It Wasn't Meant to Be Like This

“Guys, this is Maggie” I say suddenly, pushing Maggie forward slightly. Maggie gave a warm smile and I knew Jack would approve, although I felt pathetic for needing his approval.

“Hi, I’m Maggie Tate” she introduces and shakes hands with Jack and Beth. Jack smiled at her politely and Beth however wasn’t so happy anymore. I didn’t understand why. We take our seats, and I felt half relieved that we were sitting down.

The night as I imagined didn’t go according to plan, their was many awkward silences, the dinner was late which created more awkward silences and I almost spilled wine on Maggie, she pretended it was okay but I could see the warning glint in her eyes.

Beth and Jack were acting like they were fucking newly weds, and it made me bitter, I literally wanted to stabbed myself with my fork, just so they would stop staring in each other’s eyes and kissing each other whether they thought Maggie and I weren’t watching. Maggie did her best to make it seem as though we were a nice couple, he held hands, or Maggie ever so casually brushed my hair with her hands, which I must admit was relaxing.

It was no use, Beth and Jack were the ultimate couple and I felt worthless.

It got even worse, when Jack decided to ask how Maggie and I met and he intentionally embarrassed me when he announced he never heard of Maggie before, Beth watched me carefully when he said that.

Maggie, save her soul, rescued me.

“Blame me Jack, I asked Finn not to mention anything. My father’s extremely strict about dating and he hasn’t met Finn yet, I’d hate it if word got out about us. Some of your friends know me” Maggie completely bluffed it, but Jack wasn’t that smart so I was off the hook.

“Maggie, are you in college?” Beth suddenly asks and I couldn’t help but stare at her, she was playing with her wine glass, delicately touching the rim of the glass, and it made me want to take her hands away and held them.

As if he read my mind, Jack did that, holding her hand in what I thought was possessive manner.

“No, I’m a model” Maggie says, she unfortunately said this as I was taking a sip of water (I was driving after all) and I started to splutter, this was complete news to me and I wondered if she was lying. Maggie glanced at me and gave me look that showed pity. I hated that.

“You okay bud?” Jack asks me, and while trying to breathe again, I nod meekly…sipping my water much slowly.

“A model?” Beth continues and I felt suddenly irritated that she kept going on about it.

“Yeah, I’m a fashion model for Boutique” Maggie says with what I realize, was pride. She was telling the truth. Beth seemed impressed, which must mean that Boutique was a decent enough magazine, I hoped to god it wasn’t a nude one otherwise Jack would never let me hear the end of it.

“Wow, you’re schedule must be busy” Beth says, she sounded slightly sour.

“Not really, I mostly do spring and summer collections, so it’s nice to take time to relax” Maggie says and I couldn’t help feel proud of her. She was taking it all very well.

“Wow, you’re got a good one Finn. Try not to mess it up” Jack teases, but I couldn’t help take it to heart. He made it seem like I was awful at relationships. I wasn’t.

Just as I thought the night couldn’t get any worse, my phone rang which caused Jack to roll his eyes, the people at the next table to glare and the waiters to look at me with much hatred.

“Excuse me” I say and I quickly answer it, I would have left for some privacy but I wanted to annoy everyone around me, so I stayed put.

“Um, is this Finn? April’s brother?” a meek, worried voice said. I froze, immediately thinking the worse.

“Who’s this?” I ask, starting to panic already.

“This is Becky. April’s friend, April’s kind of…out of it. She passed out a few minutes ago, she’s not waking up” Becky says and I realize, she’s crying.

“Where are you?” I demand. Jack stops eating and looks at me.

Becky told me her address, she had decided to throw a house party and April had been stupid enough to go alone.

“I’ll be there soon” I say, hanging up not caring I probably sounded rude. I looked at the three people beside and in front of me, wondering how I could explain without sounding like I was freaking out.

“April’s got drunk or something. I need to go pick her up. Sorry to cut it short. Maggie will have to hitch a ride with you” I tell Jack seriously, getting up.

“Wait what? Is she okay?” Jack demands, sounding just as worried as Becky did.

“I don’t know, I think she tried something…just take Maggie home” I say, picking up my jacket.

“We’ll follow you” Jack orders suddenly and before I could argue he yells for the waiter to come over. Beth and Maggie scurried after me, but I didn’t give a shit.

My sister was in trouble.

Maggie took the car with me, and all I remember was speeding through two red lights and almost running a pedestrian over. The tyres almost squealed as I finally reached Becky’s house, the party was still in full swing as it was only 10pm. I dived out the car, leaving Maggie and raced to the door, I pushed my way in and almost punched someone because he told me to “Chill”.

I looked around frantically, desperate to see my sister was okay, but she was no where in sight.

“Finn! Finn!” a voice shouted above the loud music. It was Becky, I recognized her now, she had been round the house a few times, blonde hair and short skirts type of girl.

I ran over to her and almost shook her. “Where is she?” I demand, suddenly furious that April would do something so dangerous.

