To Write Love on His Arms

June sat in the drivers seat, both of his hands on the steering wheel. He wore an old white shirt and torn up jeans with a whole on his left knee. I sat in the passengers seat looking out the window as the trees whizzed by. I was basically wearing the same thing as him except my jeans were new. June had told me about how we had to help his dad fix up a house. It sounded interesting but I was extremely nervous and scared. Nervous because I was going to meet new people, scared because of all the loud noises I'd be hearing.

I shivered and ran my hands up and down my arms. It was so fucking cold. We left the house at four in the morning. I was extremely tired because I had barely gotten any sleep last night. I sighed and shivered again, feeling goosebumps appear across my flesh.

"Cold Sunshine?" June asked, taking one hand off the steering wheel and reaching in the back seat of the car. I heard a backpack unzip and June pulled something out. He grabbed the light green plush and hand it to me. A blanket. I said a small thank you and gladly took the cloth and wrapped myself in it, breathing it's scent in.

It smelt like June. I smiled to myself and snuggled into the blanket, resting my head against the window. Ever since I broke down a couple days ago in front of June, we've gotten closer. Before, being around him I felt out of place and like I had rough edges, not fitting into the puzzle of a beautiful picture. Then after he had calmed me down that day, I felt all smooth and more at ease than before.

Though I had warmed up to being around June, my sleep has gotten worse. I mostly get an hour of sleep until I start reliving nightmares of my past and then I wake up screaming. I scream and I cry and then I hear Lyn darting through the door, followed by the hall light going on and June coming into my room.

Then they both calm me down and try getting me to sleep, only to have me wake up again thirty minutes later screaming. The cycle continues happening a couple times until I decided to just stay awake at night. June offered to stay awake with me but I convinced him to just try getting his sleep.

"It's too silent." I heard June say and then I heard a click, followed by the stereo coming to life. A familiar song filled my ears and I felt my stomach drop and my throat go dry.

Tell me that you love me,
and it'll be alright.
are you thinking of me?
Just come to me tonight.
I know I need you, just like you need me.
Can't stop won't stop, I must be dreaming.

I felt my eyes prickle with tears and my bottom lip quivered. I remembered that I use to absolutely love this song. I'd sing it almost every day and every night because a couple years ago I had found it online and showed it to my parents. They fell in love with it instantly and for three months straight I'd wake up to my mom and dad singing it too each other.

I'd get up from bed in the morning and walk downstairs only to be met by both my dad and mom cooking breakfast while this song played in the background from my dad's lap top on the kitchen table.

My parents loved each other a lot. Anyone who knew them would tell you that they truly were meant to be, and even if you didn't know them and just stared at them for five minutes in public, you'd see the way they looked at each other. With love.

And I've always admired that about them, how strong their love for one another was. They loved each other so much and I was grateful for it, because when I was growing up I was always surrounded by them doing little things to each other to show their love. I grew up being taught how to be kind and how to love and respect.

Then I started doing small things too, like a drawing or maybe I'd try making dinner to show them that I loved them and I was glad they were my parents. We'd always do that. Surprise one another with something special and it made our family bond stronger.

Then Isaiah came along and I was such a fool to fall for him. I did love Isaiah, I really did. I thought he was the one and when ever I'd come home from a date with him, me and my mom would bake sugar cookies and talk about the date and gush over it like high school girls. And this song, It meant a whole lot to me.

On the day of our six month anniversary, I set up a big romantic date for Isaiah and I. I sang him this song, I sang it just for him and he knew how much that song meant to me.

Now I regret it though. I regret it because he was such a fake and full of lies and he hurt me. He ruined me. Isaiah ruined me and he knew it, it was his plan all along. He abused me so much and I was an idiot to believe that maybe all the slaps, the kicks and the words were one time things and would go away.

I was wrong though. I loved Isaiah and I was stupid to do so.

I fell in love with the devils son and look at where its left me now.

Ruined forever.