I Am Invincible

When I woke up on my 14th birthday a year ago, I never expected that I would’ve gone through all that I did throughout the year. I hope I never go through another year like that; it messed me up more than anyone could possibly imagine. I had given up the ecstasy three months before my 15th birthday, and let me tell you, it wasn’t a walk in the park. Withdrawals were the hardest things I’ve ever had to go through. I was anxious and angry, constantly tired, depressed. I had panic attacks; when things just became too much I would curl up in a small ball and shake, unable to breathe. There were times when I just wished I could have just one small pill, just to make me feel better, but I never tried to do anything about it. I wanted this; I wanted to feel this bad so that I knew that if I survived, I’d get better in the end. My parents considered rehabilitation, and gave me the choice. They believed that I could get better with weekly therapy sessions and the love and support from themselves and my boyfriend. When the temptations got too overbearing a couple of weeks after the final bag of pills were flushed down the toilet (not by Zach, though, by me which in itself is a massive achievement), I decided to try the rehab for a short time. I stayed there for four weeks, and it was the best experience of my life. The rehab helped me more than anything and convinced me that I really didn’t need the drugs to be happy. Zach and my parents were allowed to visit me every weekend while I was there. Being the youngest person there, rehab was a scary place, even though most people tried to make my stay comfortable. Even so, the weekend was a time for me to look forward to while I was there and every day that Zach and mom and dad weren’t there, I missed them constantly. But as I said; going to rehab was the best thing I could’ve done and I feel so much stronger against drugs because of it.

The day after my parents came and picked me up from the rehab centre, Zach and I had the house to ourselves while mom, dad, Declan and Jack (because he practically lives at my house; I don’t know why he doesn’t just sell his apartment and move in) went into the city to do some shopping. Zach and I spent a lot of time talking; I was trying to catch up on the six months that I’d missed being drugged up to the eyeballs. Apparently, Declan had finally dragged up enough courage and asked the girl he’d been obsessing over since high school started, Tamsin, out a couple of months ago. She said yes, and he was spending a lot of his time out with her… which would explain why I hadn’t seen him around the house much since I decided to get clean. I also found out that in a month or so All Time Low would be touring Australia for a few weeks, and if I wanted, I was invited. Of course I wanted to go! I’ve never been to Australia and it’s supposed to be a really beautiful part of the world, not to mention the gorgeous surfy boys that would be there with their amazing tans and messy hair from the salty water and gah. Oh, the perks of having a father in a famous band!

Zach also told me that Emilie had dated a boy, Adam, for about four months before she caught him kissing another girl at the cinema when she and Hanna went to see some chick flick. Zach was laughing when he told me that Emilie didn’t even hesitate to march right up to the pair, drag the other girl away from Adam’s mouth, punch Adam in the face and then turn around and walk calmly back to her seat a few rows back and continued watching the movie. I was proud of her and I told her so a few minutes later when she called me (spooky, it’s like she knew we were talking about her) and I also apologised about a hundred times for not being there for her like I should’ve been. She forgave me all too easily; everyone did, especially Zach, who I think I hurt more than anyone. But I was doing my best to make up to everyone for the horror I was not that long before.

After a while, I’d had enough talking about everyone and I got up off my chair and made my way over to the couch and sat on Zach’s lap, facing him. His arms immediately wound around me, keeping me from falling backwards like I had a habit of doing. I placed my arms around his neck loosely and sat there looking at him for a minute or so before leaning towards him and placing a light kiss on his slightly parted lips. I felt him smile into the kiss and I deepened it, tightening my arms around his neck and pressing my chest into his. His arms tightened around my waist and I shuddered slightly when I felt his cold hands run up the back of my shirt, lifting it up and over my head and tossing it somewhere on the floor in front of us. His fingers traced patterns on my back as we continued kissing and I groaned when they tickled certain spots. A few minutes of this and I decided that I needed to pay Zach back. I grabbed the bottom of his t-shirt, and in one swift movement pulled it over his head and threw it behind me so that it joined mine. I immediately began sucking on his collarbone, nipping occasionally to make a mark. Meanwhile, Zach’s hands had made their way into the back pockets of my jeans. I squealed in shock when he squeezed my ass gently and he chuckled before removing his hands. I whined a little at the loss of contact until his hands found my belt buckle, un-doing it expertly and pulling it through the belt loops easily and let it drop beside us on the floor. Zach swiftly undid the button on my jeans and pulled them down slightly, stopping because I was still sitting down. I didn’t move just yet; instead I removed my arms from around Zach’s neck and fumbled with the button on his jeans until I managed to undo it. Zach stood up suddenly, holding me under my ass and placed me so that I was standing on the ground in front of him. Kneeling down, he inched my skin-tight jeans painstakingly slowly down my legs, along with my underwear. I was ready to kick him because he was taking so long but eventually my jeans were off and I was standing there feeling sufficiently awkward, completely naked, until Zach stood up straight again. I shoved his jeans and underwear down his legs, not wanting to waste any more time. He picked me up and I immediately wrapped my legs around his waist as he moved back towards to the couch, falling backwards onto it awkwardly. My mouth found his and we furiously made out for a few minutes before…

So melodramatic but it turns me on.
I close my eyes it feels just like a movie.
I'm convinced that we don't make sense,
but I'd kill anyon…

“Fucking leave it,” Zach growled, glaring at my phone before attaching his lips to my neck roughly and making me moan loudly.

He pushed me backwards so that I was lying underneath him on the couch and he was leaning over me, the two of us breathing loudly.

“Z-Zach! Please!” I whined. He chuckled.
“I love you, Cameron…” he whispered in my ear while pressing himself closer to me.
“Yes! I love you too! Damnit, Zachary! Please,” I pleaded, loudly.

Zach kissed me roughly. My lips were definitely going to be bruised in the morning, but I didn’t care. All I cared about was what Zach was going to do to me to make me feel amazing whenever he stopped stalling and just fucking made love to me. He could tell that I was impatient, and that was why he was taking so long, teasing me.
“Ready?” he whispered.
I nearly shrieked with frustration. “YES!”
“Are you sure?” he nipped my earlobe with his teeth.
“FUCK! GO!”

“OH MY GOD! I am NEVER sitting on that couch EVER AGAIN!” I heard from in front of us and looked around Zach. Declan was standing in the doorway with my parents and Jack behind him, all staring at us, wide eyed. Awkward. I grabbed my jeans off the floor, tripping over the bottom as I hurried to put them on, then chucked Zach’s at him.

I looked back at my family sheepishly.

“Uhhh… Oops?”
“Ugh, whatever,” dad said as he stalked past us towards the stairs without looking at us. Mom and Jack followed him, laughing quietly to themselves.
Declan turned around and walked back out the front door, his face bright red.

Zach and I looked at each other and cracked up. I love my family. I love my friends. And I love Zach. I should have known that they would be all I needed to bring me out of my depression after I was attacked. I didn’t need drugs. I know that now; I’m never going back to the train wreck that I was.

A week later, as I sat up in bed with my family and friends around me wishing me a happy 15th birthday, I made a vow to never go down that road of drugs and destruction ever again, no matter what happened in my life.