“She’s in the kitchen” Becky says and she leads the way, as we pushed through, some stupid, pathetic high school girls trying to dance with me as I made my way through.

I saw her then, she was slumped on the floor, in the corner. Becky obviously had no first aid skills, as April could have easily choked on her own vomit.

“April!” I yell, running to her and crouching down. April’s eyes fluttered open, her face was deathly pale and her eyes were glazed over, I looked at her properly in the eye, they were slightly blood-shot. She was high.

“What did you take?” I demand, needing to know what I was dealing with.

“Finn, I feel sick” she says quietly. She was shaking, although it was above 40 degrees in here.

“You’ll be okay April, just tell me what you took” I plead gently, holding her up.

“I think she tried some weed” Becky voices, terrified. I wanted to yell at her, but I couldn’t as I mostly likely be arrested for hassling her.

“Okay sis, hold on” I say, and I put April’s arm around my neck, she groans as I slowly lift her up in my arms.

“Finn, I want to go home” April whispers, her voice fragile and broken.

“We are honey, hold on” I say, tightening my grip on her. Just as I we were leaving the kitchen, Jack appeared in the front door and saw April in my arms.

I knew Jack was fond of April and wanted to protect her, but I never thought I’d see the amount of anger he had on his face.

Jack rushed over to me. “Oh my god, April…what she done?” he shouts to me, and I just about hear him.

“She’s tried some weed and mixed her drinks. I need to get her home” I say worriedly.

“I’ll meet you there” Jack says and I nod, Jack makes a path between the people and when we finally are outside, Beth and Maggie await us.

“Jack, give me your jacket” I order, and Jack does without hesitation. As I put April in my car, I wrap mine and Jack’s coat around her and Maggie offered to sit in the back with her.

My mind was racing as we drove home, at a steady speed as I didn’t want to make April any worse. I knew she wouldn’t need hospital assistance, but she sure was going to feel like hell tomorrow morning. Getting to my house, I noticed my Mom was out, so that’s why April went out.

Jack opened my front door, and I carried April in who was consistently complaining that her head hurt. I asked Jack to get some iced water and a sick bucket and Beth offered to help me with April.

As I carried April up, she wouldn’t stop shaking. I felt so helpless as I knew I couldn’t really do anything.

Beth helped me change April, much to her protest.

“I’m not looking!” I say, looking away while I just held her pyjamas out. Beth helped dress her and I swung her legs into bed, making sure she was sitting up.

“Finn, I’m going to be sick” she announces, and luckily Jack got here in the knick of time. She threw up multiple times in the bowl, retching and coughing and Maggie apologized but she couldn’t stand the smell, so she left and went downstairs.

I sit beside April, rubbing her back as she continued to throw up, cry and apologize but I knew I couldn’t say anything rational, so I just soothed her telling everything would be okay.

When she finally emptied her system, Beth wiped her mouth and I helped her sip the water, whereas Jack watched helplessly.

Jack knew what it was like, he had tried weed several times before. The last time he had a bad reaction and was ill for three days, he had to be hospitalized. Jack’s father was into drugs heavily, and was never around for Jack, so I knew this was hard for him.

“It’s okay” I soothe, stroking back April’s hair. She began to cry, clutching to me saying she didn’t like it, she didn’t want to do it. She said she was sorry that she let me down.

“We’ll talk tomorrow” I soothe, letting her lie down properly, she needed to sleep.

“Don’t leave me Finn, please” she begs. I smile at her softly.

“I’m not leaving, I’m staying right here…” I assure her, I pulled up a chair, that she used to sit at her vanity table and sat on it, and watched as April fell asleep.

“I’ll go sort this out” Jack says, taking away the sick bucket and surprisingly. Beth didn’t follow.

“You okay?” she whispers, it was dark in April’s room so I couldn’t really see her expression, but she sounded sympathetic.

“Um…yeah” I say tiredly, my brain was wired completely different now.

“Really?” Beth asks me, in somewhat shock.

“No” I say bluntly.

Beth sighs gently and kneeled down beside me, her hand resting on my forearm.

“It’s not your fault you know” she whispers and I freeze, unable to understand how she knew I felt like it was. I was failure, I couldn’t help my sister. I couldn’t protect her from drugs. I should have done better.

“I’ve let my Dad down” I admit, and I knew Beth would understand, because she always understands.

“No you haven’t. April made a mistake, you fixed it. You’re Dad would have been proud…” Beth attempts to reassure me. I sighed, knowing I should give into that.

But I couldn’t allow myself. I still felt responsible.

“She could have hurt herself” I whisper, feeling emotional.

“I know” Beth whispers.

I found myself leaning into Beth for support, I hoped she wouldn’t reject me, I couldn’t stand that anymore. Beth hugged me, she hugged and she didn’t let go.

I found myself wondering if I’d ever get over Beth, as she sure wasn’t help me get over her, in fact this whole drama has only made me like her more.