Sweetheart, Just Be Real

I sat in history staring at the clock, wishing it would move slower. I knew that as soon as I stepped out the door, I would come face to face with John.

I can't stop thinking about him trying to kiss me last night. I have to keep reminding myself that love is bad. John will only break my heart.

BRIIIIING

My stomach flipped and I slowly got up from my seat. I carefully placed my binder and folder in my backpack, taking my sweet time. Finally I walked to the door and found John leaning against the frame.

"Ready?" He asked quietly, almost sadly.

I just nodded and we started off to class.

"So..." He spoke up. "Are you excited to do more poems today?"

I nodded again and smiled a bit.

"I know you love poetry." He stated shyly while shoving a hand in his pocket as the other one held his backpack strap over his shoulder.

"How did you know?" I asked with a perplexed expression.

"You have poetry books all over your room. And you're always quoting them." He shrugged.

How did he notice all of these things about me?

We arrived at our classroom and took a seat at our desks.

The bell rang and our teacher stood up from his desk.

"More poems today and a quiz tomorrow." Mr. Shafer announced as he handed out the poems.

"Oh I've read this one before!" I cheered as I spotted a poem by Catullus V.

Vivamus, mea Lesbia, atque amemus,
rumoresque senum severiorum
omnes unius aestimemus assis!
soles occidere et redire possunt:
nobis cum semel occidit brevis lux,
nox est perpetua una dormienda.
da mi basia mille, deinde centum,
dein mille altera, dein secunda centum,
deinde usque altera mille, deinde centum.
dein, cum milia multa fecerimus,
conturbabimus illa, ne sciamus,
aut ne quis malus invidere possit,
cum tantum sciat esse basiorum.

"Seriously? When?" John chuckled from next to me.

"I found an old Latin poetry book at a second hand book store awhile ago. I lost it though." I sighed.

"That sucks. What was it called?" He asked.

"I think it was something like 'Heroes In Latin Poetry'" I said.

"Can I translate it?" He asked.

"The poem? Yeah." I smiled.

He grinned and scooted closer to me as he read.

"Let us live, my Lesbia, let us love,
and all the talk of the stern old men,
may it be worth a penny.
Suns may set, and suns may rise again:
but when our brief light has set,
night is one long everlasting sleep.
Give me a thousand kisses, then a hundred,
then another thousand, and then another hundred,
and, when we've counted up the many thousands,
let us confuse them so as not to know them all,
so that no enemy may cast an evil eye,
when he finds out that there were so many kisses." he read.

"That was perfect, John. Word for word." I grinned.

He smiled shyly. "Thanks."

"I'm, um, sorry about last night. For freaking out at you. Thanks for bringing back my purse." I said softly.

"No problem. I'm sorry for...you know." He apologized.

"It's okay." I shrugged.

There was a weird silence between us for a moment.

"Are you still coming over on Friday for our movie party?" He asked hopefully.

"Of course. I wouldn't miss it for the world." I smiled.

In a bold move, he lifted his hand onto the desk and placed it on top of mine. Slowly, he laced his fingers with mine and looked up to see my reaction.

My cheeks were bright red and my heart was beating fast.

But...I liked it.

"What movies do you want to watch?" He asked with a big smile as he glanced down at our interlocking fingers.

"Um, I-I don't know." I stuttered stupidly.

Oh no, I was getting nervous which meant sweaty palms. He's gonna get so grossed out if I don't pull away soon.

"It's A Wonderful Life, Elf, and A Christmas Story?" He asked.

I smiled at him and suddenly didn't feel so nervous.

"What about Rudolph too?" I asked.

"Yeah, sounds awesome. I'm just warning you though, Chad and Seth and going to be back from college." He said, referring to his two older brothers.

"That's fine. They're not that annoying." I joked.

"Ha, yeah they are." He chuckled. "I was thinking that maybe after we-"

Oh no. Not a date. Please don't ask me out.

