Living Our Lives So Irrationally

Days and eventually months past. My days started off being boring and wasteful until I gave in a found a job. Usually I helped out with the bands merch and what not but once Matt and I got together he wanted me to stop that because the fans were getting a little crazy and once they would have found out we were together they probably would have attacked me.
But they didn't find out.
He actually was going to tell the world after the tour they had returned from. But that obviously didn't happen.

I ended up getting a job at the music store. The guy who I ran into there, Jesse. Got me the job pretty quickly, under the circumstances that my secret; on who I was dating. Was kept hush hush. He agreed and I soon then found myself becoming close friends with him.

Today was my day off. And thinking back on the past few months I sighed. Jimmy noticed sitting across from me, looking up from the note book he had been writing in for over the past hour or more. He set it down as I turned away curled up on the couch in front of him. Staring out the window I heard him set the book down and get up walking over and sitting beside me.
“What's wrong?” he asked. I shrugged slowly turning to look at him. He gave me a 'don't be fucking kidding me something is up' glare. I huffed and gave in. “I want to know when are you going to tell them?” I asked. He gave me a confused look. “Tell who what?” I rolled my eyes starting to get pissed off now. “Tell you're fucking fans about us!” I snapped getting up. I wasn't in the mood for shit. “I don't know why does it matter?” he asked thinking more about, you could tell by the face he wore. “I don't know maybe because they'll be seeing me more around, I do plan on going on tour with you guys whenever that will be!” I spoke in a very sassy manner. He looked up to me glaring. “What the fuck is your problem, you don't need to be so damn fucking snappy!” He barked. He was now getting pissed off. Something unusually to say the least.
I crossed my arms over my chest standing there with a scowl on my face. “Can't I be once and awhile!?” “Jeez its not like you fucking control me!” I yelled shaking my head and walking off heading towards the bed room. “I never fucking said I controlled you Emily!” He yelled as I swung around and slammed the door in his face as he stood on the other side of it. “UGH!” “I JUST WANTED TO KNOW WHEN THEY'LL KNOW SO I CAN GET THE FUCKING HATE MAIL OUT OF MY WAY JAMES! PLUS THEY HAVE JUST A RIGHT TO KNOW AS DOES EVERYONE ELSE!” I screamed at the door which then flew open and he stood there in full rage. I looked back very surprised. I had never seen him this pissed off.
“WELL I'M FUCKING SORRY! I HAVEN'T HAD THE TIME TO FULLY THINK THAT THROUGH!” He snapped seething. I stood there silent for a moment. “Fine, but maybe you should give it some consideration” I spoke quietly. I grabbed my phone out of the room before walking past him and out the door.

We never fought. Matt and I always fought. But us, never. He hated it, and also, he wasn't the type to just start screaming at someone fully pissed off. I could be like that, why, it was just the way I was I supposed.

I looked down walking along the side walk which was out front of the apartment. I hated fighting when it was with him. Anyone else I probably wouldn't have gave a fuck but with Jimmy. I loved him too much.
But that's what I found hurt. Why hadn't he thought about it. His fans meant the world to him, and without them he wouldn't be in the position he was in at the moment, writing songs and singing, playing music for everyone. It was the fans who brought him this advantage. If it was me I'd tell the world or at least admit that the rumors were indeed true. I just felt left out in that section. And compared to music I didn't mean a whole lot. Or thats what I was thinking at the moment.

“Em..”
I turned around to see him standing in the lobby doors. I sighed and walked over to him. “Yeah” “Listen I'm sorry” he spoke softly and embraced me with a big hug. I held onto him and sighed again. “Its alright, I just feel left out and I still do think they should know, I really don't want to cause drama within' your band family” I admitted. Being in the way was the last thing I wanted to happen and I meant it. I didn't want to be left out but then again I didn't want to be a problem causer.
“You're not going to cause drama, and they'll either accept it or have to deal with it because you aren't going anywheres” I looked up to see him smiling. I smiled and kissed him. Finally a break through.

“How about we go back inside, its cold out here” he mentioned looking out into the darkness which was creeping up on us. I nodded and we walked back indoors heading back up to our home.

“So what song are you working on?” I asked sitting beside him looking down at the open note book had left on the table. “I don't know check it out” he picked up the book and handed it to me. “You seriously want me to look at this??” I asked surprised. I always knew him as the quiet type when it came to finishing songs. “Its almost finished and I want you to” he said nodding. “Ok”
My eyes fell onto the pages and my eyes gazed across the page. His words were true, completely true. And the way they rolled off the page was perfection.
I looked up once finishing and handed it to him.“Whatcha think?” he asked a little shy about it. “I really like it, although I like everything you write, you're amazing.” I smiled. He smiled and pulled me into his lap our lips connecting right away. “You're the amazing one” he murmured between kisses. I smiled. That couldn't have been true, but what was true was, the fact that I loved him, too much to even explain.