Two Worlds Collide

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It’s been a few days since I told Justin I loved him. It’s been a few days since I told Justin about Taylor’s and my sudden “break up”. I knew that it was wrong of my doing but I couldn’t help it. The only good thing was, well what am I saying, there was not good thing out of this situation.

Justin thinks I’m single and I love with him while Taylor thinks we’re still dating and I’m in love with him. I love Justin don’t get me wrong but I can’t see anything going on between us. Justin is a great guy, we’ve shared our laugh’s and we’ve shared our awkward moments but one thing for sure, Justin wasn’t the guy for me.

“So you’re just going to cut the strings on him like that?” I heard Chelsey ask from the other line.

I sighed as I walked around my bedroom, “I don’t know what to do. I know lying to him wasn’t the smartest idea but he looked so fragile.”

“What are you going to do then? Taylor comes home in a few days and as far as he is concerned your still his girlfriend!” Chelsey breathed.

“I know. What do I do about Justin though? Tour is just around the corner and what happens if he drops out?” I asked. I lay down onto my bed and closed my eyes as I thought about the bad possibilities that could come out of this scenario.

“He can’t drop out of the tour even if he wanted to. Dates are already selling out as we speak. I don’t know whether you should tell him or not but then again what you will do if he see’s you and Taylor together?” she questioned.

I knew she was right. I just couldn’t get myself to tell Justin that I lied to him about Taylor just so he would kiss me. “Thanks for your insights on the situation Chels. I’m going to get to bed okay?” I asked her.

I heard her sigh, “Just promise you won’t do anything crazy okay? I’ll see you tomorrow, night!”

“Night.” I sighed once more as I hung up the phone. I noticed that I did a lot of sighing tonight and it seems like that’s all I’ve been doing. I walked over towards my dresser to plug in my phone before leaving my room and walking down stairs. The house was quite so ether everyone was asleep or they were not home. I mentally laughed at myself as I thought about everyone being out at ten p.m.

I walked into the kitchen to get me a late night snack in hopes it would help me fall asleep. I walked over towards the food pantry and pulled out a jar of Nutella and a jar of peanut butter. I then walked over towards our bread pantry and pulled out the homemade wheat bread. I set everything onto the island as I pulled out a stool and a butter knife.

“What’re you doing up so late?” I heard someone ask from the kitchen door way. I turned my head and saw Carly sitting there looking at me with a worried expression.

I smiled as I beckoned her to come towards me, “Just making a late night snack. Would you like one?”

She smiled as she wheeled herself over towards me, “What’re you fixing?”

After I placed the sandwich together I took the knife and cut it in half. I smiled as I handed her one half, “take a bite then I’ll tell you?”

Carly looked at me then looked down and started inspecting the sandwich. She hesitated before taking a small bite and chewing slowly, her face scrunching up in disgust. I laughed as she handed me her half and I placed it on to my napkin. I waited until my laughter subsided, “Would you like me to make you or get you something to drink?”

She shook her head and took a napkin to wipe off her tongue. I laughed as I jumped off my stool and walked over towards the glasses and pulled out a small one. I opened the fridge and grabbed the milk carton. Using my foot to close the door, I turned around and walked back over to my seat. I placed the cup in front of Carly and poured her some milk. She thanked me as she took a big gulp causing me to laugh once more.

She wiped her mouth with her napkin, “How can you eat that? That was disgusting!”

I smiled as I took a big bite and sighed in content. I swallowed, “Is it really that bad?” I smiled as I took another bite. I looked over at Carly and almost chocked on my bite because her face showed pure disgust. I took a drink of her milk after I finished the sandwich. I got up to throw away my trash and put away the stuff I got out. I pointed to Carly’s glass silently asking her if she wanted more and she shook her head grabbing the glass and putting it on her lap and wheeling herself around the Island to the skink.

“I could have gotten that sweetie!” I smiled as I watched her rinse out her cup.

She briefly looked up and smiled, “Your point?”

I playfully glared as I walked around and started putting everything away. When I was finished with putting the bread away I turned around and leaned up on the counter and sighed.

Carly looked over at me after I sighed, “Are you okay?” she asked.

I shook my head “no”. “Do you want to talk to me about it?” she asked.

I sighed as I got down and sat on the floor Indian style, “I did something really bad.” I admitted as I put my head in my hands. I could honestly say I was disgusted with myself. I hated cheaters, yet I was one right now because I couldn’t figure out which guy I wanted to be with.

“What did you do?” I heard Carly ask.

I looked up at her and debated on if I really wanted to tell her. I know she has no experience with guys but she was pretty smart for her age, “You remember Taylor right?” I asked and she nodded, “Okay, Taylor and I have been dating for awhile now and I did something that might put our relationship into jeopardy.” She motioned for me to continue, so I did. I told her about how Taylor and I started dating and how happy I was with him, I told her about the hotel incident where Justin and myself met, I told her about how Justin figured out my identity, I told her about everything that happened between Justin, Taylor and I.
After I told her everything I felt weight lift off my shoulders a little, though it didn’t help my situation. I waited patiently as Carly soaked in all the information I gave her.

“Jessica.” Carly said softly, “You don’t have to go through all that trouble. You already know which guy you want, all you have to do is just admit yourself.”

I replayed her statement in my mind a few times as I sat on the ground. I felt something wet hit my thighs and I looked down to see a small wet spoke. I put my hand up to my cheek and realized that I was crying.

I thought about Taylor and did a quick pro’s and con’s but soon realized that it was a stupid thing do. I just didn’t know how I was going to break it to Justin and tell him that everything was a big lie.

Realization hit me once more as I once again though about Taylor. I knew I had to tell him that I kissed Justin and that was what I was dreading the most.

“What are you two talking about in here?” I heard a male voice behind me. Carly and I looked up and both gasped and who was in the kitchen as well.