Let Go

Matt parked his car next to Jimmy's, at Rafter's, and got out. He sighed and walked up the ouside stairs up to Rafter's and walked past the hotess towards his table. Brian and Melanie were sharing some kind of dessert, while Brooke's laughed filled his ears as Jimmy did something ridiculous. Nick was laughing at Jimmy also. Cole was nowhere to be found and Zack and Johnny were signing a receipts. "Hey bro." Matt said, sitting in Cole's empty seat. Nicholas reached for Matt and Matt grabbed him squeezing him in a hug. Zack smiled up at Matt.

"Hey, where's-"

"I told you I wasn't bringing her." Matt looked at Nicholas. "No, I wasn't gonna bring that mean ole Wilith 'round my wittle Killer again, was I? No I wasn't. I won't ever let that crazy lady around you again, kay, Killer?" Nicholas just laughed, causing Matt to chuckle.

"Nice voice." Matt looked over to see Brooke, smiling at him. He shrugged.

"It's Killer, ya gotta do what ya gotta do." Brooke shook her head. Brian handed her something, that she handed to Zack, that he handed to Matt.

"Your check." He said, simply.

"Where's Cole?" Matt asked, taking out his credit card and placing it in the leather folder. He waved it in the air and Summer came and retreived it.

"Bathroom." Matt nodded and entertained his nephew on his lap.

"Matt," Matt looked over his shoulder to see Cole walking his way.

"Hey Collie." Cole shook her head.

"Why are you here?" Nicholas reached for her and she took him, not breaking eye contact with Matt.

"I told you I was coming back without her." Cole shook her head, a smile forming. "Did you bring his stroller?" Cole looked at Zack, who shook his head.

"Sorry." Cole sighed and Matt took him from her.

"I'll carry him. Killer ain't nothin' to me, huh buddy?" Matt asked, holding him up high in the air. Brooke watched as Matt interacted with Nicholas.

"Cute, isn't it?" Jimmy asked, standing. Brooke nodded.

"He'd be a fantastic dad." She said, her hand absent mindedly going to her stomach. Jimmy noticed this and then his eyes widened. Brooke looked at him and then he made a weird face, playing it off. Brooke shook her head. They finished their buisness up at the restaraunt and left, Nicholas in Matt's arms, Brooke beside him as they talked, Zack and Cole holding hands, Brian and Melanie being all lovey dovey, and Jimmy and Johnny making everyone laugh.

"So, did you have fun tonight?" Matt asked, as Nicholas talked nonsense to Brian, who he could see over Matt's shoulder. Brooke nodded.

"I did, actually, it was great to have everyone together. Well, everyone plus a few." She said, her gaze shifting to Nicholas. Matt smiled.

"I just want to apologize again for kind of ruining everything."

"It's cool Mattie. You didn't -"

"Brooke, seriously? I almost punched the shit out of Jimmy." Brooke looked up to see Jimmy dancing down the sidewalk, singing a song she didn't think anyone else had heard. She shook her head.

"Yeah, but you didn't. Get over it, Matt. No one knows or cares." Matt sighed. He always swore Brooke was 10 years older in her mind.

"Okay, Brookie."

"Okay Mattie." Matt chuckled and Nicholas squealed and pointed up at the ferris wheel.

"I don't think you can go up there, buddy. It's way high." Matt said, holding Nicholas up in the air so he could see the ferris wheel. Brooke's stomach did flips. Why did he have to be so damn good with kids? Nicholas gurgled and looked down at Matt, speaking baby talk to him. "Well, Killer, we have a predicament, you just ain't big enough yet." Nicholas continued to point at the ferris wheel. "Momma, Daddy, Nicholas wants to go on the ferris wheel." Cole and Zack looked up at Matt and Nicholas. Zack smiled and Cole shook her head. Zack grabbed Nicholas from Matt's arms. "Hey, what are you doing? Zachary! Give me my nephew back."

"Slow your roll, bro. He was reaching for me."

"He probably wanted to smack you." Brooke laughed.

"Hey, Brooke, don't switch to the dark side, kay?" Zack said, giving Brooke a look, before talking to Nicholas.

"Oh, Zachary, you know I could never leave you alone." Matt rolled his eyes.

"Whatever, I'm ten times better than him." Matt muttered. Zack heard him anyone.

"Yeah, okay, and who has the the girlfriend that everyone loves?"

"Techinacally, she's your wife." Brian put in.

"Techincally, no one likes you, so turn back around." Zack shot back, as Cole took Nicholas.

