It's out of Your Hands but Not out of Reach

When Frank Iero had first laid eyes upon one Gerard Way it had been during one of his band's shows at a local club in the pits of Jersey. The singer was, to say the least, absolutely hammered. His chubby body swayed around the stage, his hair greasy clumps knotting over his face as he screamed down the taped up microphone, falling to his knees not to imply dramatics to his performance but simply because the man had been unable to stand.

Even though the band, My Chemical Romance, had to finish their last song without the vocals (as the singer was now asleep under the front bit of the small jigsaw type stage after falling off and rolling under it) he knew they would be a tough act to follow.

The drummer was enthusiastic, the guitarist (who was supporting the making of a 'fro) was mind blowing and the bassist, although shy and reserved with sticky up hair and jam jar glasses, showed passion in every note.

He and the rest of Pencey Prep would have their work cut out for them, but damnit they were up for the challenge.

That was two years ago, in which time, a lot had changed. Pencey Prep was no more, and Frank hardly ever spoke to the members anymore. They'd split due to artistic differences, as he like to put it, and he had soon dropped the idea of education also to pursue other fields in the music area. If he couldn't be up there making music himself with his whiney screams and beloved guitar, hell he'd make sure other people could do it right and sound right.

So, against the wishes of his mother, he became Frank Iero, roadie and guitar tech extraordinaire!

He'd started by doing stage set ups for a few local bands around Jersey, in the places he used to play in. After spending sometimes up to an hour just on one stage set he'd sit back and admire his work as the band played. Even if the band were awful, he liked to think they'd be a little more awful had it not been for him and his skills in that particular area whether it be the way he tuned a guitar or set up a mic. And as he continuously helped out an infinite number of bands in perhaps a hundred crappy bars (god knows there were more) he gradually built up a name for himself and was soon able to move on to bigger and better things. Well, venues.

"So who's on tonight again?" Frank asked as he slung his jacket over the torn up couch in the pathetic excuse for a staff room, his question directed to the small brown and black haired woman currently rummaging through a bag of Doritos. She was Frank's partner in crime, his number one amigo and the best sound tech this side of Jersey. Pet names included Mini, Blitz and You-British-Bitch, but most just stuck with Hollie.

"As It Remains, The Bled, Carcass and My Chemical-" She paused and looked up to the ceiling, hoping to find the rest of the band name floating in the air "-Chemical." She huffed and pulled the crumpled piece of paper from her pocket "God damnit I can never remember them all. ROMANCE! That's the baby."

"My Chemical Romance?" Frank asked, flopping down on to the couch in a some what dazed state.

She nodded "Yeah, friends of yours?"

He sighed "We played together, back in the day."

"Oh, it's going to be one of those stories is it?" She drawled, rolling her eyes "Shall I pull up a muffin?"

"Shut it woman!" He barked

"Make me."

"I'll use the P word."

"Shutting up." Frank grinned triumphantly to which the smaller woman glared "Alright, enough dosing, get your ass out there and help set up that stage, the others were here ten minutes ago."

"Yes boss." He sighed, saluting and hauling himself up from the couch to traipse over to the door. "And when will your majesty be joining us?" He asked, turning round briefly to catch her diving back in to the bag of treats.

"Shout me when the P.A. and mixer are set up." She stated "And don't fuck up the inputs this time please, I'd like my channels tidy."

Frank rolled his eyes and walked out of the room, mumbling something about whiney British before the door swung closed. He trailed out to the main concert hall, clambering up the stage steps quickly.

He loved this venue, more than any other he'd ever worked in. It was big, but homie. You could get a kick ass crowd in, but it was still small enough to keep the posers out. And, with a bar at the far end, it was perfect for off work socializing, although with the amount of new people he met on the job, he was socializing constantly, whether he wanted to or not.

"Frank!" A sharp shout from his work partner Trent tore his eyes to the edge of the stage "Come sort out this EQ on the desk, it's being a pissy bitch again."

Frank sighed, clomping over to the stage and sitting down on its edge "Do I have to?"

"Afraid so dude, I gotta go set the refreshment table in the back for the bands before they get here, plus you're the only one who can tame that desk to Blitz's standards. And you know what she's like if she doesn't have her desk the way she likes it."

"Vicious." Frank stated "Scary and vicious."

"And British!" Trent added, pointing his index finger towards Frank, but at no one in particular.

Frank laughed, leaning back slightly as the sound tickled through him. Letting the last giggle out slowly he came forward again "True, but don't say that to her, she'll have your nuts off."

Trent winced and clutched at his groin, his momentary protest interrupted by a rupture of laughs coming from the entrance. The two men at the stage glanced across to see groups of musicians spilling through the double doors. Trent groaned.

"They're early. Fucking musicians! I better go." He high fived Frank (their usual greeting and departure method) and traipsed off in to the back room.

Frank stayed in his position, watching as the various musicians dispersed around the venue, some heading for the toilets, some for the back room, some standing in the crowd area to gawk around, some off to the stage and a few started moving over to him.

He recognized the guitarist first, his mini 'fro now fully blown and out of control. That thing must have a mind of its own when he shreds, he thought, eyes skipping over to the drummer – same guy who always sort of stood out, bassist, still tall skinny with that damn Anthrax shirt, and then Gerard, the only one he could remember perfectly. He'd lost a few pounds, to say the least, his hair still dark and messy like he'd just got out of the shower, same tacky leather jacket adorning his bulky shoulders. Yeah, it was My Chemical Romance alright.

"Well, if it isn't the little punk ass from Pencey Prep" Ray announced with a smile, sticking a hand out to grab Frank's and sake it, almost tearing his arm from the socket with enthusiasm. Good shake. "How you doin kid?"

Kid? This guy's like three or four years older than him, and he's a kid?!

"I'm alright." Frank mumbled his tone dull and dry compared to the bouncy haired guitarist "So you guys in on this gig then?" Ray nodded "It's a pretty big thing, must be doin alright for yourselves"

"Hell yeah! We got signed to Eyeball last year, put out a record." Ray said proudly.

"No shit." Frank almost chuckled, bewildered he'd never picked it up or even seen it "I'll take a listen some time."

"Yeah you should! Speaking of listening whose got sound in this place? Looks like it's got a monstrous desk." Ray commented, jutting his thumb to the back of the room towards the sound area.

"Ahh, well, you got the best in the business, we call 'em Blitz" Frank grinned.

"Blitz? Why the hell would you call someone Blitz?" Mikey piped up, his voice still as nerdish and uneven as Frank last recalled.

