Something Vague.

Carly’s P.O.V.

Stepping off that plane and onto that hometown soil was definitely something else. All the thoughts in my head were enough to make someone go crazy. It’s been months since I was back home, back home in the cold. I hugged my small frame wishing I had another jacket. Walking up to the house my heart was beating out of my chest, my knees were going weak, my head was about to exploded from the pressure. I lifted my hand and was about to knock on the red door but then I just rolled my eyes and opened the door.

“Hello?”

The smell of home cooked meal was brought to my nostrils; it’s been awhile since I’ve had my Mom’s cooking.

“Car Car?”

I looked down the hallway and watched my little sister walk over to me, staring at me like I was some ghost. Once she realized it was really mean she went sprinting down the hallway before grabbing me into a bone crushing hug.

“Hey Paige”, I said with a smile looking down at her. “I brought you more gifts”, I said with a grin handing her the bag.

I watched her pull open the bag and saw her go through the random of things a smile on her face. I always bought her something different from every place I lived. She pulled out a hoodie with The Maine printed on it.

“I love this band!”

“Really?” I asked kind of confused and she nodded her head with a grin. “The lead singer is so cute!”

“Yeah, I guess so”, I said holding back tears, John was beautiful.

“Oh my gosh, I love this dress!” she yelled holding up the floral print.

“I figured”, I said with a smile. “I saw it at this shop in Soho and it screamed Paige.”

“I’m going to go put it on!” she yelled excitedly before grabbing me into another hug and kissing my cheek. “Thank you, thank you!”

“You’re welcome”, I said with a smile.

“Mom’s in the kitchen, she’s in a good mood so you’re safe”, she said reading my mind. “And Dad’s still at work he doesn’t get home until about 6.”

“Oh okay”, I said with a smile.

Her accent was fading and it kind of made me sad and happy. I’ve always been so insecure about my accent; starting middle school with some strange accent was always hard. I remember in class they’d always stare at me like I was some kind of freak because I talked different. They’d either think I was strange or I was cool, either way I didn’t like the attention. Who I act and who I really am is totally different. I walked down the familiar hallways that brought me to the kitchen. I watched from the corner at my Mom standing there dancing around as she cooked. I couldn’t help but to smile. She turned around and once her eyes were set on me she jumped back putting a hand over her chest.

“Oh sweetheart, you could have given me a heart attack.”

“Hi Mom”, I said with a smile holding out a bag. “I got you these.”

She grabbed the bag from my hand and placed it to the side before grabbing me into a hug. I hugged her back feeling comfort in her arms. No matter how far I tried to get away from this house and these rules it always felt amazing to come back to it.

“How have you been?”

“I’m good”, I said with a smile as she kissed my cheek.

“Go wash up, dinner’s almost ready.”

I nodded my head, for some reason once I step through those doors I instantly turned into that shy 13 year old that followed every rule. I walked down the hallway looking down at my ripped up vans going across the white marble. I walked into the bathroom and put my hands under the sink letting the warm water hit my hands. I splash the water to my face; I looked up seeing my reflection. I looked back down at my wrist seeing the bracelet, I held in the tears in my eyes. I always ran away from things, but it’s what I had to do. I whipped my face on the towel and looked down the hallways.

“Hey Jason.”

“What the fuck are you doing here?!”

“I was in town”, I said with a smile as he got up and grabbed me into a hug. “You damn giant.”

“At least one of us in this family is tall”, he said with a laugh kissing my forehead.

I just laughed messing with his hair and then walking out to the kitchen after hearing our mother calling us. I walked out and took a seat at the kitchen table, careful not to put my elbows on the table. We sat there all talking, mostly about my adventures. They just sat there listening to everything I was saying, laughing every now and then. Once I heard the doors open and shut my heart kind of stopped. I prompted up in my seat and watched as my Dad walked into the kitchen. He looked over at me and then looked again with a smile on his face.

“Look who the cat dragged in”, he said with a warm smile.

“Hi Daddy”, I said standing up and giving him a hug and kiss on the cheek.

“Well don’t you look different”, he said with a laugh. “Well that’s every time you come.”

I just nodded my head with a smile before taking a seat at the table. We continued to talk, everyone just listening to what I had to stay. You know that quote that’s like distance makes the heart fonder, well it’s definitely true in this case. I felt like I was seen and I loved it.

“So what really brings you back home?”

He saw right through me. I simply shrugged my shoulders before taking a bite of the pie that my mother baked.

“Come on Carls, I know you better than that.”

I just rolled my eyes, because he really didn’t. He never really paid attention to me, he just wanted a reason to why I was here. So I gave him one.

“I decided to think with my head and not my heart.”

“What’s that suppose to mean?” he asked confused, every single one of the looking at me.

“What I said”, I said with a laugh. “I finally thought with my head and not my heart.”

They ended it like that, we continued dinner. When that was done all of departed and went our separate ways in the house. I walked over to the living room looking over the pictures that were all hung around. My fingers going over our smiling faces, I miss being young. When you were younger everything was so easy.

“Is this heart and head thing had to do with a boy?”

I turned around and saw my Mother standing there with a concerned face. I nodded my head before taking a seat on the couch. She walked over taking the seat next to me.

“I don’t get you Carly, you always think with your heart but when something comes up where you should think with your heart you decided to try the head thinking”, she said with a laugh.

“What makes this boy so special to make you change everything that makes you, you?”

“He’s perfect.”

“And that scares you?”

I nodded my head making her laugh. “The only thing you’re scared of is swimming and the dark, and I don’t believe this boy is either one.”

“He got me to swim in a pool.”

“Well I’ll be.”

“What?”

“You love him”, she said with a laugh.

“No.”

“Carly you love him.”

“How do you figure?”

“You ran away from him, you love him.”

I looked down at my bracelet smiling a bit remembering back to when I made these for us. Flashbacks of all the moments I spent with John were flashing through my head like some kind of movie. I took a deep breath before looking over at my Mom with a sad smile.

“I hope not.”