Lima Loser - Part Two.

I walked into the auditorium the next day for Glee rehearsal, hand-in-hand with Blaze. We were official now. I knew it was going way too fast, and I wasn’t even over Puck or planning to be over him anytime soon, but Blaze wanted us to be an item. And if I wasn’t going to be happy, I might as well make someone else happy. On another note, everyone made sure it was as awkward as possible by staring at us like we were on crack.

“Good afternoon!” Mr. Schue walked into the music room as we took a seat next to each other. Schue gave mine and Blaze’s linked hands a weird look, and then continued. “Let’s just get to the assignment and not waste time today, okay? I have more exciting plans for us tomorrow.”

“Like what?” Artie asked.

“Well, we’re going to finish up our solo classic rock songs today, but tomorrow, I’m going to put you all into groups of two, and you’re going to come up with another classic rock song.”

“Well, what’s the point of that?” Quinn asked.

“The point is, I’m not going to be able to get you all to perform classic rock songs by yourself. Some of you just aren’t comfortable with it. That’s why I’m going to pair you guys up tomorrow, so it won’t be as difficult for you to perform. Deal?”

“Yeah, whatever,” Santana rolled her eyes. “Look, when can we do something we actually want to do? The only people in here who wanna do rock are the guys and the freakshow over there…” she pointed to me.

My eyes nearly popped out of my head. “I’ll show you a freakshow, you little sl-”

Mr. Schuester cut me off. “Hey! Stop it. Both of you. Now, I know most of you don’t even like rock, but if we want to beat Vocal Adrenaline at regionals this year, we can’t only do one or two types of music. And classic rock is one of the biggest genres out there, so we need to make this one of our stronger areas. Understood?”

We all nodded, some more enthusiastically than others. “So! Who has something prepared for us today?”

Finn’s hand shot up in the air, and Mr. Schuester gestured for him to take over the stage. He walked up the stairs onto the stage with his hands in his pockets.

“I gotta take a little time…
A little time to think things oveeer.
I better read between the lines…
In case I need it when I'm olllder.
Aaaah woah-ah-aahhhh.”

“Now, this mountain I must climb…
Feels like a world upon my shoulders.
And through the clouds I see love shine…
It keeps me warm as life grows colder.”

“In my lifeee, there's been heartache and pain!
I don't know if I can faaaace it again!
Can't stop now! I've traveled so far!
To change this lonely liiiife!”

“I wanna know what love iiiiis!
I want you to show meeeee!
I wanna feel what love iiiis!
I know you can show meeee!
Aaaah woah-oh-oh!”

“I'm gonna take a little time…
A little time to look around me.
I've got nowhere left to hide…
It looks like love has finally found me.”

I wasn’t even gonna lie, I was a little jealous of the way Finn stared at Rachel as he sang this song. No, of course I didn’t like Finn in that way. But he actually looked in love and happy. I, on the other hand, was one big ball of confusion. So, yeah, I was jealous. Jealous that Rachel had a man that actually cared.

“In my lifeee, there's been heartache and pain!
I don't know if I can faaaace it again!
Can't stop now! I've traveled so far!
To change this lonely liiiife!”

“I wanna know what love iiiiis!
I want you to show meeeee!
I wanna feel what love iiiis!
I know you can show meeee!”
“I wanna know what love iiiiis!
I want you to show meeeee!
I wanna feel what love iiiis!
I know you can show meeee!

“Let's talk about love!”

The rest of us decided to help him out by cutting in with the “I wanna know what love is”, and let Finn finish it off.

Rest of Glee Club: “(I wanna know what love is!)”
Finn: “The love that you feeeeel inside!”
“(I want you to show me!)”
“ I'm feeling so much looove!”
“(I wanna feel what love is!)”
“No, you just cannot hiiiiide!”
“(I know you can show me!)”
“Yeah, woah-oh-ooh!”

The song ended, and I had to admit, it was a great song choice and it worked amazingly with Finn’s voice. Everyone clapped, as usual. Finn walked off the stage, and Mike Chang took his place.

“So,” he began when he was on the stage. “I know I don’t get too vocally involved in this club, but I found a song that I really like and I’m willing to try it out.”

