A Shot at Love

Elena...♥


I pulled the basket down towards the bed, I sat with my legs spread out in front of me before I dug my nails into the pieces of paper which crumpled. I stopped and looked towards the door, crazed at the fact that Kellan's face would pop out in front of me, leaving with nothing more to say or do than to hang my head low and walk out with a suitcase back home. I pulled out files from left to right, they were very light, which was something I hadn't expected.

Almost all the other girls in this stupid game had nothing in their files except wilted roses. Probably indicating that they were still going to be here until the next results show which I had to add, was in a couple days. I picked up Eren's file and a couple papers fell out. I put Eren's file onto my lap before picking up the stray papers and reading what were on them. My heart sunk and cracked with every word I read.

June 4, 2O11

I don't understand what I find so attractive about Eren. There's so much beauty a woman could hold. I've never seen anything like it before. For her I can see her as my wife, no body else. Her attitude is phenomenal and my first impressions about her are exactly what I was looking for.

I pulled out another paper after tossing the old one back into Eren's file

July 11

The feelings I've had for Eren have grown, but it feels more of a sexual passion for me than a heart to heart connection. I've noticed her behavior for a month now. I think that's why I haven't written anything in her file yet. At first I thought she could be a good wife. A beautiful one to. But that's all I saw. It was her beauty. Now it's just...her behavior, her attitude, and her possible place in my heart. And I honestly don't know what to do. She's just...there now. But I'll continue to let her stay here because she's really trying with me. I guess I can try with her as well...But I'm just confused with her at this point. She's seductive. Whenever I try to speak to her she ends up touching me, or flirting, or making me feel like I want her. And it's not how I am, it's not like I would do anything with her NOW. Not until it was if I married her.

Than one stopped right there. It frustrated me, no other notes, entries, nothing. It just stopped at a dot dot dot and it hit me in the center of my heart. I looked wickedly for my file, looking under the basket, under the stack of piles, again and again, but they were no where to be found. I sat back against the bed with tears wielding in my eyes. I wasted my time for nothing. Nothing...

I quickly stood up and crammed the files back into the basket and putting it back where it belonged. I leaned against the wall and looked over at his room. I don't think my brain was telling my legs to move and get out of there because I just stood there like a deer caught in headlights and waited for something bad to happen. Probably for Kellan to come back and yell at me so I have a reason to really get up and leave with a suit case in my hand back to my pathetic little life with no love or happiness, with nothing.

All this time...he kissed me and told me I meant something. I'm not even with him and it hurts more than hell! This is called love I guess. When your stomach has butterflies every time he speaks to you. When you can't look him in the eye because you're scared to see all the beauty he holds. When you can't speak properly because you're too busy trying to think of what to say next. When you can't even seem to look beautiful like normal because you know you're gonna be with him.

That's what happened to me. Love happened, and life and the girls weren't so nice to me about it till now. All the girls except Eren. Eren always won. She had to win. That's how it was. No wonder she came here. She was manipulative and broke my relationship with her after humiliating me and disgracing me on live television. It all hurts so much. I didn't realize how badly this affected me till my tears soaked my blood red shirt I had. I wiped my face and was about to reach for the door when I saw something sparkling. I turned my head and saw Kellan's watch on his desk on top of a file. I looked from one camera to the file before slowly inching towards it. I picked up the beautiful silver watch and put it to the side before I saw the file with 'Elena' stenciled into the side.

I thought it would be more lighter than anything in the world so I grabbed it with one fragile hand and pulled it towards me to only find how heavy and weighed down it was. I grappled for it when all the papers inside the file spilled out and onto the floor. I looked to the door, my hands sweating, my heart racing. I bent down and fell on my knees before picking the papers up and forcefully and quickly putting them back into my file. I grabbed one paper and turned it to face the right side up when I gasped. The most quickest. The most mind blowing, heart pounded, tear gushing sound I have ever made at the sight of it. It was beautiful. It was an art piece, a pencil sketch. And it was me.

I sat against the wall as my knees couldn't hold me up any longer. I grasped the paper and looked at it. The title was 'Beauty' and it had me...my picture. Kellan signed it on the bottom and I gave the biggest smile any girl in the world could. I held it close to my heart as tears fell past my cheeks. He...did his for me. He thought I was beautiful. He named me Beauty and drew a definition of it too. This was beauty. He was beauty, the whole meaning of it. Beautiful he was, a gentleman. Any girl would want to fight for him, and I was one of those girls.

