Kings and Queens of Promise

I woke up the next morning and gave a long stretch before I realized that I wasn’t in my room. I sat up quickly, looking around: I was still in Jared’s room. The blankets were laying across my legs, so someone must have found me in here and covered me up. I prayed it wasn’t Jared. Slipping out of bed, I started to leave, but the piano in the corner was too irresistible. I sat down, running my fingers lightly over the shiny keys. What to play?

Smiling, I began to play and sing.

“Falling a thousand feet per second,
You still take me by surprise
I just know we can’t be over
I can see it in your eyes

Making every kind of silence
Takes a lot to realize
It’s worse to finish than to start all over and never let it lie
And as long as I can feel you holding on
I won’t fall, even if you said I was wrong

I'm not perfect, but I keep trying
'Cause that's what I said I would do from the start
I'm not alive if I'm lonely, so please don't leave
Was it something I said or just my personality?

Making every kind of silence, it takes a lot to realize
It's worse to finish than to start all over and never let it lie
And as long as I can feel you holding on
I won't fall, even if you said I wrong

I know that I'm not perfect, but I keep trying
'Cause that's what I said I would do from the start
I'm not alive if I'm lonely, so please don't leave
Was it something I said or just my personality?

When you're caught in a lie and you've got nothing to hide
When you've got nowhere to run and you've got nothing inside
It tears right through me, you thought that you knew me
You thought that you knew

I'm not perfect, but I keep trying
'Cause that's what I said I would do from the start
I'm not alive if I'm lonely, so please don't leave
Was it something I said or just my personality?

I'm not perfect, but I keep trying
'Cause that's what I said I would do from the start
I'm not alive if I'm lonely, so please don't leave
Was it something I said or just my, just myself
Just myself, myself, just myself

I'm not perfect, but I keep trying”

I jumped nearly a foot in the air as someone applauded behind me.

‘Please don’t let it be Jared, please don’t let it be Jared.’

It wasn’t.

“You listen to Canadian bands?” Pierre asked, leaning casually against the door.

“Well, I listen to you, don’t I?” I said, relieved. I quickly stood up, leaving Jared’s room with Pierre. “You really should consider sleeping in sometimes.”

“I do. I slept in yesterday.”

“You were hung over, though,” I pointed out.

“Well, maybe I just don’t sleep much.”

“Where’s Zacky?” I said, already ready for a change of topic. “Isn’t this his day?”

“He’s probably still asleep,” Pierre shrugged. “You have time for some breakfast. I’d change clothes first, if I were you.” I nodded and ran up to my room, throwing on some clean clothes without showering. I couldn’t decide between my ‘I Only Date Ninjas’ shirt or my Boys Like Girls tee, so I put on a jacket and went downstairs, both shirts in hand.

“Hey, Pierre, which shirt should I wear?” I asked him. He looked up, eyeing the two shirts. Behind him, at the bar, sat Alex, a very tired-looking Jack, and David. Jared was leaning against the doorframe to the family room, wearing the same clothes from the day before.

“That one,” David said, gesturing to the TMNT one.

“Wait, wait, wait,” Pierre said, taking a step toward me as I started to leave. “Am I to assume that you’re not wearing a shirt under that jacket?”

“Um,” I blushed.

“Let’s find out,” said an enthusiastic voice behind me. Before I knew it, my zipper had been seized and my jacket was open, revealing my black bra.

“Fuck!” I shouted, grabbing either side of the jacket and covering myself.

“Lacey,” Syn laughed, walking past me. “Good choice.” Alex had his face covered by his hands, Syn was smirking, and the rest of the guys were just sort of staring at my chest, even though I had already zipped my jacket back up. Jared was looking at the floor, shaking his head. I stood frozen for a moment, totally humiliated, before I ran back upstairs, completely mortified. Tears stung in my eyes as ran up the stairs to my room, throwing off my jacket and tugging my shirt over my head. As I reached my room, I grabbed the nearest box, throwing it on my bed and beginning to violently shove my belongings into it.

“Hey, hey, hey, what are doing?!” Jared’s voice shouted. I had been so mad, I hadn’t even heard him thundering up the stairs.

“I quit!” I shouted, tears streaming down my face. “I can’t face them again. I hate Syn! I can’t do this anymore. I can’t, I can’t, I––”

“Hey, just calm down a second. Stop packing, you aren‘t quitting,” he said, but I continued to throw stuff in the box. “I said stop!” he shouted angrily, grabbing me around the middle and picking me up.

“Let me go, goddammit!” I screamed, kicking and flailing my arms.

“Not until you calm down!” he shouted. I screamed, trying my hardest to kick him. “Stop being such a drama queen!” I finally stopped kicking, choosing to go completely limp. He sighed and gently put me on the floor. Once he let go, I made a dive at the box, seizing something else to throw into it. “Stop,” his voice hissed in my ear as I was grabbed again. This time, he pinned my arms to my side and dragged me to the middle of the room. I glared at the floor. “Now, listen to me,” his cool voice said in my ear. “This isn’t that big of a deal. You live here now, so trust me, you’ll be seeing plenty of them in their underwear. You just need to go down there and act like nothing happened. That’s all Syn wants: a reaction. He likes to play with people, like toys. He’s not trying to be mean with you, he just finds it fun to embarrass people. It’s his sign of…affection, if you will, so don’t take it personally. It’s a sign that he likes you.”

“Whatever,” I said, still glaring at the floor.

“You are so stubborn,” Jared whispered, his breath hot on my neck. I shivered involuntarily, immediately hoping he didn’t notice, but there was no way he missed it. He didn’t act on it. “Now, you just sit down and I’ll clean up the mess you made, alright?” He slowly put me down on the edge of my bed, pausing to see if I would run away. I just sat there, tears still streaming down my face. Jared sighed before starting to unpack the items I’d managed to throw into the box. Once he was done, he left without saying another word. What was his deal? First he wouldn’t look at me, then he came up here to talk me into staying, then he just leaves again? Letting out a frustrated sigh, I kicked my dresser before pulling my jacket back on. I was still too angry to go back downstairs, so I sat on my bed, grabbing my black acoustic and a notebook. At least I could try to put my anger to some good use.