"Because if you fuck me off I'll tear down your house quicker than Hitler." Hollie announced, jumping down from the stage to adorn the center.

"It's a chick!" Matt stated, Frank confused as to why such conversation had erupted from the apparently silent other band members.

"It is?!" She gasped, making a quick grasp at her chest and waist "Well would you look at that, I am a chick!"

"Could have fooled me." Frank sniggered.

"I heard that Iero!" She glared "Fucking overtime for you, short ass!"

"You're smaller than me." He complained.

"Yes but I am the boss, therefore I am bigger and better than you and there's nothing you can do about it." She stated as-a-matter-of-fact-ly, to which Frank huffed and crossed his arms.

Swinging his legs and glaring at his knees like a told off toddler Frank glanced up momentarily just to catch the amused grin of the not forgotten singer, and after processing the expression (usually only used to big drunk beaming grins instead of sly amused ones) Frank jumped back down off the stage "Well, if you'll excuse me, I have work to do." and pushed through the small gathering.

Hollie watched on as Frank trailed over to the sound desk "He's a good'en that one." She drawled, her thick British accent coming through. Even after two years living in Jersey, she still hadn't managed to tame it.

Mikey giggled "She talks funny." To which he abruptly received a slap on the head from his older brother.

-

The show that night went incredible, and Frank was surprised, to say the least. He was sure he'd seen the singer guzzle down a beer or two, no where near what he used to take before shows, and yet the black mop topped man was like a whole other person. He was a performer.

Frank felt as though he really must have been living under a rock for the past two years as the first few rows of kids seemed to know every damn word to every damn song, and Gerard would occasionally stick out his mic in to the first row and have some small group of sweaty frantic teens scream the lyrics back to him. Frank was impressed, bewildered, but impressed.

The entire of My Chemical Romance had seemed to have under gone some form of transformation. They played well before, and they were in to it, you could tell. But now their hearts and souls were in to it, they were feeling the music and becoming it, taking in each note and letting it run through them, every lyric and line expressed with such effortless accuracy and Frank, well, he was a little jealous.

When Pencey Prep had ended he liked to think that all the other bands he'd played with also met the same demise, leaving the road clear for a new breed so that they could get new jobs and become the kids that never were. But My Chemical Romance had pretty much, to put it plainly, shit all over that theory and Frank would have been fuming if only he could tear his eyes away from the singer.

The way he moved, his hips, his hair, his lips, his everything – it was amazing. It was mesmerizing and so god damn sexual even if he didn't mean it to be. Oh he meant it to be alright.

Frank had never seen a crowd so unwilling to let a band leave the stage, and as the chants of "MCR!" got louder and louder, he felt that pang of jealousy and something else. He didn't like that something else.

Leaving Hollie to do her duties with the next band Frank fought his way through the crowd and to the back stage doors, heading for the band room. He high fived Trent as he passed the side of the stage, who was currently tuning up a Bass, and ducked through the double doors.

He was surprised to find only My Chem in the band room; the members sprawled out over chairs and sofas, guzzling down any liquid they could find, usually alcoholic. Gerard sat on a fold up chair next to the refreshment table, bottle of water in hand.

"Hey Frank," Ray piped, flinging his fro back to view the smaller man as he stepped in to the room "You see us play?"

He nodded "Yeah," His eyes subconsciously drifted over to Gerard who was still panting with a lazy smile on his face "You were amazing."

"Aww stop, you're making us blush." Mikey commented, throwing his hands up.

"I really enjoyed that show." Gerard spoke softly, eyes fixated on the ceiling.

"Yeah, me too" Matt added "The sound was awesome, I could hear everyone, for a change. It was really well done."

"For a girl?" Mikey smirked.

"Hey, I'll admit I had my hang ups at first, but the chick knows her shit." He stated.

"And you don't want her to tear down your house?" The bassist teased.

"That too."

Whilst the members bantered among themselves Frank quietly slipped to the other side of the room, dragging another fold up chair along with him and positioning it next to Gerard's. He sat down casually and took a bottle of water from the table.

"So, you really like the show that much?" Gerard asked, tilting his head towards the younger man.

He nodded "Amazing."

"Better than two years ago?"

"A whole new band almost."

"A new lead singer too. Well, getting there" The vocalist sighed.

Frank's brows knitted together in confusion "What d'ya mean?"

"You may have noticed," Gerard began, taking a dramatic pause "That I was a little more, um-"

"Sober?" Frank interrupted, to which Gerard nodded.

"Yes, sober than the last time you saw us play." He paused again. "I'm quitting. Well, trying. Just lowering the dosage for now, I can't seem to tear myself from it completely yet."

"Hey, Rome wasn't built in a day" Frank offered softly. Gerard smiled and nodded, grateful for his comment and apparent understanding. They held a gaze for a few moments, the sounds of other conversations drowning out as it appeared Gerard's eyes were really trying to say something. Frank began to feel a little unnerved "Well, I better get back."

He placed his unopened water back on the table and made for the door, ignoring the calls of "See ya Frank." and "Catch you later." from everyone. Well, everyone but Gerard.

That night Frank jerked off in his cold room in his cold apartment to the images of Gerard's lips and hips doing other things than what they were apparently so good at doing on stage. And his eyes, that gaze they shared was burning in his mind as he came, mewling softly and hips arching off the bed ever so slightly.

-

A month later Frank was to roadie and tech out on a summer tour. He had been ecstatic when Hollie had announced she wanted Frank to accompany her on the tour while Trent and the others held down the fort. That was until she handed him the running list. And who had to be smack bang at the top?

Why, My Chemical Romance of course.

Frank had checked out their CD a day or so after the gig, and since then it had never left his stereo. Well, sometimes on the off chance it would jump in to his walkman. Gerard's screaming melodic voice had accompanied him many lonely nights, and the half lit pictures of Gerard inside were masturbation material aplenty.

And he almost died and went to wet dream heaven when his skills online helped him stumble across an unprofessional, low budgeted music video or two, both in which the singer grabbed the mic with bold hands and screamed in to it.

Now Frank would never be able to get that stain out of his computer chair.

He'd become, well, a little obsessed. He was starting to feel like a fourteen year old girl with the hormones of a fourteen year old boy. It was tiring, embarrassing and tiring.

-

"You all ready for the big open road?" Hollie beamed, her voice way too bright and upbeat for so early in the morning.

Okay, so maybe it was just a little past eleven am, but Frank wasn't used to seeing daylight until at least two, at least, so this whole new world was weird to him.

"Remember, you'll be sharing a bus with many other people so you'll have to tone it down on spankin' the monkey." She giggled.

He knew telling her anything was the biggest mistake he could have ever made.

