We've Lost Control

Pre-Warped rehearsal day was over and the official first day had started. A Rocket to the Moon was playing second on the Smartpunk stage, so they had to get themselves there early. I was sitting inside the fenced in area on one of Rocket’s road cases with my new Canon SLR hanging from my neck while I scanned the set times for that day. Nick was moving around the area, putting together their stand that had their EP’s cover on them when I gasped loudly. His head immediately turned in my direction and he dropped the plastic tubes he was connecting.

“What? What’s wrong? What happened?” He asked frantically as he raced to my side. It was cute how concerned he had gotten.

“You didn’t tell me that LIGHTS was on Warped!” I exclaimed as I turned the paper over and pointed to her name next to Rocket’s.

He rolled his eyes then went back to what he was doing. “Wow, Sawyer, I thought you got hurt or something.”

This time I rolled my eyes, “What could I possibly do to hurt myself while I’m sitting on a box?” I asked with the excitement completely gone from my voice. He ignored my question, so I went back to looking at the paper. “She’s playing on the stage next to this one right after you.” I smiled brightly. “I’m so stoked right now.”

“You know, I used to talk to her all the time on Myspace. We had each other in our top friends.” Nick spoke up as he continued to build the stand, not even glancing at me. I just looked at him in a mix between shock and blankness “I’ve never met her, though. I bet she’s nice.” He got the stand put together and stood it up, “Ha!” He exclaimed triumphantly and I chuckled.

“Wow, good job, Bub.”

He turned and shot me a dirty look, “It’s not as easy as it looks.”

I stood up from the box since Dear and the Headlights were done packing up their stuff and it was bound to get wheeled up on stage soon. “It’s probably just like building a tent.” I said as I put my hands on my hips.

“Is Sawyer putting you in your place, Nick?” Justin asked as he entered the fenced in area with Andrew trailing close behind.

“Damn right I am; it’s what I’m here for.” I stated firmly. The three of them looked at me for a second before they all erupted into laughter at the same time. I shook my head then turned my camera on as their laughter died down. Bringing the camera up to my right eye, I pointed it at the three bandmates discussing something and clicked. ‘I might as well get some kind of use of the tour’ I thought to myself.

“We’re going on stage to set up.” Nick brought me out of my daze and I nodded.

“All right.” I smiled then went back to looking at my pictures saved on my camera. It was a new camera, so there weren’t many. I had gotten it as a graduation gift from my parents and had immediately tested it out on Nick when we got home, so there were quite a few pictures of him on it already.

A couple minutes later, Nick came down from the stage and gently took the camera out of my hands and let it hang from my neck. He had his guitar strapped on and a smile plastered on his face. “We’re going to go on right now, so you should get out there.” He continued to smile.

“All right,” I smiled back, “I’ll be right in front of you the whole entire time.”

“Okay, I’ll be the one up there smiling at you the whole entire time.” He mocked and I chuckled.

“Mmk, Creeper.” I said then kissed him, “Good luck. Have a good time.” And just like that he was gone to do his job.

They had a good set, a really good set. During the first song, though, Halvo ended up tripping over Nick’s chord and falling flat on his back. I got some pretty good pictures and a few nasty glares from some of the girls in the first couple of rows, but I was kind of expecting it.

I talked to Nick and the guys for a few minutes before I walked over to the media pit for the hurley.com stage. Nick told me he would have gone with me, but he had to go to the tent to meet his fans. He promised me, though, to watch her set with me the day after in San Francisco.

LIGHTS’ set was amazing. I left during the middle of her last song, so I could meet her when she got offstage. My heartbeat picked up when I saw her coming down the stairs to the grass with her keytar still strapped across her shoulder.

“Hi, I’m Sawyer.” I said nervously.

She smiled at me, “I’m Lights.” She introduced herself while I resisted the urge to say “I know.”

“You were amazing up there. I’m pretty excited that you’re on Warped Tour.”

She continued to smile, “Oh, so am I. Are you on Warped or are you just here for today?” She asked as she packed her keytar into the case.

“Oh, I’m touring with A Rocket to the Moon.” I replied and she quickly turned and looked at me.

“Oh really? I know them.” She smiled brightly.

I chuckled, “Nick was telling me before they went on. I was kind of freaking out because I didn’t know you were playing until before Rocket’s set.” I couldn’t believe how much I was rambling and all that I was telling her. Oh, God.

