Love Shows When It's There

I woke up the next morning and immediately checked the time. It was eleven. SHIT! I jumped up, pulled off the sweats and pulled on my best black skinny jeans. I then pulled on my best shirt which was black and white checked. I styled my hair so that it sat okay and I brushed my teeth. Then I put on my best shoes which were my black converse and walked downstairs.

I heard people talking. Mary, and two boys. Where was Collin? I decided to ignore my wandering mind and timidly walked in.
"Oh, Alex. There you are. This is Caleb and Kyle," she said.
"Hi," I said softly.
"Hey. You must be my mom's new adopted kid. I'm Caleb," he said.
"Yeah, hey," I said. Was this the homophobic one?
"Hey, I'm Kyle, his friend," he said.
"Hey," I said again.
"Okay, Alex. Can you do me a favor? Do you know where Ross lives?" she asked.
"Yeah. I do," I replied.
"Can you run down with the basket that's in the kitchen? You don't need to be home quickly, but could you make dinner tonight?" she said.
"Sure thing Mary. I'll just go and grab it and go down," I said, smiling.

I quickly went into the kitchen and text Ross, letting him know I'm coming over with a basket thing and I was gonna hang out with him. It got me away from the awkward family thing and everyone knew how much I hated them. It was natural I would hate them though. I didn't have any family to have them with.

With that thought in mind. I left to go to Ross' house. I arrived and Ross pulled open the door.
"Hey man," he said. He grabbed the basket off me and put it on the unit. I walked in and he hugged me.
"Yo," I replied.
"Met Caleb and Kyle yet?" he asked.
"Yeah. It was kind of awkward," I admitted.
"They do make it pretty awkward, don't they?" he asked.
"Yeah, Kyle seemed...kind," I replied.
"He'll stay that way until he finds out you're gay. That is if he finds out," he replied.
"I'll try to make sure he doesn't," I replied.

"You having dinner over here or what?" he asked a couple of hours later. We'd been sitting in his room talking and watching TV.
"Nah. I've gotta cook tonight. I dunno what to cook though. Actually, talking about that, I gotta get back and see what I can cook. Thanks for keeping me busy and away from Kyle and Caleb for a while," I replied.
"Any time Lex. See you," he said. I walked down and said bye to him mom before walking out and back to the house. I couldn't really call it a home.

"Oh, Alex. There you are. I was just going to call you. How about you get dinner started? I'm going to help the boys unpack. Call us down when dinner's ready," she said before rushing off. I walked into the kitchen and made Chicken in White Wine Sauce. It was done in about half an hour and I called Mary and the two boys down.

We ate in silence and the two boys looked like they could have ate plenty more. They looked starved. I grabbed all of the plates and put them in the kitchen. Then I went through to the living room and sat down on the couch beside Mary.

"Alex, I was just telling Kyle and Caleb about your singing talent. How about you go get your guitar and show them? They don't believe me," she said to me. I didn't want to seem rude so I agreed and went upstairs and grabbed Kayla. Then I walked back downstairs.
"Have you named your guitar?" Caleb asked me when I walked in and sat down.
"Yeah. Her names Kayla," I replied.
"It's a girl?" Kyle asked me with shock.
"Yeah. It took a while to realize. I tried so many boys names and none fit. Eventually, my friend, Jack, told me that I should try a girls name and Kayla popped into my head," I explained.
"What can you play?" Caleb asked.
"What do you want me to play?" I replied.
"How about you play one of your own songs?" Mary said.
"Okay," I replied. What would I play? I went through every song I had ever written and picked three that I thought would show what I could do.
"There is a chance there may be a swear word," I warned.
"That's fine," Mary replied. "It's not like no one here's sworn before."

I nodded and started strumming.
"I've never felt so sober
I've never felt the low that I feel tonight
Your words made everything drag on, and on
I finally found her, and when I did I just couldn't make things right
Is this really happening, oh God I think I just ruined my life

What the fuck am I doing?
I can't tell the difference from wrong and right
I second guess my decisions
'Cause I haven't been this person in my whole life
I think I need something new here
When I keep longing for what I had
No need for second opinions
I do the best I can to ruin what I have
Come on

Don't think you've gotta in alone here
I've got nothing left to hide
You're dying, just make up your mind

I thought this was what you wanted
Someone who gets everything right
I thought this was what you wanted
Someone to put you first in their life
Cause we're running out of time

Something just from the new year
It's a moment that's not as bad
It's what's a part of my vision
The optimistic me, so we can make this last but no
You ruined my favorite records
By singing them then I think of you
I just hope you remember
All of the guilt inside, and I believed in you for once

Don't think you've gotta go in alone here
I've got nothing left to hide
Your time, just make up your mind

I thought this was what you wanted
Someone who gets everything right
I thought this was what you wanted
Someone to put you first in their life
Cause we're running out of time

Just know that it kills me
When I hear anything to do with you
You will see, oh believe me
I need to be right where you are
And know that I'm leaving, leaving
And you won't hear for a year from now
And this kills me 'cause now I think that everything
Everything was about you

I thought this was what you wanted
Someone who gets everything right
I thought this was what you wanted
Someone to put you first in their life
Cause we're running out of time

Don't think you've got to go in alone here
I've got nothing left to hide
Your time, just make up your mind" I finished and put down Kayla down beside me.

"You've got a voice on you Alex. You should get a band together and see if you could get signed," Kyle told me.
"Yeah. You're really good," Caleb agreed!