When Everything Gets Crazy, I Get Lost In You.

I sit in my hospital bed the next day with my arms crossed over my chest while a nurse lectures me. Adam is standing beside her, staring me down as well.

I just attempted to get out of my bed for the first time, without anyone else here to supervise and make sure I was OK. I was doing pretty good until I got around the end of my bed and started to head towards the bathroom, then everything started spinning and I fainted. The next thing I know Adam is picking me up and carrying me back to my bed, yelling for the nurses. Hence the lecture that I'm getting now.

"Now, Miss Gontier, if you want to get out of bed to go to the bathroom you can press the button for one of the nurses, or have your husband help you. But I suggest that you don't get out of bed again unless it's under your Doctor's orders, understand?" I sigh. Who does this bitch think she is?

"Also, your blood pressure is remarkably high, and that's worrisome. We can't release you from the hospital until that goes down. I'll talk to your Doctor about how we can get that down."

"What if you can't get it down? What are the risks?" Adam asks her quietly.

"The most severe risk is that it doesn't go down and she suffers cardiac arrest." I sigh again and look at the clock on the wall, arms still crossed over my chest. I've never been so frustrated in my life. Alright, that may be a lie but whatever. The nurse looks at the clock as well, then looks back at Adam.

"Visiting hours end in ten minutes, I'll be in then to give you your night time med's, ma'am."

"Fine," I say finally. She leaves and Adam turns to me. I roll my eyes.

"What?" he asks.

"They wonder why my blood pressure is so high. Maybe if they let me out of this fucking dungeon it wouldn't be so high."

"Babe, they can't let you out of here yet. You just got your brace off this morning, and now your blood pressure is through the roof. What if they let you out and something even worse happened?" I sigh again.

"I need to get out of here. I need to see Jack and Nikki."

"You just tried to get out of bed and you fainted, doesn't that tell you something, Babe?"

"Yeah, it tells me that I need to get out of this bed and start moving around and getting my legs back in shape." His turn to sigh and shake his head.

"I just need to see Nikki and Jack, and see how they're doing and make sure they're alright, you know?" I say.

"Babe, why can't you understand this? You need to get yourself better first. You are going to be no good to Jack and Nikki if you get out of bed and fall down again, and break your neck, or give yourself a fucking heart attack and end up like my dad."

"I'm not going to end up like your dad, Adam. Don't be so dramatic."

"I'm not fucking being dramatic. Did you not just hear the fucking nurse tell you that you could have a fucking heart attack if your blood pressure doesn't go down?" I can tell that he's starting to get pissed, but you know what so am I. He's not the one trapped in this fucking bed.

"Well they can't keep me here forever."

"What does that fucking mean?"

"It means I'm getting out of this bed tomorrow, whether they like it or not. I have to see our kid."

"Why won't you just fucking listen to me?"

"Because I've fucking been there, Adam! I know what those two are going through, and I swear to God I am not going to let them go through it alone like I did!"

"You don't think that I know what they're going through right now?! I was there too, Sophie, I know what it's like. I know what it's like to watch the woman you love fucking suffer, and I know what it's like to feel so helpless because all you can do is fucking watch and in the meantime your own fucking heart is breaking. You don't think that there is nowhere I'd rather be right now than with those two, you're wrong. But you're my wife and right now, you're my priority." I hear one of the machines that I'm hooked up to start beeping wildly. Probably the one tracking my heart rate or blood pressure.

"The nurse will be in here soon, if you're staying overnight you should probably get out of here for a few minutes. I'm going to bed," I say to him with little emotion, rolling over on my side so I'm not facing him. I hear him sigh again and then he comes over and kisses my head. He leaves the room and I shut my eyes until I hear the nurse come in to give me my med's.

About twenty minutes later I hear him re-enter the room and sit down in the chair beside my bed, flipping on the TV and adjusting the volume. I hear a sports announcer so I assume that he's watching hockey. I just shut my eyes again and try to fall asleep.

The next morning when I wake up there is sun peeking through the blinds on the windows, and I can smell coffee. I roll over and see Adam awake with a Starbucks cup in his hand, watching the NHL Network. He looks at me when I sit up in bed and adjust the neck roll pillow that they gave me.

"How did you sleep?" he asks me.

"Fine. Would be better in my own bed."

"I'm sure."

"Has the nurse been in yet?"

"No." I watch the TV with him for a few minutes then we hear a knock on the outside of my room and a second later a nurse comes bustling in with my morning medications.

"Good morning," she says with a smile.