Smile still placed on her lips, she chuckled, “Awh, that’s so sweet.” She pulled her long hair over one shoulder and fanned herself. “So are you one of the guys’ sister or something?” She questioned then dropped her hands down to the hips.

I laughed loudly then quickly shut my mouth after seeing her shocked reaction, “Sorry.” I apologized quietly. “I’m not related to any of them. I’m actually, uhm,” I cleared my throat, “married to Nick.”

He eyes widened considerably, “Whoa!” She laughed, “I definitely was not expecting that.” She laughed again and I joined.

“No one really is when I tell them.”

She was about to say something, but was gut off by a guy who I presumed was someone in her crew, “Lights, you have to get to your tent in time for the signing.” He said and she nodded at him then turned back to me.

“I’m sorry, but I have to go. I’m sure I’ll see you around, though.” She smiled again and I returned it.

“It was nice meeting you.” I said genuinely.

“You too!” She said before rushing off with the guy from before.
---
I stopped by Rocket’s tent to see if any of the members were there, but only Bam was lounging in the heat. He told me that the guys went back to the bus to beat the heat. Pussies.

Fighting my way through the crowd, I quickly navigated my way to the bus. It was quiet for a change which confused me. The front lounge was already a mess from the one night we spent on it, but I didn’t expect anything less. I walked through the bunks, seeing all of the curtains pulled back with no bodies in any of them.

Even more confused, I walked to the very back and saw the boy I called my husband lying on his back on the sofa with his arm draped over his eyes. He was missing his shirt, though, displaying his pale skin and chest tattoo.

“How could you possibly be that hot already?” I asked loudly. He jolted up, uncovering his face and looking at me in bewilderment. “You live in California now, Nick. Get used to it.” I smirked in amusement.

“Jesus Christ! You scared the shit out of me.” He breathed heavily, clutching his chest where he heard lied underneath his flesh and ribcage.

I smiled sweetly at him, “Sorry.”

He leaned forward and grabbed me by the waist then brought me down into his lap while I squealed in surprise. “How was the set?” He asked after he locked his arms around my waist and put his head on my shoulder.

“Amazing, just as I suspected.” I gushed. “How was the signing?” I asked, turning a bit so I could see the side of his face.

“Hot.” He said with a grimace causing me to laugh.

“Babe, you’re on Warped Tour, get used to it.” I said then tapped his cheek twice with the palm of my hand. In response, his face scrunched up.

“So what now?” He asked after he placed a light kiss on my bare shoulder.

“Uh, well, I was thinking that I want to watch Breathe Carolina at 4:30. Do you want to come with me?” I asked with a glint of hope in my eyes.

“I think we might have a signing at the Music Saves Lives tent.”

I frowned, “Well, what do you want to do until then?” I asked and he shrugged.

“Lay here and take a nap.” He said then leaned back down on his back, bringing me with him which made me squeal again. He was really going to get it.

“There’s people out there that want to see you, Boy!” I said sternly to which he groaned.

“But it’s hot.” He whined with his eyes clamped shut.

“So you’re just going to hide out in your bus all tour?” He was beginning to upset me.

He nodded into the crook of my neck. I pried his arms away from my waist and got up. “Where are you going?” He whined again.

“Well, I really don’t want to stay on this damn bus all day, so come find me if you change your mind.” I said then made my way to the front of the bus. I heard Nick groan, but he didn’t make an effort to stop or some with me. That boy was really beginning to piss me off.
---
Outside, I walked back through the buses and through the gates to the fairgrounds. I walked around merch alley and stopped off at Jac Vanek’s tent to see what she was selling. Next, I stopped off at The Maine’s tent and said hey to Kennedy, who was lounging in the shade with their merchguy Vito. After, I stopped to see what kind of merch LIGHTS had and ended up buying a hoodie despite the ridiculous heat I knew I would be enduring. In the end, I wandered over to Rocket’s tent and sat down in an empty lawn chair next to Bam.

“It’s fucking hot out here.” He said then rubbed a hand over his face.

I chuckled, “It’s just going to get worse as the days go by.”

He groaned, “I’m glad you’re here to make everything easier, Sawyer.” He sarcastically said.

I laughed again then was brought back to reality by a group of girls a bit younger than me walking up to the table. I looked at Bam, who in return looked at me with pleading eyes. Sighing, I stood up and walked closer to the table.

“Can I get you anything?” I asked sweetly. I had a “professional” voice reserved for situations where I dealt with people I didn’t know but couldn’t be rude to.

