Living Our Lives So Irrationally

Through the day I could live with and usually ignore what the night before usually caused. But it was always awkward when they were around, when HE was around.

Like today. They held a meeting in town. I didn't go to it. No need for me, a friend of the band to attend. Even if I was to be wed to the lead singer very soon. I glanced down to the shiny stone which sat dead center of the white gold band on my second to the last, left finger. The ring was beautiful; stunning to say the least. I didn't deserve it though. After the weekly nightly affair I had been doing for the past few months. No way did I deserve something so valuable.

My gaze was broke to the chatter walking through the front door. They had arrived and this is were things would be awkward. Matt smiled walking into the kitchen, kissing my cheek before proceeding to the fridge grabbing a beer for his friends and himself. My eyes met with those clear bright blue ones which made me want to run over to him and kiss him in front of everyone. But I just simply smiled making it not so obvious that anything was happening between us. “Hey Em” he spoke. Taking the beer which was handed to him. “Fine thanks” I spoke before walking around the table and heading towards the stairs. “Well be outside!” Yelled Matt. The sleek sound of the sliding door opening was heard from the second level. I headed to the bathroom which was the second door to the right. Walking in and playing around with my dark brown straight hair. The sounds of footsteps walked closer to the open door and the tall figure which had confronted me earlier stood, leaning against the door frame. I batted my eyes over at him seeing him smiling watching me. I smirked turning quickly and I enclosed the space between us. Our lips attached and his arms wrapped around me. I slid my arms around his neck as he walked into the bathroom, closing the door with his foot and backed me into the sink. I pulled away from the kiss.

“What are we doing, he's going to find out!” I hissed staring wide eyed up at him. He smirked. “No he won't believe me, he's thinking too much about this tour” he said and kissed me hard on the lips. I pulled away. “Tour” I squeaked. I hated when they both left...
“I know sweetie, you hate me being so far away” he smiled and closed the gap between us again. His tongue traced my bottom lip and I rolled my eyes opening my mouth to let it roam inside. A moan escaped my mouth by mistake as his hands squeezed my ass and then he lifted me up on top of the counter. He tugged at my jean shorts, undoing the button and unzipping the zipper tugging them down and with a soft thud hit the floor. I felt cold chills as his hand ran up and down my thigh and my breath hitched as his fingers entered my wet core. He slowly ran them in and out. He his tongue left my mouth and his kisses traced down my neck as my head fell back. My eyes felt like they were rolling all around inside my head my mind wasn't thinking straight, this was what he always did to me, played with my mind. But the sad part was I fell for him. I loved him and needed him. These feelings weren't lustful, though this was a bad time for me to say which was what I needed and wanted because all I wanted right now was him to fuck me hard. I knew Matt loved me, was in love with me but I wasn't in love with Matt. I loved him, just wasn't in love with him. So I used him, like the whore I clearly was.

My stomach was starting to flip and I could tell the end was near. I let out a moan letting all the electric feelings run throughout my body like I was struck by lightning. He grinned kissing me again as he removed his fingers from my tight lower region.
“I love you” he kissed me. I kissed him hard back. “I love you too”

“Emily!?” My eyes snapped open. “We gotta go” I said the fog clearing and my mind racing along with my heart. I pushed him out of my way as I got down from the counter and slid on my shorts again. I opened the bathroom door and stepped out just in time to hear footsteps come up the stairs. Jimmy walked out of the bathroom just as Matt got to the top of the stairs. “Oh there you are” he smiled at me. “Here I am?” I said confused. Matt laughed and kissed me. “Come on, we're bought to get pizza” he said and snaked an arm around me leading me with him down stairs. I turned back to see Jimmy giving him a dirty look but once noticed me mouthed “I love you” I smiled to him and winked turning back to walk down the stairs.

night

I sighed happily sinking farther down into the bubbling hot tube I sat in alone. The night was cooling down and the sky was dark and clear. Hundreds of thousands of shining stars all above me. The back flooring lights were on so that when I was done I could head inside the house without fall over a lawn chair or into the pool. I closed my eyes lying back and enjoying my time alone. It wasn't until I heard the sliding doors open when I noticed I'd had company.

“Hey” his low sexy voice rang through my ear. I opened my eyes to see him with a towel and in his swim trunks on. He slowly got into the heated tub and swiftly moved over to where I sat. His fit body rubbing close against mine. He pulled me away from where I sat and made me straddle him so we switched spots. “So, in less than two weeks I'll be back on the road” he spoke. Moving a piece of hair that had fallen in my face out of the way. “I know” I said sadly. He gazed into my eyes and then our lips connected. It was different than when I kissed Jimmy, his best friend and band mate. It felt like I had to kiss Matt even if I liked it or not and it felt fake to me as well. Whenever I kissed his best friend I could feel that it meant something and didn't feel like some reality TV show kiss.

The kiss deepened though I was still not fully into it. He surely was though, how I wasn't sure but I only knew this because below me I could feel the growing erection appear between his legs. I rolled my eyes. He was getting excited over leaving me? Now I should have be the one suspicious of something.