She Used to Be a Pearl

"John?" She asked quietly.

"Caty, oh god, I- I've missed you somuch." I slurred, still on the medication from my surgery.

"Really?" I heard her ask.

"I need you-you. I...said all that mean stuff and I-I didn't I swear to god I didn't mean that shit. I love you. Please still love me?"

"John, I love you more than you know but you were right. I'm no good for you. You should have a girlfriend that you don't need to babysit. I'm sorry, John."

Then she hung up.

"No! Nooo, Kenny. No!" I groaned.

"What'd she say?" He asked.

"She said I don't need to babysit her anymore. She's never coming back!"

"John calm down!" He shushed.

"Fuck you! Go run and call Amanda. At least you have someone who loves you." I wailed.

"Dude, you know Amanda and I aren't dating."

"You might as well be. You both love each other. Nobody loves me anymore."

"Caty loves you, she's just scared."

"She's scared of me!"

"No, dude-"

"Yes! I yelled at her! I made her cry!"

Just then a nurse came into the room.

"Mr. O'Callaghan, is everything alright in here?" She asked.

"No! I need Caty!" I cried.

She looked to Kennedy with a confused expression.

Kennedy whispered to her and she nodded.

"I'm sorry but I'm just going to change your meds right now. Are you feeling any pain?" She asked.

"Yes, my heart's broken." I told her as I sobered up a bit, moving past my slurring but still not thinking clearly.

"I'm sorry, hun." She said giving me a sympathetic look and left the room after messing with the IV bags.

"I'm so stupid. I'm so fucking dumb."

---------------------------------------------------

"I told you he missed you! What the hell did you do?" Amanda screeched.

"He doesn't need me, Manda." I sighed.

"Oh my god. You are the stupidest girl in the world, Caty! People would kill to feel the kind of love that you do and you're pushing it away because 'you don't deserve him'. Grow up already! He loves you, you love him!"

"He's so great, though. He could find any girl who will show him so much more love then I ever did." I said.

"Okay, you wanna play that game?" She said as she pulled out her phone. "Look at this picture Kenny sent me."

She held the screen up to my face and I teared up at the picture perfect moment.

It was me sleeping on John's chest. Instead of him also being asleep he was pressing his lips to my forehead lovingly.

"Kenny texted me this when I told him I wished I could be there to see you guys." She said softly as she realized she upset me. "You're the only one he wants. In all the years I've know John, I've never seen him look that happy. Please go back to him."

"It's not that simple..." I sighed. "I messed up. I looked through his phone. He got really mad. I can't get the image of him screaming out of my head. If I had never looked through his phone then none of this would be happening!"

"Quit blaming yourself! John has a bad temper, but after he blows up at people he realizes he was wrong. Didn't you hear the way he was talking to you on the phone? Kenny says he misses you like crazy! Please just consider going back?" She pleaded.

I looked up from the ground and sighed.

"I'll think about it."