"I don't think I've heard that since I was 16." He stated "Is that how the rest of your people talk?"

"My people? " She asked, raising an eyebrow "Frank, I'm from London, not an Indian tribe. Deal with it."

Frank rolled his eyes as Hollie sighed dramatically, throwing her arms up in defeat as she stalked off with her case over to one of the two roadie busses.

The roadies were to cram in to the two buses and head on out to their first destination, which was only an hour or so away and set shit up before the bands arrived. Frank had forgotten where their first port of call was to be, he had a list somewhere. Not that it really mattered since every where looked the same. Just some big field, fences and a shit load of tents. He remembered it that way back when he was a punk ass teen (opposed to being a punk ass twenty something) and used to do these tours with friends, a beat up old van and a shit load of beer.

No, he didn't need to know where they were, but his mother might when she called to check up on him, probably getting increasingly worried that her son didn't know what part of America he was in.

-

"God they'll let any little punk asses in these things won't they Gee?"

"That they will Toro."

Frank turned round from facing the amp, white Gibson slung around him like a line of bullets. The two hadn't changed much. The 'fro was still a marvel comic super villain in the making, with an awesome guitarist attached. And Gerard, god, he was still Gerard, but a little cleaner. His hair wasn't in the usual greasy rivets streaming down his face, but fluffy and soft.

Frank would have asked Gerard what shampoo he used, but he figured he may as well have painted himself a sign that said I'm a fucking fairy.

"Hey guys." Frank offered brightly, his eyes fixated to the cigarette Gerard was now smoking.

"S'up punk?" Gerard smiled, his lips folding around the white stick so well that god Frank was glad he had a guitar over his groin area.

"Not much, just setting up." He replied, gulping even though there was a serious drought going on in his mouth.

"Frank! Stop fuckin day dreaming and – oh hello boys" Hollie strolled from behind a stack of amps "Good to see you."

"You too." Ray smiled "At least we know we'll be getting some decent sound on this tour"

"Aw. Flattery. It'll get you everywhere with me." She grinned

"Yeah, everywhere" Frank sniggered.

"I'll ignore that comment guessing you'd like to keep your genitals fully in tact." She growled playfully. "Anyway," She began again in a brighter tone "Aren't there some of you missing?"

"Well," Ray announced "We have a new drummer, long story. And Mikey is, um, he's-"

"Right here" The bassist chirped, walking from behind Gerard. He'd changed quite a lot in a month. He was still lanky and skinny, of course, and still wearing that damn shirt. But his hair was a little longer, cut and styled under a grey beanie, and he'd acquired some new glasses. Black, white and stylish. And skinny jeans. He wasn't looking particularly geeky anymore, well maybe a little, but in an adorable kind of way.

As Frank glanced over to Hollie, her jaw cemented to the floor, it seemed that maybe she found it a little more than adorable. Mikey blushed under her gauping eyes, and Frank began to wonder if anybody else could suddenly hear Summer Lovin' drifting through the air. He glanced around confused.

Frank then used his index finger to subtly close Hollie's mouth. She shook her head and began to stumble away.

"I should, um, I really have to, this thing needs to be, um-" And she disappeared right back to where she came from.

Looking from Frank, to his brother, to the direction the stuttering woman disappeared and then back to his brother the bassist quickly side stepped away from the group calling "I'll help!"

Ray huffed and crossed his arms "If your brother gets laid on this tour before me, I'll seriously be depressed." He glared on after Mikey.

Gerard began to play an invisible violin behind the guitarist's back, to which Frank burst out laughing. As Ray spun around quickly Gerard stopped, smirked, and instantly pointed to Frank who was biting his lip in an effort to contain the laughter. The guitarist rolled his eyes and walked away, leaving the other two in immature fits of giggles.

-

Much like a month before, My Chemical Romance played an amazing set, and this time it was more or less the whole crowd who sang all the words, cheered so loud it could shake the stage and refused to let the small town band leave the stage.

They played much like they had played before, yet the performance stood out so much from the last. Their energy was there, they were still becoming what they were playing and yet Frank got the feeling that with this band, no two performances would ever be the same.

Their new drummer, who Frank had yet to meet, seemed to slot right in to the band perfectly. He was a well built guy with short blonde hair and piercings with the same sunglasses fetish that Gerard seemed to carry. He'd been speaking to Hollie about sound, as she had told Frank later, and used to be a techie himself before he was asked to join the band. Hollie's earlier run down of him went something like,

"He's built like a shit house, but in the cuddly bear kinda way. Awesome sound guy, knows what he's doing. Oh, and he's called Bob."

Frank had giggled, rolled his eyes in a playful manner and made some other comment about you Londoners before being chased with a raised shoe.

-

To celebrate the first successful day of the tour the bands and road crew dispersed towards the nearest town for greasy food and cold booze. Frank thought he'd take advantage of the site being completely abandoned and walk around in the night by himself, smoking and thinking.

On his second cigarette he rounded the bus area, inhaling the toxin and gazing up at the stars. There were so many out tonight, more than he'd seen in a while. The sky was black, jet black, the moon pale and full and the loneliness of it all seemed to some how comfort him.

He used the toe of his Vans to shift the gravel at his feet around, shuffling through the chalky stone lightly as he waded through the gap between two buses. The lights were off in most, even the drivers had gone with the others. Sleep isn't necessary when you've a good show to celebrate, apparently.

As he moved on a little further there was one tour bus with the lights still on. Frank tilted his head to the side like a confused spaniel, sucked off the last bit of white from his cigarette and then dropped it to the ground, toeing it quickly, killing the embers with the dirt.

As he got closer to the light he recognized just whose bus it was as on a window near the bunk area was the diamond shaped yellow sign 'Porn Star On Board' which belonged to a certain fluffy haired vocalist, obviously.

Frank knocked on the door softly, and after a moments pause heard a muffled "Come in."

Pulling back the bulky door he climbed up the two steps and found himself now in the living area of the tour bus. Gerard was laid on the couch next to the kitchen table, a laptop on the table with a movie playing. By the sounds and a second glance, he'd figured it to be 'The Shining', a movie he'd seen more times than he could count.

The singer looked up as Frank entered from the opposite side of the bus and smiled softly. "Hey," Frank smiled and nodded in return "Why aren't you out with the others?" He asked, sitting up and pausing the movie.

"I just didn't feel like it. Thought I'd wander around for a while y'know, enjoy the peace." He explained "You?"

"They're all off drinking, and I'm still trying to get out of all that. I made them go out, I didn't want them stopping in because of me."

