I Didn't Know I Was Related to You...

Going to an avenged concert was going to be hard without Jimmy being there but I knew in my heart that he would always be there watching. So just to see them I drove all the way to Houston, Texas from Huntington Beach, California. I couldn’t even imagine what they guys were going through with losing Jimmy but I could sympathize in a way. I mean I had lost my aunt/godmother about 4 years ago and even though it’s been a little bit longer it still hurt. I always tried to think of ways that it could have been prevented but I knew that nothing could have stopped what happened because everything happens for a reason. Then maybe a year ago I lost my grandfather and that pain was still fresh. It hurt to know that I would never see his face again or hear him sing me happy birthday; he loved birthdays and even though his mind was going and he had to be reminded of who I was I still loved him no matter what. But I knew that they were both in a better place and watched over me just like Jimmy watched over the guys. So anyway even though it was going to be hard I was still going and I was going to be early because I knew it was going to get crazy and I wanted to get a good parking spot so that it would make getting out of here easier. I knew that they show didn’t start for another 2 hours but I headed for the entrance anyway. The guard at the door asked to see my ticket which I showed him and then he told me that since I was early that I would be getting a backstage pass. I smiled and thanked him taking the pass and putting it around my neck and allowing another guard to lead me through the building towards the room the guys would be in. About halfway there he dropped me off with 2 guys that I assumed were the Berry twins- Matt and Jason.
“Hey I’m Jason and this is Matt” the one on the right said pointing to the one on the left
“Nice to meet you both I’m Cameron or Cam whichever I don’t mind” I said shaking both of their hands
“So you ready to meet the guys?” Jason asked
“Yeah” I said putting a small smile on my face
“Cool follow us!” Matt said as they both grabbed one of my hands and started running. There were a couple of close calls with some corners but we eventually stopped in front of a door that said A7X on the outside.
“You ready?” They asked in unison which as a little bit creepy…
“Sure?” I said unsure of what I was getting into. They went to knock on the door with their available hands but before they could we heard the guys talking inside.
-Convo-
“Guys do you think were ready for this?” someone that sounded like Johnny asked
“I don’t know I’m questioning that myself” I’m assuming Matt said
“Yeah but it’s not like we can just bail out on this” Brian? Said
“What are we going to do?” Zacky? Said
Then there was silence. Jason, matt and I all gave each other the same look. They didn’t think that they were ready to do this without Jimmy. They didn’t want to let the fans down but they didn’t want to go on unsure of themselves. I knew they were ready they just needed to be reassured of that fact so after the initial shock wore off I signaled for Jason to knock on the door. Then a muffled come in came from the other side of the door. Matt then slowly opened the door pushing it lightly to let it swing open. Inside sitting on the couch were Matt and Brian; Johnny and Zacky were sitting in chairs on either side of the room.
“Hey guys who’s this?” Matt asked looking at the three of us
“Uh guys meet Cameron…uh she got here early so she was given a backstage pass” Jason said
“It’s nice to meet you all” I said locking eyes with matt this weird unspoken connection flowing between us.
Neither of us spoke we just stared at each other out eyes filling up because we both knew that the other knew what the other was going through. Then he surprised me and everyone else by suddenly standing up and pulling me into him. His huge arms wrapped around my tiny frame while mine slowly made their way around his waist. He started crying into my hair completely breaking down. I sympathized because I knew what it was like to lose someone who you thought was invincible and would never leave you. I knew it wasn’t easy to accept or get over. It ate at you everyday making you feel like the walls were closing in and that life as you knew it was over. He held onto me like I was his lifeline until someone else walked into the room clearing their throat causing us to pull apart. We let go and looked towards the door. There stood a rather angry looking Valery.
“What the fuck is going on here? And who is she?” She asked looking at each of the guys in turn
“I think there’s been a misunderstanding here? I said speaking through the almost visible tension
“I didn’t ask you to speak!” She yelled “Now I want to know what is going on here!”
“Look Val nothing was happened. This is Cameron she’s a fan and she just so happened to acquire a backstage pass. Now as for the whole emotional moment that matt was sharing with her I’m not so sure of that myself but it really shouldn’t matter because if you trusted matt at all you wouldn’t be questioning him” Brian said
-Silence ensued-
“You know what I’m unwelcome … I should just go. I don’t want to cause any problems” I said picking up my purse and trying to get to the door but matt held me back holding onto my wrist. He pulled me back and handed me over to Brian who put an arm around me shoulders.
“You don’t have to go anywhere” Brian whispered in my ear
“I’m so sorry Cameron let me take of this. I’ll be right back guys” Matt said trying to make his way to the door
“I’m not going anywhere! I’m talking about his right here! And I agree with her she is unwelcome and she needs to leave” Val said glaring my way. Geez she didn’t even know me and she already hated me.
“Val your making a scene and she doesn’t have to go anywhere just because you said so” Matt managed to say calmly which was an accomplishment for him.
She just stared at him shocked. Silence took over the room momentarily until Val’s sister Michelle came in.
“I heard yelling. What’s going on?” She asked looking around the room
That’s when Val tried to spin some stupid sob story that was all in her favor and make each of us look like the bad guys. Michelle just stood there and listened and watched as her sister tried to turn on fake tears.
“That was quite the story Val. My favorite part had to be the fake tears. Bravo I think I hear Hollywood calling your name” Michelle said without sympathy
Val just looked at her astonished that Michelle, her own sister and twin, hadn’t taken her side.
