Something Vague.

John's P.O.V.

I lay in bed in the same clothes as the previous day. I didn’t want to eat, I didn’t want to do anything but drink. I took a swig of my beer and just stared up at the ceiling humming to the song playing on the speaker.

“John.”

I didn’t dare look up I already knew this was coming. I felt my bed go down with weight and I could smell all of their cologne. The smell alone made my head woozy. I took another gulp of my beer placing it down on the floor.

“I’m fine, you can leave me alone.”

“Dude you’ve been listening to Augustana on repeat for two days straight.”

“Sweet and Low all day, it’s getting annoying!” Pat said with a smile trying to lighten the mood.

“Please save the whole pep talk, I don’t need that shit.”

“Were not here to give you a pep talk man, we’re here to fucking tell you to stop being such a fucking pussy and get to work.”

“You’re so sweet Tim”, I said reaching for the bottle, but then Jared reach for it pulling it out of my grasp. “Wow Jared, really?”

“Just listen to us.”

I looked up at Garrett who was sitting there with his gay ass fedora hat, a serious look on his boyish face. I could see the stubble from the hair on his face along with a few blemishes. He was stressed, they all were.

“I know you’re heartbroken.”

“I’m not heartbroken”, I said with a roll of my eyes feeling the alcohol adding up in my system. “I’m just tired and uninspired.”

“Whatever it is”, he said with a roll of his eyes, frustration coming out in his tone of voice. “I know you loved Carly-“

“Love.”

“Love Carly, whatever!” he yelled looking like he wanted to strangle me. “You just need to man up and get to work. This is our future and I’ll be damned if you fuck it up over some girl that you knew for what two months.”

“If I’m fucking up your future than write your own songs. Fire me and get a new fucking singer, you have options and you can’t just pin this all on me.”

“Fucking stop!”

I looked up to see Kennedy stand up from where he was sitting, looking just as annoyed as Garrett.

“Stop being such a fucking idiot, take responsibility for your own shit. We count on you man, there’s no way in hell that we could ever replace you. If our band fucks up and becomes a wash up, fuck it but I want it to happen when it’s out of our hands and not when we have a chance to become something big.”

“You need to get your shit together and start writing or at least come to the studio”, Pat said running his fingers through his hair. “There are only so many times we can lie for you. Howard is only going to be willing to work with us so long before he just gives up. No other producers are going to want to work with us, were going to be some kind of joke dude. Don’t you get it?”

“Yeah okay”, I said making Garrett roll his eyes. “Shut up Garrett, we were all there for you when you and Rachel broke up. Remember you fucking crying and acting like a pussy and we were all there for you. All I ask is for the same respect.”

“Yeah I was a fucking pussy but I still got shit done. I went to work, I did what I had to for the band.”

“Whatever dude.”

“Now get the fuck up and do something for once, because I’m sick of this shit. I don’t want to see my best friend turn into some fucking idiot that cries over some girl and lets a girl ruin his life. Now get up and let’s go write because god knows we need to. We don’t have shit.”

I just wanted to get up and punch every one of them in the mouth. They didn’t understand the shit I was going through; they didn’t understand how much this hurt. I rolled my eyes before reaching over to grab something. All the guys jumping back thinking I had some kind of gun and was planning on killing all of them. I grabbed the black notebook and threw it at Jared; it bounced of his chest and landed in his hand. He looked down at it and then back at me.

“What’s this?”

“Open it.”

He opened up the notebook and flipped through the pages. He looked over at the guys with a weird look in his eyes. They all stood up and hovered over Jared and stared down at the notebook. I just sat there feeling my mouth water looking over at the beer on the table next to Jared. They all had a strange look on their face as they flipped through the pages.

“These are amazing.”

I just nodded my head and watched as they looked from page to page. I looked over at their lips and saw them reading the lyrics, the lyrics I wrote. The lyrics I wrote for Carly, every page and every song had to do with her.

“Wow”, Jared said looking over at me.

“Now can I have my beer back?”