Hello Sheffield

“We will never sleep, ‘cause sleep is for the weak, no we will never rest till we’re all fucking dead!”

The familiar chant was screamed by Oli and hundreds of Bring Me The Horizon fans. Becca and I were holding hands side stage. I was more than a little tipsy but not full blown drunk just yet. It was late in the day, almost 10 o’clock.

As we all reached the last part of the chant before the guys started playing, Becca and I ran out onstage and vaulted ourselves over the short distance between the stage and the barrier into the hands of the crowd.

I laughed as the crowd tossed me around. Oli was shaking his head and smiling when I saw him though Matt’s concerned eyes followed Becca all the way from the drum kit. I could hear complaints and squeals as Becca and I passed over the crowd but I was giddy from my adrenaline high.

Becca fell through the crowd before I did and we both made our way out the back of the group. I fell into her laughing and giggling. We stumbled around, not quite sober, and found our way to the Drop Dead tent.

Sam was talking to a few girls while Jesse pulled clothes off of their hangers. Jesse’s eyes flashed over toward us in amusement and he retreated behind the table. I whooped in joy as he lifted the bottle of Bacardi we’d been drinking from earlier and held it out to me.

“Olivia, you never cease to amaze me,” he said, shaking his head. I laughed and took a deep swig from the bottle. I recoiled from the taste; as often as I drank Bacardi, I’d never be fully immune to its taste. Becca stole the bottle from me.

“Darling, that’s why you love me!”

He grinned and shook his head. “Sh, before my girlfriend hears you!”

My eyes went wide as I looked back at Sam. She glanced up at me from the girls and smirked, tossing some of her blonde hair behind her shoulder. I knew that she knew what Jesse had told me.

“Aw, you guys,” I drawled. He rolled his eyes and I pushed him. Becca took another sip out of the bottle. She handed it to me but I shook my head. I wasn’t sure what Oliver had waiting for me on the bus. I hugged him tightly.

“Don’t you have a rockstar to be fucking or something?” he joked. I cackled loudly and nodded.

“Oh yeah! I almost forgot, silly me.”

Becca and I steered ourselves away from the Drop Dead tent. She was getting drunk quickly. Security shot us looks from the bottle she held but then I held up a pass and trotted away quickly.

Finally we made it past the fences and toward the bus. Sheep was standing outside with two other guys whom I’d never before met. They smoked cigarettes and laughed loudly. Sheep nodded at me and I entered the bus.
Despite the fact that it was only 10 o’clock, there were already a colorful variety of people on the bus. My eyes immediately searched for Oli, but they didn’t find him. Instead they landed on Lee, who sat next to Jona.

“Where’s Oli?” I asked, leaning down so no one near me could hear. I vaguely heard Jeffree Star’s voice in the background and cringed. Lee smiled sympathetically.

“I think he’s still helpin’ the crew actually. Matty’s about to rip Becca a new arsehole over the jumpin’ though,” he warned. I looked up and already saw my friend and her boyfriend looking stormy. I nodded.

“Thank you Lee. Good set tonight, by the way.”

“As if yeh remember it yeh drunkard!”

I laughed at him through the growing amount of people as I stepped off the bus. The night air was cool. We were in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. Thinking about it made my skin crawl. The weeks were flying and the time I would spend with my mother was encroaching upon me.

“Liv, there yeh are!”

Without even looking up I knew it was my boyfriend. His arms wrapped around me like an iron cage and he kissed the top of my head. I snuggled into his chest. He smelled like shower water and hard scrubbing soap.

“Jeffree’s inside,” I whispered, leaning up and kissing the underside of his jaw. I felt his groan vibrate in his chest. “And Matty’s pissed at Becca.”

“The fuck for?” he asked, his accent coming through heavily. I giggled at it, tightening my arms around him. Some days I wished we were back in Sheffield, laying on the couch watching movies, tangled up in just each other.

“Diving into the crowd.”

“Ah, he has to stop treatin’ her like a china doll. I mean, my girlfriend is a princess yeah? And I let her get shaken up a bit, nothin’ wrong with that,” he said.

“Hm, well your princess girlfriend might show up anytime now so I best be off,” I said, pulling myself out of his arms. He laughed and pulled me back.

“Oh hush, yeh sarcastic little bird. Let’s ride with Jesse and Samantha tonight then? Have a quiet night in,” he suggested. I agreed quickly and without stepping onto the bus, we wove around to find the smaller vans.

A few people spotted us, though we blended in easily with the massive amounts of kids streaming through the gates. Oli laced our fingers together as we listened to the hum of the content crowd. I smiled.

Finally we weaved in between the line, apologizing softly for cutting the line. I heard a quick “Is that Oliver Sykes?” and then we were off again, disappearing between vans of varying sizes and color.