"Morning," I say to her. She shows me the pills that she wants me to take and I put them in my mouth, taking a sip of water to swallow them down with. She checks my IV drip and writes down all of the numbers from the monitoring devices.

"Alright, I'm going for now. Is there anything I can get you before I go?" she asks.

"No we're fine," I tell her. She smiles again, which is kind of pissing me off because I have had nothing to smile about in the last two days.

"OK. The food girl should be coming in soon to get your breakfast order."

"Thank you." She turns then and walks out of the room.

"Jesus, who shot the sunshine up her fucking ass," I say snidely to Adam who chuckles a little.

"Be nice." I raise my eyebrows slightly and then there's another knock on my door, and a second later the food girl comes in.

"Good morning," she says. "What's for breakfast?" I grab my menu from next to my bed and look it over.

"Black coffee and orange juice, a grilled cinnamon roll, oatmeal with extra brown sugar... and I think that's it." I set the menu down as she writes down my order. I see Adam grinning to himself.

"Hungry babe?" he asks me after the girl has left.

"I figured that we would share."

"I didn't think you'd want to share anything with me after lastnight."

"I'm over it. I understand what you were saying, and I'm sorry if I made you feel bad with what I said. You know that I don't mean the things I say when I'm feeling pushed in a corner."

"I know. And I know that's how you were feeling lastnight, so I just let it all go."

"Am I forgiven?" I ask him childishly.

"Am I?"

"Of course."

"Then you are too." I pat the bed next to me.

"Come lay with me." He sets his coffee down on the stand next to my bed and comes and sits on the bed next to me, and we watch TV until my food arrives. After we eat we hang out for a little while more.

"I was thinking that today I'm gonna go back to the house and check in on things, check in on the dogs. And pick up some stuff for you. Is there anything you want from home?"

"Some clothes to wear when they discharge me, I think that's all that I need since the cops brought me my purse from the accident and that had my cell phone in it."

"And heaven forbid we not have our cell phones on us at all times." I laugh at him and then there's another knock on the door.

"Hello?" I hear a familiar raspy voice say, and then I see Austin and Jackie come in the room. Adam gets out of bed then and walks over to them.

"Hi!" I say to them happily. Thank God. Real people, not just Adam and the nurses. Jackie comes over to me and gives me a hug.

"How are you feeling?" she asks me as she moves back so Austin can hug me.

"I'm still really sore, but other than that I'm fine."

"Good, I'm glad to hear that. When are you getting out of here?"

"I don't know. They won't tell me."

"She's being modest about her injuries, so take what she says with a grain of salt," Adam says, and I give him a dirty look, making the two of them laugh.

"Where's baby Austin?" I ask them.

"He's with my mom," Austin says. "We didn't know how long we would be here and we didn't want you to be annoyed with having a baby in here."

"I could never be annoyed with him, you should have brought him. I haven't seen him in forever."

"Here," Jackie says, digging around in her purse. She takes out some pictures and hands them to me. I flip through them and laugh.

"He's getting so big!" I tell them.

"Yeah he is."

"I love this one of him with Mike in the sunglasses. I want a copy of that one."

"Keep that one, I have multiples of all of his pictures just for that reason. I show them to people and they want to keep it. If I didn't do that, then I would have no pictures for myself!" she says with a laugh.

"Hey while you guys are here, I should go back to the house now so that Sophie doesn't have to stay by herself while I'm gone," Adam says to them.

"Yeah man, go do what you've gotta do," Austin tells him.

"OK. Babe, what kind of clothes do you want from the house, just sweats or something right?"

"Yeah, just sweats and a t-shirt. And bring me a hoodie too. And socks and underwear and my running shoes." He nods.

"Anything else you can think of that you want?"

"The dogs?" they all laugh at me.

"I'll be back." He grabs his car keys from on the stand next to my bed, and gives me a kiss. On his way out the door, I hear him talking to someone and pretty soon Barry comes walking into my room with a bouquet of flowers in his hand.

"Barry!" I say, extending my arms out to him. He comes over and gives me a hug.

"How are you feeling?"

"Good, but they won't let me out of here."

"They'll let you out soon if you're feeling good. These are from Heather and me," he says handing me the flowers.

"They're beautiful. Where is Heather?"

"She had to work, but she wanted me to give you a hug for her." I smell the flowers, and then a lightbulb goes off in my head.

"Jackie, look out that window and tell me when you see Adam walking across the parking lot." She gives me a funny look and walks over to my window, cracking the blinds so she can see out.

