The Way It Played Out

For the next few weeks, everything was perfect. Tour was great, the guys were fun, and Bill was great at playing the perfect husband.
But all good things must end.
At the show in Chicago, the last one on tour, Joe Trohman’s cousin went to see the set.
“Hi, I’m Nova.” Smiled the tall, slim girl, her blonde hair shimmering even in the low light.
Her dark brown eyes seemed to captivate every guy who looked into them, and they couldn’t keep their eyes off her v neck t and Daisy Dukes.
“I’m Amaya.” I grinned back, hugging her, and the other guys followed suit with introductions and hugs.
I watched the set from the merch booth, and couldn’t help but notice that Bill was talking to Nova the entire time he wasn’t onstage. I also found out it was him- not Joe, but Bill- who invited her to hang out at our buses the night before we headed home.
The whole time everyone hung out, everyone noticed that Bill was practically glued to Nova. He didn’t even look at me. They all saw how I was very confused, and rather shocked to be suddenly ignored so completely by someone who was pretending to be my husband just hours before.
“You ok?” Mike asked quietly, pulling me over to sit between him and Bden.
“Yeah, I’m glad he found someone he likes, but… I didn’t think he’d just… ignore me like this when he found someone.” I said, hurt. “We’re best friends.”
“I’m sure he’ll get over this quickly, he’s just obsessed with the hottie.” Mike tried to reassure me, and Bden nodded, putting an arm around my shoulders. “He won’t ignore you forever.”
I met Mike’s gaze and saw he was completely convinced of this, and nodded, wishing I believed it as well.
A few weeks had passed, and Bill and I had broken up ‘divorced’ for the paparazzi. I wound up moving into Mike’s new apartment with him, as Bill and Nova started going out and got serious quickly.
In all the time Bill had known Nova, he’d stopped talking to me except for the occasional ‘hello’ when we saw each other- mostly when he came to get Mike and the other guys, who I was always hanging out with, for band practice. Whenever I tagged along to watch, Nova was there, too, being sickeningly sweet with Bill.
“Is this what you had to put up with when we were faking it?” I muttered to Sisky as Bill and Nova acted so cute I wanted to blow chunks.
“Yeah, but I liked it more when it was you instead of Nova.” Sisky sighed.
I gave him a shocked look.
“We all did.” Michael admitted, staring at the couple sullenly.
When Bill and I had decided to officially ‘end it’, he’d said we’d just be best friends. Not best friends with benefits, but best friends.
But he’d wound up forgetting all about me.
Time passed, and Nova moved in with Bill, who was spending more and more time with his girlfriend. He was even ditching the guys to hang out with her now, and she was all he ever talked about.
He didn’t talk to me at all.
Living with Mike was great, and he was a ton of fun, but it wasn’t like living with Bill.
Everything with Bill had felt so easy, so natural, like breathing. Without him in my life at all, it felt like I was missing something vital, like someone had walked away with my lungs or something.
I stopped going to the TAI rehearsals, just stayed home and sketched. My sketches weren’t of people having fun anymore, they weren’t from photos. I’d stopped taking pictures, too. The few sketches I did were of people crying, people alone, people at funerals.
Nothing happy.
I let my hair start to get long, and dyed out the streaks so my hair was solid black. I stopped caring about it, barely brushing out the knots before deciding I was ready to face the day. Even my style changed, as my tight skinnies and fitted t’s were replaced by boot cut jeans and guy t’s.
“Amaya, can I talk to you?” Mike asked, but all I had to do was look at his face and I knew what was coming. “We’re going on tour again with Panic! and Cobra.” He said sullenly.
I looked up from the couch cushion I’d been picking at, meeting his gaze. “Nova’s going, isn’t she?”
Mike gave me an incredibly sad look and nodded. “Yeah. She’s gonna be our merch girl this time.” He confirmed quietly. “The Butcher, Sisky, Michael and I all wanted to bring you, but… we can’t screw with Bill’s lovelife. We can’t do that to him.” Mike ran a hand down his face, clearly upset.
“It’s ok. I’m glad he found someone he likes that much.” I replied monotonously.
“I wish he’d realize you’re the girl for him.” Mike sighed, and I stared at him.
“Why? Y’know, Sisky and Michael said the same thing.” I said thoughtfully.
“Did you see how happy you made him? You should have heard him after that fake date of yours. He just went on and on about how perfect you are.” Mike shook his head. “We all like you, too. You’re modest, happy, fun, random, and you like everybody. You put everybody else first and don’t seem to care when people walk all over you. We approved, and we told Bill that.” Mike paused, staring off into space as I blinked at him.
“But Nova’s perfect.” I sighed, staring at the floor.
“I want to hate her, but there really isn’t a valid reason for me to do that.” Mike agreed somberly. “I just hate the fact that she pushed you out of our lives so completely. The guys and I miss seeing you at practices.”
“I’ll start tagging along, ‘cause I miss going. I’m just… I miss my best friend. He promised we’d still be besties, but he hasn’t even talked to me since he got with Nova. He barely looks at me when he does see me.”
“I know, but guys are assholes. He’ll figure out he needs you as soon as Nova breaks his heart.” Mike grinned halfheartedly at me.
“I don’t think she will.” I said, and Mike’s grin faded.

||Would you believe me if I said I didn’t need you? ‘Cause I wouldn’t believe you if you said the same to me||