If I Had You

Sonny and I have history. We used to be a ‘thing’ back in eighth grade. No one knew but a few people at school and our friends. When her parents found out they were disgusted and, well, they moved away. I hadn’t seen her since we were fourteen.

When she was eighteen she moved back down here and is now residing with a friend from middle school. I had no idea until she popped up on my door one day.

We still don’t talk that frequently but only because we communicate better in person than over the phone or online. Her coming here and picking me up is the first time I’ve seen her in a month.

I wait patiently in the hot Florida heat and look down at my shoes as I scuff the concrete below my feet. Sonny’s dingy orange Converse appear in my line of vision. I immediately smile and look up. Her eyes are full of concern but she has a full-blown smile on her face.

“Sonny!” I squeal. I jump on her, wrapping my arms around her neck and my legs around her waist.

She laughs lightly. “Hey, Acacia. I haven’t seen you in a while,” she says softly, her grip on my waist tightening.

“I know, it’s been too long!” I plant a sloppy kiss on her cheek and jump off of her.

She laughs loudly this time and wipes at her cheek. “So what do you wanna do?”

“No clue,” I say. “I just wanted to get away from Elaina but she was my ride here so…” I shrug.

“How about we go to the lake and you can tell me why you wanted to get away from Elaina?”

I smile softly at her. “That sounds good.”

-

“So,” Sonny says.

I sigh heavily and say. “I’m going to Canada the day after tomorrow.”

Sonny’s quiet for a moment. “To see Braelyn,” she states.

“Yeah…” Sonny knows all about Braelyn. Including all the times she’s hurt me.

“Do you think it’s a good idea?” Sonny questions.

“Of course I do. I promised her I would see her. You know I never break promises Sonny.”

Sonny’s body goes tense. “Right,” she says quickly.

“Are you okay? You just got all tense…” I whisper.

She relaxes and nods her head. “I’m fine,” she says. “Anyway, what happened about Elaina? Did she get all pissy?”

I scoff. “Of course! I should’ve known, really. She’s always been so…—”

“Snooty?”

I laugh. “Yeah I suppose.” Sonny rolls her eyes and grumbles about Elaina and her ways. They never got along too much but were civil to each other because I kindly asked them to (or in other words, I would’ve beaten the shit out of them if they didn’t act less then civil towards each other).

“Hey do you wanna check out this cafe? They have great coffee and they even have some computers there too,” Sonny says.

“Sure. I could really use and ice cold coffee and some air conditioning right now.” We laugh and head to her car.

-

“I’m paying Caci and that’s final.”

“No! It’s my coffee and internet access! I’ll pay for it.”

“Just let me do something nice for once, okay?!” Sonny bumps me away with her hip and pays for my coffee and a half hour use of the internet.

“Ugh, Sonny!”

“Hey it’s not my fault you’re tiny and light.”

I glare at her and flick her head.

“Ow! God, Caci. You really haven’t changed.” She laughs lightly and her lips tug into a small smile.

“Mm, I guess not.” I smile at her and shrug. “Oh!” Sonny almost spills our coffee at the sound of my sudden shout. “My sister can’t make it to my graduation tomorrow so I have an extra ticket. Do you wanna come?”
“Sure.” She smiles at me. Her smile is so wide and bright. Stunning. It makes my breathe catch.

“C-Cool.” I clear my throat. “Uhm, just come to my sister’s house around one in the afternoon, okay?”

“Got it,” she says.

We go over the computers and mess around a bit on dumb websites and play some games. When our time was up we left the cafe and headed to my house where we spent a few hours watching movies and TV. Eventually Sonny had to go.

“Bye Sonny!” I shout hugging her tightly.

She laughs lightly and says, “Bye Acacia. I’ll come by tomorrow, all right?”

“You better.” I press my lips to her cheek and watch as she drives away.

-

Acacia says:
Hi Cole!

Cole is a weird guy. He’s pretty cool though and he’s there for Braelyn when I can’t be.

Braelyn says:
Hey Caci! :D
How are you?

Acacia says:
I’m pretty good. (:
How are you?

Braelyn says:
Well..
Honestly, I’m a little confused. Girl problems are the worst.

He has no idea.

Acacia says:
You wanna talk about it with me?

Braelyn says:
Actually yeah.
So, I like two girls and I don’t know which one I like more and which one to actually pursue a relationship with.

Acacia says:
Are they your friends?

Braelyn:
Yes.
Well, Braelyn is, obviously, but the other one is like kind of my friend but not really. I guess we’re more aquaintances than anything else.

I froze. What did he just say…?

Acacia says:
You like Braelyn?

Braelyn says:
Yeah…

Acacia says:
Oh. That’s cute, I guess.

Lies.

Braelyn says:
Hahaha I suppose but I don’t think … I mean do you think it would be weird if I asked her out?
And what about the other girl I like?

Acacia says:
Well, I suppose time will tell.
I have to go for now though.
Bye bye Cole. (:

Acacia is offline.

Worst conversation ever.

