Status: Completed
Take A Picture (It'll Last Longer)
Amy
“Amy?” Elle and I said at the same time.
“I suppose your wife doesn’t even know you have a sister,” Amy hissed at Ben. Suddenly I saw it.
“No… I know he has a sister…” I said. “It’s just… you have a bob cut now and in all the pictures he has of you your hair is long.”
“Oh,” Amy faltered. She turned back to Ben, pointing at me. “Who is this girl anyway?”
“I think you should go,” I whispered to Elle.
“And miss this show?” Elle snorted.
“It’s my wife,” Ben shrugged. “Catt?” Suddenly, Amy’s eyes seemed to look at me with a gaze of recognition.
“Catt… oh! Catt from Northwestern Catt!” Amy nodded. “I remember you telling me about her.”
“You told your sister about me?” I said to Ben. Honestly, I didn’t know the two of them talked about anything other than where Ben was going to wire her money.
“Come on Ben,” Amy sighed, “you date a girl for five years. I can understand why you would want to marry her, but you could have at least invited me to the wedding!”
“Whoa… we didn’t date for five years,” I said, looking at Ben annoyed.
“You said the two of you started dating when you went to Northwestern,” Amy said to Ben accusingly.
“I’m going to go,” Elle said before slipping out the door.
“Well… I…” Ben said, nervously scratching the back of his neck.
“You lied to one of us, Ben,” Amy snorted.
“He lied to you,” I said to her. “We didn’t start going out five years ago Ben! We never went out!”
“Then how come you’re married?” Amy asked me speculatively.
“Long story,” I sighed.
“Very long story,” Ben nodded.
“Well, little brother,” Amy said, “you better sit down and explain everything to me before I ring up Albert and Beatrice and let them know exactly what you’ve been doing all this time in America. I might have gotten kicked out of Spain for bringing in illegal substances, but after they find out you ran off and got married, I have a feeling I’ll be back to being the favorite child.” Amy was serious and Ben sat the two of us down on the couch and explained it all.
“Well, Mum was getting on my case about not having dated anyone since Brigit,” Ben said to me. “And she was starting to think that I was turning into Elton John or something so I had to think up something quick. And the two of us were good friends, Catt, and we hung out a lot anyway, so I just lied and said we were dating.”
“And what about when I was going out with Jon?” I asked him curiously.
“I said we got into a fight and decided to take a break,” Ben said.
“And I’m assuming when the two of you had that beautiful reconciliation story you told Beatrice was around the same time Catt broke up with that Jon fellow?” Amy snorted.
“Yeah,” Ben said embarrassedly.
“How did you get around bringing me to England to meet your parents?” I asked Ben pointedly.
“Quite easily,” Ben shrugged. “My parents thought that my relationship with you was sort of a meaningless fling.”
“Apparently, you’re Ben’s Camilla Parker-Bowles,” Amy snorted.
“No she’s not,” Ben frowned.
“Then how do you explain lying about dating a girl and then getting married to her?” Amy asked Ben questioningly.
“Well, I forgot to file my papers at Immigration and the easiest way for me to stay in the country was to get married,” Ben said. “So we did.”
“Until you get your green card?” Amy said. “Well, Beatrice and Albert won’t be able to complain about that. Just as long as you two annul this without a word to them.”
“The thing is… Amy…” Ben said nervously.
“Christ! The two of you don’t plan on getting this annulled, do you?” Amy said to me.
“Not as of yet,” I said, “but if any more skeleton’s appear in Ben’s closet…”
“You’re a big fat liar, Ben,” Amy said to her brother, annoyed.
“You’re supposed to be in Amsterdam right now with what’s his name… Edgar…” Ben said.
“Edgar?” Amy snorted. “Keep up with the pace, Ben. Edgar is so last month. I was with Isaac until three days ago when I found out he’s got a wife, two kids, and a bun in the oven. Don’t look at me like that Ben. It’s not my oven. It’s his old ugly oven.”
“So, a guy leaves your dirty oven for his old ugly oven and you just up and came here?” Ben said her annoyed.
“My oven is not dirty,” Amy hissed.
“Yeah,” Ben snorted. “I’m sure you clean out the bats now and then. Why did you come here again?”
“It’s what you did,” Amy replied, “and now you’ve got a nice job, a nice apartment, you’re married to a girl that puts up with all your shit…”
“You had a nice job until you slept with the boss, a nice apartment until that drug dealer you were dating started selling out of it, and you almost got married but then decided you hadn’t slept with enough men yet,” Ben said to her, furiously.
“At least I was the one who was always in control of the relationship,” Amy snorted. “You’re the biggest doormat in the world, Benny. I bet Catt uses you as a footstool when she gets bored.”
“Does not,” Ben said like he was a preschooler.
“You walk all over him all the time, don’t you?” Amy said to me. Before I could even respond she turned back to Ben confidently. “She doesn’t even have to say anything. I can tell by the look on her face that she does.”
