Hand of Blood

Matt's point of view.

"Look, I'm sorry, okay," I whined for the hundredth time, pressing my thumb and index finger into my eyes. "I've just been side tracked lately."

I heard my mothers scoff from the other end of the phone all too clearly, and knew she wouldn't respond right away. She was pissed at me, and to be honest, she had good reason. Her only son was taking a trip around the country in less than 24 hours, and had just happened to forget to drop in for a nice chat. The fact I hadn't visited in a couple of months probably wasn't helping my cause.

"Matthew," I heard her sigh, making me wince despite how soft the word was spoken. She used my full name. She was going to kill me.

"Mam," I replied back lightly, sauntering across to the sofa and heavily falling down on it. I tilted my head onto the low back of the sofa, my eyes meeting the ceiling.

Another sigh met my ears. "What am I going to do with you," she breathed lightly. I could picture her now. She was either pacing the room, or in much the same position that I was, head in hand.

"I'm sorry," I repeated. "If you want I could drop by now? It's still early you know, so it won't take me that long to get down to Cardiff. I could borrow Moose's car-"

"Oh, don't put yourself out dear!" She exclaimed into my weak attempt at a truce, the sarcasm dripping from her tone.

I bought my free hand to rest over my face, my eyes closing. "What do you want from me?" I whined again, slowly running my hand down my face, my fingertips hanging onto my chin.

"I just want you to remember your family once in a while, Matt."

I paused as my hand fell lifelessly to rest on my thigh, my eyes once more meeting with the ceiling. My family? My blood family, at least. These days I fell more at home in Jays cramped house for five, rather than spending the night back in my parents house. It wasn't home anymore, and hadn't been since they moved out to Cardiff. But I couldn't place all the blame on them. I wasn't exactly a perfect son myself. I wasn't the worst, but there was room for improvement.

"Honestly. It just completely slipped my mind," I mumbled apologetically into the mobile receiver, somehow finding Brianne's face in my minds eyes. "I guess I figured that you wouldn't mind having to miss me for another couple of months," I added. In truth, it was the other way around. It was killing me to leave Brianne, where I had already grown accustomed to not seeing my family.

There was a thoughtful pause from my mothers side of the airwaves. "Well, it does have it's upsides," she responded lightly, making my jaw drop, a shocked laugh forcing it's way from my chest.

"What the hell?!" I exclaimed, a smile edging it's way across my lips. "Glad to know you care, Mam!"

I heard her unmistakable snort as she held back her laughter. "You know we do, honey. Just make sure you pop by when you play your next show here, hmm?"

"Sure I will," I confirmed honestly. "I'll even bring Kayla with me for the ride."

"Oh, that would be lovely. I do miss that girl around the house," she said brightly, instantly reminding me of all the days her and Kayla would talk endlessly about hair; considering neither of my sister's were interested in it. "It's a shame she drifted apart from Rachael..."

I breathed out sharply through my nose, trying to resist the temptation to laugh. "Yeah. Well I'll see you in a few weeks then, okay?"

"Oh, I suppose," she sighed, apparently been preparing herself for a full length conversation with me. "Do remember to eat, dear. You're a twig as it is."

I rolled my eyes, sitting forward on the sofa. "I'll have you know I'm all muscle!" I replied indignantly, earning a laugh from my mother. "I love you, Mam!" I chirped in a very rehearsed tone.

She chuckled, apparently noticing. "Love you, Matt. Have fun on tour, dear."

"Will do, bye," I finished, hitting the end call button and discarding my mobile onto the sofa cushions. No sooner had I leaned back on the sofa and taken a deep breath, did the sound of giggling meet my ears. I rolled my eyes as they met with the ceiling again. "Kayla!" I called out in a bored tone.

I lazily rolled my head to the side, to see the door slowly opening and Kayla's bright blond haired head poking through. "I'm sorry Mattie, but even half of that conversation was hilarious," she admitted, laughing again as she shuffled into the room. "You are aware you have the coolest mother in the world."

