The Way She Wears My Clothes

I walked onto my bus to find Sierra wrapped in Alex’s arms as they watched whatever film was playing. I continued on, trying to be as unsuspicious as possible, despite the fact that tears had started falling as soon as I walked away from Tay. I failed. Alex was pulling me into a hug from behind as I tried to walk into the bunk area.

“Alex,” I said tiredly. “Not now.”

“You’re crying, Jack. This cannot wait.”

He turned me so we were facing each other. He tucked me into his arms and stroked my hair.

“Tell me what happened,” he said gently.

“I can’t. It’s too humiliating.”

“We’ve been through some pretty humiliating shit before, bro. I’m sure this is nothing.”

“I was stupid, Lex. Why would she want me? No one ever wants me. I’m just a stupid guy who can kind of play guitar and she’s this brilliant, adorable singer and songwriter. What am I compared to her, Alex? Why would she want me?”

“Alex,” Sierra said softly. I felt him turn slightly, running his hand down the nape of my neck, then back up through my hair.

“Yeah?”

“I think I should go. Jack needs you right now. Just, call me when everything’s okay again,” she said. He leaned back and I heard them kiss. I shuddered and buried myself into Alex’s chest.

“She makes you happy,” I mumbled into his shirt.

“Yeah, but that’s not what we were talking about, Jack. Don’t try to change the subject. You were saying how you don’t think you’re good enough for her. Is this girl Tay by any chance?”

I nodded.

“What makes you think you’re not good enough? Did she say you weren’t?”

I shook my head.

“Alright, hold on. We’re going to your bunk.”

He let me go, grabbed onto my hand and then led to my bunk. I climbed in and then he followed. We settled in, laying on our sides and facing each other. He brushed the hair out of my face and smiled just a small bit.

“What happened?”

“Well, last night, after I put you to bed, I got into my bunk with Tay and we were kissing, and then she pushes me away to make sure that nothing’s gonna change if I have a bad day or something. And then when I woke up, she wasn’t there. So I went to look for her, was a great catalyst for your relationship with Sierra and then, then shit went bad, man.”

He listened, just like I knew he would. He was good at listening, especially when I needed it most. I could count on Alex. There weren’t a lot of people in the world that had that honor. When I needed him, he was there. It went the other way too, or at least, I hope it did. I tried to be the best friend in the world, just like he was for me. I gave everything for our friendship. I know most people think we’re dating, and that “Jalex” is real, and in some aspects, it is. In reality, what they’re seeing is our commitment to making each other happy. So I suppose, yeah, that’s Jalex. We’re not going around giving each other blowjobs in dirty bathrooms because our hunger for each other is too much to wait for a bed. It’s not like that. We joke about being in love, about being fuck buddies. I couldn’t imagine that though. This right here, with him listening as I talk, or vice versa, this is perfect.

“Jack?”

“Yeah?”

“You kinda zoned.”

“I was thinking, actually,” I explained.

“Oh, yeah? About Tay?”

“No, about you.”

“Dude, I don’t swing that way.”

“Goddamn it,” I laughed. “I love you, Alex. Have my babies!”

We started giggling, falling into each other.

“SHUT UP, YOU TWO! SOME OF US ARE STILL TRYING TO SLEEP, YOU INCONSIDERATE FUCKS!” Zack yelled from the bunch below us. I swung out of my bunk and barreled into Zack’s, kissing his cheeks and forehead. He screamed and pushed me away. I attacked him with tickles next, running wiggling fingers up and down his sides and over his stomach. His screams turned into screeching laughs and begs for me to stop.

“JACK!” he finally kicked me off and into the hallway. He pounced and straddled my waist, beginning his return assault. He alternated between tickling me underneath the arms and poking me in the sides. By the time he had moved off of me, I was panting heavily, cheeks red and my sides aching.

“That’ll teach you to wake me up with your weirdly homoerotic relationship,” he said, and then slunk back into his bunk. I grabbed Alex’s hand from inside my bunk and pulled him out.

“I want to go to dinner with you,” I said.

“Jack, I explained this. I don’t swing that way.” I began to pout. “But, if it makes you happy, I will more than happily take you to dinner. Just let me call Sierra and let her know I’ll have to meet her later.”

“No, no. Bring the Sierra. I wish to ask her about her intentions with my boyfriend.”