The Expectation to Never Expect

The weather outside didn't seem to live up to it's reputation. This was an Australia summer, and the mercury was staying well below what had been predicted.

"So are you going to come around to Sam's this weekend?" Lilly's eyes were staring through my own, her body on a slight lean.

"I don't know of I can-"

"Are you joking? We haven't hung out in weeks, we haven't gone out dancing in even longer!"

My fingertips graced different fabrics as we lingered inside the clothing store. It was a small boutique and everything was made with love, care and wild dedication.

"Lilly, I'm so busy at the moment you don't understand. I have the late applications to fill out, I have work and everything else. Im trying really I am but sometimes it's just a little too impossible to fit everything in. Besides it's not like you've tried to tear yourself away from Sam long enough to even know my brother's in hospital again."

"What's that suppose to mean? I'm the shit friend here?"

In our group of friends Lilly was the aggressor. She was big headed and stubborn which generally made her out to be the leader. It was Lilly's way or no way and for seven years I let her believe it.

"Can you hear yourself? I really don't have the energy to try and defend the fact that I'm spending my weekend by my brother's bed side, situation isn't in my hands Lilly, maybe you should invest in some empathy." I put the dress I'd been planning to buy back down on the rack and walked out of the store.

It wasn't normal for us to fight, it wasn't routine for our words to clash and break a part. In seven years we'd bickered and taunted each other but never publicly. It wasn't as if we were screaming in the clothing store, we were merely harshly talking but it wasn't like us, it wasn't Hunter and Lilly.

I should have know then and there that things would change.

***

Blake was older than me by two years, before I came along he was the only child of our parents, he was the center of their world. Perhaps that's why as we grew up I was always the center of his bullying. Or perhaps it was just the ritual of sibling rivalry taking place.

"If it isn't the ugly sibling." His voice was hoarse and cracked slightly, eyes dark and tired.

"Should you be sitting up like that?" 

"Oh alright mum, sorry forgot I was a baby."

Blake was sick. Not in the sense where he would die in a matter of months or years. More in the way where his asthma was so severe he was capable of having an attack just from laughing too hard.

"So what's wrong with you sad bags?" To say we weren't in tune would have been a lie, Blake could pin point every emotion across my face no matter how hard I tried to hide it.

"It's nothing, how are you feeling wheezy?" I laughed stupidly at my own joke.

"Fine. And it's something, you have a fight with Lilly?"

"How do you even-"

"Well you're pretty ugly so it can't be a boy and Lilly can just generally be a bitch."

"I should just pull out your oxygen tank." I glared over at him for the 'ugly' comment.

"I can still breathe on my own. It's not a respirator Hunter." 

"I'll just inject an air bubble into your IV."

His face retorted to a contemplative expression before he casually nodded. "So what's the go with Lilly?"

"She's just annoyed that I'm working, applying for uni, visiting you and making new friends. She thinks we're falling apart because we don't spend as much time together."

"Is she your best friend or your boyfriend?"

"Sometimes, I seriously wonder."