Open Arms

The storm was still going on as the early morning crept upon us, and I was still holding Ryan. My poor Ryan. He was dead tired. He kept nodding off
but was always jolted awake whenever the thunder boomed. He wasn’t resisting sleep in any way. He wanted to rest. I could tell by the way he whined every time he was awakened. He tossed and turned every which way, but I always kept my arms around his thrashing body. I wish this damn storm would pass already. It was way too late for anyone but me to be awake, and that is only because I’m accustomed to it. Ryan on the other hand was in bed by at least midnight every night.

The thunder was coming in longer intervals now. The storm is starting to pass at last. The rain was pit-pattering slowly against the tin roof. A drop every few seconds or so was slowly beginning to lull me to sleep. The thunder was now completely gone. I looked down at Ryan to find him sleeping peacefully. He looked so damn cute snuggled up in a ball against my chest.

“I love you Ryan. More than you’ll ever know”, I whispered to the sound sleeper.

He clutched my shirt into his hand and, still asleep, mumbled, “I love you too, Spence.”

The next morning, a loud crash and flash of lightning awakened me from my dreamless sleep. Another spring storm had reared it’s ugly head. Ryan had moved from his place on my chest to leaning against the footboard of my bed. He wasn’t crying. In fact, it seemed like he was in some sort of trance. He was staring at me, but it felt like he was more staring right through me. I sat up in bed and placed myself in front of him so I could stare directly into his eyes. He didn’t even flinch. I said his name once…twice…three times before he finally came to. I grabbed his arm and with much reluctance pulled him towards me, and placed his head back into it’s position on my chest and simply held him close.

“You don’t always have to comfort me like this Spencer. I know I can get annoying at times.”

“Not at all Ryan. I know you don’t like storms.”

I kissed the top of his head, and smoothed his chin-length hair away from his eyes.

“If it were up to me”, I mumbled into his hair, “it would never storm again.”

He raised his head to look at me, shocked expression plastered onto his face.

“But you love storms. I’ve seen you stay up all night watching them, cuddled into that old afghan my mom helped me crochet for your birthday one year.”

I smiled and looked him straight in the eyes.

“But you hate them. I remember every time you’ve ever climbed into my bed in the middle of the night, or laid in my lap watching movies when it was daytime. I always told myself that if I only could, I’d keep that sad, scared little glint from your eyes forever. Since I couldn’t stop the storms from coming, I’d always hold you close through every one of them and refuse to let go until you did first. Yes Ryan, I love storms, but I love you so much more.”

A smile crept across his beautiful features. He slowly leaned up and caught my lips with his own in a slow but passionate kiss. He pulled away from me, shy at first, but when he saw me smiling back down at him, the sad, scared little glint in his eyes, caused by every thunderstorm he has ever experienced and his nervousness from the moment we just shared, disappeared completely.