Kindred

003.

“My parents are dead Dr. Beckett. Just because someone here has the same name does not make them my parent.”

He sighed and slouched into his chair, rubbing tiredly at his temples.

“I dinnae mean it like that. I simply mea—“

I arched an eyebrow. I knew exactly what he meant.

“I know what you meant. My parents loved each other and they were together long before they ever stepped foot inside Atlantis. Their counterparts here, I’m sure never knew the other exited till Atlantis. Besides your expedition is under U.S. command, despite the internationalities present, their military isn’t exactly open minded. I will not go on record and ruin the life one of these men has set for himself. You cannot ask me to do that.”

I held his gaze, steady and sure. He was more interested in the genetics and the process in which I was created than to tell my parents’ counterparts I have their same genes. I felt a large hand on my shoulder—Specialist Dex. I relaxed my shoulders just barely and he removed his hand.

“Very well, I’m sorry to have brought it up. You cannae deny that you look li—“

“If no one has said anything so far I’m content to remain quiet. I know you’re all here as explorers, but where I came from, we didn’t go out and make allies; we went out and defeated the enemy. We didn’t have the option to watch out for collateral damage; however your expedition does and takes it to heart. Can you really afford the damage you’ll do if you tell them who I really am?”

He moved to speak again and I stood up, cutting him off.

“What you can share with everyone else on this expedition, if they want answers to questions, ask them to me.”

I turned and left his office. Rushing through the infirmary, ignoring the smiles and nods of greeting and headed towards the hall; once outside I didn’t bother waiting for Dex. I wanted to be alone and I knew the only place I wanted to be, I didn’t have anymore. I hoped this Atlantis had my spot.

I rushed to the nearest transporter and hit the spot for the northwestern pier; Atlantis would tell me if I was in danger and so far I’ve gotten the go ahead. I exited the transporter and took in a deep breath—musky scent of waterlogged space. Perhaps they haven’t been out this far yet, they seemed to be terrified of exploring their own city, yet they could go out and explore a galaxy they knew nothing about.

I took the stairs up the tower I was in, knowing—or rather hoping—there was still a small balcony at the top. I opened the door at the top and smiled at the small alcove that appeared before me. I loved this spot ‘cause despite all the towers with balconies, this one was actually faced towards the center of the city, all others faced outwards. When I was little my parents would take me out to this spot, my Father pressed against the wall, my carrier pressed back to chest against him and then I would be in front. Arms wrapped around me from one while the other toyed with my hair.

“Oh.”

I turned to the noise—how did I not realize someone was already here? I glanced over at them and my eyes widened.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t think anyone would come this far out.”

He stared at me, anger and something else present in his eyes. I turned to move and he held up his hand.

“I want answers and if you’re anything like who I think you are, well, you meant it when you told me I have to go to you. So sit, we’re going to talk, I mean we should obviously, you were sent here specifically with my name in tow. What are you waiting for, move.”

I let myself smile, just barely, but it was enough. I moved over to the edge where his legs dangled over, his arms resting along the rail in front of him. A few powerbar wrappers were spread around him, a few unopened littered the space too. I sat myself down beside him, dangling my own legs over the edge.

“What do you want to know?”

He scoffed and mumbled something to himself before I felt his gaze; heavy and weighted linger on my profile.

“You’re mine, or rather my counterpart’s; what I want to know is who was the woman?”

I couldn’t hold in the laugh that erupted from deep within me. I laughed harder at his panicked monologue of worry and how it really wasn’t funny that I should be laughing; was I laughing ‘cause it would’ve been apparent that he was the woman in the relationship because surely my other parent, no matter what universe they came from would never willingly lay back and spread their legs.

I finally caught my breath and let myself look at him, this version of Dr. Rodney McKay. He was shorter, slightly broader, just as thick, but those eyes, they were the same no matter where I went. Oh, and that familiar slant of his mouth; McKay wouldn’t be McKay without it.

“There was no woman. I was born with the assistance of a piece of Ancient technology, one which your city does not hold. I’ve looked.”

His mouth gaped a little and I chuckled again. I reached a hand out and gently touched his arm, offering a small smile.

“Dr. McKay, my Father chose you out of the many others to pick as my new guardian. I see a lot of him in you.”

He looked as if he were lost for words. I reached to the chain around my neck and tugged it from beneath my shirt, then pulling it over my head. I handed him the chain holding six single tags and a small flash drive. He mouthed the names; I held them in certain order. The one on the bottom would tell him he was correct. His eyes widened slightly and a soft gasp escaped as he brushed a fingertip over the name on the last tag. His eyes met mine and I nodded.

“My carrier; the one who grew me inside and gave me life—that was the title the Athosians gave. They said I was a gift to be cherished from the Ancients.”

“Who were the others to you?”

He offered my chain back; I took it, clutching the bundle in a fist. I sighed before opening my hand and lifting off the first, my own, and singling out the second.

“Radek Zelenka; he was my mentor, my second father in a sense. I couldn’t be under my Father’s command, conflict of interests, so I was under Radek’s. He taught me everything he knew. It killed him to be the one to push me through that mirror, but he knew despite how long they’ve lasted, my Father would never be able to bare that guilt.”

I fiddled with the third before going to the fourth.

“Ronon Dex; he was nothing like your Dex. He wasn’t even military. His father was second in command in their government, he was a scholar. I have a book of his poetry in my room. He was one of my two best friends. He was there the day I watched our John Sheppard be murdered. I also know that he’d died of shame if I never told him I forgave him the day I came here.

“I left Atlantis at age ten; it was deemed unsafe after Sheppard’s death. I told Ronon I hated him that day, for just leaving his body behind like that. Scooping me up in his long arms, holding me tightly against his chest as he ran with all he had towards our city entrance. I didn’t care that it was an order to get me to safety, he was leaving someone behind.”

I could feel the corners of my eyes stinging with building tears. If anyone in this city had a right to know all of this, it would be the man sitting next to me. I went to the first tag.

“This one, in essence, is yours. I never told him the day that John Sheppard died, well the morning after I was hidden away in his office in the control tower…that was the first time I had ever seen my Ronon look like the one you have here. Three people stood in the gate room in front of the closing wormhole, all covered in blood and mud; I had never been terrified of my Father till that moment. No one hurt anyone my Father cared about, not like that; I found out at sixteen they had committed a small form of genocide to that race of people.”

I singled out the third and pointed to me. I went for the fifth tag and bit my lip.

“You loved him.”

I glanced over at him, nodding at his statement. I did love the man whose name I held in my hand—I loved all of them—but he was different.