I put the pencil sketch to the side of me and looked through the other beautiful pictures of me. There was a picture of me and Kellan, Kellan wearing a tuxedo and me, wearing a brides dress. Beautiful flowy, white gown. He was looking down at me while I was looking at where the camera would be. The picture looked so real. Look so true. He thought of marrying me. He drew it down to. He thought of how I'd look and how he'd embrace my beauty in. The dress, the tuxedo, the bridal stage, the reception. Everything. He planned it out in his head before he sketched it down on paper. I looked at the date. July 12. My hand went over my mouth. This was just a couple days ago. This was after he saw me crying in my room. This was after he told me how much he liked me.

I pulled out a couple other papers, his elegant handwriting scrawled across it.

I Love You But You Will Never Know

Every day I stand there,
Not knowing what to say,
So I just hide and watch you pass,
Each and every day.

You are like some sort of perfection,
That I just can’t describe,
You are simple and amazing,
And I wish that you were mine.

Sometimes I tell myself,
Today will be the day,
But when I finally see you,
There is nothing for me to say.

Silence clings to my lips,
My brain goes eerily numb,
How can I possibly look you in the eye,
And tell you, you are the one?

So day by day I wait,
Never getting anywhere,
Never saying how I feel,
Or showing you how I care.

All I know is that I love someone,
That lights up my whole day,
But she will never ever know,
That I even feel this way.

Yet now I finally understand,
That my feelings, I can’t show.
And each and every day I realize,
That though I love you;
You will never know.

I choked on sobs as joy over came me. I threw a hand over my mouth as I heard footsteps coming down the hallway. I became alert and numb when I heard Violet stopping Kellan, "Kellan oh my gosh come down here! I have to show you something!" Kellan responded, "What is it?" And he raced down after her. I shoved my papers back into the file and grabbed the paper of Me and Kellan, the wedding that he drew of our perfection before placing his watch right on top of my file and racing out of the room. I was walking down to my room when Kellan stopped me, "Elena!" I froze. My heart pounded and I couldn't breath as I turned to look at him, folding the paper in my hands, "Hey I have to tell you something." He said unlocking his door as I smiled at him, "Okay." I responded, "I'll meet up in your room with you. Go ahead! I got something I want to show you." He smiled as he walked in.

I quickly spun into my room and shoved the paper into my suitcase. What was he gonna show me. As I turned around Kellan was closing the door to my room, "Sit down." He smiled at me as he held a paper in his hand. I sat criss cross on my bed as he sat in front of me. The closest I've ever seen him. He was inches from my face and couldn't pull his eyes from mine, "What is it?" I wondered as I looked down at his hands, "I uh...made this for you yesterday."

He cleared his throat and opened the paper. I couldn't see the words on it because I was too busy looking at his face as he seemed to look nervous every second. He looked into my eyes before he spoke.

"Every day I stand there,
Not knowing what to say,
So I just hide and watch you pass,
Each and every day."

My jaw dropped, it was the poem he made for me and it was the one I read just now!

"You are like some sort of perfection,
That I just can’t describe,
You are simple and amazing,
And I wish that you were mine.

Sometimes I tell myself,
Today will be the day,
But when I finally see you,
There is nothing for me to say.

Silence clings to my lips,
My brain goes eerily numb,
How can I possibly look you in the eye,
And tell you, you are the one?"

My eyebrows furrowed and I think that made him think that I didn't like the poem already because he stammered at the next verse before starting over. His hands shook as he clutched the paper in his hands.

"So day by day I wait,
Never getting anywhere,
Never saying how I feel,
Or showing you how I care.

All I know is that I love someone,
That lights up my whole day,
But she will never ever know,
That I even feel this way.

Yet now I finally understand,
That my feelings, I can’t show.
And each and every day I realize,
That though I love you;
You will never--"

I cut him off by throwing myself onto him. Pressing my lips against his hard. I wrapped my arms around his neck as he shockingly kissed back. My behavior caught both of us off guard because I don't ever recall wanting to act like that. He wrapped his arms around my waist as I placed myself onto his lap. I stroked his hair while kissing him passionately with every kiss. He put his one hand behind my head, making sure that I don't pull away.

We both parted taking a big breath of fresh air as he looked at me stunned. My forehead was rested against his, "W-wow..." He muttered looking deeply into my eyes as I took his face into my hands, "Wow." I responded with just as much shock, with just as much passion as he had in his voice. And this was the moment when I knew...that I loved this man...and he loved me too.