I Love Your Switchblade Attitude

“Why do I have to do this, again?”

A gust of wind blew through the open window as Colie picked up the telephone book, examining the glossy cover.

Harley, who sat cross-legged with her back against the bed, groaned in exasperation. In one hand, Harley cradled the portable phone as though it was a small child, and with the other, she reached for the thick book in Colie’s hand.

Colie passed the book to her best friend, before sitting down next to her on the deep purple carpet.

“Be-cause,” Colie drawled, rolling her eyes as she had already repeated her answer a million times, “Lisa wants you to prove that you actually are getting laid, you know you want to call Max in the first place and because you need someone to be with to get your mind off of Alex.”

“I’m don’t th—”

Colie cut her off, “Yeah, yeah.” She laughed, “You don’t think about Alex and you don’t need somebody. Whatever. Just save your energy and dial your future boyfriend’s number already.”

Harley scoffed, but obliged and pulled open the book. The stiff sheets listed hundreds of numbers in only a few pages, and Harley felt overwhelmed as she stared at the numbers. Remembering that the book went in alphabetical order, Harley flipped to the ‘P’ section of the phonebook. As she scrolled through the surnames that began with a ‘P’, she began to panic.

What would happen if she called? Would Max think she was creepy by finding his number in the phonebook? Only stalkers did that, didn’t they? Was she a stalker? What if he had a girlfriend? What if his girlfriend answered? What if he is living with his parents and his mother answers? What if he l...?

Harley faltered as she came across the telephone number listed under Porter, Maximilian, and took a deep breath.

She slowly punched in the numbers, and stared at the small green button for a few minutes as she tried to coax herself to call him. She took a moment to force a deep, even breath from her abdomen. It didn’t help. She took another.

“Are you giving birth or some shit?” Colie narrowed her eyes and chuckled, going to reach for the phone.

Harley gripped it possessively while shaking her head, indicating that she was able to fight her own battles, and released the phone from her chest. She finally dialled the number and waited as the phone began to ring.

“Hello?” A deep voice murmured into the phone, as smooth as silk. Harley’s eyes widened at the sound. This was most definitely not Max’s girlfriend or mother.

“Uh...yeah.” Harley stammered, feeling her cheeks go red under the pressure of speaking to this man. She felt the scrutinizing gaze of her friend as Colie tried to move closer to the phone in order to hear Harley’s conversation. Harley moved farther away from her friend. “You...hi there.”

“Do you need something?”

Oh great. Harley had already annoyed him and they had been talking for less than a minute. Why was it that she was such a stammering mess?!

“Hi.” She felt stupid repeating herself. “Is this...Max Porter?”

“Yeah, it is.” She could hear the curiosity in his voice through the phone. The annoyance was gone. “Who is this?”

“It’s, um, I’m Harley Dawson.” She laughed awkwardly. “We uh, met at the food store?”

“Oh.” Max chuckled throatily. “How did you get my number? And uh, what’s up, Harley?”

“I—” She paused, before clearing her throat, hoping that he wouldn’t realize that she deliberately avoided his question. “The thing is, I called you because I kind of need you to be my fake boyfriend.”

“What?!”

“Yeah,” Harley winced but nodded, even though Max could not see her. She could faintly hear Colie’s laughter in the background.

She turned to look at her best friend, who was covering her mouth with her hand as she attempted to suppress her amusement. Harley rolled her eyes at Colie, who stuck out her tongue.

“Harley, you there?” Max questioned, and Harley then realized how she had almost forgotten about the fact that Max was on the phone with her.

“Sorry.” Harley apologized. She took another deep breath, before beginning to speak.

She explained to Max how she had gone to her brother’s house, how Colie had made up the lie that they were dating, how Lisa (who had been to described to Max as a “friend’s” girlfriend) had accused her of being alone and how there would be a costume party and he was invited. She had continued to ramble about unnecessary details, before letting the silence wash over her as she waited for a reaction.

“Wow.” Max muttered finally, and Harley could tell that he thought she was crazy.

This was the part where she would make a fool of herself, Max would hang up, and Harley would have to go to the party alone feeling like a loner while being insulted by Lisa. To her surprise, Max did not hang up or even tell her she was insane. He just continued to laugh. Finally, he spoke again.

“Well I have to say, this has never happened to me before. I’ll do it.”

“What?” Harley asked, surprised that he had not disconnected her from his life as of yet.

“I said I’ll do it.” Max smiled into the phone, “I mean, why not. I get to go to a party with a girl and pretend as if we’re dating. Am I allowed a kiss?”

Harley felt weight being taken off her shoulders as a smile broke out on her face. She imagined Max sitting at home, his dark curls falling into his emerald eyes as he spoke to her.

“If you’re lucky.” Harley murmured coyly. “It depends on how I feel.”

“Oh, well I definitely have to come now.” He exclaimed. The two continued to chat for a while, until Harley noticed Colie getting from her seat next to her.

Colie had long given up on trying to listen to their conversation, and instead had abandoned her to flip through a fashion magazine she had recently purchased, Now however, she was walking towards the door.

A few minutes later, Colie returned with two familiar figures. Harley felt herself internally cringe, before turning her attention back to Max who was telling her about a job offer he had gotten. She still did not know how old he was.

