Our Love Is a War

I closed my text book and took my glasses off and placed on the closed Science book. I sighed, finally done with a 3 page report due tomorrow.

“Hey good lookin’!” I jumped at the voice of my best friend, then I heard her laugh as she hugged me from behind. “Aw, did I scare you Ozzy?” she cooed and rubbed her face into mine. It hurts, but I bit back a grunt of pain.

“No.” I choked out, giving it away. She stopped hugging me and I leaned my head back, seeing her upside-down. She did not look happy. She put her cold hand on my bruised cheek I hid with cover-up, causing me to flinch. One because it’s a fresh bruise, and two because her hands are always cold. I noticed the change in her expression. It went from, What’s wrong? to What the fuck did he do?

“What the fuck did he do?” she growled. See? I frowned and sat the right way, staring at my science book and pulling my sleeves down. I felt her cold hands grab me roughly and I instantly became scared. He usually treated me like this. Mona turned my whole body around, along with the chair, to face her. She was in a black coat, a black skirt, sporting her neon orange beanie in her blonde hair with a white shirt underneath her coat. “What did he,” she seethed, “do?” It wasn’t a question…more of a threat.

I gulped. “He-he di-did-” she glared at me. I was lying, and she knew. Matthew beat me yesterday I don’t know why, but he did. I have a scratch mark and finger bruises on my arms and he punched me in the face. It hurt. It really did. And I guess I showed this because Mona’s brown eyes filled with rage was now filled with sadness; Something I wish I didn’t need to see. She carefully place her hand on my cheek and rubbed it.

“Why don’t you leave him?” she asked softly, and I said. I turned to gather my things and left Mona from the small table on my colleges’ campus. I heard her follow. “And don’t give me that. ‘I love him’ bullshit!” she half yelled. Half because other students were looking at us weird already. But we get that all the time.

“But I do love him, Mona.” I told her, for about the millionth time. I don’t care if he hurts me. I love him. I honestly do.

“You deserve better!” she pressed on. I hugged my books closer to my chest and walked over to my car, Mona at my heels. “Listen will you?” she shouted, her hand grabbing my shoulder. I screamed at the contact, losing my senses and dropping everything, shutting my eyes. Fear came over me as I remembered what Matthew does whenever he yells at me. I heard my things drop to the floor and a lost of contact from a cold hand. Opening my closed eyes, I looked into a horrified face of my best friend, Mona. Although her gaze was on me, her eyes were somewhere else. I gathered my stuff up and bid Mona a sorry goodbye before racing home.

I’m sorry, Mona I thought, feeling my eye grow watery. I know she’ll never hurt me. But just for that split second… I can’t leave him. I thought, maybe somehow that thought would go to Mona.

I’m drowned in love and I’m in to deep.

I can’t get out.

And the bad part is I don’t want to be saved.