“Go for it, Mike,” Mr. Schue encouraged him. To be honest, I was excited to hear his voice again. It wasn’t that bad, even though he didn’t really like it and mostly contributed to the club with dance.

“Can I get one of my boys up here to help out?” Mike looked out at us. Matt stood up right away and made his way to the front of the stage. I had a feeling this would be good, considering they were both the best entertainers in the club.

Mike: “Can you feel it, see it, hear it today?
If you can't, then it doesn't matter anyway.
You will never understand it, ‘cause it happens too fast.
And it feels so good, it's like walking on glass.
It's so cool, it's so hip, it's so right.
It's so groovy, it's outta sight.
You can touch it, smell it, taste it so sweet.
But it makes no difference ‘cause it knocks you off your feet.”

“You want it all, but you can't have it!”

“It's cryin', bleedin', lying on the floor.
So you lay down on it and you do it some more.
You've got to share it, so you dare it.
Then you bare it, then you tear it.”

Mike and Matt jumped around the stage, throwing moves out there that I wouldn’t even be able to come up with. It was insanity, and I loved it. The amount of talent in New Directions made me proud to be a part of it.

“You want it all, but you can't have it!
It's in your face, but you can't grab it!”

It's alive, afraid, a lie, a sin.
It's magic, it's tragic, it's a loss, it's a win.
It's dark, it's moist, it's a bitter pain.
It's sad it happened and it's a shame.”

“You want it all, but you can't have it!
It's in your face, but you can't grab it!”

Mike: “What is it?”
Matt: “IT'S IT!”
Mike: “What is it?”
Matt: “IT'S IT!”
Mike: “What is it?”
Matt: “IT'S IT!”
Mike: “What is it?”
Matt: “IT'S IT!”

Mike: “What is it?”
Matt: “IT'S IT!”
Mike: “What is it?”
Matt: “IT'S IT!”
Mike: “What is it?”
Matt: “IT'S IT!”
Mike: “What is it?”

Mike: “You want it all, but you can't have it!
It's in your face, but you can't grab it!”

Matt: “IT'S IT!”
Mike: “What is it?”
Matt: “IT'S IT!”
Mike: “What is it?”
Matt: “IT'S IT!”
Mike: “What is it?”
Matt: “IT'S IT!”
Mike: “What is it?”

If anything about this assignment were to get me pumped, it would have to be that performance. Those guys just never stopped moving. It was incredible. Everyone else seemed to think so, too, because we were all cheering, even more than we had for the other performances.

“Anyone else wanna give it a try?” Mr. Schue began to ask, but before he even had the words out, I was making my way up on stage with my guitar accompanying me.

I pulled a chair up to the microphone stand and lowered it to where my mouth was. “Wow, this stage makes me feel real small,” I spoke into it. Everyone laughed. “Anyway, hope you guys enjoy this.”

I don’t really know what came over me, but I just really felt the need to perform. I really needed all eyes on me, especially Puck’s, and I was willing to do anything to make that happen. I was starting to feel like Rachel, being a spotlight hog and such. Oh well. I began the intro to one of my favorite songs, and stared out into the audience, hoping to see just two eyes staring back at me.

“And the men who hold high places…
Must be the ones who start.
To mold a new reality,
Closer to the heart.
Closer to the heart.”

“The blacksmith and the artist…
Reflect it in their aa-art.
They forge their creativity,
Closer to the heart.
Yes, closer to the heart.”

“Philosophers and ploughmen!
Each must know his part.
To sow a new mentality,
Closer to the heart.
Yes, closer to the heeeeaaaart! Yea-ah!
Whooooa!”

I began the guitar solo I’d been trying to master for over a year, and was extremely nervous as I tried. I mean, come on. I was playing Rush here, for Christ’s sake. If I fucked up on a Rush song, I’d hate myself forever.

Well, I succeeded. I didn’t fuck up the guitar solo, which was a major accomplishment. I mean, I didn’t do the best job, but it was alright. I did it without making a fool out of myself. And then I began to sing again.

“Whoa-oh!
You can be the captain.
I will draw the chart.
Sailing into destiny,
Closer to the heart.
Closer to the heart.