"What's the plan, mama?" Barry asks me, getting a grin from Austin.

"Hold on," I tell them.

"OK, there he is. He's getting in his car right now. He's turning it on, and he's backing out."

"Austin, hand me that robe over there," I say, pointing at a robe that's hanging in the tiny cabinet across the room. He grabs the robe and hands it to me and I start to put it on as best I can in the bed.

"Bring over that wheel chair,"

"Oh no," Barry says as Austin pushes the wheelchair across the room.

"Shut up," I say to him, holding a finger up in the air as I tie up the robe. He smirks and shuts right up as I throw the blankets over my legs and turn in bed, dangling my legs over the bed.

"Is Adz gonna kill me for this?" Barry asks.

"Probably. You two get on either side of me and help me into the chair." He and Austin go on either side of me and take my arms, helping me up on my feet. My legs feel like jello as I hobble over to the chair. Jackie hurries over and fixes my robe behind me as we walk. The guys get me turned around and I back up until I feel the chair behind me, then I drop down into it.

"Jackie check the window," I tell her. She runs over to the window and looks out.

"The coast is clear."

"Alright, now get me out of here." Jackie grabs my purse and throws it over her arm just in case, and Barry pushes my wheel chair out of the room.

"To the right," I tell him. "Austin and Jackie you guys keep a look out, and try not to look suspicious."

Barry pushes me down the hall with his sunglasses on, and Austin and Jackie are flanking us on either side, keeping lookout. I'm sure we have suspicious written all over us, but no one says anything.

"Get on the elevator and go the second floor," I say to Barry. We get in the elevator and Austin pushes the button to go to the second floor. When we get off the elevator I come face to face with one of the nurses whose been taking care of me, and I feel my heart drop. Busted. She smiles.

"Look who's out of bed and moving around. Good for you!" she says happily.

"Yup," I say weakly, smiling as we move on.

"Go Barry, go," I say under my breath but just loud enough that he can hear me. As soon as we're going Jackie starts giggling uncontrollably.

"We are so gonna get busted," Austin says.

"Only because of you two," Barry says.

"Turn left here, and it's the third door down," I say. We turn left and I see Nikki's door is shut. We stop in front of it and Jackie reaches out and knocks. I hear Jack's voice say 'come in,' and Jackie pushes open the door, and Barry pushes my chair through.

Jack is sitting in the chair next to Nikki's bed looking like Adam at my bedside for the last two days. He looks worn out and upset, but I swear I almost see a look of relief wash over him when we come in. Nikki is laying in the bed, staring out the windows not really looking like she's paying attention to anything. She has some cuts on her face and a bruise on her cheek from the accident.

"Mama," Jack says, getting up and coming over to me, wrapping his arms around me tightly, gripping his fingers into my robe. I hug him tightly back and kiss the side of his neck.

"How are you baby?" I whisper to him.

"Better now." I squeeze him once and then let go of him.

"Help me over to her," I tell him. Both he and Barry come over and take my arms like before, and they escort me over to the bed. Nikki looks over at us finally and she scoots over in the bed, patting her hand on it.

"Bring her over to the bed, Jack," she says to him gently. He nods at her, and gives her a personal look. I sit down on the bed next to her, facing her with one of my legs tucked under me. Jackie pushes the wheel chair over so it's not in the middle of the room and Austin sits in it, and she sits on his lap with both my purse and her purse in her lap. Barry pats my shoulder, then walks off out of the room to wait outside.

"How are you, honey?" I ask her.

"Um, I feel OK I guess. The doctor said I could go home tonight, so that's good."

"Are you going back to your parents place?"

"Yeah, I don't really have anywhere else to go."

"I told her she could come home with us for a few days," Jack says. I look at him and nod.

"Absolutely. Wherever you're most comfortable."

"Thank you, but I'm sure my parents would prefer that I came home."

"I'm not holding them to that. They haven't even been here yet," Jack says, his voice dripping with anger.

"Jack," I say to him.

"It's the truth. She just had a fucking miscarriage and they can't leave the fucking Bahama's or where ever the fuck they went to see her. That's bullshit."

"Jack," Nikki says to him, much like I did but in a gentler tone of voice. She reaches out and takes his hand, lacing her fingers through his. Their manner with each other is completely different than it was the last time I saw them together. Which should be expected. Adam and I were changed a lot with how we treated each other after my miscarriage too.

"Sorry," he says to her.

"It's alright. When do you get out of here, Sophie?"

"I don't know. They say that my blood pressure is too high and that until it comes down they don't want to release me."