“Does not,” Ben said again childishly.
“Not that much anyway,” I smirked. Amy looked at Ben triumphantly and he frowned.
“So… why are you here?” Ben asked.
“I thought I could crash on your couch for a few weeks,” Amy shrugged.
“Is Interpol on your tail?” Ben asked her.
“No,” Amy snorted.
“Are you out of cash?” Ben sighed.
“A little,” Amy admitted.
“How much do you need?” Ben sighed.
“Don’t you have to ask your wife?” Amy said to him with a raised eyebrow. Ben looked at me helplessly.
“It’s cool if you hang out here for a few weeks and if Ben wants to give you money, that’s his business,” I shrugged. Amy looked at me like I was insane then looked at Ben in the same manner.
“This is…impossible…” Amy said to Ben. “You actually found a girl who doesn’t treat you like shit?”
“Thanks Amy,” Ben frowned. She turned back to me.
“No offense, but I can see why he married you,” Amy said to me. “I mean, typically, my brother dates girls who want to see how fast they can screw him over and not in a pleasant way either. You… you actually have some dignity.”
“Some?” Ben said to Amy, annoyed.
“Well, during my last phone call to Beatrice, she informed me that I wouldn’t know what Dignity looked like if it gave me a dress from Dolce & Gabbana,” Amy grimaced.
“Why would she say that? Mum doesn’t even know what Dolce & Gabbana is,” Ben frowned.
“Au contraire, little brother,” Amy smiled, “Beatrice’s friend Esmeralda has started sleeping with a fashion designer on the sly so now Beatrice knows everything about that sort of thing.”
“Esmeralda? The one who bought me those hideous overalls because she thought Come On Eileen was still a popular song? It was 1998!” Ben frowned.
“Well, you didn’t like the Spice Girls,” Amy shrugged, “but Esmeralda probably could have bought you one of those too.”
“Yes, but where would I have put it?” Ben sighed.
“Well, kids,” Amy said getting up from her seat and dropping her bag on the floor. “I’m going out to meet some friends. I might be back sometime tonight. Might not. See you Benny.”
“What? So you just show up and then you’re just going leave?” Ben said to her, horrified. “And you haven’t even been in town that long! How do you already have friends?”
“I make friends easily, Benny,” Amy rolled her eyes as she headed out the door. “Besides, even though she probably doesn’t want to put up with you, I bet you want some time alone with the wife.” Amy walked out the door and Ben looked at me, his face flushed in a mixture of anger and embarrassment.
“I suppose your wife doesn’t even know you have a sister,” Amy hissed at Ben. Suddenly I saw it.
“No… I know he has a sister…” I said. “It’s just… you have a bob cut now and in all the pictures he has of you your hair is long.”
“Oh,” Amy faltered. She turned back to Ben, pointing at me. “Who is this girl anyway?”
“I think you should go,” I whispered to Elle.
“And miss this show?” Elle snorted.
“It’s my wife,” Ben shrugged. “Catt?” Suddenly, Amy’s eyes seemed to look at me with a gaze of recognition.
“Catt… oh! Catt from Northwestern Catt!” Amy nodded. “I remember you telling me about her.”
“You told your sister about me?” I said to Ben. Honestly, I didn’t know the two of them talked about anything other than where Ben was going to wire her money.
“Come on Ben,” Amy sighed, “you date a girl for five years. I can understand why you would want to marry her, but you could have at least invited me to the wedding!”
“Whoa… we didn’t date for five years,” I said, looking at Ben annoyed.
“You said the two of you started dating when you went to Northwestern,” Amy said to Ben accusingly.
“I’m going to go,” Elle said before slipping out the door.
“Well… I…” Ben said, nervously scratching the back of his neck.
“You lied to one of us, Ben,” Amy snorted.
“He lied to you,” I said to her. “We didn’t start going out five years ago Ben! We never went out!”
“Then how come you’re married?” Amy asked me speculatively.
“Long story,” I sighed.
“Very long story,” Ben nodded.
“Well, little brother,” Amy said, “you better sit down and explain everything to me before I ring up Albert and Beatrice and let them know exactly what you’ve been doing all this time in America. I might have gotten kicked out of Spain for bringing in illegal substances, but after they find out you ran off and got married, I have a feeling I’ll be back to being the favorite child.” Amy was serious and Ben sat the two of us down on the couch and explained it all.
“Well, Mum was getting on my case about not having dated anyone since Brigit,” Ben said to me. “And she was starting to think that I was turning into Elton John or something so I had to think up something quick. And the two of us were good friends, Catt, and we hung out a lot anyway, so I just lied and said we were dating.”
“And what about when I was going out with Jon?” I asked him curiously.
“I said we got into a fight and decided to take a break,” Ben said.
“And I’m assuming when the two of you had that beautiful reconciliation story you told Beatrice was around the same time Catt broke up with that Jon fellow?” Amy snorted.
