You're Gone

Anytime Oliver and I were forced to leave the flat was time for panic. Especially when those times involved us going to his parent’s house. If I wasn't already tweaking, I was when I found out Oliver had accepted his parent's invitation for dinner at their house that night.

"This is gonna be bad," I told him as I sat against him. His colorful arms were wrapped around me, my back pressed against his chest as I sat in-between his skinny legs. Every so often he'd run his fingers through my hair and when his fingers would get snagged in a knot, he'd simply let the random fly aways float to the ground.

"Don't be so worried, love," he whispered into my hair.

"We look like shit, Oli," I said flatly. "They're gonna know."

"I'm pretteh sure they already know somefhing isn't righ' anyway," he shrugged. "Let's jus' shower and fhink about it later."

I sighed, too tired to do anything but agree with him. "Fine," I grumbled. He smiled against my neck that he had taken to kissing, I suppressed a smile as he pushed me over, his arms still around me and his lips still attached to my neck. I laughed as we fell onto the mattress we had been sitting on and moaned when his fingers slowly crawled up the tee-shirt I was wearing. "We should shower now," I said airily.

He didn't object or say anything, instead he just scooped me up and carried me the short distance to the bathroom. Once there he turned the water on and as we waited for it to heat up, he took to undressing me in a painfully slow manner. Once I was completely stripped down and he was in nothing more than a pair of boxer briefs he stopped to look directly into my eyes. I bit my lip as his look poured into me, making me feel more loved and adored than words ever could. Oliver had a strange ability to do that; to make me feel loved with nothing more than a look. I had never experienced something like that before and it still made my spine tingle. After a short while he pressed his mouth to mine in a sloppy kiss and I pushed his boxer briefs down his legs and he stepped out of them just before we got into the shower.

After an hour of showering we looked slightly human again. There was more color in both of our faces and our hair no longer looked as dead as it used to. I applied face make-up to my face to eliminate any bags to cuts I had sustained during binges and I then did the same for Oliver, though I mostly focused on his bags. He refused to let me apply make up to his face anywhere other than directly under his eyes. As I continued to put on a face, Oliver rummaged through the piles of clothes scattered throughout the flat until he found something suitable we each could wear. Long sleeves were a must and I was thankful it was just nearing winter and the weather was cool enough for us to get anyway with wearing them.

"'ow do I look?" I asked, turning away from the mirror briefly to get Oliver's opinion. "Do yeh fhink I put on too much make-up?"

He smiled the whole walk over towards me and then leaned down to place a soft kiss on my eager lips. "I fhink yeh look proper gorgeous," he whispered against my mouth. I smiled and pulled back to look up at him.

"Really?" I asked softly.

"Yeh always do," he confirmed. He kissed me again and we continued to get ready. When we were finally both dressed in Drop Dead hoodies and skinny jeans we started walking to the Sykes' residence. After smoking a blunt down the street from their house to keep ourselves from tweaking while at dinner we put in some eye drops and walked into the house hand in hand.

Being around families made me feel weird. Besides being an "adoptive" part of Dylan's family I never really had one of my own. My own family never really acted like anything that resembled a family and so I was left with a rather twisted idea of how one should act. But Oliver's parent's supported him. And he had a brother who doubled as his best friend. Honestly, it all freaked me out. And freaking out while withdrawing from drugs was not a good combination. Thankfully the weed calmed me down slightly and I wasn't too anxious as his parents greeted us.

Tom was home as well, sitting on the couch and fiddling with one of his cameras. After giving Carol and Ian a quick hello I immediately walked over to the younger Sykes, feeling much less intimidated by his presence than that of his parents.

"Aye, Tristan," he briefly looked up at me. "'ow've yeh been?"

"Fine," I nodded curtly.

"I 'aven't seen yeh in ages. 'm surprised yeh and Oli even came over," he commented.

"We didn't 'ave much ta do," I shrugged, giving a lame excuse.

"All tha meth gone?" He looked up at me then, his eyes vacant, void of any and all emotion.

"Wha'?" I managed to sputter out.