“Yeah, can I get the “My Love Is On Your Side” shirt in a small?” A petite blonde asked me just as sweetly.

I nodded then leaned down to the tub with the shirt in it and pulled out a size small. “Is that it?” I asked and she nodded. “Okay, that’s twenty dollars.” I said and she pulled out her wallet from her cross body bag.

While I was waiting for her to give me the money, her friend with short dark choppy hair spoke up, “Are you dating Nick?” She asked, catching me completely off guard. It never really crossed my mind to let their fans know about our relationship, so I completely blanked with what to say. Luckily, she kept talking so I didn’t give anything away. “Cause I saw you two before they went on and you guys were kissing.” Wow, this girl really didn’t care if she was rude or not.

“Uhm, yeah, we’re dating.” I asked then took the money from the blonde. The rude girl looked me up and down and suddenly I didn’t feel as confident as I had before.

“Come on, Renee” The blonde said then dragged her by the arm and pulled her away, but not before casting me an apologetic look. I just shrugged at her in response.

Once they were gone, I turned and looked at Bam, who was trying not to laugh. “What have I gotten myself into?” I asked more to myself than to Bam.

“Girls go crazy for Nick Santino.” He said through a laugh and I groaned as I sat back down in the chair. “Imagine the chaos amongst the fans that will ensue when they find out you’re married.” He laughed while I sighed and plopped back into my seat.
---
The time was drawing closer to 4:30 and I was beginning to get ready to make my way over to the Hurley stage to watch Breathe Carolina’s set. I hadn’t seen them live since they opened for Pierce The Veil back in November, so I was pretty excited.

“All right Bam, I’ll come back over here when their set is over.” I said as I put my bag on my shoulder.

“Where are you going?” I heard Nick ask as he walked up to the tent.

I turned and looked at him. He had put on a white vneck since the last time I had seen him and he was wearing a pair of white Ray Bans. “To Breathe Carolina’s set. I told you I was going over there.” I was a bit annoyed with him and my tone of voice showed it.

“Well maybe you should let Bam take a break for a while. He’s been out here all day.”

Immediately, I began fuming, “I’m sure Bam can stick it out for another fourty-five minutes.” I replied after I narrowed my eyes at him.

“No, I’m pretty sure Bam is melting in the sun.” He said a bit peeved. I looked at Bam, who was sitting where he’d been sitting all day looking perfectly fine. I raised an eyebrow at him and he shrugged.

“Well I’m here to take pictures like we agreed on.” I crossed my arms and turned back to Nick.

“No, I thought we’d agreed on you selling merch when Bam needed a break and taking pictures.”

The nerve of this guy! “Well I thought we agreed you weren’t going to be such a jerk about me hanging out with Breathe Carolina!” I yelled completely angered.

“Hey!” Britton yelled, breaking us out of our staring contest we had began when we first started firing things back and for at each other. “Stop fighting. Sawyer, watch the tent for a bit. Nick, get our ass to the Music Saves Lives tent.” He said harshly. Nick smirked and walked away while I sighed angrily and plopped down in my chair.

I was extremely pissed off. How dare he do that! He had absolutely no right to dictate what I could and could not do!

With a scowl set perfectly on my face, I turned and looked at Bam. He was looking at my sympathetically causing me to roll my eyes then growl out “Go take your fucking break.” He immediately jumped up then ran off. Boy was Nick going to get it tonight.
---
At around 5:45, Nick came back to the tent. I was still pissed off at him for what he had done, so I planned on ignoring him. I had no intention on giving in.

“Hey,” He said softly to which I looked up and nodded. “I’m going to go watch A Cursive Memory on the Glasshouse stage, do you want to come?” He asked and I resisted the urge to scoff.

‘’No, I’m good.” I replied with a tight smile.

His smile dropped, “Why not?” He questioned and I shrugged.

“I have to do merch since I’m your guys’ merchbitch.” I said with a bit of attitude.

“Oh, come on Sawyer. Bam is here.” He said as he gestured with his hand over at the boy with the long black hair.

I shrugged again, “He might want to take a break.” What I was doing was a bitchy thing to do, but he deserved bitchy after what he had done the last day and a half.

Nick rolled his eyes, “Whatever Sawyer.” He said then stalked off. I smirked in response to him storming off upset; I had won.

“That was kind of harsh.” Bam said and my smirk fell.