“Yeah,” Ben said embarrassedly.
“How did you get around bringing me to England to meet your parents?” I asked Ben pointedly.
“Quite easily,” Ben shrugged. “My parents thought that my relationship with you was sort of a meaningless fling.”
“Apparently, you’re Ben’s Camilla Parker-Bowles,” Amy snorted.
“No she’s not,” Ben frowned.
“Then how do you explain lying about dating a girl and then getting married to her?” Amy asked Ben questioningly.
“Well, I forgot to file my papers at Immigration and the easiest way for me to stay in the country was to get married,” Ben said. “So we did.”
“Until you get your green card?” Amy said. “Well, Beatrice and Albert won’t be able to complain about that. Just as long as you two annul this without a word to them.”
“The thing is… Amy…” Ben said nervously.
“Christ! The two of you don’t plan on getting this annulled, do you?” Amy said to me.
“Not as of yet,” I said, “but if any more skeleton’s appear in Ben’s closet…”
“You’re a big fat liar, Ben,” Amy said to her brother, annoyed.
“You’re supposed to be in Amsterdam right now with what’s his name… Edgar…” Ben said.
“Edgar?” Amy snorted. “Keep up with the pace, Ben. Edgar is so last month. I was with Isaac until three days ago when I found out he’s got a wife, two kids, and a bun in the oven. Don’t look at me like that Ben. It’s not my oven. It’s his old ugly oven.”
“So, a guy leaves your dirty oven for his old ugly oven and you just up and came here?” Ben said her annoyed.
“My oven is not dirty,” Amy hissed.
“Yeah,” Ben snorted. “I’m sure you clean out the bats now and then. Why did you come here again?”
“It’s what you did,” Amy replied, “and now you’ve got a nice job, a nice apartment, you’re married to a girl that puts up with all your shit…”
“You had a nice job until you slept with the boss, a nice apartment until that drug dealer you were dating started selling out of it, and you almost got married but then decided you hadn’t slept with enough men yet,” Ben said to her, furiously.
“At least I was the one who was always in control of the relationship,” Amy snorted. “You’re the biggest doormat in the world, Benny. I bet Catt uses you as a footstool when she gets bored.”
“Does not,” Ben said like he was a preschooler.
“You walk all over him all the time, don’t you?” Amy said to me. Before I could even respond she turned back to Ben confidently. “She doesn’t even have to say anything. I can tell by the look on her face that she does.”
“Does not,” Ben said again childishly.
“Not that much anyway,” I smirked. Amy looked at Ben triumphantly and he frowned.
“So… why are you here?” Ben asked.
“I thought I could crash on your couch for a few weeks,” Amy shrugged.
“Is Interpol on your tail?” Ben asked her.
“No,” Amy snorted.
“Are you out of cash?” Ben sighed.
“A little,” Amy admitted.
“How much do you need?” Ben sighed.
“Don’t you have to ask your wife?” Amy said to him with a raised eyebrow. Ben looked at me helplessly.
“It’s cool if you hang out here for a few weeks and if Ben wants to give you money, that’s his business,” I shrugged. Amy looked at me like I was insane then looked at Ben in the same manner.
“This is…impossible…” Amy said to Ben. “You actually found a girl who doesn’t treat you like shit?”
“Thanks Amy,” Ben frowned. She turned back to me.
“No offense, but I can see why he married you,” Amy said to me. “I mean, typically, my brother dates girls who want to see how fast they can screw him over and not in a pleasant way either. You… you actually have some dignity.”
“Some?” Ben said to Amy, annoyed.
“Well, during my last phone call to Beatrice, she informed me that I wouldn’t know what Dignity looked like if it gave me a dress from Dolce & Gabbana,” Amy grimaced.
“Why would she say that? Mum doesn’t even know what Dolce & Gabbana is,” Ben frowned.
“Au contraire, little brother,” Amy smiled, “Beatrice’s friend Esmeralda has started sleeping with a fashion designer on the sly so now Beatrice knows everything about that sort of thing.”
“Esmeralda? The one who bought me those hideous overalls because she thought Come On Eileen was still a popular song? It was 1998!” Ben frowned.
“Well, you didn’t like the Spice Girls,” Amy shrugged, “but Esmeralda probably could have bought you one of those too.”
“Yes, but where would I have put it?” Ben sighed.
“Well, kids,” Amy said getting up from her seat and dropping her bag on the floor. “I’m going out to meet some friends. I might be back sometime tonight. Might not. See you Benny.”
“What? So you just show up and then you’re just going leave?” Ben said to her, horrified. “And you haven’t even been in town that long! How do you already have friends?”
“I make friends easily, Benny,” Amy rolled her eyes as she headed out the door. “Besides, even though she probably doesn’t want to put up with you, I bet you want some time alone with the wife.” Amy walked out the door and Ben looked at me, his face flushed in a mixture of anger and embarrassment.