"What about your neck? When Adam came by before he said that you were in a brace," Jack says.

"I got that off yesterday, and I managed to talk them out of putting it back on me lastnight when I fell."

"You fell?"

"Wait, you fell?" Austin pipes in from in the background. "You got us to sneak you out of your room and forgot to mention to us that you fell lastnight? Adam is going to kill us for sure."

"No he's not, it wasn't a big deal. I just fainted."

"You fainted?" Nikki asks, sounding shocked.

"They said it probably had something to do with the blood pressure thing."

"Well, what happens if your blood pressure gets any higher?" Jack asks.

"Well if it gets too out of control they said I'm at risk of going into cardiac arrest."

"Oh my God, Sophie!" Nikki says to me.

"Well it's like I told Adam lastnight, if they would just let me out of that cage every now and then my blood pressure would go down. If they let me go home it would go back to normal, I just know it. It's being here that is making my blood pressure go up."

"Maybe you should go back to your room then. I don't want anything to happen to you, I mean that would be horrible," Nikki says.

"I just needed to check on you two. And see how you were doing. How are you doing?"

"I'm holding in there, ya know? It's been really hard, but Jack has been amazing through all of this. He hasn't left my side at all," she says, giving Jack an admirable look, and he smiles back at her.

"We got the paternity results while we've been here. It was Jack's." I sigh and look at Jack.

"You guys are gonna be OK. As long as you've got each other, you'll get through this. And if you ever need to talk to someone you know where to find Adam and I. Don't think that you need to do this by yourself, it takes time to heal. Trust me I know." Nikki gives me a funny look and I pat her hand.

"You can ask Jack when we leave, OK? He knows." She nods and then out of nowhere the door to the room busts open and Adam comes flying inside, about ten shades of red with Barry hot on his heels.

"What the hell are you doing out of bed? Are you trying to give ME a fucking heart attack?!" he yells.

"Babe, calm down. You're looking a little crazy right now."

"I'm the crazy one? Are you kidding? Of course I'm fucking crazy. I go into your room and the covers are thrown back and you and your purse are long fucking gone. I didn't know what the hell happened. None of the nurses knew where you were. I've been calling your cell phone, all of your cell phones!" he yells, motioning at Austin, Jackie, and Barry, who are all looking down at their feet.

"Hi Adam," Nikki says childishly from her bed.

"Hello sweetheart." he turns and looks at Barry. "Were you a part of this?" he shrugs and looks at me. Then Adam looks at Austin and Jackie.

"I should have known you two were involved in this," Jackie's mouth falls open and I laugh a little.

"Don't blame them. You knew how bad I wanted out of that god damned room so I could see these two. Now I have and you won't have to worry about me getting out of bed anymore. You should be happy," I say with a smile. He just blinks.

"Happy. I should be happy? What if you'd have had a heart attack on the way down here? Would these three have known what was going on? No because you didn't even tell them what was wrong, did you? Because I know at least Barry wouldn't have gone along with this if he had known."

"No I didn't tell them. But whatever it's done now, so just get over it."

"Get over it? I'm having a fucking coronary right now! Don't tell me to get over it!" I hear giggling from behind me and we all look back to see Nikki laughing at us. Jack gives her a huge smile and she covers her mouth with both of her hands to keep from laughing so hard. I look at Adam and smile at him, then I take Jack's hand and squeeze it tightly, and he laughs a little too.

I lean in and give Nikki a kiss on the cheek.

"We should get going now. Jack, call us when you get her home, alright?" I say to him.

"Yeah, I'll come back by to see you when I get her to her parent's place."

"OK. Guys, you wanna help me back into that chair. Austin and Adam get up and help me stand up and Barry pushes the chair over to us. Once I'm sitting in the chair, Jack comes over and gives me another hug and kiss, then we all head out and back to my room.

Once we get back to the room, a nurse immediately rushes in and gets me situated back in my bed, and after she leaves I visit with all of my guests. Barry leaves first, and about an hour later Austin and Jackie leave promising that if I'm still here tomorrow that they will come back with Baby Austin.

Adam and I sit around by ourselves for a little while and talk and watch TV, and a couple hours later Jack comes in the room by himself and sits in the chair where Adam has been sitting for this whole time. Adam is sitting in my bed with me. None of us say anything, but there is a silent understanding for all of us and our situations. Adam wraps his leg around me so that his legs are on either side of me and he's sitting behind me. He removes the neck roll pillow from behind my neck and starts massaging my neck as the three of us sit together.