"Look, the only reason everyone loved Cole in the first place, was because she's my little sister. She was immediatley allowed in. She doesn't count."

"She does too!"

"I like how we're not even really here." Cole said, leaving Zack's side to stand next to Brooke. Melanie drifted back to them, also, as they let the boys step ahead of them and mess around. Brooke laughed as Matt started shouting.

"I've missed this so much." Brooke said, smiling. Cole smiled.

"And we've missed your calmness." At this point, Jimmy had picked up Johnny, who was screaming to be put down.

"You missed this?" Melanie asked, eyebrow raised. Brooke laughed.

"Yeah, this was normalcy for me for about twelve years. Ever since Matt and Zack helped me when I was six and they were eight. I'd fallen off a swing and started crying and Zack heard me and ran over. Matt followed him." Melanie cocked her head.

"That's cute." Brooke nodded.

"Tell her the rest." Cole said, shoving Brooke's shoulder slightly. "It's the best story." Brooke nodded.

"Well, anyway, Zack asked if I could stand and he helped me up and then he asked where my parents were and I told him they were at home. He asked how old I was and then why was I all by myself. I shrugged, because I didn't know. Well, then he was like, 'C'mon, we'll take you to Matt's house, since he's closest, and we'll get a band-aid on that. I'm Zack by the way and that's Matt.' I nodded, and like bawling my little eyes out. Well, I go to take a step, stumble, and Matt catches me, right. So, he just picks me up and carried me bridal style the three blocks to his house, where Zack runs in and yells, 'Mrs. Sanders, a little girl scraped her knee at the park and she needs a band-aid. She's pretty. Help her.' So, Matt sets me down in the kitchen chair, where Cole has stopped coloring and is looking at Zack likes he's crazy. Matt's mom walks on and patches me up, all the while talking to me. So, before she lets me go, she gives me some Kool-Aid and Zack starts talking my ear off and finally Cole goes, 'Zacky! Do you even know her name?' and then Zack realizes he never asked, so we all introduce ourselves and we go back to the park, Cole included and me and her hit it off. We've been best friends ever since."

"Awww! That's too precious. You and Matt seem like you guys were meant to be." Cole snorted.

"What?" Melanie asked.

"Like they were? They ARE meant to be. Still. To this day."

"Shut up, Cole." Brooke muttered, shooting Cole a look. Cole shrugged.

"I'm sticking to that story." Brooke shook her head. She has some stubborn ass best friends, that was for sure.

"So, you've known the guys since you were six?" Melanie asked.

"Matt, Zack, and Cole. I met Jimmy when I was seven. We all met Brian around the age of 11. The guys were 13. And Cole and me met Johnny in high school. I grew up with this. My first year in New York was so boring. It was cold for someone who grew up in California. I had almost no friends. I probably e-mailed Cole 8 times a day. I eventually met people though and they were cool and nice and funny, et ceterea, but nothing like those five guys up there." They all looked to the five grown men a few feet in front of them. Johnny was trying to fight Jimmy and Brian off, while Matt and Zack were arguing about something else now.

"Winners. We picked winners." Melanie said, making Cole laughed.

"Yeah, something like that." Brooke laughed. The guys eventutally reached the line in front of the ferris wheel.

"You up for it?" Brian asked, turning to the girls and pointing to the ferris wheel. Melanie nodded and ran to his side. Cole and Brooke reached Matt and Zack.

"We have Nick." Cole said.

"We'll take him." Jimmy offered and Johnny nodded. Zack raised an eyebrow.

"I don't think-"

"The merry-go-round!" Matt shouted. "Me and Brookie'll take Killer on the merry-go-round and then we'll switch when we get off." Matt said, snatching Nick from Cole, grabbing Brooke's hand and running away. Brooke laughed and shook her head as she was dragged behind Matt. Matt stopped on the back of the line, which wasn't very long at all. When Nicholas saw where they were at, he laughed and clapped.

"Matt, really?" Brooke asked, looking at all the children around them. Nick was he only one who wasn't terrified of Matt.

"What?"

"You just stole him from Cole and dragged me over here."

"Well, duh, c'mon, when was the last time you rode the merry-go-round?"

"When I was 17, at the fair, with you."

"Exactly." Matt said, as he paid the carney two dollars and climbed atop a horse. Brooke climbing on next to him.