“Don’t look so shocked Val your story was more unbelievable then a hooker swearing up and down that she’s clean and that she wasn’t the one who gave you herpes. You want to know what gave you away? Well I’ll tell you; you accused matt of cheating and lying…again… two things that I know matt isn’t capable of doing. So you know what I’m going to do next? I’m going to hand you a plane ticket back to California where you can stay with mom until we get back in a few weeks. Then we’ll pack your things and you can go live with that guy that I know you’ve been seeing on the side. I hope it was all worth it for you” Michelle said pulling said ticket out of her purse
“Whatever you’re lying because you’re jealous of me” Val said
“Me jealous of you? Honey I am you were twins remember so just take the ticket and please leave. Oh and here’s some money for the cab fair to the airport” Michelle said handing her both the ticket and the money.
“I can’t believe that you’re doing this to me your own sister” Val said again trying to cry
“Well you should have seen this coming then and by the way I changed the locks on Matt’s house so your key won’t be working just in case you were planning on going there.” Michelle said “So you can leave now” she continued gesturing her hand towards the door
Val just stood there looking on in disbelief wondering how this day had gone so wrong for her. There was a very tangible silence that hung over the room.
“So… you have a key for me right?” Matt asked breaking the silence
“Yes Matthew and I will personally put it on your key ring so that you don’t lose it like you did before and then that psycho fan found it and stalked you from inside your own house for few weeks” Michelle said
“Hey I didn’t lose it; it was on there and when it went to use it again it was gone” Matt said
“I think that counts as losing it Matthew dearest” Michelle said smiling sweetly at him
“Oh whatever I’m still convinced that someone took it off but anyway Val you can leave now” Matt said
“But Matt… I love you” She said again trying with the fake tears. Wow this girl is pathetic.
“No you love my bank account” Matt said “Now leave”
“Yea leave Val before you make yourself look any more pathetic then you do now” Zacky said speaking for the first time since I arrived here
She glared at everyone in the room especially me before storming out. Everyone kinda breathed a sigh of relief.
“Well…that went well” Johnny said making everyone laugh lightning the mood a little bit
“So…the show starts in about an hour…are you guys ready for this” MB asked
Jason and I gave him the same look and Jason pulled him from the room mumbling that they needed to set everything up for tonight.
“That’s the million dollar question of the night” Zacky said sitting down. We all followed. I sat between Matt and Brian. Michelle sat on Brian’s other side and Johnny again sat in the other chair that wasn’t occupied.
“I think you guys are ready your just second guessing yourselves because this is the first tour without Jimmy and it’s hard and your hearts aren’t fully into it but you know that if you held back that you would not only disappoint your fans but you would disappoint yourselves. I mean I know it’s hard because he’s gone but he will always be in your hearts no matter what. He watches over you guys each and every day. I’m not going to lie to you and say that it’s easy to get over and that you should just move on already because it’s not. I would know I lost my best friend too. Her name was Piper and we had been friends since kindergarten. She was my rock when things got hard even though I knew that she had a so much harder life then me. I lost her to a car accident but not right away. She was taken to the hospital but she fell into a coma and when days turned to weeks and weeks turned to months I knew that she wasn’t coming back to me. I had lost her so I had to make that big decision to pull her off of life support because I was all she had. She left me everything because unbeknownst to me she had made a will via DVD. She explained that she knew she would die young and that she loved me and that she would always be in my heart. It was the worst thing I had to go through because even though I knew she lived life to the fullest and that she was a fighter this was one fight that she wasn’t coming back from. I shared an apartment with her so that first year was hell. I imagine that it was like that for you when Jimmy passed. You all found it unbelievable right? You thought it was some sick joke at first? And then afterwards you all sat around and blamed yourselves and thought of ways it could have been prevented?”
“Well yeah and it was hard cause I would be lying if I said it was easy. Jimmy was more than just another best friend he was our brother. It was like losing apart of ourselves when we lost him. I know that I didn’t eat or sleep for days. I actually began to believe that I had insomnia because every time I would close my eyes I would start to think that what if I couldn’t open them again? Or what if I didn’t wake up in the morning? It would plague my dreams turning them into nightmares where I was always trapped with no way out and no one could hear me scream” all this coming from Johnny which was surprising to say the least. I mean we all knew that Johnny was Jimmy’s second favorite person on the planet under of course Leana. He even came before Brian and that was surprising because Jimmy loved Brian…in a friendly way of course.
“I know that feeling. I wondered that too. I mean after piper died I had a million what if’s running through my head like what if I had been with her that night could I have saved her? What if I hadn’t called her would she still be alive? What if I hadn’t put my stupid problems first would she have still gotten in that accident? I felt responsible for a long time for her death. I always wondered what it would be like to die you know like would I feel the pain or would it be like going to sleep only easier. But I knew that it wouldn’t solve anything if I were gone too and I knew that she wouldn’t want me to shut myself off from everyone so I slowly moved on and got past it but I will never forget it or her” I said to him trying to ease some of his pain. I knew that if you understood what others were going through yourself then it made it seem like you weren’t all alone.
“You know she’s right. We need to go out there and do this for Jimmy because he would have done the same thing in our place if it were one of us instead of him” Johnny said
“So hands in guys and Michelle” I said leaning forward ‘come on I know it’s cheesy but just do it’ they laughed but did it to. ‘Okay so on three…one…two…three….JIMMY!’ We all yelled lifting our hands up
Maybe coming here wasn’t going to be so bad after all. That’s when I woke up….