My Toxic Valentine

Busking on a weekday was not nearly as profitable as the busy Sunday morning, Jack discovered after a couple of hours of perseverance. He’d grown tired of the few disapproving looks thrown his way from the occasional business man and he’d made only about $5 in small change, so he decided to call it quits for the day.

However, being that Jack couldn’t actually go home, he was still at a loss for what to do with himself. This is why he was aimlessly wandering the streets of Baltimore mid-afternoon.

His intention was to busk this morning and make enough money to get an overnight train somewhere else but unfortunately he’d overestimated Baltimore’s generosity towards a guitar-playing, lanky, teenaged boy. After playing to an audience of pigeons for an hour, Jack had decided enough was enough and that he’d have to push back his departure a little.

He still held hope that once school had gotten out for the day and the city held a little more charitable traffic he might still reach his goal and his plan would stick for tomorrow.
An overnight train or bus trip was almost a luxury; warmth, comfortable seats and sometimes an included meal (if he picked his journey really well) and Jack was very much looking forward to that. It made roughing it once more in his now-familiar alleyway seem worth it.

Jack would be lying, however, if he didn’t admit that he was almost looking forward to spending another afternoon and evening in this city. His mind kept jumping back to the boy he’d met in the park the day before and he couldn’t help but wonder if he might see him again.

He’d looked around Jack’s age and had quite obviously been one of the wealthy kids who seemed superfluous in the city, or at least certain parts of it, so Jack knew it was likely that he attended one of the private schools that dotted the area.

This logic may have had something to do with Jack intending to continue busking after school hours were over, but he kept telling himself it was purely because he wanted to be out of Baltimore as soon as possible.

While dwelling on Alex was interesting, it certainly wasn’t helping Jack decide how to kill a couple of hours. A loud rumble echoed from Jack’s stomach, as though in answer to his unasked question, and he decided that he should probably figure out some sort of food to shut it up.

Being on the streets for while had given Jack remarkable skills in both observation and navigation. These skills, combined with a pretty good memory, meant that he thought if he tried hard enough he could find his way back to the diner where he’d first come after getting into Baltimore.

It was with that task in mind that he took a quick look around before promptly crossing the street, turning a few corners and finding himself outside it. With a slight smug grin, he pushed open the door and entered. It was pretty empty, being between lunch and dinner time, so he had free pick of the seats.

The weather was fair today, so he didn’t feel that sitting in front of the heater was necessary, so he took a booth at the window, figuring that he could keep on eye on whether or not things would pick up in the city.

Picking up the menu, he smiled to himself, pleased by the fact that he had enough money to be able to pay for food this time around. He flipped it open and frowned, overwhelmed by the choice and pleasantly surprised by the cheap prices.

He was thinking that lasagna sounded like a pretty good choice when a voice interrupted his contemplation.

“Well, I have to say I’m pleased to see you back here, honey!”

Jack jumped slightly and looked up from the menu, making eye contact with the owner of the diner who’d been kind to him a couple of nights back.

He smiled at her, noting how her facial features seemed softer today. Perhaps when he came in last she’d just been having a bad day. In fact, he felt almost guilty for comparing her to an angry bulldog.

“What can I get for you?” she asked with a wide smile, pen poised over her notepad.

“Um, I think I’ll have lasagna, please,” he said, returning her smile before blushing and adding “I can pay for it, too.”

She ignored his second comment and said “Okay, lasagna it is… would you like something to drink?”

“Uh, a coke, please.”

“No problems, hon. It won’t be too long.”

When she walked away, Jack smiled to himself. For all the awful people he’d met over the last year or so, people like this woman definitely made up for it. Mind you, he’d be damned if he wasn’t going to pay for this meal. Jack had never been one to accept a free ride.

Settling back into the worn comfort of the booth, Jack gazed absently out of the window while he waited. He decided that he quite liked Baltimore and if he ever managed to pick himself up he wouldn’t mind living here.

He wasn’t really sure how he would go about “picking himself up” however. Jack had done some things he wasn’t proud of, so his record wasn’t exactly squeaky clean, and with not finishing high school he knew he’d struggle to get a job.

He’d made his bed, however, and now he had to lay in it. Deep down, Jack knew his situation was of his own making and that no amazing opportunity was about to fall into his lap.

“Here you go.”

Jack looked back from the window to see an enormous plate of food being placed in front of him as well as a glass of coke by an unfamiliar and bored-looking waitress.

He smiled. “Thanks.”

Shovelling food into his mouth in the most undignified manner possible, Jack went back to gazing out the window as he chewed.