"Matt, this is-"

"Oh, shut up Brookie. I see that smile on your face. You're thinking about the last time you rode a merry-go-round." Brooke rolled her eyes. She may have been thinking about the past, but she didn't want to Matt to know. The last time they rode a merry-go-round together, Matt was drunk and was running around singing 'Welcome to the Jungle' at the top of his lungs, while Brooke sat on a horse and pretended she didn't know him, but laughed all the same. The ride started to move and Matt was talking to Nicholas, everytime he said something in baby talk. Brooke smiled and shook her head. Matt really was wonderful with Nicholas and she wondered how he would be if he had his own child. "Brookie, what are you staring at? Killer's getting self-concious." Brooke snapped out of her trance.

"Sorry, I just- you're really great with him." Matt smiled.

"You think so?" Brooke nodded.

"Yeah, he adores you Matt. I'm not gonna be at all surprised if he starts acting like you around the age of five or six." Matt laughed.

"I'd get my ass kicked."

"Probably." The ride ended shortly after and they got off, Nicholas and Matt still 'talking'. They met everyone else as they got off. They were waiting for them.

"It's almost bed time." Cole said, reaching for Nicholas.

"No, no." Matt said, slapping her hands. "Not before kisses." Matt handed Nicholas to Brooke who kissed him.

"Love you, Nick."

"Love Bwook!" Nick was passed from Brooke, to Melanie, to Brian, to Jimmy, to Johnny, and back to Matt.

"Night Killer. Love you kiddo."

"Love Mah Mah!" Matt chuckled and handed his nephew to Cole and then hugging her.

"Love you Cole."

"Love you too, Mah Mah." Matt laughed and hugged Zack. Zack reached out to hug Brooke.

"I'm assuming Matt'll bring you back?" He asked, with an eyebrow raised. Matt laughed.

"Actually, you guys, I was wondering if I could stay with you tonight?"

"Why?" Cole asked, concern wrinkling her brow.

"Well, I kicked Lilith out. I gaver her all night to pack her sh-stuff, and when I get there tomorrow morning. I'm calling the movers and she's out. I can't handle it anymore." Cole smiled.

"Of course you can stay over. Here." She handed Zack Nicholas and dug through he purse and grabbed her keys. "Take these and just don't come in too late. Okay? Try not to wake Nicholas either."

"I know Cole. I'll see you in the morning."

"Alright, bye." Brian and Melanie waved.

"We're actually leaving too."

"Oh, going back to your own little world?" Matt asked, smiling and giving Melanie a hug.

"Shut it." Brian said, hugging Brooke. "It was good seeing you girl. We'll do this again sometime now that your back."

"Maybe an old jam session?" She asked, as Brian pulled away.

"Sounds good to me." Melanie hugged Brooke.

"It was great to meet the 'long lost sister' Zack always talked about and the 'long lost best friend' Matt and Cole couldn't shut up about, and the numerous other things they call you." Brooke laughed.

"It was great meeting you, too. You and Bri are great together."

"Thanks. Me, you, and Cole'll have a girl's day sometime soon." Brooke nodded and the remaining four waved the couples off. Jimmy and Johnny ran off somewhere else, telling Matt and Brooke to meet them at the ice cream shop in an hour.

"You wanna ride the ferris wheel?" Matt asked, as they walked in that general direction. Brooke looked up.

"You know I don't like heights."

"Yeah, but, I'll be right next to you, so you'll have nothing to be afraid of." Brooke sighed and gave in.

"Fine, but if I fall out and die, I hope you'll feel totally responsible." Matt laughed and held her hand as they stood in line. Brooke sighed. She was under the Matthew Sanders' charm again. Matt and Brooke climbed into a bucket and Matt's warm hand stayed interlocked with Brooke's shaky one. Brooke took deep breaths as they climbed higher and higher and Matt sighed, pulling her closer to him. Brooke melted into Matt's side. She hadn't realized she was cold until she felt his warmth against her skin. The ferris wheel stopped as they were at the top of course and Brooke groaned and covered her eyes. Matt chuckled.

"C'mon Brookie. Look. It really is beautiful." Brooke uncovered her eyes slowly and looked at the lights and people. It really would have been beautiful if she wasn't about to pee on herself because she was so scared. She quickly covered her eyes again and Matt chuckled.

"This is not funny Matthew Charles. I cannot believe I let you talk me into this. You talk me into everything."

"I do not."

"Do too."

"Give me one example."

"This ride."

"You can do better than that." Brooke sat, eyes covered racking her brain. She knew there were a million times that Matt had talked her into doing stuff, she just needed to find a real good one. "I'm waiting."

"I'm thinking." Matt sighed. The ferris wheel started to move again and as it stopped at the bottom and they got out, Brooke thought of something Matt talked her into. "Matt."

"You think of something?"

"Yeah."

"Go ahead."