"We're not stupid, yeh know," Tom told me with a sigh. My jaw hung open slightly and my eyes flickered to Oliver who was now walking into the living room to take a seat next to me. When he sat down he immediately pulled me onto his lap and held me close to his chest, like he hadn't held or touched me in years. And it was nice to feel wanted like that. "Oli," Tom nodded towards his brother. "Yeh look like shit."

"'Fhanks Tom," Oliver nodded back.

"Did Mum an' Dad already talk ta yeh?"

"'bout?" Oliver asked. And I bit my lip. I knew coming over was a bad idea. They were going to try and take Oliver and I away from each other. And then they were going to try and take the drugs away. And I wasn't sure I could function very well without either of them. You do drugs because you are weak. Doing drugs makes you weak. Therefore, I was weak. And just the mere thought of losing everything so fast made my heart race and my palms start to sweat.

Tom sighed, "They know 'bout tha drugs. They wanna try an' 'elp yeh guys out. 'm not so sure yeh two need 'elp, or even wan' it, but they fhink yeh two 're seriously fucked."

"Yeh don't fhink we're fucked?" Oliver asked his brother seriously. Tom just shrugged as he continued to fiddle with his camera.

"I dunno," he muttered, seemingly uninterested. "As long as yeh don't die I guess yeh're fine," he said. We were all quiet for a few moments before he added. "Yeh guys aren't gonna die, 're yeh?"

"Course not," I shook my head.

Being here was making me paranoid, especially because Tom had only confirmed my worst fears. I didn't want Oliver's parents to talk to us. Not only because I felt like they were going to try and keep Oli and I apart, but because I knew he might actually go along with it. When most people looked at Oli all they saw were tattoos, long hair, a pierced lip, and tight jeans; they always thought he was a rebel. And while I guess it some regards he was, Oliver loved his parents dearly and always took whatever they said into account. It worried me to think they might be able to persuade him away from our current lifestyle.

"Oliver!" Carol called out into the living room. "Come into tha kitchen, an' bring Tristan too!"

We exchanged glances and reluctantly followed her command. We walked into the kitchen hand in hand and when I saw Ian and Carol sitting at the kitchen table I knew I wasn't high enough to deal with any of this. The weed had worn off at that point and I was sober, my body beginning for me to kill it with any drug I could find.

"Yeah mum?" Oliver asked kindly when we stopped in the archway of the kitchen.

"Oli," Ian began in a stern, but surprisingly gentle voice. "Yeh're mum and I 're worried 'bout yeh and Tristan," he told us. "We know yeh two 're up ta no good in tha' flat an' we want ta get yeh 'elp. We love yeh two."

His words stung my heart. I didn't need to know they cared or wanted to help or that they loved me. Although I had become quite accustom to disappointing people, disappointing Carol and Ian was much different for whatever reason. Maybe it had something to do with them being Oliver's parents and although our relationship wasn't conventional by any means I still wanted them to like me, or maybe it was because the idea of love from parental figures was so foreign to me. Regardless of the reason, I couldn't make eye contact with either of them. I knew that would sting too much.

"We're fine, okay?" Oliver spoke calmly, not snapping because he knew that would only upset them. He was so eloquent about fucking his life up. "We don't need 'elp. We're not doin' anyfhing wrong, we're jus' tryin' to be tha best we can for each other."

I was surprised he could make so much sense out of such a shitty situation, and I looked up at him curiously as I wondered where his words had come from. Clearly he had thought this through back in the living room. Or maybe he hadn't. I was never sure with him.

"Love," Carol began. "We don't want ta open tha paper one day an' find out yeh two are in an alley somewhere, dead."

"That's not gonna 'appen mum."

"Yeh 'ave ta understand why we're worried," she stressed. I could hear the tears in her voice and I closed my eyes tightly as I tried to pretend this all wasn't real.

"Well I don't," Oliver shook his head. "We're fine," he repeated.

"Oli..."

"We're jus' gonna go 'ome now."

"Yeh can't get 'elp if yeh don't wan' it," Ian sighed heavily.

"Yeh can't get it if yeh don't need it eifher."