The Redhead, and The Dreamer.

I didn’t know who exactly I thought I was kidding, because the whole ‘no eating because I don’t want to get any fatter’ thing ended up working for about two hours or so until I got home and decided I really needed a chocolate chip cookie before I could even think about going to bed. I had two, and while I did feel a lot like a pig afterwards, I also felt completely satisfied. That made it all good, and I figured I’d worry about the calories and whatever else were in the cookies some other time when I wasn’t dead tired. Of course, by time morning came I’d forgotten about them completely. I still remembered I was supposed to be feeling fat, but the reasons why were beyond me.

It was Sunday, so I was quick to use my human right to lay around the house all day on Facebook, acting like I really had some kind of exciting plans for that night. There were a few parties, I could have attempted showing up to where everyone would be happy I was there, but partying sounded like nothing I wanted to do that night. I curled up on the couch with a library book and proceeded to just stare at the pages and act like someone was missing me somewhere. It was exactly what I used to do back before I’d decided to go crazy and hang around with Crystal, and it really made me remember how sad my life used to be.

How was it that that night, I was a nerd, a party girl, a fat girl, the girl nobody wanted, and the girl that everyone was going to be wondering where she was all at once. It didn’t really seem possible, and yet, somehow, it was. It was what I was at that moment, and I kind of liked it in a really strange sort of way.