Captain Diapers

“Okay, I want to know what is going on.” Andree was pacing around the living room while Jonathan and I were sitting on the couch in our pajamas. I never met his parents but Mallory said that Bryan and Andree Toews are really nice people. However, by the looks of it, Mama Toews isn’t too thrilled. “This morning, I was listening to the radio and they were saying some rumor from the internet about you eloping three weeks ago with some girl. I know it’s not true.” She went on her knees and pleads to him. “You wouldn’t do this to me, Jonathan. I had to fly down to make sure this isn’t true. Please tell me these people are lying. You’re young and successful and I’m okay with you having a serious girlfriend but you wouldn’t run off to get married with me. Please tell me they are lying.” Jonathan’s face says it all. I never knew this rumor had reached his hometown to a point his mother would fly down to find out. “Oh.”

“Mom, you wouldn’t--”

“I get it.” She paused for a moment as she got off the floor. Then out of nowhere, the fury came out. “Comment tu as pu me faire ca ? (How could you do this to me?)” She yelled in French. “Je suis ta mère. Tu n'aurais pas du me mettre à l'écart pour ton marriage ! Calice, tu ne m'avais même pas dit que tu avais une petite amie. Comment est-ce que je vais dire ça à ton père ? Seigneur, ton père ne va pas aimer ça. Et si ce n'était qu'une coureuse de dote qui essaie de te pièger ?" (I’m your mother. You’re not supposed to leave me out of your wedding! Why didn’t you tell me you even had a girlfriend? How am I going to tell your father? Oh dear, your father wouldn’t like this. What if she’s some gold digger who’s trying to trap you?)

“I’m not a gold digger!” I raised my voice.

“Don’t you dare talk to me! How did you know what I was saying?”

“I’ve been taking French since I was 14.” I looked at her hopelessly but she was still upset.

“I didn’t know you took French.” Jonathan raised his eyebrow as I gave him a fake smile.

“Why did you think I chose Paris?”

“Jonathan, don’t you understand? ” Andree sat between us, continue to plead to him. “This is bad press, especially considering who you are. You don’t get married on a limb. I don’t even know her family.”

“Actually, you already met her family.” At that moment, Andree calmed down. “You met them a while back when I was in Grand Forks.”

“Grand Forks? But the only one I met was…” she looked at me as she knows me. “… Mallory’s parents. But you’re not Mallory.”

“Mom, this is Mallory’s older sister Candace. And yes, we are married.” Jonathan took his chain out that contains his wedding ring and places the ring back on his finger. “We wanted to wait until we were ready.”

“Who else knows about it?”

“Just Mallory and my other sister, Skylar.”

“You know you look like your mother, Candace. I’m sorry about her death.” I nod as this was the first time someone said I look like my mom. Everyone said that Mallory looks like her but it’s nice that someone said I look like her. “But why would you rush to get married. You’re both young… unless for some reason there’s… oh.” Andree’s reaction was priceless as she figured it out.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

“Oh.” Jonathan laughed as we lay in bed together. “I never saw my mom so speechless.”

“She probably hates me now.” I took a deep breath as I place my head on his chest. “There goes my plan of waiting until Thanksgiving. If your mother reacts this way, just imagine my father. I bet Mommy’s rolling her grave right now.”

“We’re going to be fine.” He kissed my forehead as I knew that sooner or later everyone will know who I am. “Something is still up?”

“It was something your mother asked. She asked us if we love each other.”

“We do.”

“Of course as friends. But she wanted to hear if we are in love with each other. I always dreamed about marrying the man I truly love.”

“Then what was that about in Mackinac with Brayden?”

“I loved him but I don’t think the entire relationship I was in love with him. I was in love with the idea of the big wedding with the charming preppy. But I knew if I went forward, he would want me to give up my dreams of being a lawyer and always cater to him.”

“You know I will be supportive of everything you do. And I wasn’t lying when I said I wanted you from the very moment I laid eyes on you.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. I’m not going to lie, I loved you sister. But deep down, I wanted to fall in love with you.”

“You’re just saying that to make me feel better.” I pouted but suddenly Jonathan leaned down and kisses my swollen lips.

“I’m not. Let’s see where it takes us. If things work out or not, we’ll decide on that later. Right now, I want to enjoy this.” He snuggled at me as his hand went down to my tummy and rubbed it.

The next morning as I was about to head to work, I see Andree preparing breakfast for us. The woman who screamed at me last night, is now calm and smiling.

“I have to make sure my daughter in law and future grandson or granddaughter is ready for the day.” She smiled as she placed a couple of pancakes and a cup of fruit on the table.

“My father already heard about the rumor but gladly my sister laughed it off.” I took a bite off the pancake. “This is good.”

“Thank you. It’s a family recipe. You’re going to be fine. Stress is not good for the baby.” She walked away with a smile as I know she is right. It isn’t good but I don’t think Daddy needs to hear this right now. At that moment, my phone rang and I picked it up.

“So when are you planning to tell me this, Candy?” I heard my father said. “Thanksgiving?” I guess hearing about it came sooner than I thought.