Confessions to My Past

“Can we help you with anything back here?” Sam asked.
Josie was bustling about the kitchen with surprising agility considering her being 8 months gone.
“Nope, thank you. I’ve got it.” She beamed. “Fifteen minutes, I think, then I’m done here.”
“And we’re having what again?” Dean appeared next to Sam.
“Meat fondue.”
Josie had to chuckle at the brothers’ equally clueless expressions. “You’ll see.”
Josie made the Christmas dinner with a somewhat melancholic joy; it was the first Christmas with her parents dead. Now with the war over, she longed to be with them more than ever. She wanted them to know how happy she was, and she wanted them to meet Dean… More than anything, though, Josie wanted their approval of the life she’d chosen. Pregnant at 19, Mother at 20, no finished education yet (she was working on her degree), a boyfriend with a dubious, high-risk ‘job’ (not to mention the field of work…) - all that was not exactly what their parents had had in mind for her. Hell, it wasn’t what she had had in mind for herself.
But she was happy.
Josie had to suppress a tear when she set the different dips and sauces onto the festively decorated dinner table; all these were her mother’s recipes.
“Sweetheart, you okay?”
Josie’s head snapped up and saw Dean in the doorway, who looked at her with concern in his eyes. Josie could hear Sam, Bobby and Amy laugh in the adjoining living room.
She smiled, but her eyes were still sad. “I… I just wish they could be here, you know.” She didn’t have to say who she was referring to, she knew he’d understand her worldlessly.
Dean embraced her comfortingly, kissed the top of her head and said quietly: “So do I, love.”
Josie inhaled his scent deeply, and felt better immediately. “I wish you could meet them, Dean. Just like I wish I could meet your parents…” Though Josie almost felt as if she did; she’d heard a lot about John and Mary Winchester.
Dean stroked a strand of her behind her ear. “They would have loved you.”
“You think?”
Dean smiled at her, kissed the tip of her nose and replied: “I know.”
“Do you also sometimes wonder how it would be if our families were still alive?”
“Yes. But then I remember that my family is alive.”
Josie smiled and kissed him. “Did I mention how unbelievably happy I am that you’re here?”
“And did I mention how absolutely wonderful you are?”
“I don’t think so, no.” Josie grinned.
“I hate breaking up your little love fest, and I don’t want to be a pain in the butt, but, Josie, baby, I’m starving.” Amy suddenly chimed in.
“Who’s the tyrant now?” Josie raised her eyebrows, but laughed anyways and finished dinner.
While she was doing that, Dean answered his phone. “Yeah.”
“Dean, it’s Elton.”
Dean ran a hand over his face, discreetly walked into the hallway, out of earshot from Josie and the others before he replied: “Hey, Elton. What’s up?”
“I gotta case for you.”
Dean closed his eyes and rubbed his temple. “Elton, listen, you need to find someone else… Sam and I can’t.”
“You two are the best for this job, Dean, and we’re running out of time.”
Dean was about to take the job when his eyes caught his pregnant girlfriend who just called Sam, Amy and Bobby in for dinner. Christmas dinner. This was the first real Christmas Sam and he had; and he had promised Josie he’d be there. He’d already disappointed her enough, just like he had sacrificed enough already. “You need to find someone else, Elton.”
“Dean. Whatever problem you and Sam are currently having, it can wait.”
“No, Elton, this can not wait. Take the case yourself or give it to someone else, we’re not doing it.” Dean hung up.
Josie had caught his last words, and she saw on Dean’s face how hard it must have been for him declining this job; it would mean people might get hurt. Josie just walked over to him, wrapped her arms around his waist, kissed his cheek and said quietly: “Thank you, Dean.”
She couldn’t have seen him walk out tonight. The fact that Dean had finally put himself before others for once showed her that he was exactly the man she thought him to be; one who kept his promises and one who would be a great father, one who would be with the people he loved when they needed him.
Dean smiled. “It’s Christmas, honey.”