You've Made Your Bed

“Wake up” Alex whined, his hand came round to slap me in the face.

“Blurgh” I groaned punching him with my eyes still closed, I heard him wince beside me before getting out of bed and leaving the room. A couple of minutes later I felt a cold splash all over my body and a little giggle, “You’ve got to be kidding me” I cried rolling out of bed and pulling my t-shirt away from my body, as it was wet it was sticking to me all over and showing my nipples.

“Hah, nice top. HEY JACK” Alex called; I frowned and hit him upside the head before running into the bathroom and swapping my t-shirt for a warm jumper. Josh’s jumper. It had been exactly two years and three months since I had spoken to Josh, in those two and a bit years, I’d given birth to mine and Josh’s baby. It happened to be a little boy and I had happily named it Zackary Aiden James Foxx. Well, it was Franceschi but I called him Foxx with people I didn’t know, I didn’t want questions being asked. It was however Franceschi on his passport and birth certificate.

After I’d found out Josh had been cheating on me, I ran away. I’d promised Max I’d keep in contact with him but it just hurt too much, speaking to Max reminded me of Josh, and thinking about Josh just made me ache. I never did stop loving him though, especially when I gave birth to Zacky.

Zacky was a spitting image of his dad; he had his bright blue eyes that glistened every time he was in a good mood, he had his messy dark brown hair that was always so soft. But there was one thing he had that reminded me of Josh every day; his smile. Josh had a wonky smile, it wasn’t horrible at all, it was the most adorable thing ever especially when he was full on smiling with teeth and everything.

“We need to go wal-mart” Alex mumbled coming in and scratching his head, “We have no food and I’m out of shampoo and conditioner”

“You’re such a girl Lex” I chuckled; he rolled his eyes and went up to Jack wrapping his arm around his waist. “You guys are such a cute couple” I smirked, “I swear to god, I just want to hug you both so tightly”.

The two boys raised their eyebrows, “MUMMY” Zacky yelled running into the room with his arms out and a crayon in his mouth.

“Are you joking?” I groaned, I picked Zacky up and pulled the crayon out of his mouth, “How many times have I told you not to put crayons in your mouth Zackary!” I scolded, he pouted at me, his eyes filling with tears. “Baby, don’t cry. Mummy’s not angry, she just doesn’t want you chocking on something” I whispered swaying him in my arms, his tears instantly left his eyes.

“Come on, get in the car” Jack yelled from outside, all of us laughed at how loud he was.
I placed Zacky on the kitchen counter and picked his baby converse up before putting them on his feet. I grabbed his mini beanie from the kitchen draw (don’t ask why it’s there) and put it on his head before smoothing his shirt and trousers. I walked up to the car with Zacky clinging to my hip, I slid into the back of the car and buckled Zacky in next to me.

“TO WAL-MART” Alex sang as Jack sped out of the driveway. When I found out about Josh I’d ran to Alex and Jack for comfort as they were the only people I knew that weren’t members of Josh’s band. After crying for weeks, they offered me a place to stay in America. I know what you’re thinking, America, big change of scenery. It was and I struggled at first, but a year on I decided I didn’t want to move back to England with Zacky because I wouldn’t know how to cope on my own; I’d been relying on Jack and Alex too much.

Not like I wanted to move back to England. Josh was there.

“Mummy” Zacky said hitting my leg lightly with his tiny hand, “We’re here”. I smiled at him before getting out of the car, I walked over to his car door and helped him out. “Up mummy” He giggled his fingers clenching as he tried to make me pick him up.

“You’re going to get fat if you keep making me carry you”

“No I’m not mummy” Zacky huffed, I frowned at him and crossed my arms.

“Don’t you dare sulk, your face will crease and then you’ll look old” I said sternly, Zacky looked at the floor and nodded.

“Sorry mummy” He whispered, “CAN YOU CARRY ME NOW?”

“Oh for god sake Zackary. I’m not carrying you again though, this is the last time” I sighed, I lifted him and balanced him on my hip while Alex and Jack went to get a trolley. Once they’d got it I lifted Zacky off me and placed him in the trolley seat. We all walked into the supermarket, me pushing the trolley while Jack and Alex held hands.

“You need to get a boyfriend” Jack commented, I turned around with a pissed off expression.

“What?”

“I’m sick of seeing you on your own. I can see the way you’re looking at all these couples. Surely you’re not still holding a grudge against straight men because of what Josh done?” Jack complained, I stuck my tongue out at him before gliding off faster.

“Real mature”

“Haha, I know right” I smirked, I slid over to the chocolate and sweet isle and started to look at the food. I could see Zacky basically dribbling, I’m not sure who he got his sweet tooth from considering Josh would eat sweets until he threw up while I sat there eating chocolate and laughing. I grabbed a packs of Kit Kats, Flakes, Cadburys caramel and some magic stars. I also threw in some haribo’s and other chocolate that looked really good.

My phone started to ring, “I can’t even go shopping without someone phoning” I gasped pulling my phone out my bra and sliding it open. “Yo” I greeted, I heard Rian and Zack chuckle, “I’m guessing I’m on speaker?”

“You guess right! Where are you guys?”

“Well, we’re in Wal-Mart right now buying lots and lots of fat food” I giggled, Zacky also laughed and started to play with the Kit Kats. “We left like half an hour ago, so we should be another half hour, is there something wrong?”

“No, not at all, we were just phoning to see where you were, it’s scary leaving you three and a baby alone, you’re not the most mature people” Zack laughed.

“Haha, Okay Zack, well I’m going to hang up now before you insult me more. LOVE YOUUUUU!” I sang.

“you too” Rian and Zack sang, I slid my phone closed and put it back in my bra.

“Josh, come on, get over it for fuck sake. She dumped you for that other bloke, who cares?” A voice came from behind me, I smirked and continued to listen. I was too nosey for my own good, “She’s a tart anyway, none of us liked her, we all know she was there to help you get over Lauren. Kat was a slag, end of”.

“Dan, just shut up” a voice growled back, that voice sounded all too familiar. I started to push the trolley quickly nearing the end of the isle. “I DON’T NEED YOU TELLING ME WHO’S RIGHT FOR ME AND WHO ISN’T” Josh yelled.

As I was about to reach the top of the aisle Max, Matt and Chris came running down it, arms filled with popcorn. I ducked my head down hoping to not be seen. “Excuse me?” please don’t be aimed at me, someone tapped my shoulder. Oh shit. Zacky giggled and waved at the person, “Do you know where the ice cream sauce is?”. I wanted to fling myself into Max’s arms and hug him tightly, I’d missed him so much.

“No” I whispered trying to disguise my voice with an accent.

“Isn’t it rude to look a- OH MY GOD” I froze at the sound of Matt’s voice, “La-Lauren?” he stuttered. I looked up slowly and stared at him, unable to finish a sentence in my mind that would sound remotely decent. My legs started to shake, my lips quivering. “JOSH!” Matt yelled, I tried to move around him with the trolley but they wouldn’t let me.

“Please let me go, I can’t see him” I whined, the guys shook their head.

“He’s been a state since you left him. Do us a favour and talk to him, not for him, but for us. That’s the least you can do, you promised us you would keep in contact, how do you think he feels not being able to see his son!”

“It’s his own fault Max!”

“Mummy” Zacky called, I turned to him and gave him a quick kiss on the forehead to reassure him everything was okay.

“What’s wrong?” Josh asked, I couldn’t turn around. I couldn’t face him.

“Josh, that’s Lauren and your son”

“Look Mat-”

“Lauren?” I turned to look at Josh to see him staring at me with pain in his eyes.