BRIIIIIIIING

I shot up out of my seat and gently tugged my hand away from Johns. I gathered my worksheets and books and shoved them all into my backpack.

"Hey, will you come over and help me study for the quiz?" John asked.

"I have plans tonight. Sorry." I said in a hurry.

"Do you really or are you just blowing me off?" He asked in a forceful voice.

I looked up at him and with a hurt expression. He knew that I always went out to dinner with my mom on Tuesdays and now he's accusing me of being a liar.

"You know I'm busy." I shot back before leaving the room, not waiting for John.

The end of the day finally came and walked to my locker to collect my books. I did the combination and as soon as I opened it a note fell out.

Kimmy,
I'm sorry.
-John

I sighed and shoved it in my backpack before gathering everything else I needed for the night.

As soon as I was done, I shut my locker and walked out of the building.

I got in my car and took off towards my destination. When I reached it, I walked inside to be greeted by a blast of cool air.

I walked up to the hostess' stand and smiled.

"Hey Kimmy. I'll go get your mom." The girl I remembered as Sam said before she walked through the restaurant to find my mother.

"Hey Kimmy. Ready?" My mom greeted as she walked up to me.

"Yep." I nodded as I followed her out the door.

I took a seat in the passenger side and crossed my legs. This was the only weekday that I had with my mom. She worked three jobs just to support Eric and I.

"So, what's new?" She asked.

"Um, not much." I shrugged.

"Anything?"

"Well, there's this guy..." I trailed off.

"A guy? Who is it?" She asked excitedly as we drove to our favorite dinner spot.

"John. We've been spending more time together, I guess."

"Oh? What'd you do?" She asked.

"Well we were at a party on Friday and he walked me home, then yesterday he picked me up for dinner with his parents and we studied then he took me out for ice cream." I explained.

"Is that it?" She asked.

"Well...no. After he dropped me off at home I took a shower and when I came back he was in my room because I left my bag in his car and...he tried to kiss me."

"He better not have seen you naked!" She warned half jokingly.

"No, I was wearing a towel." I retorted.

"Well, I'd say that he likes you." She stated with a smile on her thin lips.

I looked out the window and didn't say anything.

"Don't you think so?" She asked.

"It's John." I shrugged. "I don't know."

"Do you like him?" She asked.

"No." I said quickly.

"Why not? He's nice and cute and his parents adore you." She brought up.

"I just...don't see the point. We'd break up anyway." I told her.

"Oh, I didn't know you could see into the future." She said sarcastically.

"Well it's true! We would. He has so many girls fawning over him." I said.

"Does he take those girls out for ice cream? Does he ask those girls to help him study?"

"How did you know he asked me to help him study?" I asked.

"Well you wouldn't go over there by yourself, would you?"

I just stayed silent, letting her know that she was correct.

"I think he wants to ask me out." I said quietly.

"And what would you say if he did?" She asked.

"I don't know. I mean, I really like spending time with him and he's so nice and sweet and funny, but I just...don't want to get hurt." I confessed.

"Tell me something Kimmy. Are you happy with your life right now? Like 100% content?" She asked.

"Well...no."

"This is something I wouldn't normally tell a teenage girl, but maybe he could make you happy. You should give him a chance." She advised.

"But it won't last! We'll end up heartbroken and our friendship will be over." I countered.

"You don't know that. You might end up falling in love and getting married someday. Sure, every relationship will have it's rough patches but if it's meant to be you'll find a way." She exclaimed before getting quiet and talking again. "I don't want you to think that love doesn't last because of what happened with me and your dad."

Tears sprung into my eyes and my voice came out quieter.

"What am I supposed to think? Everything was perfect and then one day he just left."

"Honey, everything wasn't perfect. We just hid it well. Your grandma pressured me into marrying him when I got pregnant with Eric and he changed. You remember how he would come home late or not at all? He became a different person and that's why things didn't work out." She explained.