Figuring she would find out later, she said her goodbye to Max as she felt two pairs of eyes burning holes in her back. Feeling accomplished and slightly annoyed upon realizing who the sudden company was, she turned to look into a pair of identical brown eyes.

“Where’s mom?” The figure who had made himself comfortable on the couch said, and Harley rolled her eyes, before glancing at Colie, who was completely ignoring everything other than Rian.

“I don’t know,” Harley grunted, before glancing back and forth between the two boys in front of her. “What are you here for, anyway?”

“Can’t a guy see his own mother without being interrogated?”

“No.” Harley deadpanned, before raising an eyebrow.

She still didn’t know where she stood with Rian anymore. After their “fall-out” last year, she thought that they wouldn’t be talking to each other anymore.

And they hadn’t really, except for the other day when Lisa had tried to attack Colie and curse out Harley...Rian had stood up for her then. Harley shook her head, knowing that deciphering her brother’s actions would prove to be difficult.

Instead, she realized that the room had gone silent, and began to look around. Colie was still focusing her attention on Rian, who was fiddling with a loose thread on the throw pillow. Alex, who sat next to Rian, was staring at Harley. She squirmed uncomfortably in the silence, and averted her gaze to the carpet.

“Harley, can I, uh, speak to you for a minute?”

Harley looked up startled, only to realize that the voice had come from the person that she wanted to talk to the least.

“What do you want?” She asked, crossing her thin arms over her chest, both out of aggravation and as a defence.

“Can I talk to you...somewhere else?” Alex looked between Colie and Rian.

Rian was sending Alex an unreadable look, while Colie was still staring at Rian. Slowly, Colie must have realized what was happening, as she sent an alarmed look towards Harley.

Harley’s eyebrows furrowed as Alex got up from the couch and went to the adjoined kitchen, leaving Harley no choice but to follow. As she followed him into the kitchen, Harley closed the door behind her and turned around.

He was leaning against the counter casually, as though he was at his own house. He looked good that day; he was wearing a plaid red and blue long sleeved shirt with the sleeves rolled up, a dark blue shirt underneath, skinny jeans and his trademark Nikes.

His hair was tousled from whatever previous activity he had been partaking in, and a small smirk adorned his face.

“What do you want?” Harley repeated, annoyed but now nervous at the idea of Alex and Harley alone in a room together.

Through the walls, Harley could faintly hear the sound of Rian and Colie’s voices mixing together as they talked about something. Suddenly, Harley felt herself feel nauseous as her head began to throb.

“Look,” Alex sighed, running a hand through his knotted hair, “I know some shit has gone on between us in the past—”

Harley opened her mouth to speak. “So—?”

“—I’m not here to argue with you Harley.” Alex waited to see if Harley would try to speak again, but she kept her mouth closed. When she didn’t object, looking slightly relieved, he continued. “I know things got bad between us last summer. Even though I think it’s my fault as much as it is yours, it was the past. And because of that, I’m willing to say that You are right and I am wrong. I’m so fucking tired of arguing.”

“So what are you suggesting?”

“I’m saying that I really think we should be friends. Just friends.”

“But the other night we...”

Harley couldn’t bring herself to say the word ”kissed” for she was too embarrassed. Instead, she sent Alex a look, hoping that he would catch on.

“It was a mistake.” Alex rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly, “I just wanted...I just wanted to see if something was still there...” He looked up, “...and it wasn’t.”

It was something in that moment, may it be the tension, the look in Alex’s eyes, the words echoing through the air, her heart beating in her chest like a drum or even the fact that this meant she would not have a chance with Alex anymore, but Harley felt like crying.

Her chin trembled and her eyes watered. She felt that absolutely terrible feeling that one feels when they are about to bawl their eyes out, and Harley felt like crawling into a hole where she would never have to face the world again.

But she couldn’t let Alex see her cry. Especially over something asspecial stupid as him. After all, she was over him now. She felt herself tense as she composed herself and attempted to appear nonchalant in front of Alex, who was watching her carefully.

“Okay,” She managed to blurt out, “So we’re friends?”

“If you want us to be. After all, I’ve got Lisa and you’ve got...Mark?”

“Max.”

“Max.” Alex nodded, though there was an unreadable emotion lingering in his eyes. “So we’ve both moved on. We’re over each other and what we...did.”

“Yeah.” Harley agreed, forcing herself to appear calm and composed in front of the boy who had broken her heart.

She watched as Alex opened his arms wide in the air, his vibrant brown eyes watching her expectantly. She stared at him with a blank expression on her face.

“What?” She muttered finally, wrapping her arms further around her body.

“You’re supposed to give me a hug.” Alex dropped his arms, realizing that he had been humiliated.

“Oh.” Harley felt the blood pool onto her face and the heat around her increase as she watched a hurt expression find its way onto Alex’s face. “Sorry.”

She opened her arms, and felt something inside her jolt as Alex stepped towards her, wrapping his arms around her waist.

Harley wanted to pretend like the hug was something that friends could have, something that even lovers could have, but both Alex and Harley knew that it was just plain awkward.

And that was all their relationship had been the entire time.

Awkward.