"You talked me into leaving you." Brooke said quietly. Matt looked at her, eyes wide.

"What?" He asked.

"You talked me into leaving for New York. You told me about all the great oppurtunities I would have there. All the things I would be able to do once I got back..." She trailed off. Matt bit his lip, thinking.

"I guess I did, huh?"

"Yeah, Matt. You did."

"So, my talking made you decide to leave." Brooke hesitated. In all actuality it hadn't been him, exaclty, it had been what they had done. She nodded.

"Yeah, I guess so."

"Well?"

"Well what?"

"Was I right?"

"Oh, yeah. I got a degree in marine biology." Matt's eyes got wide.

"You did?" They walked towards the ice cream shop and walked in, sitting down in a booth.

"Yeah."

"What are you gonna do with it?"

"Frame it." Brooke smirked. Matt laughed.

"I know I've said this, but I really have missed you Brookie."

"I missed you too."

"CITY! OH MY GOD, CITY! YOU WILL NOT BELIEVE WHAT I DIIIIID!" Jimmy screamed, running into the ice cream shop. Brooke smiled up at him as he stood on front of her, hands behind his back. "Guess what, guess what, guess what!"

"What?"

"Guess!!!!" He whined.

"Uhm, you have a present for me behind your back?" Jimmy smiled and handed a stuffed bear out to her. The bear was wearing a kimono and jeans. Brooke couldn't help bu laugh.

"Press the button on it's hand." Brooke did and Jimmy's voice started to play.

"When the lights, go down, in the city. And the moon shines on the baaaaaaaaay. I want to be there-ee-eerrre, with MY CITAAAYYY! Wooooo-ooo-ohhhh-oh-oh-oh!"

"Jimmy!" Brooke stood up and hugged him. "This is the best!"

"Johnny, did that nice 'woah' on the end." Jimmy smiled, hugging Brooke back. Brooke squeezed Johnny.

"This is just precious you guys. Thanks so much."

"You're welcome. Ice cream?"

"Rocky Road." Matt demanded.

"Cookies and cream, please."

"Hey, Johnny, go get our ice cream. I want mint chocolate chip." Jimmy shoved Johnny towards the counter, making Brooke and Matt chuckle. "You really like it City?" Jimmy asked, gesturing towards the bear in her lap. She nodded.

"I always wanted a bear from Build-A-Bear."

"Well, I know I'm a little late, but that's your 'Welcome Home' gift."

"It's perfect." Johnny soon returned with four cones and gave them each their cone. The four friends sat, ate ice cream, and joked around for a couple of hours until Jimmy decided he was tired and told Johnny to get his ass in the car. Brooke hugged Jimmy and Johnny bye and they waved until she could no longer see them.

"So, what next?" Matt asked, looking across the booth at Brooke. She shrugged.

"No idea. What did we used to do?"

"Eat at Rafter's, eat ice cream, and either walk around with beer in thermoses or walk down to the spot." Brooke laughed, remembering all the crazy times they'd spent at the spot. "I think I have an idea. Come on." Matt grabbed Brooke's hand and dragged her out of the booth.

Matt had no idea what was going on. He felt so carefree and young. He hadn't felt this way in so long. Ever since he'd gotten with Lilith, he'd felt trapped and he felt older everyday. He wasn't even old! He was still young, but this young feeling he had now, it was different. Being with Brooke made him want to be back in high school. He wanted to sneak beer out to the spot and sneak back in. He wanted to have late night jam sessions with his best friends, Brooke and Cole dancing and singing along, applauding their shit ass playing. He wanted to go back to where he and Brooke had that 'semi dating' phase. He wanted to hold Brooke in his arms by a fire again, he wanted to dance with her to some slow classic rock ballad, he wanted to kiss her under the stars like he'd done so many times before.

"Matt really?" Brooke asked as Matt stopped in front of Build-A-Bear. "I just got one."

"Yeah, but I didn't." Brooke looked up at him.

"Really?"

"Really. C'mon, we'll make each other bears." Brooke rolled her eyes as she walked inside.

"Fine."

"Okay, pick your bear and I'll pick mine and then we'll go our seperate ways and be surprised at the end. Deal?" Brooke nodded and grabbed a bear, handing it to Matt and Matt did the same. Then he walked away to the opposite side of the 'workshop' and got to work, picking out clothes. Brooke smiled and shook her head, eyeing the section of clothes in front of her. She picked out a plaid dress and a pair of aviators. No hair, that would make the teddy bear retarded. She did give it a headband with a bow on it though. Just for a touch of something. She looked over her shoulder to see Matt still making his bear so she turned back around and walked to the register to purchase her bear. "Brookie, close your eyes." Brooke did as Matt told her and she heard the cashier start talking excitedly to Matt. Brooke opened her eyes to see Matt sign an autograph and shut them quickly as Matt started to turn around. "Okay, open."

