Seize the Day

Matt's POV

“Hey, thanks for coming to meet me here today,” I told Val as we sat down at the table in what used to be ”our” restaurant.

“Oh, no problem!” I could tell she might have been just a little too happy that I'd asked her to come here.

“There are a couple of things that I need to talk to you about,” I said. “Some things that I'm sure you've already heard, and some things that I need to settle.”

She smiled at me. I remember that smile, I thought, mentally rolling my eyes. That's the smile that I fell in love with the first time I saw her in middle school. It's the smile I haven't seen in about three years. She'd already told me that she had been seeing someone, the guy she'd been on a date with when V ran into her in the restroom awhile back. But she'd also told me that he ended up being a douchebag extraordinaire, and only wanted anything to do with her because she had money. Once she found out that money was mine, not Val's, he jetted.

“Anyway,” I began, after we ordered our lunch, “I'm sure you know by now that I've asked Vivienne to marry me.” She only nodded. I don't think she purposely showed as much disappointment as she actually did, but I certainly saw every speck of it. “And she's currently pregnant, as well.”

“Yeah, I did hear that,” she said with a chuckle. She reached over and put her hand on top of mine. “I'm happy for you, Matt,” she said. “I know you always wanted kids.”

“Yeah, I do. We're really very happy, and ready to start a new chapter in life,” I told her. “I know you already knew this, but I figured I owed it to you to tell you what was going on in person, and not leave it to the tabloids or whatever.”

She had some weird starry-eyed look, like I've seen too many fangirls have over the years. “I appreciate that, I really do.” Her hand started tracing up my arm, outling my tattoos.

I reached for my glass of water with the hand she'd been nearly holding. “Yeah, anyway,” I sighed, “my attorney found an extra life insurance policy that we forgot to have you taken off of.” I tried not to chuckle as she looked shocked. “I need you to sign this paper.” I took the folder from the chair behind me and handed her a pen.

“Oh,” she said. Her face and her voice totally fell flat. “Yeah, of course I will.” She quickly signed the paper and returned to staring at me.

“Valary, I don't know what you thought I called you to meet me for, but I have to tell you something.” I took her hand between mine. “I am happy with V. You and me, we were happy for awhile, but it's not the same. It's easy with her.” Shit, I thought, as I noticed her eyes gloss over, that's the last thing I need, is for her to cry. “Things were easy for us once, but then we grew up. We weren't right for each other, and I know you knew that too. I'm sorry that you haven't found anyone new yet, but you're a beautiful, fucking amazing woman. I know someone will be very happy with you some day.”

She went back to running her fingers along my arm. It was a little weird how she was looking directly into my eyes. It was almost like she was trying to hypnotize herself or some shit. I smiled at her, the sweetest, biggest, most ridiculous smile I could muster. I knew how this would end already. She was going to try to get me back, and it would never happen. There isn't even the tiniest bit of me who's still attracted to her. I was shocked with myself at just how fucking sure of that I was right now. That's where that smile came from. Knowing that this was the best decision I'd ever made in all my life.

“Well, Matt,” she cooed. “I guess I'm glad you found someone, I just didn't think it'd happen so damn quickly. I mean you were with her, what? Like six months after we split up?” Her tone was changing, fast. This was one thing I never liked about being with Valary. She could go from zero to uberbitch in like 2.7 seconds.

I tried to keep that from happening. “I know, it was fast,” I agreed, still beaming at her. “But I can't help it. I couldn't then, and I still can't. I just know that it's different than anything before.” I took her hand. “And it's been really nice seeing you again. But I need to get home.” I dropped way more than enough money to cover the lunch and stood up. I took her hand again. “Thank you for everything you ever did for me, Val.” I leaned over and kissed her cheek. “You know you meant the world to me for a long time. But my world changed. I wish you all the luck in the fuckin' world, girl. I really, really do.” I brought her hand toward my face and kissed her hand.

She sighed. “You too, Matt. I really hope things all work out for you.”

---------------

“So wait,” Zack asked me. He'd called me once V had gotten to his and Mama J's place and told them what she heard. “You met with Val to get her to sign off on an insurance policy, then she tried to like guilt you into getting back with her?”

“Yes,” I sighed. “I didn't even see Jamie there. I can't believe this, dude. I'm so fucking done for. I don't know what I'm gonna do to convince her that it wasn't what she thinks, or what Jamie thinks she saw.”

“Yeah, bro,” he said. “She's really upset over this. I can't tell if she's more sad or pissed the fuck off, though.”

“Either way,” I said, running my hand through my hair, “I'm fucked. Royally goddamn fucked.”

He was quiet on the other end for a moment. “You know she won't be mad for long. She can't be, not with you.” I could hear movement and a door. “Uh, Jess wants to talk to you.” He quickly told Jess not to freak, and to just listen to me for a minute.

“You have 30 seconds, Matthew,” she said firmly. I just knew that the hand that wasn't holding the phone was on her hip, and that her eyebrow was raised.