I turned and scoffed, “He’s been an ass the past two days.” I defended myself. “He’s being stupid about this whole Breathe Carolina thing. So what if I have friends? It’s not like I’m just going to be attached to him and only be friends with his friends. If he expects me to drop all of my friends then maybe we should rethink this relationship.” I ranted, not sure if I even meant anything I had said.

He chuckled, “So what, just like that you’re going to get a divorce?” He asked.

“Maybe!” I exclaimed. My head really wasn’t in the right place.

He shook his head at me, “That’s childish and you know it. Just talk to him about it.” He said then started straightening out the shirts hanging from the set up behind us.

I rolled my eyes, and got up, “I have talked to him about it and so far he’s been an ass even though he said he’d stop.”

“He’s just trying to protect you. He doesn’t want to lose you.” He said while I grabbed my camera bag.

I shook my head as I made the decision that I was done with our conversation. “I’m going to walk around.” I said then walked away before he could say anything in response.
---
I found myself at Breathe Carolina’s tent where Kyle and their touring keytarist Joshua AKA Sauce were sitting hanging out.

“Hey!” Kyle smiled as I walked up.

“Hi.” I said glumly as I pulled the strap of my bag off of my shoulder and set it on their table.

“Why the long face?” Joshua asked causing me to sigh. Where to begin?

“My husband is a grade A jackass.” I said in an upset tone.

“Oh! Kyle told me you married the singer from A Rocket to the Moon!” I nodded at him with a frown on my face.

“What did he do now?” Kyle asked ignoring Joshua completely. He just wanted to know why I was upset. I loved having him as a friend.

“He made me watch the tent while you guys were playing. I really wanted to watch you guys and get some pictures, but my lovely husband decided he didn’t want me to.”

Joshua’s mouth dropped open, “What a fucking asshole.” He said in disgust.

I didn’t even care that he was talking about Nick; he was an asshole. At least someone else agreed with me. “I don’t understand why he’s so jealous.”

“It’s cause we’re so fucking sexy.” Joshua said then wiggled his eyebrows at me.

I snorted and shook my head in amusement, "Keep telling yourself that, Sauce. Sexy isn’t being able to see your whole collarbone.” I said then leaned forward and poked his collarbone.

He jerked away in response, “Hey!” He cried as he rubbed the skin above his protruding bone. “Have you seen your husband?” He retorted.

I raised an eyebrow, “I’ve seen all of him if you catch my drift.” I smirked.

They both smirked in return. “Glad to know you have an active sex life.” Kyle said sarcastically and I laughed.

“Sawyer,” I heard the voice of my beloved say. I turned to my left and saw Nick. “can I talk to you?” He questioned.

I glanced back at the boys behind the table then sighed, “I’m busy, Nick, can this wait?” I asked, getting annoyed all over again.

“No, this can’t.” He said sternly.

I turned to Kyle and Sauce and smiled apologetically, “Sorry guys, I’ll talk to you later. And I promise I’ll watch your set tomorrow.” I smiled genuinely at them as I picked up my bag and put it back no my shoulder.

“You better, Girlie!” Kyle yelled as I walked away.

As I walked, Nick tried to lace his fingers between mine, but I ripped my hand away. “Don’t touch me.” I seethed causing him to sigh sadly.

We pushed our way through the crowd of Warped attendees trying to get somewhere less crowded. I walked ahead of him, trying to make as much distance between us as I could, but every time I looked back he was right there.

“What could possibly be that important that you had to pull me away from my friends yet again?” I asked angrily once we were behind the fenced in area where the buses were.

He stopped walking and crashed his lips down onto mine. Quickly, I pulled away and scowled at him. “No!” I yelled “Don’t you dare kiss me right now! I am still upset and mad at you. You don’t deserve anything like that from me because you’re being a complete fucktard!” I scolded and he frowned.

“Sawyer, I’m sorry for what stupid things I’ve done today. You didn’t deserve any of it because you’ve done nothing.” I nodded at his words, agreeing with him. “I just can’t help it. The thought of you being friends with them doesn’t sit well with me.”

I rolled my eyes and scoffed at his words, “I was friends with them a lot longer before I met you; there’s nothing to freak out about; they’ve been nothing but good to me. Plus, it doesn’t matter if it sits well or not because it’s my life and you can’t control it. We may be married, but if you even try to control my life, you can bet your ass that I’ll be leaving. I will not be in abusive relationship no matter how much I love you.” I said then walked away.

I hoped what I had said clicked in his head because everything that came out of my mouth was 100% true. I really loved him, but having him control things in my life like my friends wasn’t sitting with me too well.