"Oh, Matt!" Brooke chuckled, as Matt held out the bear he had made. It was wearing jeans, a white tee, a bandana with a hat, and of course aviators. Now she had a Jimmy and a Matt bear. She was collecting teddy bears of the whole damn band.

"Yeah, I guess we made each other bears of ourselves. Great minds think alike." Brooke laughed, and squeezed her bear close. Matt smiled down at his bear. "I'm gonna look like a fag carrying this." Brooke smiled.

"Good," she said. Matt grabbed her hand and led her out of the store. "What next Matthew?" He looked at his watch.

"We can go put these in the car and then walk down to the beach?"

"Okay." At the beach, Brooke and Matt stared out at the ocean, making fun of one another and talking about old times.

"Do you remember when Johhny tried to kiss you, over by the dock?" Matt asked, the smile from his last laugh lingering. Brooke nodded and threw her head back, laughing.

"Yes. Dear God, and then you picked him, up and threw him on the sand. You almost broke his back."

"He was trying to kiss my girl."

"Matt, I was never your 'girl.'" Matt looked over at Brooke.

"Well, I thought there was that time..." Brooke's stomach clenched. This is why she was afraid of talking to Matt again. She didn't want That Time to come up. She faked a big yawn and Matt's brow wrinkled. "You tired Brookie?" He asked, changing the subject. She nodded. Matt stood up and helped Brooke up. "Guess we'd better get back to Cole and Zack's then."

"Guess so." Matt unlocked and opened the door for Brooke and got in on his side. They radio played some classic rock ballad and Matt smiled.

"Do you remember this song?" He asked, looking over at Brooke, who smiled.

"Yeah. We used to dance to it everytime it came on the radio, at The Spot. Talk about a soundtrack to your summer." Matt chuckled and turned up the song, singing it to Brooke, who couldn't help but laugh. Matt was such a ham. The song ended just as Matt pulled quietly into the drive, killing the engine and the lights. They got out each shutting the car door quietly. Matt followed Brooke up to the front door and unlocked it. He turned the door handle quietly and peeked his head in. He heard a male voice and when he opened the door fully, realized Zack was in the kitchen, singing softly to Nick in his arms. Zack looked up and smalled smally.

"Hey." Matt gave a nod and shut the door behind him as Brooke walked into the kitchen.

"What's up with Nick?"

"He woke up and whatever Cole did, wouldn't go back to sleep, so I took him. He wouldn't stop fussing though, so I heated him up some milk, gave it to him in a sippy cup, yanno? I helped him hold it, though, 'cause he was still sleepy. Well, he started to drift off and I tried to carry him upstairs to lay him done and he started to fuss. That happened about three more times. So, I just decided I'd get him asleep down here and lay him down after he's been asleep for a while." Brooke smiled down at the minature Zack. Matt walked upstairs to get a blanket and pillow.

"You have fun tonight?" Zack asked, rubbing Nick's back. Brooke nodded and held up the three bears.

"I got a Matt bear and a Jimmy bear. The Jimmy bear sings. I'm pretty sure the Matt one does too." Zack chuckled.

"I guess I've got to make you one, too?"

"Oh, please do," Brooke answered, sarcastically.

"You'd love one and you know it."

"Yes, brother dear, I had a good time. Matt talked me into the ferris wheel, I almost peed myself, we ate ice cream with Jimmy and Johnny, made bears for each other, and then went to the beach and talked.

"About what?" Zack turned his head to see Nick's face.

"Old times." Zack smiled and Brooke shook her head. "Like the time Johnny tried to kiss me. Stuff like that." Zack frowned.

"Cole's not gonna like that." His eyes shot up as Matt came down the stairs. "Well, I think this little guy's asleep. We'll see you in the morning." Zack said, as Matt walked into the kitchen. Brooke stood and Zack kissed her cheek, nodded to Matt, and walked upstairs.

"You staying in the guest bedroom?" Matt asked, pointing down the hallway. Brooke nodded.

"Yeah."

"Well, I'll see you in the morning." Brooke looked up at Matt. It had gotten real awkward all of a sudden. Suddenly, Matt's big arms wrapped around Brooke once again. "Night Brookie."

"Night Mattie." Matt realeased her and she went to sleep. As all the lights in the house went out, two people laid awake, thinking about each other.