"How are you doin with the not drinking?" He asked, hoping he wouldn't mind letting him know. After all he was well within his right to tell Frank to mind his own damn business.

"Not a drop in three weeks." He stated proudly

"You got off it all together?" Gerard nodded "That's awesome man, fuck, really it is."

"Thanks." He mumbled, and Frank wasn't convinced but he was fairly sure he saw a small blush as the singer glanced down to the floor.

"Hey, do you um, want some company?" Frank asked, his hands stuffed in to his pockets.

Gerard looked up from the floor "You don't have to, I'm not a charity case."

"Good," Frank stated "Because I'm not that generous." He grinned, and a second later the two were laughing softly, any tension or awkwardness disappearing completely.

"Shut the lights off then and pass me that blanket, I'm fucking freezing." And he shivered on cue.

Frank shut off the living area light as Gerard played the movie, and then reached out for the blanket whining 'Blankie!' Frank laughed at the adorableness, petted the singer's head affectionately and handed him the red cut of material.

As Frank sat down Gerard pushed some of the blanket into his lap, smoothing it out and smushing their shoulders close together. Feeling his heart beat quicken, Frank couldn't help but smile when Gerard's head came to rest on his shoulder. Frank had to perch his chin on Gerard's head to be able to see the screen, but he didn't mind.

"Can you see okay?" Gerard asked after a few minutes

"Yeah, I guess." Frank replied, but Gerard moved anyway. He picked up the laptop and moved it on to the small coffee table in front of them, which probably would have been a better place for it in the first place, but it had failed to occur to him then.

The singer turned around and began to clamber over Frank. When he was straddling his middle he stopped for a moment to glance down at the younger man and smile.

"What, what are you doing?" Frank asked, trying to keep his voice from raising a few octaves.

"Getting behind you." God Frank would be jacking off to the sentence later. "If I lay in front of you, then you won't be able to see because you're small."

"I prefer vertically challenged!" Frank cut in.

Gerard grinned "Sure you do." And pushed Frank over and down so he was lay in front, and then quickly situated himself behind.

Frank could feel Gerard's warm breath tickling the back of his neck, making the hairs stand up on end. He gulped audibly and let out a raspy breath.

"Frank, can you be a doll and press play?" Frank was sure Gerard was smiling, even if he couldn't see it he could sure as hell feel it.

"Sure." He replied quietly, reaching across to the laptop.

As his fingers touched the object he felt a small weight on his hip. He slowly pulled his body back to the couch and then the soft weight began to move. He froze. The soft patter of fingertips began to trickle under his shirt, grazing his skin ever so slightly. He held his breath. The calming sensation (although at the moment he certainly was not calm) began to travel slowly round his hip. The fingers came together and a flattened palm began to spread across his lower stomach.

The warm breath was back again.

"If you don't like it, totally tell me to fuck off." Gerard whispered. "You know," Gerard began, as though he were having a completely normal conversation in a completely normal situation "You should get tattoos here" And he ran his hand across Frank's abdomen.

"Well, I," Frank began, having to cough to get his voice to appear normal "I was thinking about getting-" He stopped to moan softly as Gerard's hand began to softly caress the skin "-getting sparrows."

"Really?" Gerard asked, although Frank felt more like he was taunting him "That would look devilishly sexy." He stated, his lips next to Frank's ear. Frank, who was melting in to putty in Gerard's hands, whimpered.

The moment was broken, shattered actually, by the bus door being dragged open, and giggling spilling through the tense atmosphere. Mikey stumbled up a step and fell to his knees, his torso spread out across the floor as an equally drunk Hollie let forth a high shriek of giggles which made Frank and Gerard wince.

Gerard leant up, removing his hand from Frank's stomach making the younger man frown slightly. "Um, Mikey?"

Mikey's face shot up immediately and he scrambled to his knees "Gee! Hey, it's Gee! How are you Gee?"

Gerard rolled his eyes and clambered off the couch. He pulled Mikey up off the floor and shot Frank an apologetic look. "I should get him in bed."

"Yeah, I should take Hollie back too." Frank sighed, standing from the couch and making his way to the door. He stopped as he got to it and turned back around to face Gerard "Some other time?" He offered, his voice hopeful.

Gerard left Mikey leaning in to door way which lead to the bunk area and stood in front of Frank. Curling his index finger under his chin, he tilted Frank's face towards his and placed a soft innocent kiss on his lips. "Some other time." He whispered before reluctantly pulling away and returning to his drunk little brother.

Frank watched with a dreamy sigh as Gerard disappeared in to the bunk area, and then turned and exited the bus to find his drunken friend leaning against it a grinning.

"Right, let's get you back." Frank announced.

She giggled and shook her head "Nope, I wanna go see the stars."

Frank sighed and folded his arms "Hollie, get your ass back to the bus."

She giggled again and shook her head, again. "Nope." And began to stumble off in the other direction.

"If you die I'm not taking any responsibility!" He called after her.

"No need." She called back "I'm going to see the stars while you go have a wank over whatever happened in that bus tonight, and that good night kiss."

He hated it when she was right.

-

The next day Frank was up early. He hadn't had that much sleep and after Hollie's predictions had come true he lay in his bunk and listened to each drunk crew member stumble in and collapse in to their bunk.

He was busy with his usual work, checking the guitar amps worked properly for the first band's set, who weren't due on stage for another three hours, but he liked to plan ahead.

"Here's Johnny!" Gerard's face popped in the space between two high amps, startling Frank and sending him tumbling back with a girlish shriek Gerard giggled and walked around from behind the amps, offering a hand to Frank as he continued to chuckle.

Frank took his hand and allowed himself to be pulled back on to his feet "That wasn't very nice."

"I know, but it was worth the look on your face." He smiled.

"I'm glad my pain amuses you." Frank stated, to which Gerard made a cooing Aww sound.

"Maybe you'll let me make it up to you?" The singer offered. Frank raised an eyebrow, silently enquiring to know more. "Apparently, to what the guys can remember, there's a really nice Italian place round near where they were boozin'. Fancy checking it out with me tonight?"

If Frank were anymore gay he'd be mentally running through his entire wardrobe right at that moment, picking out the perfect outfit.

These jeans with a pink belt and that Kill 'Em All shirt I got last Christmas. Hm. Hot.

"Sure, I’d love to."

-

The place was small and cozy, Papa Pepito's, situated at the end of a long stretch of bars. Fortunately the drunkards couldn't usually stumble this far down, so the place was relatively quiet, even for a Saturday night.