“Well, well, well if it isn’t our boss,” I heard an obnoxious, haughty voice say. There was a high-pitched chuckle that I could tell came from a drunk female. “And his pretty princess, hm, to what do we owe the pleasure of this visit?”

“Shut up yeh dumb twat, we’re ridin’ with yeh tonight. We’ve got some, eh, unpleasant visitors on the bus tonight.”

“He means Jeffree!” I piped in, quieting down when he glared at me. Jeffree Star was nice, in small doses.

“But, um, yeah, we’ll just chill in the back if that’s cool. Can’t imagine we’ll be much trouble.”

“Mhm,” Jesse said, shifting his gaze suspiciously between the two of us. He adopted a British accent. “None of all that, erm, snoggin’ in the back of my van, yeah?”

I broke down into laughter. It was annoyingly funny how well everyone here thought they could pull off the accent. I’d been among those people who thought they mocked Brits well but then I went to live surrounded by them. Oli grimaced and shook his head.

It would be at least 45 minutes before anyone started moving. When people did start to move it would mostly be smaller bands and the vendors. Jesse and Oli spoke in hushed tones about bands while Sam and I looked on her iPhone at the new Nikki Lipstick clothing line.

Finally, after exhausting my buzz with boredom, we were climbing into the back of the van and pulling out of the dirt that had made up the parking lot. It took a while to find the lull of the highway but I was at home with the smooth road moving at 70 miles and the overhead lights passing by quickly.

The GPS burned bright in the center of the windshield. I put my legs over Oli’s lap and grabbed a sweatshirt from the ground, propping it behind my back against the van’s door for comfort. Jesse and Sam fought quietly over what music to play but I could tell Sam had already won.

“This is my relaxing playlist,” she said, turning to give me a smile. I returned it and then grinned as Mayday Parade came on quietly. Jesse looked at her and smiled, pulling her hand into his as he drove.

I glanced down at my phone and then Oli’s hand was in front of my face. I focused on his palm, seeing a small pill there. He smiled when I looked up at him, proffering it to me. I took it from his hand. He held another one and placed it in his mouth. We each swallowed the pills without water.

I wasn’t exactly sure what it was that he had given me, but based on my newfound experience, I could safely say it was Ecstasy. I leaned my head back against the tinted glass and waited for the happiness to kick in.

I didn’t go crazy on E anymore. In fact, the only drug I’d ever gone crazy on since my experience was when I tried cocaine for the second time in my life. I’d done it first in college with a bunch of my roommate’s friends. The second time I’d been on a tour bus with half of Blood On The Dance Floor and the two girls from The Millionaires. Oli watched me carefully, staying sober.

Even with my new, small resistance to going nuts on Ecstasy, there were some downsides. For one, the small white pills gave me a hyped up sex drive. At the best of times I wanted to fuck my boyfriend’s brains out. At those times, I could barely control myself.

I wasn’t necessarily sure what was going to happen in the backseat of this van.

Pure bliss flooded my veins and colors exploded behind my closed eyelids. I giggled happily which turned to chuckles and then full blown, side cracking laughter. Oliver joined me until we were heaped on top of each other. I vaguely heard Sam reprimanding Oli for not giving her a ‘happy pill’ and huffing.

I knew that we were being annoying and babbling but Jesse and Sam just laughed. Eventually my need to keep talking ended. Time passed so fast at some times and so slow at others. I drank four water bottles.

When the dashboard said 1:30, Oli and I were laying down in the back. I was half on top of him and my high wasn’t at its climax but it was still floating in the clouds. Every once in a while he would a press a kiss to my lips, my nose, my forehead. It was quiet in the van.

“Two days till I meet your mum,” he said into my ear, placing a kiss there after the words ended. Goosebumps trailed down the entire right side of my body from his breath.

“That’s gonna be a lot of fun,” I said lightly, the sarcasm getting lost in my unending happiness. “Well, not really. I was being sarcastic.”

“I hope she doesn’t hate me.”

“Well, she barely likes me and I’m her kid so you shouldn’t take it too harshly. My totes perf sister might be home so she’ll be too busy fawning over her,” I mumbled into his shoulder. The colors behind my eyelids were fading.

“Hm, well I have big plans for yeh when we get there.”

I picked my head up and looked into his eyes. They were full of warm liquid chocolate and I tilted my head. He smiled a very small smile and I narrowed my eyes at him. My stomach filled with butterflies and warmth rushed through me, though it wasn’t drug induced.

I pressed a kiss to his lips firmly, rubbing my thumb lightly over his cheekbone. He hummed contently.

“I’m so happy I met you Oli.”

My heart was so full and happy that I could have cried.

“Yeh’ve really made my life Olivia.”

With those words and the kiss that followed them, I felt like I was invincible.