush to mine. Just as he was starting to deepen the kiss, I pulled away. I took in a deep breath, trying not to sound shaky. His eyes were completely clouded over as he stared down at me, his breathing labored.

“I hope you don’t regret that one.” I smirked as I stepped out of his arms. I started to walk back to the doors to the school. Before exiting the bushes, I turned back and looked at him. “See you in class”. I turned away from his stunned face and marched back up to the school with a new found confidence. On the outside, I was walking with my head a little higher, but on the inside my subconscious was also standing there dumbfounded asking myself, “Who are you, and what have you done with Angela?” That’s a good question …