Got to Be What Tomorrow Needs

Sing about everyone that you left behind

~~~~~~~

“OH MY FUCKING GOD I KNEW IT!!!!”

Poison and I jumped apart from each other. Or rather he jumped away from me and I shot up into a sitting position.

We both looked over at the door to my room to see it wide open. Lavender was standing in the doorway staring at us wide eyed and open mouthed. Behind her was Ghoul with a similar expression on his face.

“…um…knock much?”

“Um…I did”

“What?”

“I knocked didn’t I Ghoul?”

“I do believe so”

“Well there we go”

“Why did you even come to my room? You rarely do”

“It’s almost 5pm. You’ve been in here forever”

Poison stood up and brushed off his jeans.

“Where’s Jet and Kobra?”

“They went out for a general overlook of the area. Make sure everything’s still clear. They should be back soon”

“Okay”

“Yeah and when they get back I am SO telling them about you two!”

“Not if you want to die a slow and painful death”

Ghoul looked over at me to see me giving him my death glare.

He quickly looked away and back over to Poison.

Lavender bounded into the room and attacked me knocking me back onto the floor.

“Soooooo how long has this been going on?”

“Since right before you barged in”

“Aw man I thought it was longer!”

“How long were you thinking?”

“Like…since we got back from getting their car. You two have SO been flirting with each other the entire time”

“HAVE NOT!”

Poison just looked at me questionably then walked out of my room followed closely by Ghoul who I could hear was starting to ask a million and one questions.

Lavender watched them walk away then turned her attention back to me.

“Spill and leave NO detail out!”

I groaned and reluctantly told her everything that had happened so far that day.

By the end Lavender was squealing in joy and hugging me tightly.

“I knew you liked him!”

“Lav”

“And you told him your name!”

“Lav”

“And you two kissed!”

“Lav”

“I’m so happy for you two!”

“LAVENDER!”

Lavender sat back and looked at me.

“Yes?”

“Nothing’s happening between us”

Lavender’s jaw dropped to the ground.

“WHAT!?”

I scooted away from Lavender.

“It wouldn’t end well. Not with how I’m marked for death. Nothing good would come of it”

“But…you like him”

I looked away from Lavender and stood up walking over to my stereo and turning it off.

“It doesn’t matter”

I heard Lavender stand up and shut the door to my room.

“What are you talking about? Why wouldn’t you liking him matter?”

“I never said I liked him”

“You never said you didn’t”

“Whoever I get close to ends up dead or close to it”

“I’m still here”

“Yeah because I brought you back to life when we were little and you’ve barely left my sight.”

“But I’m still here”

“What are you getting at Kai?”

“Not everyone you get close to ends up dead or close to it”

“My parents did, my older brother, all my friends, my family…my fiancé…”

“Hope…”

I turned around and looked at Lavender.

“No. I’m not going to put him or his friends into anymore danger than they already are. They have a death sentence over their heads for being head Killjoys anyway. Being with me will only increase it. It’ll be harder for them to do anything the longer they’re with us. And I won’t let them us him to get to me. I won’t let them take down anyone else because of me”

“Hope…I know what happened with Trent scared you off from getting close to any guys again. But it wasn’t you’re fault.”

“Yes it was Kai…he was killed, because he was helping me and didn’t head my warning about going where he went that night. He knew it was dangerous and he went anyway. And they knew who he was and they took him and used him against me…but they killed him before I could get to him…”

Lavender just looked at me before she stepped forward and gave me a hug.

I just hugged her back and before I knew it I was crying.

Lavender led me to my bed where I laid down and cried remembering how it felt to show up where he was being held captive. Only he was already dead. He was lifeless and I hadn’t been able to save him.

That was a year ago.

And not a day goes by that I don’t think about him and all that he went through for me.

I didn’t know if I could do that to Gerard.

I didn’t want him to go the same way as Trent did.

The same way the man I loved went.

~~~~ Later ~~~~

I eventually passed out from crying so much and it was a while later that I heard the door open and close. I felt Lavender get up and talk quietly with someone…I think it was Ghoul.

I heard the door open once more and people walking in and out. My door shut not long after that and whoever it was walked closer to me.

I opened my eyes a little bit to see that it was Gerard. I quickly closed them.

He knelt down next to my bed and put a hand over one of my own. He leaned over and kissed my temple. His thumb caressed the back of my hand before he let go and stood up suddenly. I heard him kick off his shoes and he climbed over me to where there was space on my bed. He lay down along my back and I felt an arm wrap around my waist and pull me back against his chest.

He gently kissed my shoulder and took in a deep breath.

“Goodnight Hope”

“Goodnight Gerard”

Damn hormones