Playing Innocence

Real loss only occurs when you lose something that you love more than yourself. For Derek De Raine it was her, Evette, his lover for the past fifteen years after the loss of his first wife. He loved Evette and their twelve year age gap never seemed to be a problem.

They met through work at the London Bridge Hospital. She was an operating theatre scrub nurse a few months shy of twenty-two. Quite a small women, 5'3, slender with alabaster skin and long dark auburn hair. To Derek, she was his princess.

They were the ideal couple. Anybody who was anybody wanted to be them but like most parts of Derek's life, not everything was how it seemed. He was well respected in many social circles but was corrupt. From burglary to murder and all that is in between Derek had, at one point, been involved.

All the time he spent away from home slowly took its toll on their relationship. They talked less and less and time they spent together grew further apart. One thing that Derek had never expected though was how Evette would eventually bring his world crashing down.

A parking fine, a delayed flight and no-one to welcome him home. Christmas eve and Derek was late. The black taxi eventually pulled up in front of his Beaconsfield home in Buckinghamshire. He hauled himself out into the bitterly cold night, pulling his coat tightly around him as he made his way up the snow covered path.

The dim light from the dying fire flooded the hallway as Derek entered. An empty bottle of wine and two used glasses left abandoned on the coffee table behind ungracefully discarded clothing stirred something inside him. No. No it couldn't be possible.

Murmurs of pleasure floated from the kitchen and a stab of pain instantly hit Derek. Hard. Very hard. Holding his breath he walked down the narrow hall towards the sounds. Rounding the corner, everything he had ever loved in the world shattered. He never wanted to see his Evette wrapped up in another mans arms in the throes of ecstasy.

Propped up on the kitchen bench, Evette's legs wrapped around the mans waist pulling his body into hers. His hands snaked across her stomach and her head lolled gently to the side as he kissed up her neck. His hand slid up under her bra, pinching her already erect nipple and she let out a gasp. Derek closed his eyes as if in a desperate bid to wake himself from a bad dream.

Bodies moving together. Hands exploring. Mouths tasting. The man thrusting harder, deeper, faster than before. He was rough, she liked it, her nails nails dug into his fleshy back. Breaths grew shorter. and the smell of sex lingered in the air. Evette took the mans face in her hands and kissed him deeply.

So many questions race through Derek's mind far quicker than he could ever think. Her actions triggered a wash of anger. Anger and confusion, laced with guilt, his guilt, the guilt for not being there when she needed him. He felt weak as hot tears welled up when the mystery man finally revealed himself.

Leroy, the cunt was Leroy. Best friends for over twenty-nine years and that's the thanks Derek got. Disgust, disgust was all that Derek could feel for the man he once called a friend, no one who says they love you could or would ever do that to you.

The tears fell effortlessly down his cheeks but he felt nothing, he was hollow. He never formed attachments to people, it was always trouble, but it was different with Evette, he let her in and he paid the ultimate price. Never in his life had Derek ever felt so numb.

Black. Everything was black. No sound, no light, no nothing. Just black. Derek sat motionless on the soft carpeted floor of the master bedroom listening to his breaths. There was no memory of what happened, if anything, it was nothing more than TV static.

The moonlight that filtered in through the window danced across the room. It hit his hand and he knew at that moment he had done something he'd grow to regret. Even in the pale moonlight he knew it was blood, that his hand, like the rest of him was covered in blood.

Memories started fluttering back. The rage that was felt, the sheer feeling of wanting to destroy both Leroy and Evette. Ripping him off her, throwing him across the room, kicking him repetitively. He remembered. She screamed at Derek to stop. Begged, pleaded. Spinning around to meet her gaze. She was terrified, the rage in his eyes frightened her.

Derek shut his eyes in another desperate bid to erase what he was seeing. He couldn't have hurt her, he just couldn't, he never laid a hand on her. Never would and never could, or until now.

The memories just wouldn't stop. He remember she tried to run, he grabbed her by the hair, yanked her backwards throwing her to the ground in one swift movement. Climbed on top of her pinning her to the ground. Punched her in the face. One, two, three, four times. She coughed and spluttered, crying out in pain. He screamed at her, punched her again, called her a whore.

He picked her up like his own personal rag doll, threw her against the wall. Smashed her face first into it. Asked if she liked it rough while he smashed her face into the wall again. Hardly recognizable as herself. Letting her go, she slid down the wall crumbling to the ground. Tears streamed through the blood.

He kicked her, hard. She gasped for air, clawed at the ground in an attempt to escape his wrath. He tipped her off balance with his foot. Stomped on her back made her cry out in pain. He didn't stop till she lay motionless on the ground.