"But you loved him and he changed. What if that happens with John?" I asked.

"I don't regret marrying your dad because now I never have to wonder what if. But if you never try, you'll never know what could have been."

"Why are you telling me this about John? Why not other guys?" I asked.

"Because you don't get that twinkle in your eye when you talk about other guys." She smiled.

"I'm just scared." I admitted.

"You have to face your fears sometime, sweetie and John is a nice boy. He really cares about you." She said as she parked outside the diner.

"I guess." I sighed.

We walked into the diner and ordered our favorite meals and discussed the upcoming holiday. What our plans were, what we wanted for Christmas, Erics new girlfriend. I was lucky enough to honestly say that my mother was one of my best friends.

Once we finished dinner and got back in the car I reached to turn the radio down and spoke softly.

"Mom?" I asked.

"Yeah?"

"Could you maybe...drop me off at Johns house?" I asked.

A smile spread across her face.

"Of course!" She nodded.

I just sat back in my seat as she drove.

When we arrived to his house I unbuckled my seatbelt and opened the door.

"Thanks mom. I'll just get a ride home when we're done." I told her.

"Okay, have fun, honey. Love you." She said giving me a knowing grin.

"Love you too." I laughed.

I walked up to his door and rang the doorbell.

After waiting awkwardly for a moment, I was greeted by John.

"Kimmy?" He asked with a smile, as if he wasn't sure if I was in fact really on his doorstep.

"Yep. You better be ready for a hardcore study session." I smirked.

"So that's what they're calling it these days..." A voice boomed from behind John.

Chad O'Callaghan.

"Hey Chad." I said, trying my best to sound excited to see the middle O'Callaghan, but failing.

"Kimmy!" He exclaimed, before pushing John aside and crushing me in an uncomfortable hug.

It was a mystery to me how him and John were related.

He finally let go of me and John quickly tugged on my hand.

"Well, we have to go study now." He announced whilst rolling his eyes at his older brother. As we started up the stairs for Johns room, he didn't let go of my hand.

"Use protection." Chad shouted to us.

I scoffed so that only John could hear. Once we reached his room, he immediately apologized.

"I'm sorry about him. He's a dick." He said as he closed the door.

"It's okay. I just don't get how you two could be related." I chuckled as I set my books down and stood to face him.

"Me either." He sighed.

"Is Seth back already too?" I asked.

"Nah, Chad got here like an hour ago but I don't think Seth's coming in until tomorrow." He replied.

"Between you and me," I started as I leaned in. "I like Seth better than Chad."

He laughed and walked closer to me until we were almost touching.

"Between you and me," he whispered softly. "I like you better than Eric."

I giggled and looked away. He brought his hand up to my face and brushed my hair away while his other hand rested on my waist. Suddenly, he used to his thumb and forefinger to tilt my chin up. My eyes went wide and he leaned in.

"Mom said- whoa..." Chad smirked as he stood in the doorway.

I pulled away suddenly and my face got bright red.

"Looks like never been kissed finally broke her curse." He laughed.

"What?" I asked.

"Chad, get out." John yelled.

"Calm down, bro. Nice work. We'll chat later about what else you've done." He said with a wink.

"W-what did he mean by that?" I stuttered as my lips jutted out. This only happened when I was on the verge of crying.

"Kimmy," He sighed as he took a seat on his bed. "Just don't worry about it."

"Tell me." I asked in a whisper as my voice cracked.

"Come here." He said, patting the spot next to him. "At school... They, um, that's what some people call you."

"I d-dont care what they think." I sniffled as a tear fell.

"You shouldn't." He said as he wrapped his arms around me. "They don't know how amazing you are. All those girls are just jealous that you're so beautiful."

"No they're not. They think I'm weird." I sniffled quietly.

"Who cares what they think? I think you're better than all of them. No, I don't think that. I know that." He stated surely. I relaxed as I felt his thumbs rubbing circles in my skin.

"You're out of my league.