Well, closer to the heeeeaaaart! Yeaah!
Closer to the heart.
Closer to the heeaaart.
I said, closer to the heart.
Well, closer to the heeeeaaaart! Yee-ah!
Closer to your heart.
Closer to your heart.
Whoa-ohhh-ohhhh!”

I finished off the song with a few chords, and then stood up. I was about to apologize for the crap performance into the microphone, but it seemed that everyone else (minus Santana) had a different opinion. They were all on their feet, clapping, whistling, the works. I just gaped out at them, wondering if they were just fucking around with me. I mean, my vocals were just meh, and my guitar skills were nowhere near Puck’s.

Puck, I thought to myself as my eyes wandered through the faces in the crowd. They eventually found his, and I noticed that he was standing up, clapping, and smiling. He looked…happy? It was strange. At first I thought he was just trying to look like the nice guy, but he actually looked kind of…proud of me.

I took my eyes away from his to prevent me from looking like a creep. I think Blaze noticed, though, where my eyes were focused, and he looked pretty bummed that I cared more about Puck’s reaction than his.

I realized that I’d been standing on the stage for a lot longer than I should’ve been, possibly taking away someone else’s chance to perform. I quickly headed off of the stage with my guitar and went back to where Blaze was sitting. I received pats on the back from almost everyone, and a kiss on the cheek from Blaze. Yet, I still couldn’t get the way Puck was smiling at me out of my mind. If anything, he should’ve been pissed off, or at least sad.

Was he trying to win me back by being extremely nice? Was he just tricking me again? I hated his mixed signals, and I didn’t think I’d be finding out what his intentions were anytime soon, but still. Curiosity was fucking slaughtering the cat.

“Woo! That was epic, Courtney!” Mr. Schue grinned widely. “I think that’s a great way to end off this rehearsal, but if anyone has anything else…”

Blaze spoke up. “I’d love to let my inner rock loose.”

“Sweet!” Schue kept the grin on his face. “Whatcha got for us, Blaze?”

Blaze walked up to the stage. I was nervous for what he was going to sing. Why? Because I’d just been a total dick to him during my performance by paying too much attention to Puck, and the last time a guy I liked sang, it didn’t turn out very well. I was scared that Blaze was going to do the same thing Puck did to me, and damn, I couldn’t handle it happening twice. Especially in front of the first guy who’d done it to me.

But luckily, Blaze had a different approach. The band began to play, and Blaze began to headbang. It was actually kind of attractive. Then, when the vocals started, he glared out, straight into Puck’s eyes.

“When there's lightning…! You know it always brings me doown.
‘Cause it's free, and I see, that it's me,
Who's lost and never foooound!
I cry for magic! I feel it dancing in the liiight.
It was cooold… lost my hoooold,
To the shadows of the niiiiight!”

“There's no sign of the morning coming…
You've been left on your own…
Like a rainbow in the dark!”

“Do your demons…do they ever let you go?
When you've tried, do they hide, deep inside?
Is it someone that you know?
You're just a picture, just an image caught in time.
We're a lie! You and I!
We're words without a rhyme!”

“There's no sign of the morning coming…
You've been left on your own…
Like a rainbow in the dark!
Just a rainbow in the dark! Yeeeaah!”

I was so fucking relieved that Blaze wasn’t singing this to me, and it was even better that it was directed towards Puck. Maybe now he’d know what it felt like to be humiliated in front of everyone like I was. Plus, the song choice was perfect, which made me like Blaze more, and he sang it like a beast.

“When I see lightning, you know it always brings me dooown!
‘Cause it's free, and I see, that it's me,
Who's lost and never foooound!
Feel the magic! I feel it floating in the air!
But it's fear! And you'll heeear,
It calling you beware!
Look out!”

“There's no sign of the morning coming…
There's no sight of the day…
You've been left on your own…
Like a rainbow…like a rainbow in the dark!
Yeeaah-ahhh!”

“You’re a rainbow in the da-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-ark!
Just a rainbow in the dark!
No sign of the morninggggg.
You’re a rainbow…in the dark!”

When it ended, most of us were on our feet again. I looked around, and just so happened to notice that Puck’s face was blood red. He looked pissed all over again, and could I blame him? …Yeah, yeah, I could.