"Don't let her catch you saying that, she'll adopt you," I said with a grin, Kayla's eyes lighting up slightly. "Where's Padget?"

"Seeing his parents, unlike someone else I know," she said in a sing-song tone as she rested her hands on her hips, making me sigh heavily in annoyance. "And Jay's been in that kitchen for far too long," she added as her gaze wandered the room, obviously surprised not to find our shorter friend.

I frowned slightly as my head turned to face the kitchen door on the opposite side of the room. "You're kidding me. I've been on the phone for like half an hour," I started confused, pulling myself to my feet. Last time I checked I was almost certain the kitchen had no food left in it. This, plus Jason, automatically made me suspicious.

"Oh! Investigation," Kayla hissed playfully, as she crept up behind me. I shook my head and strode over to the kitchen door, not even trying to be half as quiet about it as Kayla was. She seemed to notice that I wasn't playing along with her little game, roughly shoving me in the back as I looked into the kitchen.

"Uh, Kay? Are you sure he was in here?" I asked blankly, finding the box room just as empty as it was the last time I had been in here. I glanced over my shoulder as I felt Kayla lean up against me, tiptoeing to see over me and into the room.

"Uhm. Pretty sure, yeah," she said, her eyebrows also knitting together in question. "But who bought my favourite man in?" She added in a coo, drawing my attention to a lone Jack Daniels bottle sitting on the work top. JD plus kitchen plus disappearing Jay. My suspicions were growing.

I wandered over to the counter were the bottle was sitting, easily covering the space in a couple of steps. "Huh," I muttered as I held up the half empty bottle. "Well, I suppose we could put this on-"

My words cut out as the cabinet door beside my legs flew open, directly connecting with my shins. A shot of pure agony traveled through me as a loud groan of pain exploding from my throat in reflex. The bottle in my hands slammed back down on the side as my eyes doubled in size, trying to catch the breath caught in my lungs from the shock.

"What the fuck," I seethed finally, glaring down at the door still pushed against my legs, finding an arm attached to it from the inside. My eyes grew wider in curiosity as I lent down, my gaze meeting none other than a very squashed looking Jay sitting in the small cupboard.

"What the hell are you doing?!" I almost screamed at the man who was simply beaming back at me.

"Did I scare you?!" He chimed back at me loudly, a sloppy grin on his face confirming my assumptions. The missing alcohol in the bottle was obviously inside our idiotic friend.

"Like fuck you fucking did!" I roared as I stood back upright, before awkwardly hobbling over to the lone chair in the corner of the room. "What are you doing in a cupboard?!" I questioned hotly, leaning down to rub my legs, trying to get the pain out of them as quickly as possible.

Jay instantly started laughing. "Cause I wanted to scare you, Tuck," he retorted. "Oh, and I'm a little stuck!" He added brightly, his arm that was still free outside of the four small sides waving in the air. I couldn't help but clap my hands to my face in complete and utter disbelief. Was this what leaving home does to people?

"Oh my god, I have to get Moose," Kayla blurted suddenly, my attention falling onto her in the doorway as she watched on, trying not to explode from her amusement as her hand clasped her mouth. "And a camera. And a video camera," she explained before darting from the room. I groaned loudly once more and lent my head against the wall beside me, trying to ignore the pain searing through my lower legs. Drunk or not, I was going to hurt Jay for this.

After a minute to absorb the odd situation, my gaze lingered on the open cupboard door, Jay's flailing arm still hitting back on the wooden panel. I rolled my eyes before awkwardly pulling myself to my feet, using the worktops as a support. I carefully maneuvered around the open door, leaning up against the opposite kitchen side to look down at Jay blankly. When he finally felt my presence, he his wide eyed, slightly terrified gaze rose to meet with mine. I instantly rose an eyebrow as an innocent, toothy grin was sent my way.

"Hey, don't be looking at me like that!" Jay scolded in a slur, his smile dropping suddenly while his eyebrows knitted tightly together. "You just wish you had thought of this first."