There were a few more people passing by and school uniforms appeared to be the predominant fashion at this time in the afternoon. Jack watched groups of kids, some younger and some around his age, walking through the street.

As he shoved another forkful of mince and pasta at his mouth Jack noticed one boy who’d stopped just outside the window. He was looking at Jack, frowning slightly before a smile overtook his features. He was dressed in what was obviously a private school uniform but had his tie loose and his shirt unbuttoned at the top.

Jack choked on his mouthful as he realized it was Alex, the boy from the park. Quickly grabbing for his drink and downing half of it, Jack coughed and spluttered a few times before self-consciously grabbing his napkin and hurriedly wiping his mouth.

Sure, he’d hoped to see Alex again in a school-girl fantasy kind of way but he’d have preferred it to be when he wasn’t wolfing down food like it was the last meal he’d ever eat.

When he’d recovered and looked back up, Alex was gone and Jack felt his heart sink a little. What was he expecting, really? They’d spoken once in the park and Jack hadn’t exactly been winning Alex over with his charm.

With a disappointed sigh, Jack turned his attention from the window.

“Fuck!” he swore under his breath, jumping as he saw the boy sitting across from him, a cheeky grin on his face.

Jack blushed, wondering if he’d really been so wrapped up in his disappointment that Alex had managed to sneak in.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to sneak up on you,” Alex said, running a hand through his perfectly scruffy hair and leaning back into the seat.

Jack shook his head. “It’s fine.”

There was a minute of silence, Jack having no idea what to say and Alex looking at him thoughtfully, which did little to aid Jack in the art of appropriate conversation.

“Do you want to join a band?” Alex asked eventually, not beating around the bush.

Jack blinked a few times, staring back at Alex, who was biting his lip and looking slightly concerned.

“What? No,” Jack answered without really thinking about it. This boy was clearly a little bit insane. You don’t just ask strangers to join a band.

“Oh,” Alex said, sounding disappointed “It’s just that you’re really good. And we really need a second guitarist.”

Jack blushed at the compliment but shook his head, nonetheless. “I’m really not good enough to be in a band.”

Alex’s eyes went wide. “Are you kidding me? You’re better than anyone else I’ve heard and we’ve been looking for ages.”

“I don’t have… anything,” Jack began, trying to voice the thousand reasons as to why this was a bad idea that were running through his head “I don’t even live here. I don’t have a job.”

Alex looked a little crestfallen. “Oh, okay. Are you going to stay in town awhile?”

“I was going to leave tonight,” Jack answered honestly.

“Oh,” Alex looked thoughtful “Is there anything I can do to change your mind?”

Jack blushed scarlet, thinking of all the things Alex could do to convince him to stay.
He fought to clear his mind before looking at Alex, unsure of what to say.

“Look,” Alex began, saving him the trouble of coming up with anything “Just stay a couple more days. Maybe we can jam together? Not even my friends, just us. We’ll see how it goes?”

Jack was torn. His heart wanted to stay, but his head wanted to leave anyway. If it were as easy as splitting himself in half and doing both, he would’ve done it.

“I’ll stay for a few days, I guess,” he answered with no real reasoning other than ‘Why the fuck not?’ It’d been awhile since Jack had listened to his heart, so he figured he might as well give it a go.

Alex grinned and grabbed a pen from his pocket, scrawling a number on a clean napkin. “Awesome. Here’s my number. Let me know when you’re free. I’ve gotta go, but I’ll talk to you soon.”

He jumped up as quickly as he’d appeared and waved before exiting the diner.

Jack groaned, resting his head in his hands. What was he thinking? He’d gotten this far by sticking to his rules and this was definitely going against them. He sighed and was considering leaving tonight anyway when the owner of the diner appeared to take his plate.

She paused for a moment, looking a little uncertain. “You know, I could really use some help around here.”

Jack looked around the near empty diner and saw one other employee leaning lazily against the counter.

“Really?” he asked disbelievingly.

She nodded. “Just cleanin’ tables and stuff, maybe some dishes. Would you be interested?”

Jack frowned, wondering briefly if she’d overheard his conversation and that was the motivation for her offer.

“I don’t know…” he replied hesitantly “I don’t really stay anywhere. I was thinking about leaving tonight, actually.”

Her face fell a little. “Oh. Well, if you change your mind just let me know. And don’t you even think about trying to pay for that pasta!” she said, pointing at him.

Jack could barely hold back a smile as she walked away. He was now completely torn.

What was that he was saying about opportunities not falling into his lap? Maybe Baltimore would turn out to be more interesting than he thought.