-

I’m slightly frantic when I wake up the next morning. I sigh in releif that I took a shower last night because I would be running very late if I had to take on this morning. I sit at my desk and meticulously paint my nails a pale pink color with bright yellow moons. It takes about an hour to do and so far I’m doing well on time.

I comb out my long dark red hair and turn on my curling iron. When it’s heated I take the 1” barell to sections of my hair. When my hair is finally curled and looking great I spray it with hairspray to lock it in.

Done with my hair I move on to my make up. I still have a little over and hour until Sonny gets here. In thirty minutes and create a flawless looking complexion and an elegant smokey eye. I swipe a coral colored lipstick across my lips and blot it until it’s only a faint pink. I add a little bit of clear lip gloss to add shine.

Still in my bra and panties with about a half an hour left, I quickly gulp down a weight loss shake— they fill you up like you actually ate a meal— and run back up stairs to brush my teeth.

When I am forced to retouch my make up I realize that I should’ve eaten and brushed my teeth before doing my make up.

I jump when the doorbell chimes. I look out the window and see Sonny’s car. She’s early!

I run down stairs and open the door. I quickly pull her inside and slam the door behind her.

“You’re early!” I shreik, placing my hands on my hips.

Sonny gulps. “Uhm, Caci… You— you’re not dressed.”

I raise an eyebrow and glance down. I’m still in my bra and panties.

“FUCK!” I yell and run upstairs.

I rip open my closest door and take out my graduation dress my sister bought me. I slip it on and shout: “You can come up now!”

I’m staring at my reflection when I see Sonny come up behind me. She’s wearing a strapless cocktail length black dress and a pair of black slip on Vans.

She smiles when she sees me and says, “Wow, Caci. You— you look gorgeous.”

I turn around and throw my arms around her. “Thank you!” I pull away and take a closer look at her. Her dress is accented by a band around her waist and tulle covering the entire dress and sticking out about an inch longer. I blush, realizing I had been staring for a few minutes. “You look stunning, Sonny.”

She gives me a small smile and says. “Ready to go?”

I huff. “Of course.” I slip on my yellow heels, grab the tickets, and tuck some cash into my bra.

When we’re in Sonny’s car and on our way to the school Sonny says, “I brought my camera too. I can record you walking across the stage if you want.”

“Oh, yes please. It would be a lot better than to spend a chunk of cash on a video of the whole school graduating.”

Sonny laughs. After a few minutes she says, “I’m going to take plenty of pictures of you as well. Don’t think for a second that you can get away from my camera.”

I whine. “Fine!”

-

The graduation went wonderfully. I got my diploma and that’s all that really mattered. When everything was over I found Sonny by her car. She smiled at me and took a picture of my as I was shouting “Hey!” at her.

“Oh my, God, Sonny! I can’t believe you just took that!”

She laughs. “Well believe it.”

“Loserface.”

“Oh, c’mon. You know you love me.”

“I don’t think so.”

Sonny gasps dramatically. “You don’t love me?!”

I laugh loudly and hug her tightly. “Oh you know I love you Sonny!” I never realized how good that sounded… “How about we go back to my place.”

“Yeah that sounds good. I don’t have anything better to do.”

“Oh geez, thanks Sonny.”

-

“Caci I want you to model for me,” Sonny says when she pulls into my driveway.

“Model? Like you want to take pictures of me?”

“Yeah.”

“Like this?”

“Yes.”

“Well… Okay, I guess.” Sonny laughs and we head inside.

She kicks me out of my room for a little while and when I come in I see that she has put up and light gray sheet (as a background) and hooked up some bright lights she must’ve brought up when we got here without me seeing.

“Wow,” I say astounded.

“So just get in front of the background and just… cross your arms and legs like you do when you’re bored with a conversation.”

I laugh and move into that postiton. I lightly smile as she takes the photo and move into another positon. “You know me too well Sonny,” I say.

She shrugs but doesn’t say anything back.

After a while she murmurs, “I’m gonna shut off the lights, okay? The night vision on this camera is amazing.”

I nod and say, “All right.” The lights go out and I move myself into another position.

I faintly hear Sonny murmur, “Take the strap of your dress and push it down with your shoulder poking out. I do as I’m told and give a smirk when the camera flashes.

I swallow and take the other strap down. I murmur for her to take the photo. I unzip the dress and let it fall. I step out of it— my heels getting caught for a second— before muttering for her to take another picture.

I hear faint gasp. “Caci…”

“Just be quiet Sonny,” I whisper softly. I unsnap my bra and slide out of my thong. “Take another,” I say.

The camera flashed again and I hear Sonny gasp more loudly. I ask if she’s going to take another photo but I don’t get a reply. Instead I get someone pressing their lips to mine. I gasp at the feeling of Sonny’s hand running over my body. She slides her tongue in at the chance and we just go further.

Our bodies caress each others, touching in ways we know the other likes. We haven’t done anything like this before. Not even when we were together. We’re friends. Just friends.

But if we’re just friends why are we doing this?