I allowed myself a light laugh. "Jay, I can just about fit in a broom cupboard," I pointed out, making Jay's expression blank out in thought. I sighed lightly to myself, leaning my arms on the worktop behind me and pulling myself onto it. My gaze wandered to the Jack Daniels still sitting idly beside me, my hand automatically reaching for it and moving the bottle to my lips. I swallowed hard as the liquid burned my throat, looking sorrowfully down at my friend.

"Are you really stuck?" I asked bluntly, Jay's head turning to me from previously being balanced on his knees.

"Of course I'm bloody stuck!" He threw back at me harshly. "You think this is comfortable?!" He exclaimed, making me tilt my head as I examined him. His body seemed to be completely diagonal across the cupboard, his knees pulled up to his chest while his feet rested on the vertical panel, probably keeping him stable. From the space underneath his back I could see his furthest arm at an extremely odd angle as it was crushed against the back wall. Despite that, I still reckoned if he wanted out, he could do it.

"Sure you don't just want an excuse to stay here?" I inquired softly, the volume in my voice box suddenly turned down. My eyes fell down onto the dark liquid in the bottle that was sitting in my lap as I spoke. Get blind drunk, forget your problems, get stuck in a cupboard. Seemed like a pretty Jason styled plan to me. To be honest, the idea was quite appealing too.

I heard Jay snort, his free arm finally resting down by his side. "Yeah, 'cause I'd do that."

"So it's not? And here was me about to congratulate you, for once," I said with a grin, taking a long drink from the bottle. I was well and truly ready to follow suit and drink myself into the depths of hell tonight. It beat everything else that would be waiting if I was left sober.

"... Really?" I heard Jay's timid tone ask after a minute, sounding almost child-like in nature. I chuckled once I had set the now three quarter empty bottle in my lap again, nodding slowly.

"Yeah. I mean, you've had worse ideas Jason," I said lightly, sliding down from the side and setting myself down beside Jay, leaning my back against the cupboard door. I offered the whiskey bottle to the free hand, which was graciously accepted as Jay maneuvered the bottle into the cupboard with him, just managing to take a short swig before handing it back. The moment the bottle was back in my hand, I imitated the action.

I sighed heavily, my head leaning back on the door and staring up at the off-white ceiling. It was white when we all moved in, but we weren't the cleanliest of families, to say it nicely. We also weren't the most rational, considering the on going game of rock paper scissors that was held every week for the single room. My winning streak was doing me quite well, though.

"You know, Matt," Jay started thoughtfully into our calm, reflective silence, a slight chuckle of amusement in his tone. I turned my head to look back at my friend, who was staring at a distant point in his own world, a nostalgic and content smile on his face. "Me and Paul used to hide in here when we were little. Mam used to go insane about it. Neither her or Dad ever caught on, though, 'cause we threatened to feed Caroline's hamster to the cat if she told."

I laughed softly and bowed my head, one of my arched legs sliding flat against the chipped, tiled floor. "What a charming brother you were," I commented lightly, swirling the bottle and watching the drink rotate inside.

"I stayed in here for a whole day when I was 11," he added distantly, my attention turning to watch him in question. "We were supposed to be moving. It was to some place up North. Don't know how Dad came up with that one."

"So what happened?" I asked before taking another shot of alcohol. I watched as a wide smile inched it's way across Jay's lips, before he turned to me with his eyes looking bright. I paused as I watched him.

"We didn't move," he stated, that smile never fading. "I got a scolding that lasted a lifetime, but I wasn't bothered."

I couldn't help but return Jay's smile as I watched him, his loose tongue giving me more of an insight into my friend then I think I had ever witnessed. He didn't want to leave, and with good reason. This house was his home. It was all he'd ever known. He grew up here and even fought for it. Even at this moment, inside him that 11 year old was screaming to not let it go. God knows what could happen to an empty house while your thousands of miles from it.

At the same time, what we were striving for was so much more than this. The dreams within our reach wildly outweighed the memories that would always keep slipping away. The reality of that seemed to be way too much for any of us to take. It was odd to think about. It was hard to comprehend.