“Jess,” I pleaded. “You've got to help me. I swear to fucking god it wasn't like that. I had some paperwork for Val to sign, and I was trying to be cordial, so I asked her to lunch. Her douchey new dude dumped her, and I think she thought since I called her, she might have a chance. Yes, I was holding her hand, and yes, I kissed her on the cheek. But it was all in an effort to not be a shithead and fuck her over even more.” I sighed hard, and slammed my hand onto the counter. “Is there any way I can get her to believe me?”

“Well, if you're telling the truth, and I think you are,” she said, “she'll believe you. You know she can't really stay mad at you, Matty. But you know her history, and you know how much she is terrified that you're just gonna up and leave her. This little incident, innocent as it may have actually been, just fed into her fears.”

I dropped my head to the countertop now. “I know. I fucked up, bad.” Neither of us said anything for a second. “Do you think there's any chance in the world she'll let me talk to her? Or should I just wait?”

“Part of me wants to say let her calm down,” she began. “Another part says get your ass over here, fucking stat, and explain. She's asleep right now, actually. Cried herself exhausted.”

“Get over here,” Zack said, taking the phone back from Jess. “You need to be the first one she sees when she wakes up, and the first person to explain to her. Hell, bring the paperwork to show her you had a reason to meet up with Valary.”

“Be there in ten minutes,” I said and hung up the phone. I toyed with the thought of bringing her flowers, but I knew she'd think that was just a cliché way for me to try to butter her up. As I drove past the gas station though, I had an idea, so I made a quick stop.

Zack let me into the house and thumped me on the back. “Good luck, dude,” he said. Him and Jess took the dogs and went out the patio door into their backyard.

I walked into the living room, and knelt down beside the couch where she was curled into a ball, still asleep. Even in her sleep, her nose and forehead were scrunched up like she was in pain. It hurt my heart to see her like that.

I leaned in and gently kissed her forehead. “I love you, V,” I whispered to her.

“Matt,” she said softly, fluttering her eyes open.

“Yeah, baby,” I said, kissing her again.

“I...” she started but couldn't finish. Her eyes welled up with more tears.

“Can I talk to you?” I asked, still almost whispering. “I need to explain what happened.”

“Please just tell me that you have a reason,” she said, and her voice faltered.

“Yes, I do.” I kissed her forehead once again, and she sat up. She tucked her feet up under her and rested her chin on her knees. I sat on the couch next to her, and handed her the gift I'd brought. A week or so ago, we'd been in that gas station grabbing beer on the way to Zack's house. Being the candy addict she was, she'd walked through the aisle and nearly had a heart attack when she found the one-pound Reese's cup. So, when I was thinking of something to get her to aid me in my sucking up, that was the first thing that crossed my mind.

She giggled lightly when I handed it to her. She smiled weakly, and whispered “Thanks.”

“Ok, here's what happened,” I said. I recounted the entire afternoon to her, showing her the insurance paperwork that had Val's signature and today's date on it. “I was just being nice to her,” I tried to assure her. “I never meant anything by it, and I most goddamn definitely didn't meant to hurt you.” I kissed her shoulder. “You mean more to me than anything in the fucking world, and I was trying to make sure that there weren't any ties to anyone else. I'm yours. All. Fucking. Yours.” I punctuated each of those last words with a kiss on the back of her hand. “Can you forgive me?”

For just a second, she sat completely still. Then she smiled. “I can't be mad at you,” she said sweetly. Then she giggled. Then the giggle turned into a laugh. “I can't believe you brought me a whole fuckin' pound of chocolately, peanut-buttery goodness.” I laughed with her. She wrapped her arms around my neck. “I'm sorry I didn't let you explain yourself earlier,” she said, not letting go. “I'm so, so sorry I doubted you.”

“And I'm sorry I didn't tell you where I was going and who I was going with,” I admitted. “That was really shitty of me.”

“Baby, I'm so tired,” she said. “Can we just go home and crash?”

“Of course,” I said. “Here, come on.” I picked her up and slid her around piggyback-style. We walked through the kitchen to the patio door to say goodbye to Jess and Zack.

“Oh, thank god!” Jess squealed when she saw us. “You two had me worried for like a nanosecond.”

“Me too,” I half-laughed. “We're gonna head home. Thank you, both, for letting us takeover your living room for awhile.”

“Thanks for letting me sob and pass out,” V said, her chin on my shoulder. “Jess, I'll talk to you tomorrow. Right now, I am so worn out I need to sleep for like a week.”

“Go get some rest, both of you,” Zack said. “Dude, talk to you later.”

When we got to our house, V ducked her head before she reached for the door handle. “I really am sorry I wouldn't listen to you. I overreacted. Hardcore.”

“V, stop,” I said. “It's fine. You had every right to react like that.”

“No, I didn't.” Her jaw was set. “I should trust you. I do trust you. I just lost my shit.”

“It's over now,” I said. “I'm here, you're here, we're here. Let's just go to sleep.”