For Always, Forever

Martin turned the volume up on his iPod. He couldn’t sleep yet again, because – surprise, surprise – Rian was staying over. Listening to them go at it made him sick with jealousy. It should’ve been him. He hated waking up in the morning and trying not to look for the telltale purplish-red marks on Zack’s neck. As the weeks leading up to Alex and Jack’s wedding passed, it bothered him more and more. He helped Alex and Jack send out invitations to all their friends; he micromanaged both sets of parents whenever they tried to interfere with the wedding planning, taking them out for lunch and keeping them busy with minor tasks. Zack and Rian were both in the wedding party, so they were pretty busy planning the bachelor party and writing speeches for the reception. Martin tried his best not to be offended. He understood; they had all been friends for much longer than they’d been friends with him.

Still, it was hard watching the guy he was in love with fawning over the idiot who had blatantly taken advantage of his feelings in the past. There were times he found it difficult to stay sober – actually, that was most of the time when he was at the apartment, which was why he was practically living at Jack’s house. It was easier being around the constant atmosphere of happiness and immersing himself in it than it was to admit that he was ridiculously, insanely jealous. Ever since the night he and Zack had kissed, there was that sick little glimmer of hope in his heart that maybe Zack would realize they were perfect for each other, after all, but it never happened. No matter how miserable Rian made him, Zack always stayed.

“Earth to Martin,” Jack said, snapping him out of his daydream. “Did you talk to the guy from the hall to see how early we can get there?”

Martin glanced down at his notebook. “He said nine at the very earliest. I know that’s cutting it close, but I honestly think that’s the best we’re going to get. You know, if you wanted a shotgun wedding, you guys could have just gone to Vegas like normal people. Have Zack and... you know... got the bachelor party figured out yet?”

Jack made a face. “Alex said no strippers. He’s being ridiculous.”

“You guys are having a combined party, Jack. Of course he doesn’t want any hot, naked men grinding on his future husband the night before the wedding,” he pointed out politely. “Especially when you guys haven’t even had sex yet. I would think that it’s pretty much a given that you’re not having strippers. Unless you want to get one for me, ‘cause I think I’m going to need one.”

Alex shouted from the kitchen, “Tell Martin to stop pining after Zack and move on already!”

Martin groaned. It had been almost ten minutes since he’d thought about it. “Fuck you, Alex! Keep it up and I’ll order an entire stripper army just to spite you and pay them all to give Jack lap dances the entire night.” Alex stormed in, brandishing a spatula at him. “Whoa, don’t hit me with that thing.”

Jack rolled his eyes. “Baby, you know I would refuse them all. As soon as the alcohol hits my bloodstream all I want to do is make out with you anyway. So! You’ve got nothing to worry about. Maybe Martin does have a point, though... I don’t want him, like, sitting in the corner being all ‘forever alone’ the entire evening. Oh! I know! We’ll set him up with a date.” Jack squealed happily, thumbing through the contacts in his iPhone for a suitable match. “This is the best idea I’ve ever had!”

“That is the opposite of a good idea,” Martin protested. “I don’t want a date. I’ll just... hang out at home and wallow. Maybe I’ll even watch sad movies. You don’t have to worry about me, guys. Seriously. I do not want a date, Jack. That is the worst idea you have ever had.”

Alex curled up next to Jack on the couch. “You know, it’s not such a bad idea. Either you might end up actually liking the dude, or Zack will be overcome by a surge of jealousy and confess his undying love for you or something. And I’m not just saying that because I’m marrying him. It is a really good idea.”

“I hate you both,” said Martin. He couldn’t help feeling that this was a completely terrible idea; what if Zack mistakenly thought that he was, like, interested in whoever they set him up with? He knew how shy Zack could be at times. Plus... he definitely did not have the same taste in guys as Alex and Jack – normally a good thing, but something that could potentially backfire on him now. At least he would have someone to make nasty comments to as everyone around him got progressively more drunk as the night went on...

**

Things evolved into chaos rather rapidly, as they tended to do whenever the boys of All Time Low partied. Zack was attempting to keep things under control, picking up beer bottles before they got broken and keeping potted plants out of Vinny’s reach. He was starting to wish he’d just let Rian plan it, but he stupidly thought that it would be something fun for them to do together, hosting Alex and Jack’s bachelor party. Rian was totally smashed, leaving him to do all the actual work. Why was he surprised? It was what always happened. Even in the bedroom, Zack felt like it was his responsibility to keep Rian satisfied all the time. He always had to buy the condoms –which was small in the grand scheme of things – but he found it really annoying that Rian couldn’t even be bothered to do it, since he was the one that wanted to have sex all the time. Was it honestly that difficult to remember to pick some up at the store when they ran out?

Out of the corner of his eye he caught a glimpse of Martin deep in conversation with someone. Well, that made a grand total of two sober people in the building. Maybe Martin would give him a hand cleaning up later... It would be nice, since his own boyfriend was clearly too inebriated to do anything besides sit on the couch making dumb jokes with Evan. Wait... On second glance, Zack realized two things. First: Martin was most definitely not sober, and second – he couldn’t believe it when he saw – Martin had his tongue down the throat of none other than John O’Callaghan. How the fuck did that work? He wasn’t sure which event had preceded the other, but three things he knew for certain. One, he was going to cut John’s dick off for touching Martin. Two, he was really pissed at Martin for drinking when he had been doing so well. And three? That should have been obvious.

He was stupidly, outrageously, feel-it-in-his bones jealous. He felt like crying. The two people he had been sure he could rely on for anything were letting him down big-time tonight. Alex and Jack had scuttled off to some corner somewhere to make out, so he couldn’t even complain to them about it. Come to think of it, he was relatively sure that it was Jack’s fault this had happened to begin with, so he was kind of mad at Jack too. Of all the stupid ideas he’d ever had, this was by far the stupidest. Someone like Martin should not be with someone like... that. For one, he was basically a giant man-whore, not to mention borderline alcoholic and a compulsive liar. What did Martin even see in him? He needed air. He needed to think.

And he really, really needed to be anywhere but here. He needed to not see that stupid purple hoodie and he definitely needed to stop thinking about what it would be like if it were him instead of John. It wasn’t going to happen. He was with Rian. He made a choice; he was going to stick to it. If Martin wanted to pursue John, that was his decision. Zack couldn’t do anything to change it. So he sat there for a while, on Jack’s porch, with his head in his hands, just thinking. Martin was one of his best friends. It wouldn’t do anyone any good if he let one stupid kiss ruin what was basically a good friendship. After all, Martin was clearly over it.