"You'll never have to move," I mumbled softly. "You could grow old in this place."

Jay chuckled softly, his gaze falling away as he face forward again, into his hide-away. "I hope so."

A loud squeal flowed through the open kitchen door, loud bangs clearly coming from Kayla as the owner of the voice, making her sound as though she was pouncing across the sofas as she made her way closer. The slower trace of footsteps a little more distantly was obviously a very uninterested Moose.

"Jason!" Kayla cooed as she swung around the door frame, her bright smile faltering slightly as her eyes fell onto the two of us on the ground. She looked puzzled as she tilted her head, her arms falling loosely to her side, both grasping cameras.

"Why did Kay wake me up?" Moose's low voice droned, appearing in the door beside Kayla and scratching his head of extremely messed up hair. His unimpressed, heavy eyes rested on me for a moment, before looking confused. "Where's Jay?"

I pointed a thumb to my left, into the cupboard, causing Moose to curiously wander into the room and lean down.

"Whoa. That's fucking weird," he said carefully as he stood back up. "Am I still asleep, or is Jay in a cupboard?"

Kayla giggled, apparently over the fact that I was on the floor beside our friend. "Nope! Jason James is hiding in a cupboard," she explained, the video camera suddenly being shoved into my face. I scowled at the flashing red light, before it was directed in Jay's direction. He grinned widely into the lens and gave a thumbs up with his free arm.

"You're so weird, Kay" I mumbled half to myself, starting to bring the JD back to my lips. I almost spat out the liquid in my mouth as I felt the bottle being tugged from my grasp in mid-swig. My eyes shot suddenly to Kay, who was now standing with her hands on her hips, video camera in one hand and JD in the other.

"Nu-uh, guys! No more alcohol tonight," Kayla said sternly, leaving both me and Jay looking at her like she was insane, Jay suddenly deciding it would be appropriate to hang halfway out the cupboard to look up at her. "I want to remember my last night in Bridgend!"

"Jesus, women, it's not like we're never coming back!" Jay shot, his free arm starting to wave manically again. I leaned to the side, shielding myself from it's crazed attacks.

Kayla pouted, resting the bottle back onto the worktop. "Well no, but next time we come back we'll be all famous and stuff," she explained with a shrug, leaving me and Jay to share a bewildered look before bursting simultaneously into laughter.

"Yeah, that's going to happen," I mocked, rolling my eyes before laughing with Jay again.

Kayla huffed. "I can guarantee you. Things won't be the same after we leave this place," she enforced as an accusing finger was pointed in my direction, Kayla suddenly seeming much more serious and causing our laughter to die down. "So let's just have fun tonight, okay?" She added, a hint of a threat in her tone making me and Jay nod obediently.

"Good," she stated, turning on her heels and storming from the room. My gaze moved between the already half wasted man in a cupboard beside me, and up onto the hay-stack haired drummer who appeared to be sleeping on his feet. So Kayla's leaving-home mood swings had apparently kicked in again. Or it could have been because she knew when Padge would eventually get home from his parents place he'd be an emotional wreck for a good couple of days. The only person who this whole event didn't seem to have an effect on was Moose. He was just as out of it as always.

"C'mon, mate," I sighed after a moment, finally pulling myself to my feet. Jay looked up at me in confusion as I addressed him, before I inclined my head sidewards. He scowled at me for a moment before taking the hint.

I would be lying if I said it wasn't amusing watching Jason rocking side to side, trying to shuffle out of the combined space, before falling heavily onto his side and onto the tiled floor. The loud groan falling echoing through the room even seemed to catch Moose's attention, his body jumping as his eyes shot open.

I smiled lightly between my two band mates, Moose rubbing his eyes as Jay struggled to his feet. I chuckled quietly to myself as I wrapped my arm around Jay's shoulder, making him stumble into me, before wandering across to Moose and linking my other arm around his neck. They both looked at me in question, one dopey eyed while the other sent me a goofy smile. He'd sober up soon enough.

"Well then, let's make this a night to remember, boys!"