The two men took the booth by the window, conversing for at least twenty minutes before they were ready to order. They spoke about the usual first date topics (well, technically this would be a second date, but to hell with technicalities), their childhoods – briefly, music tastes, home lives, what a joyous whole Jersey was.

They finally ordered, both some kind of pasta dish, Frank's vegetarian of course, who was currently munching on a bread stick.

"You are so hinting for a Lady and the Tramp moment." Gerard smirked, and as Frank bobbed his eyebrows suggestively he leant forward on the table. On the first move he crunched the bread stick, and on the second pressed his lips to Frank's. It was soft, sweet, innocent and quick like the one they shared the previous night, and when they pulled apart, they were greeted by the smiling face of their waitress carrying their meals.

Frank blushed as Gerard apologized, to which she insisted it was fine, placed their meals on the table and left.

"Frank Iero, was that you blushing?" Gerard teased

"No!" The other protested with a small smile as he picked up his fork.

"I think it was." He grinned. "Was it the waitress or the kiss?" He asked, leaning back in to the cushioning of the booth.

Without taking his eyes from his food Frank replied "A little of both." Before stuffing a fork full of pasta in to his mouth.

-

In true first (or second, whatever) date fashion Gerard walked Frank to his tour bus door. They walked slowly through the quiet parking lot, trying to prolong their night as much as possible. Their date had gone better than any date Frank had ever been on, not that there was a large selection to choose from, but even if there was he'd still bet on it that Gerard come out on top. Bad thoughts Frank.

"So," Frank began, leaning against the bus "If there's another little restaurant in the next place then we should, um-"

"Totally do this again?" Gerard asked with a smile

Frank nodded "Yeah, if you'd like to."

Not needing to express his reply in words Gerard moved forward and ducked in to press his lips against Frank's for the third time, only now there was no waitress or drunk brother, so he wasn't letting Frank go anywhere (not that he could being backed against the bus).

Gripping the younger man's hips lightly, Gerard angled his head and found the right moment to slip his tongue past Frank's more than willing lips. Gerard smiled as Frank's fingers clutched the front of his shirt, and he moved one hand from his hips to slide it in to his hair as they kissed deeply, not fighting for dominance because it wasn't that kind of kiss. It was slow and steady and sloppy and nice.

Unfortunately, the pair had to pull away no matter how much they didn't want to, as they were seriously lacking in oxygen. Frank expected Gerard to pull away completely then, give him some dreamy look and walk away (in true teen movie fashion), but instead he took in a breath of air and then dived for Frank's lips again and hey, he wasn't one to complain.

So they made out against the side of the bus like teenagers, hips pressed together, hands roaming clothes and hair and soft whimpers and moans escaping their lips, well Frank's mostly. He started to try and bite back his noises until Gerard's lips left his and began trailing down his neck,

"Don't stop the noises," He whispered on to Frank's skin "I like the noises." He smiled just before finding a supple bit of flesh to bite down on.

Frank's head fell back against the bus, his mouth opened and he moaned long and loud, his hips jerking against Gerard's subconsciously, causing the singer to groan and almost thrust back.

Gerard tore his lips from Frank's skin, panting "Ugh, we have to stop. We can't do this tonight and I'm about one more of your little moans away from a hard on." Frank giggled and Gerard pressed his forehead to the younger man's.

"I suppose you're right. We have a long drive tomorrow to, um, where are we going?"

Gerard shrugged "I have no idea." And kissed Frank again for a few moments, all sloppy and rushed. "I'm going now." He announced, and then kissed Frank much like he had just done, breaking away a moment later "Ok, I'm really going." And the same thing happened. He groaned and tore himself away completely, both men immediately missing the warmth.

"Goodnight." Frank called softly.

"It certainly has been." Gerard smiled before blowing him a kiss and walked back over to his bus, turning round once or twice to watch Frank watching him.

When he had totally disappeared in to the darkness Frank smiled dreamily, nodded, and clambered on to the bus.

-
The drive the next day was long and it was hot. The bus, to Frank, felt like a damn tin can, and all he could do was press his face against a slightly open window like some trapped dog and pray for rain sometime soon.

Frank was all for sunshine, but not in these torturous conditions. He was glad that the more heavily built roadies were on the bus in front, as the sight of them sweating and in shorts could possibly be enough to turn him straight.

"How was your date last night?" Hollie asked as they sat together at the small table in the kitchen area.

"Good girls don't kiss and tell." Frank simply replied, taking another bit of his toast.

She sighed "But Frankie my dear, you are neither good nor a girl, so fess up."

"I don't have to tell you anything." He insisted.

She nodded and stood from her seat, taking her empty glass and placing it in the sink "True, true." She said, rinsing out the glass and placing it back on the side. "By the way," She grinned "Nice hickey." And dashed off to the bunk area.

-

An hour later, making that a total of three hours in the human oven, the busses pulled in to the parking lot of a gas station. There was only about an hour or less left on the road, so Frank was confused as to why they had chosen now to take a break.

He stepped off the bus in his camouflage shorts, white coca cola t-shirt and white shades (too hot for black, not matter how good it looks) and glanced round the area. He spotted Gerard almost immediately in the bus just off to the left, and as soon as the singer had spotted him he began to make his way over.

Frank walked away shooting a playful smile to the man following to make sure he would in fact be following. He led the singer in to the small dingy bathrooms.

As he expected Frank soon found himself pressed against the poorly tiled wall, Gerard's soft lips attached to his. He groaned in to the singer's mouth, coiling his fingers in to his hair and giving a sharp tug. Gerard moaned and bit Frank's bottom lip as he opened his eyes and grinned. He'd found a kink.

"Would you object terribly to me pushing you in to that cubicle and tearing all your clothes off?" Frank suggested with a pondering look.

Gerard laughed "I think it'd actually be impossible to get these tight jeans off, now made even tighter with sweat."

"That's your own fault for wearing black on such a hot day." Frank commented.

"Ah, and you'd be the genius for wearing white?" He asked.

"Momma didn't raise no fool." Frank stated.

"Nope," Gerard began "Momma raised a very, very," He nuzzled the side of his head against Frank's, biting down on the skin below his ear "Very sexy boy."

Frank shuddered "Could you please not use that voice while talking about my mother? It's disturbing, to say the least, and scarring, since I'm getting quite aroused."

Gerard grinned, bit on Frank's earlobe and growled "Who's your daddy?"
"Sick bastard, get away from me!" Frank called, trying to push Gerard away as the older man giggled and clung to his middle, refusing to be pushed away. When Frank finally stopped struggling Gerard placed a rough kiss to his lips. "You really are a sick fucker." Frank stated.

Gerard winked "And you love it."

