Love Shows When It's There

I couldn't believe myself. I blew up over nothing and look what happened. I walked through a park trying to make sense of it all, figure out exactly what made me do that. Alex... he's only tried to show me why my fear of losing him was silly. Now... look at us now.

I was too afraid to go home. How could I say that to him? He has enough on his plate as it was and I had to go and make it worse. I wandered for three hours while I hoped it had all calmed down a little, before heading home. I approached the front door slowly as I heard two people's voices from the living room.

"How's he holding up?" Matt asked the other person.
"I dunno man. He's asleep at least," Zack replied.

I opened the front door quietly, but I forgot it creaked. I heard footsteps coming towards me. I kept my eyes trained on the ground as the two footsteps came over and stopped a couple of feet in front of me.

"Look who finally showed up," Matt growled.
"Why, Jack? Why the fuck would you say something like that?" Zack added.
"He's been crying for three hours straight, believing every word you told him because he's adornment you would never lie to him," Matt said.

"Wh...where is he?" I asked softly.
"Nowhere that you're going. How fucking dare you say that to him. You have no idea what Alex went through. He's torturing himself because he doesn't think he's good enough. He's trying to pull himself together and guess what Jack, he was actually getting somewhere. He was actually getting better and all because of you. But, guess what, genius? He's back to the starting point now," Matt yelled.

"St-top it Matt. Lea-ave him al-o-one," I heard a small voice say. I looked up to see Alex, messy haired, puffy eyed and red faced standing on the staircase.
"Lex, you should be trying to get some sleep," Zack said softly, turning away from me and walking over to Alex. Alex shook his head firmly, fear flirting into his eyes. If I didn't feel bad before, I certainly did now.

"Yo-ou both ne-eed to calm do-own," Alex said softly.
"He deserves it though, Lex. After today..." Matt said softly.
"I w...won't let you ye-ell at him," Alex said, his voice changing a little. It became a little harsher.
"What do you want us to do, Lex?" Zack asked softly.
"I want you two to go back through to the living room. He's to follow me," Alex said firmly. He turned on his heel and went back upstairs. I went to follow him, slowly, as instructed but Zack put a hand on my shoulder.

"Don't you dare hurt him like that again," he growled before following Matt into the living room. I slowly followed Alex upstairs, carefully and cautiously. I walked into our room where he sat on the bed. I sat on the stool at the far end of the room and looked down. I heard the bed shift slightly.

The Alex's voice came. It wasn't the soft, quiet voice I heard not two minutes before. This time it was cold and harsh.
"Jack. Look at me," he demanded. I looked up slowly and met his eyes. "I talk, you listen. Nod if you understand." I nodded softly, keeping my eyes trained on his.

"I'm not going to sugar coat this because, quite frankly, after what you said, I'm allowed to say this. Jack, you very nearly lost me today. I'm back to stepping stone one in my path of healing. I am majorly pissed with you right now. You had no right to say what you said. But. I'll forgive you. This time. Jack, this truly is your last chance. I don't want to lose you, ever. Hell even throughout the anger and pain I'm feeling, I still fucking love you. You're still the best fucking thing to happen to me. But you mess up once more, Jack, and we're done. Period. Because I can't go through emotional trauma every time something doesn't go your fucking way."

I looked at him and nodded softly, tears pricking my eyes.
"Alex, I-"
"No. No more's to be said about it. You ranted. Now I've ranted. We're dropping it," he cut me off. We sat there in silence, staring at each other. His brown eyes stayed harsh and cold, even though he said we'd drop it. I didn't know what I could say to make him better, to make it better.