It's Always a Fight Against Time

A total of five days later I sat in a car, a shiny, brand-new black car with a single, little, colorful flag flying from the front antenna.

Ale's arm was wrapped around my body while Kristopher sat in my lap clinging onto my neck, almost choking me but I really could care less, he can choke me right about now all he wants to.

Lucas sat next to me on the other side, holding Zaylie in his arms. Both men looked like crap, both almost in a way like Swiss cheese with bullets permanently scaring them from that Godforsaken day. But they were alright, they would live... Live with the scars and memories but they weren't dead. However, sometimes the memories are the worse of the outcomes. Worse than anything and you want to die instead, be in peace instead of having the never ending nightmares.

But this is better than nothing, better than option B.

We arrived to the grassy area, in the middle of a field and walked towards the sea of people. They all looked our way but said nothing, just made way as we walked through the space they made for us to pass between them. A brief glance backwards I saw everyone else following after us, more slowly. I promised myself I wouldn't cry, I told and even screamed at myself that I wouldn't but I cracked. I followed behind my parents, up the hill. Ale’s arm was still around my waist loosely, Kris was still holding onto me, his head buried into my neck. Lucas was still behind slightly, almost beside me as well, but not quite.

My parents stopped at the top and turned right. When I saw them all at the top the tears flooded and ran from my eyes instantly. I couldn't hold it in any longer. At the top were five vertically placed wooden caskets, waiting to be lowered into their respective volts. All of them were there in a cluster next to one another in one big group. After we all were lined up around them, the sea of people came in closer, watching as one by one they were laid into the ground.

Shimmy's mother was killed by Gronk before they came after us that night, she was found later on at her apartment that next day, strangled and killed from blunt force trauma to her head. She was unconscious but it was the strangling after the initial hit that killed her.

Shimmy's girlfriend was next, she was also killed by Gronk and was found with Shimmy's mother, she however was found in much worse conditions that the previous.

Alex, my old school-mate and Lucas's best friend was killed in the exchange. He only came back to the house a few minutes before it all started and was killed instantly with one of the first shots, one straight to the head. He was such a pain in my ass… but it hurt so badly to see him-

Nichcoli died in my arms. After the shooting stopped and the police came in I ran out of the room, making Kris stay in case it was dangerous...basically I didn't want him to see anything downstairs, if there was anything to see that is. Nichcoli was at the bottom of the steps, he was the first I could get to. I held onto him, in my arms until Lucas grabbed me and made me let go of him so that the medics could take a look at him... I already knew he was gone. And it br-broke-e m-my heart.

Shimmy was pronounced dead at the house, and brought back twice after flat lining. He was in a coma, in the hospital for 2 days before he flat lined for the 3rd time and passed on. It was a bittersweet thing, much more bitter than sweet though to be honest. If he came back he would be paralyzed from the neck down and not be able to think right anyways....but he should never have been in this situation from the start.

Gronk was killed as well as seven of his members, the rest sit in jail but that doesn't matter… I couldn't give two shits about him or those of his “gang.”

I stood watching them all go down into the earth, roses and flowers heaped up on top.

I remember sinking to the ground and Lucas doing the same next to me, holding me and Kris as the two of us sobbed; me for the loss of a friend and Kris, for the loss of his father.

I don't know what was next, what could possibly happen now... How will we ever go on?

After it was over, we all walked back through the sea before us: family, friends some random people too all the way back to the cars eventually heading to the after-wake thing at some fire hall, somewhere.

Somehow all of us... Matt, Jimmy, Brian, Zacky, Johnny, Ale, Lucas, Savannah, the kids and I ended up in the basement of the hall. We just sat around in our own little group away from the rest of the world. At first it was dead silence but eventually we all started talking, laughing...reminiscing about them all. I never really knew Shimmy's mother or ex-girlfriend but the rest we all knew well enough. Even Kris was smiling and laughing. He lost everyone in his life, all his biological family... but I wasn't about to let him grow up anywhere but with us. Lucas and I talked about adopting him this morning but neither of us know...it’s a tough subject to discuss now, but we can’t just let him go...not after all of this. He’s family and he needs us.

The hours flew by, alcohol was drunk and things eventually started to come to life. Things were coming to light so to speak.

No one knew how we were going to get through it, get over it and more on... But one thing was certain through all this mess.

It brought us all closer together, we would always be there for each other and no one would give up on another. We would get through it in time and together.

The 11 of us made a family, a very diverse and intricate family; we would make it through.

All we needed was each other.