-

Unfortunately, the very second they arrived at their next destination Frank was sent straight over to staging. Although he loved his job with a passion, doing it in this kind of heat was not desirable, to say the least, and if Frank saw one more fat man ass crack he himself would crack.

An hour or so later he got his paws on the list which indicated what roadie would be working on what band's set, and right next to his name, My Chemical Romance.

"Yes!" He called, punching the air and turning a few heads, to which he quickly put down the list and scattered in to hiding.

MCR were fourth band on and by then the sun was cooling just a little. The crowd of kids were sweaty and tired but still burst out just as much energy as the band showed. Frank watched from the side of the stage, one of Ray's guitars in hand, readily tuned for the next song.

As Ray rushed to the side, quickly swapping guitars, Frank caught Gerard's gaze. The singer smirked, winked, and put the mic to his mouth.

"I want you mother fuckers to do something for me." The crowd screamed. "I'm gonna go, WHO'S YOUR DADDY, and I think you know what to do after that. So let's try it." He glanced back to Frank before screaming "WHO'S YOUR DADDY?!"
To which the crowd immediately screamed back "YOU ARE BABY!"
"I fucking said, who's your daddy?!"

"YOU ARE BABY!"

"You got that damn right."

-

Frank was busy for the rest of the day; a few roadies got taken down with sun stroke, so he had to fill in on quite a few spots. The sun was cooler and a nice breeze made the day a little easier to get through. By the end of it he was glad to clamber in to the bus and collapse on the couch.

"Rough day kid?" Hollie asked from the opposite couch.

"Yeah." Frank sighed. "Stupid sun." There came a knock on the bus door and Frank whined. "You get that."

"What did your last slave die of?" She glared.

"Not getting the door." He stated simply.

She huffed and heaved herself from the couch, covering the two meters to the door in record slow time. She immediately grinned when she pulled it back, revealing the smiling singer.

"Hello Gerard." She beamed.

"Hey." He smiled back.

"What might I do you for?"

"Might I steal our hard little worker away?"

She pondered for a moment, and then nodded. "Yes you might." And turned to the half passed out man on the couch "Oh Romeo, it's for you." She sang.

-

Frank was surprised to find that their next date was to entail a pick up truck Gerard had borrowed from a local roadie, even more surprised to find the back of it filled with blankets and a small picnic.

"Thought you could use some time to relax, you've been working pretty hard all day." Gerard explained, opening the passenger door for Frank.

The younger man didn't know whether to blush or 'Aww' till he could 'Aww' no more. He settled for kissing Gerard's cheek and getting in to the car without another word.

Yeah, that was thanks enough.

-

"Wow, I mean, wow." Gerard stated, his eyes glued to the sky. "I can see why you star gaze, it's fucking beautiful."

Frank smiled lightly and nodded. They were lay in the back of the truck on the blankets gazing up at the sky which was littered with stars, much like a few nights before.

"I feel like we're in Wayne's world." Frank suddenly giggled, which caused Gerard too to laugh.

"Should I say something about finding Bugs Bunny attractive in drag while you talk about hot bass players, if you really feel that about my little brother?"

"Do you really feel that, about Bugs?"

Gerard sighed "Sometimes." The two burst out in to more fits of giggles. "And about my brother?"

"Nah, he's cute and all but, I prefer singers." They both smiled. "Besides, Hollie would so maul my face off if I ever did try anything with Mikey."

-

"Thank you." Frank whispered, turning on his side as Gerard turned his head to glance at him. "For doing this I mean, thanks. It's really sweet."

Gerard smiled softly as Frank towered over him, the younger moving closer with each passing second. "No problem." He replied, pulling him in to a deep kiss which was all tongue and lips and sloppy noises and whimpers and groans and-

-

"Oh god Gerard." Frank moaned as Gerard slipped in to him, the pads of his feet pressed against the singer's ass cheeks.

The clothes had been removed somewhere within the kiss with frantic hands and nimble fingers, strewed across the back of the pick up as blankets took the place of the lost material.

The pace was lazy and erratic, calm and frenzied. Frank's hands never left Gerard's skin or hair to keep the other as close as possible; although it was obvious he wasn't going anywhere.

"Frankie," Gerard whispered in to his ear, breath tickling the shell "Fuck, Frankie." He groaned, snapping his hips forward in quick succession as a short burst of quick energy shot through him.

Frank dragged his stubby fingernails down Gerard's back, causing the singer to moan and shudder. Running his hands to the hair on the nape of his neck, Frank pulled softly, remembering the newly found kink. Gerard growled in the back of his throat and leaned down to capture Frank's mouth in a heated kiss, his hips moving a little slower as he concentrated on the kiss.

Taking things in to his own hands Frank gripped Gerard's hips mid-thrust and pulled him down quicker, the surprise taking on a new angle right against Frank's prostate.

"Gerard!" Frank cried, so loud it was possible everyone back at the site heard, but he didn't care. "There, right there." He moaned, and Gerard was more than happy to comply.

The younger man shook and tightened around the singer, causing his eyes to roll back a little "Fuck, Frank, that's so fucking, good – Frank!"

It was getting colder, despite it being summer, and their pants and moans were becoming quickly visible as Gerard shivered from the cold. Frank pulled the blanket, which had fallen to his middle, up to his shoulders and rubbed it over the skin as Gerard tried his best to keep moving.

The extra heat worked, and Frank's effort's paid off as Gerard's hips snapped forward rapidly several times, each one hitting Frank where he craved it most.

"Gerard, I – God, I'm almost-" Frank staggered.

"Me too." The singer replied, his face buried in Frank's neck. He was so close it almost hurt.

They both came with a moan of the other's name and a shudder, the mess seeping down on to the blanket below. They panted together, Gerard's face still pressed in to Frank's neck, for a good minute or so before finally moving.

Frank ran his fingers lazily through Gerard's hair for a few moments before cocking his head to the side and stating "I don't remember seeing that in Wayne's world."

Gerard laughed. "It was on the deleted scenes."

-

Unfortunately, Frank wasn't on MCR's set the next day. He was on the band just before though, and made sure to spend longer than usual packing away guitars so he could catch them walking to the stage.

"Hey you." Frank turned from the guitar case to see the beaming smile.

"Hey," He replied with his own sly grin. "Ready for the show?"

Gerard nodded "Yeah. You gonna watch the show?"

"Gonna go help Hollie, so yeah I'll be watching."

"Great." He beamed again.

-

Frank was now sure that he would never ever get bored of watching that band play, ever. He'd never get bored of Gerard shaking his hips in such an overly camp way, picking up feather boas and wrapping them around his waist.

God that waist feels so good between my thighs.

Frank had thought it before he could even think about stopping himself, and at that moment he was glad he wasn't among mind readers. He hoped.

As he was bringing himself out of his own little dream word he noticed somebody else deep within one. Hollie stood, her head cocked to the side, eyes glued to a certain bassist and index finger resting on a fader. As she let out a dreamy sigh her finger began to slip further up the channel gradually, until the bass became the loudest instrument on stage.

The rest of the band glanced to Mikey, who looked down at his bass in shock. Frank quickly fought Hollie's hand from the channel and brought the thudding bass back down to a manageable level, and then proceeded in giggling manically as Hollie blushed and slapped him across the back of the head.

-

What's the best way to get rid of some of that unused energy from a fucking awesome show on stage? Why blowing somebody behind the catering truck, of course.

"Oh fuck Gerard!" Frank's moan was muffled as he bit down on his forearm trying to silence himself as much as possible. Although that was appearing to be pretty impossible with Gerard's lips wrapped around his cock in such a beautiful way. He'd managed to keep quiet so far, but as Gerard moaned on to him well, some things just needed to be voiced. "Gerard, fucking hell, I'm gonna-" And just like the previous night, he never got chance to finish his sentence as Gerard sucked his orgasm from him.

Slinking back up Frank's body Gerard crashed their lips together giving Frank an intriguing taste of himself.

-

"Hey." Hollie spun round from the desk to see her visitor. Mikey shyly slipped in to the sound area.

"Hi" She replied, trying her best to contain a blush. "Great show."

"Thanks. Except for that thing with my bass." He smiled.

She laughed "Yeah, sorry about that."

The bassist shuffled a little closer "Oh, I suppose I can forgive you." And he looked up, their eyes locking instantly.

Without another word he took the last few steps forward and pressed his lips carefully to hers. They stayed still for a moment, and after he was fully sure she wasn't going to run away his delicate fingers found the back of her neck where he pulled her face closer still. Their lips began to move ever to slightly, jigsawing perfectly as he took her bottom lip between his, running his tongue across shyly before they separated again.

He looked down at her, blushing and smiling awkwardly as her warm breath began to steam up his glasses. "I just, um wanted to do that." He announced and then pulled away and walked from the sound area.

Staring after the bassist with her jaw once again cemented to the floor Hollie finally snapped from her daze to squeal with delight and trip over the leg of her stool.

-

"I have something to tell you!" Both Hollie and Frank announced at the same time as they crossed paths in the bunk area. "Tell me!"

"Gerard and I slept together."

"Mikey kissed me!"

"God, finally!"

The two stopped to stare at each other oddly.

"We spend way too much time together." Frank stated, walking to the bathroom.

"Yup." She agreed, walking in the opposite direction.

-

Three weeks later the tour was two weeks away from ending. They had covered a lot of America, and played in places Frank could barely pronounce, if not at all. The sun had gotten hotter and seemed to beat down upon each band cruelly every show, as well as the roadies and tech crew.

Hollie and Mikey had progressed in to something more than just stolen kisses after shows and it was now apparent to most that the two were a fully blown couple. They held hands everywhere they went, not caring who was stood before them, stopping the most important conversations abruptly for a peck on the cheek or lips whenever the urge took them.

Frank and Gerard however were not so open to public displays of affection, or at least Gerard wasn't. Frank had once tried to hold Gerard's hand whilst they were walking to his bus during the day after their set and Gerard simply squeezed Frank's hand once and then let go, walking on quicker without so much as an apologetic glance back.

Frank had been hurt at first, and refused to do what they originally intended to do once they got in to the empty tour bus. Instead he sat on one of the couches and sulked, not looking Gerard in the eyes for a good five minutes.

"Sweetie," Gerard began softly "Are you going to pout all afternoon?"

"Maybe." The other answered shortly, folding his arms across his chest, stiff refusing to make eye contact with the other.

He sighed. "I'm sorry Frankie; it's just that some people don't know I'm gay yet." He tried to explain.

"Are these people blind?" Frank shot back, flickering his gaze to Gerard's for a moment or so with a sarcastic smirk.

"Oh ha ha." Gerard retaliated with an equal amount of sarcasm. He stopped for a moment and then sighed. Sitting down next to Frank he pulled the younger man's hands in to his lap to cup them with his own. "I am sorry, but I'm just not ready to tell. And it's not easy for me not being able to hold your hand and kiss you whenever I want, because when I see you that's all I want to do."

Frank's stern expression began to crumble as a sweet little smile broke through. He separated his fingers, allowing Gerard's to slip between so they tangled together.

"Really?" He asked.

Gerard grinned exposing his small teeth (Frank loved his teeth) and softly began to hum. "Why do birds suddenly appear, every time you are near?" Frank let out an airy laugh and Gerard pulled him closer, wrapping his arms around him securely as he continued to sing in to his hair. "Just like me, they long to be, close to you." Frank made a small noise of contentment and nuzzled in to the crook of Gerard's neck. "Laa, la la la laa, close to you."

-

Frank let the 'no affection in public' thing drop, he even got used to it and learned to keep his distance. That was, until he came along.

-

"Frankie! Come meet my new friend." Gerard announced proudly.

Frank plodded over from the sound desk he'd been working at to the small area just behind the stage near the water table. Gerard stood with a taller man, his hear black and greasy, sort of how Gerard used to look only a lot skinnier.

"Hi!" The other greeted his smile big and cheesy.

Frank nodded a hello. "This is Bert," Gerard introduced. "He and his band just got on to the line up."

"Ohh," Frank mumbled. "Cool."

"Frank's a kick ass tech." Gerard explained to Bert, before turning to Frank. "We're gonna hang on the bus after the show later, wanna come?"

Frank looked Bert up and down. "Sorry, I promised Hollie I'd go over some stuff with her." He lied. "Maybe some other time?"

Gerard nodded before being tugged away by Bert to go talk to the rest of his band. Frank stared on intently, boring holes in to the back of Bert's head. He didn't like him, one bit. There was something so, so - justnotright about him.

-

Local magazines came to every show of the tour to check out the new musical talent, take an interview or two and snap a few pictures here and there, some on stage but most off stage, trying to scoop up whatever gossip they could, and today was no exception.

The bands were scattered around the bus area, talking and laughing, doing bits of interviews and posing stupidly for pictures eager music journalists and fans took. Frank leant against the front of the roadie bus and watched, his eyes scanning the area but staying mostly near Gerard and his new friend.

They were way too chatty for his liking, always giggling and slinging their arms around each other's shoulders, pulling stupid faces and huge grins. This Bert was overly friendly, maybe it was just in his nature, but nobody else seemed to be getting the same attention.

As a woman shoved a camera in front of them for the millionth time Bert suddenly grabbed Gerard's face and placed a hard kiss on his lips, both men giggling as the crowd around them cheered. Frank didn't know what to do, he couldn't remember wanting to kill someone as much as he did right then. He could feel the blood boiling in his veins and it took everything he had not to go over there, grab the camera, and smash it over their heads.

Turning on his heel quickly he stormed in to the bus.

-

"Hey sugar, what ya- WHAT THE HELL?!" Gerard yelped, dodging a converse that suddenly came flying in his direction as he entered the roadie bus.

"You bastard!" Frank yelled - other shoe in hand. "You fucking bastard!"

"What did I do?" Gerard asked, eyes wide ready to duck again.

"You know damn well what you did! You and him! I saw you! I fucking saw you Gerard! You kissed him!"

Gerard held his hands up "Woah, Frank, it meant nothing, I swear!"

"That's not the point!" Frank screamed like some irate housewife, launching the other shoe which almost caught Gerard. "It was a kiss! A public display of fucking affection that we're not allowed to do because you're too fucking chicken shit to come out!"

"Frank! Would you just-"

"No, I will not just! Get out!" He grabbed his jacket and flung it at Gerard. Each time Gerard tried to protests, something else was thrown his way be it more shoes, pens, books, anything that was in the living area. "Get out! Get out!"

Finally, Gerard left.

-

"S'up Gerard, you look pretty down bud." Bert pouted from the open door of his tour bus as the other singer stood on the gravel looking down at his shoes. He glanced up with a sigh.

"Can I, um, can I hang out with you for a while?" He asked sheepishly.

"Sure, everything ok?"

"Yeah, just wanted to get away from shit for a while." He explained.

"Fall out with the band?" Bert asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Something like that." Gerard mumbled.

Bert grinned, big and cheesy "Aw okay, I'll get you cheered up. Quinn just got a shit load of beers in." He began to walk back in to the bus. He stopped on the first step and turned round. "You comin Gerard?"

Gerard looked intently at the little of the living area he could see. He could smell the beer already, almost taste it on the very tip of his tongue and suddenly, his mouth felt so dry and he was aware of how thirsty he was. That tangy taste of sweet nectar was vague in his memory and how he longed to renew it. Frank had been such an easy distraction from it, but with him not even close to ease temptation and satisfy other needs he was helpless, limp and broken in the jaws of an addiction.

"Gerard?" Bert called, his hand waving in front of his face. Gerard jolted a little and looked up.

"Yeah." He nodded. "Sure, I'm right behind you."

-

Frank awoke the next morning feeling a little foolish. Maybe he had over reacted, just a little. Maybe it was just a friendly kiss, playing up for the cameras and what not. Maybe he should find Gerard and apologize.

Rolling out of his bunk Frank crept past the still sleeping road crew and snuck in to the kitchen to steal a piece of toast, smothering it in chocolate spread and down a glass of fresh orange juice straight after. He sat at the small table in the kitchenette looking out of the window at the parking lot. It was bright out; the sky was a clear blue with not one wisp of a cloud in sight.

He smiled; feeling today was going to be a good day.

-

In a bus just across the lot Gerard woke as a strong beam of sunlight shone through the slit in the curtain. He groaned, bringing his hand to his face to block the unwanted light. As he rolled to the side he fell off the small living area couch with a thump groaning once more as he lay there in defeat.

The snores of several other men could be heard not too far away as he lay staring at the bus ceiling, hoping that maybe the ground would swallow him whole and take him back to the beginning of yesterday. He wanted out of this place, but still refused to move and accept this was real. He could still taste it; the tang he had craved so much was now like the taste of his demise, bitter and cruel. The bile was creeping up his throat slowly, burning his insides. He swallowed in hope to keep it down. He felt sick enough as it was just by thinking about what he'd done.

Gerard pulled himself up in to a sitting position slowly. His back had never felt so stiff and his head felt like a cannon ball on his string body as it swayed with the thudding in his skull. He knew he deserved this, all of this. It would teach him not to be so weak and not to crumble so easily under pressure brought on by himself. He thought he'd learned to silence those voices but now they were louder than ever.

Leaning his elbows on the small coffee table in front, Gerard let his heavy head rest in his hands and closed his eyes. Slowly, tears began to drip on to the polished black surface.

-

Frank came out of MCR's tour bus with a concerned look on his face. He had stepped in only moments before to find and empty living room and the bunks preoccupied by a snoring Bob and giggling Mikey and Hollie. He daren’t disturb any of them and so turned to exit with a defeated sigh.

"S'up punk?" Ray greeted as Frank stepped back on to the gravel.

"Hey Ray." Frank sighed in a dejected tone.

"You ok kid?" He asked, tilting his head to the side drawing Frank's gaze away from his shoes.

"Yeah. You haven't by any chance seen Gerard have you?"

Ray's eyes drifted up in thought for a moment or so, until finally snapping back to Frank "Oh, he went to go see Bert last night, maybe he's there."

Frank couldn't help but feel a tightening in his hands as his fingers yearned to clench in to fists at the mere mention of that man's name. He nodded a thank you to Ray and walked towards the tour bus at the far end of the lot, trying to calm himself down along the way, reminding himself he was there to apologize to Gerard and not start another argument.

-

The tour bus door swung open and the light flowed in to the dark living area. Gerard could see the outline of a figure and squinted to try and make out more than just the outline, holding his hand out to stop some of the light from gripping his tired hung over eyes.

Frank saw the man on the floor, eyes barely open, face pale and sick, and his body weak and tired. As the room adjusted to the light the evidence of just what Gerard had been up to the previous night came forward. The beer bottles, liqueur bottles, beer cans, empty glasses, past out band members around him. The one closest to Gerard at the other end of the table, him. Bert.

"Tell me you didn't." Frank whispered. Gerard just looked back down at the table. He couldn’t face this, that look in Frank's eyes, disappointment and disgust. He couldn't handle it. "Gerard," He said a little louder "Tell me you didn't, tell me!"

"I did." He replied quietly.

"W-what?" The other stuttered, Gerard could hear the teary sound in his voice as the word came out like a pathetic whimper.

"I did, ok?!" He near shouted, finally looking up and locking gaze with Frank. "I did! I did and I'm sorry ok, I'm fucking sorry!"

The tear were fat and free as they rolled down both men's cheeks. Frank bit his bottom lip in an attempt to keep them at bay